Dark Pegasus Video Review: Ring of Honor — The Last Stand

Ring of Honor — The Last Stand by J.D. Dunn Twitter.com/jddunn411 Brightkite.com/jddunn411 Facebook.com/jddunn411 Last time out, CM Punk and the Second City Saints put Christopher Daniels through a table and broke his neck (kayfabe~!), so the Prophecy now has to regroup. Also, the Briscoes were successful in defending their tag titles against Samoa Joe and Bryan Danielson. Joe has one last shot (hence the show’s name), this time with tag partner Jerry Lynn. January 29, 2004 From Glen Burnie, Md., home of the largest chandeliers in the world. Your hosts are Chris Lovey and Chris Nelson. Julius Smokes meets the debuting backstage interviewer Sugar Shawn Price, but Homicide doesn’t really feel like cutting a promo. Samoa Joe’s Ring: He displays some of the stretching moves that he used to make Jim Cornette not want to show up to shows. The Prophecy stops arguing long enough to cut a promo on the other guys in the #1 Contender’s Trophy match. Opening Match, Pure Title Qualifier: John Walters vs. Chad Collyer. Pure rules, in case you didn’t know, mean you get three chances to break a submission or pin by grabbing the ropes, but after that the ropes are meaningless. The idea is to keep guys from stalling and force them to wrestle. It’s a better idea in theory than practice. This is a solid and clean, if colorless, match. Collyer goes semi-heel, dominating most of the match, but he uses all of his ropebreaks in the process, allowing Walters to apply a Tarantula Crab for the submission at 14:05. **3/4 Christopher Daniels cuts an amazing promo from his home while holding his sleeping daughter. He accuses the Second City Saints of throwing a tantrum because they couldn’t beat the Prophecy straight up. Six-Man Mayhem: Chris Sabin vs. Jack Evans vs. Caprice Coleman vs. Slyk Wagner Brown (w/April Hunter) vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Hydro (w/Becky Bayless). April is introduced as “the Most Desirable Woman in Wrestling.” Can’t argue with that — and I’m a leg man! She looks like someone who would get bit by Christopher Lee. Winner of this match gets a spot in the Top 5. That stipulation should tell you the winner right away because Sabin and Hydro are the only regular ROHers in the match, and Hydro is a glorified jobber at this point. Caprice looks good, hitting a spinning axe kick. Funny spot as Slyk readies for a dive onto Caprice, but Hydro sneaks in and hits one instead, stealing his thunder. That leads to the usual series of dives with Jack Evans hitting his crazy springboard corkscrew. They do a goofy six-man submission spot and an even goofier six-man suplex spot. Sonjay hits Jack with a Muscle Buster and Hindu Press. Caprice looks lost as he just watches Slyk set up Sonjay and then makes the save. Well, that made everyone look stupid. Sabin hits Hydro with a Dragon Suplex and a Cradle Shock at 9:27. Remember when the Dragon Suplex used to be a finisher instead of a setup move? This was the usual spotfest, but with guys like Evans and Sonjay in there, it worked. Even Slyk didn’t botch anything terribly. **1/4 Good Times, Great Memories. We’re LIVE in the middle of the ring for the first time. Colt entertains (himself) with his standup routine. His guests are Dunn & Marcos who aren’t going to take it anymore. The Prophecy hits the ring and destroys Colt. Colt escapes during a Dunn & Marcos air guitar riff, so the Ringscrew Express takes the brunt of their wrath. Sugar Shawn Price is outside of Homicide’s locker room, but he has nothing to report. Good job, Shug! Triple Threat: The Carnage Crew vs. The Backseat Boys vs. Dixie & Izzy (w/Special K). Loc and Justin Credible attack in the aisle because they want revenge for Special K getting Devito’s daughter high. In fact, Devito isn’t there because he’s keeping an eye on her. It’s supposed to be Triple-Threat Rules, but it winds up as an eight-man tag with the Backseats and Carnage Crew teaming up against the rich-kid ravers. The CC gives Dixie a Spiked That’s Incredible, which is a cool and sensible variation of their normal finisher. Finally, the CC is about to get a win over Special K, but the Backseats turn on Loc and hit him with the T-Gimmick to steal a victory at 5:33. Just a bunch of silly (and sloppy) spots until the end. * #1 Contender’s Match, Four-Corner Survival: BJ Whitmer (w/Allison Danger) vs. Dan Maff vs. Xavier vs. Matt Stryker. Maff & Whitmer feuded for most of 2003 until Whitmer joined the Prophecy at Final Battle 2003. Even then, they still didn’t like each other. Xavier is a former member of the Prophecy who officially left at Final Battle 2003 and formed the Embassy with Prince Nana (who is in Japan). Matt Stryker has an eyebrow. Well, I had to write something about him. Xavier winds up taking the brunt of the violence early because everyone hates him. In fact, most of the tension between the other guys is over who gets to kick Xavier’s ass. The crowd gets restless during a wrestling segment between Xavier and Stryker. Stryker and Xavier tag out, forcing the two Prophecy members (who don’t like each other anyway) to fight. Oh, but the Prophecy decides to jump their opponents instead. The brawl spills to the floor so everyone can hit big dives on top of the pile. Back in, Stryker applies the Strykerlock on Whitmer, but Maff comes in and applies a cross armlock. Xavier breaks everything up with a 450-splash. Xavier hits the Kiss Your X Goodbye, but Maff sneaks in and tosses him with a Half-Nelson Suplex. Stryker breaks up the Burning Hammer and hits a DVD on Maff. A Prophecy doubleteam backfires as Maff hits Whitmer with the lariat. Whitmer responds with a superkick, knocking Maff onto Stryker. Whitmer covers too, and they both get the pin at 14:10. Not a big fan of the finish, and the angle they were building was re-written for some unexplained reason. **1/2 Jim Cornette demands some REAL tag team competition. In the back, Gary Michael Capetta announces that there will be a Triple Threat match between Maff, Whitmer and Samoa Joe. If Joe pins either man, he retains. If either of them pin Joe, they are the champ. If Maff pins Whitmer, or vice versa, they will get a singles match with Joe. Alex Shelley vs. Jimmy Jacobs. Jimmy shows some really good moves in there, including a reverse bow-and-arrow choke. Shelley matches him hold for hold and shows phenomenal mat wrestling. He twists Jacobs over into the Border City Stretch, but Jimmy is in the ropes. Jimmy hits a multi-rotation headscissors and tries to go for a pescado, but Shelley just counters to a gutbuster. Jacobs apparently hurts his arm on the way down. Shelley hits a knee and a beautiful Goku-Raku Bridge. Jimmy tries to come back with a rana, but Shelley blocks and slings him into the corner. Jimmy fights back and hits a reverse Pedigree. I know it has some sort of other name, but I can’t think of it and that’s a better descriptor anyway. The Contra Code misses, but Jacobs hits a big boot for two. The senton finds Shelley’s knees, and Shelley hits the Shellshock. Jacobs kicks out, but Shelley doesn’t miss a beat and rolls him into the Border City Stretch for the submission at 12:19. Awesome match from two hungry guys looking to make an impact, and in fact, they would be cornerstones of the ROH rebuilding process in 2004. ***3/4 CM Punk (w/Tracy Brooks & Colt Cabana) vs. Homicide (w/Julius Smokes). At this point, Punk is establishing himself as the dominant heel in ROH. They do a fast little exchange of counters, forcing Punk to the floor to call for a time out. Lots of stalling from Punk, and the match turns into a wrestle-stall-wrestle-stall series for nearly 10 minutes. Thankfully, they go at it full tilt when they do wrestle. They both go for dropkicks at the same time, which would be more effective if Jacobs and Shelley hadn’t used it in the previous match. They chop it out, and both guys go to the eyes. They both try clotheslines and knock each other down. To the floor, Punk catches Homicide on a charge and rams him into the barrier. Back in, Punk hits the Facewash, but Homicide responds with a running knee. Homicide knocks Punk to the floor and hits a tope con hilo. They trade move for move, and Homicide locks in the STF. Punk makes the ropes and hits a backdrop suplex for two. Punk goes for an Ace Crusher, but Homicide reverses to one of his own and hits the Cop Killa at 20:02. After the match, Dan Maff and BJ Whitmer run down to javelin Colt’s injured shoulder into the ring post. They think about going after Punk, but Homicide blocks them. This varied between really good and boring, but it never really established the kind of even keel that I was hoping for. *** ROH Tag Team Titles: The Briscoe Bros. (w/Jim Cornette) vs. Samoa Joe & Jerry Lynn. Both of the Briscoes had good shots at taking the ROH World title from Joe, and now Joe is taking his shots at the Tag Titles. Joe and Bryan Danielson failed to win the tag titles last time out, and now Joe has recruited Lynn, who isn’t the wrestler that Danielson is but isn’t the threat to Joe that Danielson is either. The faces dominate the Briscoes early on, and Jim Cornette asks the ref if any of that is legal. Lynn quips, “It’s called wrestling, and the WWF fired me for it!” Cornette, who at that point headed OVW, has no rebuttal for a moment, but as Mark tags in he screams, “This is how you win a match, and if you’d done that, you would have kept your job!” ON SNAP! Cornette asks for a time out as things are not going well for the Briscoes. Lynn goes after Cornette, but Mark jumps him from behind. Lynn plays face-in-peril as the Briscoes run through their array of doubleteams which were cool at the time but have gotten AMAZING since then. Joe gets the hot tag and cleans house. STF, but Jay is in the ropes. Lynn and Mark battle on the floor. Corny uses the distraction to sneak in with the racket, but Joe catches him and knocks him into next week. That allows Jay to grab the racket and wallop Joe with it for the win at 16:02. Looked like Joe kicked out there, but the ref counted anyway. After the match, Joe and Lynn wipe out the referee in retaliation as the heels make a getaway with the belts. This match was a lot smoother than the Battle Lines match, and that’s mostly due to the different characterizations between Lynn and Danielson. ***1/2 After the match, Joe complains about Cornette and the referees and takes it out on the backstage area. Maff & Whitmer attack Joe and leave him lying. Homicide explains he’s going away for a while, but he’ll be back.

The 411: The show left me feeling flat until the Jacobs/Shelley match, which is the standout here. I think part of it has to do with this being one of the last shows before "The Feinstein Incident" so I know everything they're building here is going to change in a few months anyway. The last three matches are pretty good and earn this a mild recommendation, but it's not a blowaway show that you need to pick up. Mild thumbs up for The Last Stand.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]