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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Rebellion 2002

July 13, 2008 | Posted by J.D. Dunn
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Dark Pegasus Video Review: Rebellion 2002  

Rebellion 2002
by J.D. Dunn

Typically great WWE video package opens the show. They should just make the whole show out of these.

  • October 26, 2002
  • Live from Manchester, England.
  • Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

  • Stephanie McMahon announces that the Undertaker will not be here tonight (his wife was having their baby), so Edge will get a shot at the WWE Title tonight. Also, as part of her trade to acquire the Big Show (not something you want to brag about, Steph), she’s acquired the services of Booker T for one night only.
  • Opening Match: Booker T vs. Matt Hardy.
    Matt facts: Matt Loves English Muffins. They tease each other with false tests of strength to start. Matt gets in an armdrag but gets dropkicked to the floor. Back in, Matt suckers Booker into a hot shot. Booker comes back with the Jack Brisco rollup but gets caught with a Side Effect for two. Booker powers out of a surfboard and hits a spinebuster. Tazz explains that Hurt Street is two blocks away from Dream Street and one block away from Pain Street. My Navigator confirms this. Booker hits a spinkick for two. Matt’s legdrop misses, so Booker goes up and missile dropkicks him. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Matt goes for the Twist of Fate, but Booker counters to the Bookend. ONE, TWO, THRE-foot on the ropes. Matt recovers with the Twist of Fate, but he can’t cover immediately, so it only gets two. Matt goes for another, but Booker slips out and finishes with the Scissors Kick at 12:02. Booker gives us a celebratory Spinaroonie. Solid opener. **1/2

  • Backstage, Paul Heyman tracks down Stephanie McMahon and complains that the title match tonight is not fair. Her answer is that life isn’t fair.
  • Recap of Torrie Wilson finding her fully clothed father Al Wilson in the shower with Dawn Marie. Dawn Marie offers to break it off (no, not *it*), but Al is such a damned stud that Dawn Marie can’t resist the LD.
  • Billy Kidman & Torrie Wilson vs. John Cena & Dawn Marie.
    Cena turned heel on Kidman a few weeks prior, but he hadn’t yet started rapping. The guys separate a catfight before the bell, and Cena uses the opening to jump Kidman from behind. He hot shots Kidman on the top rope and goes for a delayed suplex. Kidman slips out but gets leveled with a clothesline. Dawn Marie tags in and puts the boots to Kidman, but Kidman no-sells and lets Torrie spank her. They get into a scrum on the canvas, and Billy tries to break it up, getting lost in a din of thighs, hair, and silicone. Big pop for Kidman. The ref turns around to admonish Kidman (presumably for doing the spot usually reserved for the ref’s), and that allows Cena to come in and bodyslam Torrie like a good heel. Torrie gets revenge with a low blow. Great facial expression from Cena. Billy tags in and hits a back elbow. That sets up the Tornado Bulldog. Torrie spears Dawn out of the ring, and Kidman finishes with the Shooting Star Press (that barely makes contact) at 5:24. Torrie makes out with Kidman after the match. Good, trashy sports entertainment here. **1/4

  • Edge promises to make the most out of his first title shot.
  • Crash Holly vs. Funaki.
    Funaki had quite the following as Smackdown’s #1 announcer. Crash was doing basically the same gimmick Eric Young does on TNA today. He makes fun of Funaki’s ka-ra-te and gets punted in the face. Crash suckers Funaki to the floor and hits him on his way out. Funaki fires back but misses a dropkick. Tazz gets bored and does his Gordon Solie impression. Funaki hits it on a second try and gets two off a bodyscissors rollup. Crash reverses, but Funaki finishes with a Bandido at 5:36. **

  • In the back, Jamie Noble and Nidia find the people of England a bit provincial, so they want to get back to West Virginia ASAP.
  • Cruiserweight Title, 3-Way: Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri.
    Rey tosses Noble out on Tajiri and hits a Corkscrew Plancha. The difference between this Rey and the Rey you see today is measured in light years. Everything is crisp, and he moves around the ring like greased lightning. Tajiri takes over and hits the handspring elbow. Noble takes the tree-of-woe dropkick, and Rey gets caught in the Tarantula. Rey tries a springboard, but Tajiri spies him and knocks him silly with a back thrust kick. Noble uses that opening to jump Tajiri and eliminate him with a Tiger Bomb at 2:53. Rey counters a powerbomb to a huracanrana for two. He tries a flying rana off the top rope, but Noble reverses to a powerbomb for two. Noble tosses Rey into the post and allows Nidia to gets her shots in. Noble goes after the arm with a hammerlock and a reverse armlock. Rey comes back with a Tornado DDT and a Dime Drop for two. Mysterio hits the Code Red, but Nidia has the ref. Rey sets up for the 619, but Nidia trips him up, saving Noble again. Rey kicks out of the Tiger Bomb and goes for a rollup, but Noble blocks with a handful of Nidia for the pin at 12:47. This was about par for the course for the Cruiserweights until Matt Hardy came along. Rey gives Noble and Nidia a double stuff 619 to get revenge. **1/2

  • In the back, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit argue over who is the captain of the team. Kurt: I’m American, so I’m the best. Chris: Well, I’m Canadian, so I’m the best. Kurt: Well, I put my career ahead of my wife and kids, so I’m a worse husband and father. Chris: Oh, we’ll see about that.
  • No, they really didn’t say that, but they do get in each other’s faces with only Stephanie’s edict that if one touches the other, he gets suspended to keep them apart.
  • Val Venis & Chuck Palumbo vs. D-Von & Ron Simmons.
    D-Von was kind of in the Twilight Zone between gimmicks. He dropped the evil preacher gimmick (which might have been interesting) early in the Fall, but he wasn’t quite back to Dudleyville yet. Ron Simmons was still Faarooq only using his real name. That must have been considered the key to drawing money because Val Venis would drop his gimmick and become Sean Morley soon after this. This is post-gay for Chuck. Simmons hands out some spinebusters early. Chuckie comes back with jabs as the faces are on a roll. Simmons clocks Chuck from the floor, allowing D-Von to roll him up with a handful of tights at 4:10. Barely seemed to get started before it finished. Not that I’m complaining. *3/4

  • Eddy and Chavo Guerrero extol the virtues of Mexico. Chavo is pretty funny. “Remember the Alamo? Of course we do because WE WON!”
  • Kiss-My-Ass Match: Albert vs. Rikishi.
    I see nothing good coming out of this. This is pre-A-Train for Albert, so he’s just a generic heel with back fur. He actually reminds me a lot of Iron Mike Sharpe for some reason. Maybe it’s the foghorn voice. Rikishi bends over and shows his ass, scaring Albert off. Albert kills the match with a chinlock. Rikishi elbows out and they do the double clothesline spot. Rikishi fires back with a Samoan Drop and a DDT for two. Albert comes back with the Bicycle Kick for two. Rikishi hits a thrust kick and the Banzai Drop for the win at 7:18. Albert refuses to kiss Rikishi’s ass and low blows him, but Rikishi avoids Albert’s attempt at a Stinkface and makes him toss his salad. Rikishi dances with all the announcers. About as predictable as you can get. *

  • World Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros.
    Angle wins an argument over who should start. Angle cleans house on both Guerreros but stops to talk trash to Benoit, so Benoit tags himself. The crowd starts in with dueling “Let’s go Benoit” and “We want Angle” chants. Benoit destroys Eddy and whips him into the buckle. Angle tags back in to a big pop. Angle and Benoit try to outdo each other with German suplexes. Angle starts throwing around suplexes. The Guerreros CHEAT TO WIN~! and isolate Benoit. Benoit chops his way back and puts Chavo in the Crippler Crossface. Chavo makes the ropes, though, and tosses Benoit to the floor. Eddy jumps Chris and suplexes him. Chavo holds Benoit down, and hits him with a slingshot senton. Benoit catches Eddy with a SICK powerbomb, but Chavo hits him from behind. Chavo tags in but runs right into the Crippler Crossface. Eddy breaks it up, though, and tries a frogsplash. Benoit rolls out of the way, though, and Eddy squashes Chavo. HOT TAG TO KURT! Suplexes abound. Belly-to-belly for Eddy. ROLLING GERMANS to Chavo. SWANDIVE HEADBUTT TO GUERRERO! Angle covers but Chavo breaks it up and gives Kurt a brainbuster. Eddy covers. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Eddy goes up! Kurt pops up and hops on top for the superplex, but Eddy shoves him down and hits the frogsplash! Awesome! Benoit makes the save at the last second but gets shoved down by Chavo. Angle goes for the Angleslam on Eddy, but Eddy slips off his shoulder and shoves him into Benoit. Benoit and Angle get into it, allowing Eddy to get the El Paso Lasso. Angle reaches back and reverses it to the Anklelock. Eddy taps, but the ref got bumped in the Benoit/Angle exchange. Chavo clocks Kurt with the title belt and shoves the ref back in. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Chavo goes up, but Benoit shoves him off and snaps Eddy’s throat on the top rope. Eddy staggers back into the Angleslam at 16:36. Typically awesome tag team contest from these four. They seemed to wrestle each other every week in late 2002, and yet it wasn’t nearly enough. ****

  • WWE Heavyweight Title, Handicap Match: Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman vs. Edge.
    For obvious reasons, Brock starts. He shoves Edge around and looks really mean. Edge dropkicks him to the floor. Heyman helps calm Lesnar down. Back in, they work in a cool spot where Lesnar tries to do a double-leg takedown, but Edge flips over the top of him and rolls him up for two. Lesnar tries a press slam, but Edge slips out of his grip and rolls him up for two more. Edge suckers Brock into charging and then tosses him to the floor. Lesnar gets angry and has to be calmed again. Back in, Edge avoids a charge and spears Heyman off the apron, but that allows Lesnar to catch up with him and give him a belly-to-belly. He gives Edge a backbreaker and bowls him over with a shoulderblock. A surfboard slows the match down. Edge battles out but gets caught in the F5. He slips out and rolls Brock up for two, but Brock stays on top and grabs a reverse bearhug. Edge fights back and dropkicks Brock into the buckle. He stops to dropkick a recovering Heyman too. Brock misses another charge and posts himself. Brock no-sells a few clotheslines, but Edge puts him down with a flying clothesline and sends him over the top. Edge drags Heyman in and hits him with a double ax-handle. ONE, TWO, THRE-Brock pulls Edge off. Edge hits Lesnar with a missile dropkick for two. Edge goes up again, but this time Lesnar ducks, and Edge wipes out the referee. F5—NO! Edge reverses the Edgecution! ONE, TWO, THREEEEE!!! Oh, but there’s no ref. Heyman slides a chair in to Lesnar. Brock lifts it up, but Edge ducks under and hits a SPEAR! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Edge goes up again, but Brock grabs the chair and hits him in the gut while the ref recovers. F5 gets the finish at 18:50. Edge doesn’t get nearly enough credit for being able to play both a face and a heel really well. This was like Sting vs. Vader with Edge hitting every flying move he could think of and Brock surviving and overpowering him. ***1/2

  • After the match, Heyman grabs the chair and prepares to dish out some more punishment. Instead, Edge boots the chair back in his face and gives him the Edgecution.
  • The 411: There was always a big difference between the haves and have-nots in 2002 Smackdown. The guys who were good (Brock & the Smackdown Six) were really good and really over. The rest… not so much. The CW match was good, the tag match was excellent, and the main event was pretty good. The rest felt like filler, but those matches are enough to earn this a mild recommendation.

    Thumbs slightly up.

     
    Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]  legend

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