Death by Midwest: IWA Mid-South King of the Deathmatches 2007 Night One

IWA Mid-South presents
The King of the Deathmatches 2007 Night #1
June 22nd, 2007
Capitol Sports Center in Plainfield, IN

CHAMPIONS ROLL CALL
-Heavyweight Champion: Chuck Taylor (1st reign-defeated Toby Klein on 9/30/06 in Midlothian, IL)
-Light Heavyweight Champion: Brandon Thomaselli (1st reign-defeated Josh Abercrombie on 5/14/07 in Shelbyville, IN)
-Tag Team Champions: The Iron Saints (3rd reign-defeated Up in Smoke in finals of the Candido Cup to win vacant titles on 5/28/07 in Midlothian, IL)
-Deathmatch Champion: Drake Younger (1st reign-won 6-way Rumble match to win new title on 2/9/06 in Plainfield, IN)
-Women’s Champion-Mickie Knuckles (2nd reign-defeated Hailey Hatred on 2/8/06 in Huntington, WV)

Well, I got pretty far behind on doing every show of 2007, so I jumped ahead a bit and I’m re-booting with a sick, sadistic two nights of wrestling. The King of the Deathmatches. The story of this year’s tournament is the feud between IWA Mid-South and IWA Deep South. Tank, Freakshow, and Insane Lane have been at war ever since attacking Ian Rotten and Drake Younger in their cage match, and then Freakshow putting Ian out of action by stabbing him in the eye at a Deep South show. Will one of these men walk away as IWA Mid South’s King of the Deathmatch?

DEATHMATCH RATINGS
Some of the IWA Mid-South faithful were wondering how I rate deathmatches. I’m looking for the same things as in most matches. Crisp execution, storytelling, and minimal screwups. But with deathmatches, I do award stars for sheer brutality. I like it more however when these guys are good wrestlers and not just fat slobs who bleed. If I wanted that, I’d review Big Japan.

Apparently Smart Mark got some snazzy new menus! There’s live video on the front menu, and you can play the show with or without commentary. Nice.

All matches on Night One are tournament matches.

#1: BARBED WIRE ROPES AND BAT MATCH: Mickie Knuckles vs. Tank
Oh jesus. IWA Mid South vs. Deep South right off the bat. These two are both stiff as all hell and can wrestle. Mickie’s a 2-time Women’s Champ and Tank was in the 2005 TPI. Mickie’s new music confuses the crowd. Though I like how she comes out with a bottle of Jack. I’m partial to whiskey. She chugs some before the match. Jim Fannin reminds me that Mickie won last year’s Queen of the Deathmatches and Tank won IWA Deep South’s 2005 Carnage Cup. Tank attacks Mickie before the bell with stiff punches. Mickie fires back with HEADBUTTS. Tank NAILS her with one after another. God damn. Mickie gets choked with her own pigtails and meets a barbed wire stick. In case anyone had bets, first blood of the 2007 KOTDM was drawn at 1:29 into the first match. More STIFF headbutts. One knocks Tank down and gets a “Holy shit” chant. That’d be about 2:30 into the tourney for the first one of those. Mickie is POURING blood, but she busts Tank open and bites him. To the outside and it’s BAR FIGHT time! STIFFFFF punches! I love this. HEADBUTTS! Palm strike! Chops! Fannin reminds me about how the Deep South guys tried to hang her in a cage at the last Plainfield show. Tank trips Mickie and hooks her in a half crab with his huge leg over her head. Back inside Tank beats Mickie up more and whips her into the wire. Mickie fires back by whipping Tank hard into the barbed wire board! Owwww. Tank rakes the bat across Mickie’s forehead but Mickie still fights back. She wraps her leg in barbed wire and gives Tank a front lungblower. Nice. Tank grabs the bat but Mickie runs up and KAWADA KICKS THE BARBED WIRE BAT INTO TANK’S FACE!!!! That gets 3 at 10:05. ***1/2. Really brutal stuff. The story here was Mickie’s tenacity, as she wanted revenge on Tank for last month. Not a lot of weapons use, but a lot of stiff hits and a SHITLOAD OF BLOOD. Great way to start the tourney.

After the match, Mickie cuts a promo taunting Tank. She said Tank underestimated her just like everyone else does. Mickie says this year is her year. Mickie cut a pretty good short promo there. Tank also speaks backstage saying “I let a bitch beat me.” He credits Mickie for being tough. He says Insane Lane and Freakshow are still in it for IWA Deep South. He warns Ian that he’ll get a hell of a beating when he returns from injury.

#2: TAIPEI DEATH MATCH: Rollin Hard vs. Necro Butcher
Rollin Hard is the 2000 KOTDM winner, and is making a rare appearance as he’s still recovering from surviving cancer. He’s a surprise replacement and the crowd loves it. Necro Butcher is the 2002 KOTDM winner. By the way, there’s still barbed wire on the ropes. Why let it go to waste, I guess. They square off boxing style to start. Necro scrapes some glass across Rollin’s head and Rollin is bleeding first. Then Necro digs some barbed wire into the busted open forehead. Rollin knocks Necro down with some punches. By the way, some wrestlers are on commentary and they suck at it. Where is Ben Jordan? Necro’s POURING blood and the camera man zooms in on it. Big lariat from Rollin gets 2. More zoom on Necro’s bleeding. Rollin wails away on Necro’s head and you can SEE THE GLASS digging in! NECRO PUNCHES WITH THE GLASS ON THEM! Rollin fights dirty by stepping on Necro’s bootless feet. Rollin ties Necro up in his own shirt in one of his signature spots. Necro goes for the Asiatic Spike but Rollin blocks it and hits a sidewalk slam. Necro recovers and hooks the Asiatic Spike! Rollin taps out from it at 7:54. *1/2. Too short and slow. But I’ll put that mostly on Rollin being gone from action for so long.

#3: FOUR CORNERS OF PAIN: Scotty Vortekz vs. Madman Pondo
This match involves 4 special weapons on the outside that will be used in the match. Pondo is the 2003 KOTDM. He’s also one of my least favorite wrestlers. He never takes bumps well, and he routinely breaks kayfabe in the middle of the match when he jaws to the crowd. I just don’t see the point in that. Pondo brought a staple gun match. Apparently it’s Scotty Vortekz instead of just Vortekz now. Lots of love for Pondo from the crowd. They lock up and Pondo sucks at that. He takes down Scotty and puts a staple in his shoulder. Then he staples a dollar to his ass. Then one to his back. Owwwww. Sidewalk slam from Pondo. Pondo nails Vortekz with the stop sign. Special weapon #1 comes in and it’s a BED OF MOUSETRAPS. Vortekz gives Pondo a tilt-a-whirl headscissors into the bed. Pondo took that like shit. Scotty staples Pondo and they go outside. Scotty goes for a standing moonsault off the apron but Pondo moves and Scotty lands on a barbed wire board. Damn, it stuck to his armpit. Pondo insults a girl in the crowd. “I hope her pussy ain’t as big as her fucking mouth.” BURN. Pondo dropkicks Scotty’s head into the barbed wire board. Back inside….PUMPHANDLE SLAM ON THE BARBED WIRE BOARD…for 2! His back is gashed up after that. Special weapon #3 comes out and it’s IWA written out in Christmas ornaments and light tubes. Pondo gets a chair and props up the thing. Scotty puts Pondo up top…SUPER RANA onto the ORNAMENTS! Ok, Pondo took that well. I’ll give him that. Scotty digs the broken tube into Pondo’s head. Scotty lies Pondo down in the broken ornaments and goes up top…DOUBLE KNEE STOMP! That gets 2. Special weapon #4 comes in and it’s a BED OF CACTI! Pondo is DRENCHED in his own blood. It’s a damn waterfall. Scotty sets up the bed of cacti on two chairs. Scotty tries to drag Pondo into it but gets a back suplex into the broken ornaments! Owwwww. Scotty’s hand is bleeding profusely and his back is cut open badly. Pondo brings him up top…SUPER DDT INTO THE CACTI! That gets 3 at 11:31. ***1/4. What the hell. That was a damn good match with Pondo bleeding like a madman and Scotty bumping huge for the bigger guy.

After the match, they zoom in on some of Scotty’s wounds. He cuts a promo putting over Pondo. Right. Pondo cuts a promo doing the same and pokes fun at Necro dressing near him. Then he insults CZW. Right.

#4: IWA DEATHMATCH TITLE MATCH, THUMBTACK INSANITY: Drake Younger © vs. Fukimoto
In the tradition of the TPI, Drake Younger is defending his IWA Deathmatch Title throughout the tournament. Fukimoto brings the green mist! He’s from the F.U.C.K. promotion in Japan. Drake won the CZW Tournament of Death this year and almost lost his nipple in the process. There’s a huge bed of thumbtacks in the ring. Joey Eastman on commentary now and thank God, Allah, and Tony Soprano for that. They struggle near the ropes and Fukimoto hits Drake with a thumbtack bat right on the damn head. And there’s a damn thumbtack in his head. Fukimoto gets a shot with it in return. Drake gets a thumbtack bedazzled road sign and throws Fukimoto into it. Damn. Fukimoto blocks a suplex and hits a HEAD DROP GERMAN SUPLEX ON DRAKE INTO THE PILE OF TACKS! Holy shit! Fukimoto nails Drake with the THUMBTACK CHAIR! Drake stops Fukimoto….SPINEBUSTER IN THE TACKS! That gets 2. Sidewalk slam by Drake on the thumbtack chair. Eastman is doing a great job of putting over both guys and the pain they put themselves through. Missile dropick by Fukimoto sends Drake into the tacks. Lariat by Fukimoto gets 2. Drake blocks a kick…LEG CAPTURE SUPLEX by Drake in the tacks! Fukimoto blocks the Vertebreaker and Drake gets the GREEN MIST! GANSO BOMB INTO THE THUMBTACKS BY FUKIMOTO….for 2!!! Drake comes back…VERTEBREAKER INTO THE THUMBTACKS! That gets 3 at 6:19. *** Really shirt but completely insane. I had to put it to 3 stars on that brutal Ganso Bomb alone. Fukimoto looked really good and Drake looked on top of his game. Those guys are human pincushions for all those insane moves they took into thumbtacks.

Drake names all the men he’s faced. He guarantees he will be the first man to win KOTDM and Tournament of Death in the same year. “Pain is temporary, pride is forever.” Drake’s promos are getting better. Fukimoto rambles in Japanese.

#5: TABLES, LIGHT TUBES, LADDERS, CHAIRS and BARBED WIRE CAGE MATCH: Dysfunction vs. Danny Havoc
I’ve never seen Havoc before. Dysfunction is a rising star in the Midwest and has been appearing on occasion for IWA since 2000. This is strange that one side of the cage is gone and replaced by barbed wire strung up to the cage’s height. Damn. So barbed wire is only on that side of the cage. Havoc gets HEAVED into that side after he already busted Dys open. STIFF kicks from Dysfuction. Rollup gets 2 for Havoc. HIPTOSS BY DYSFUNCTION ONTO A BARBED WIRE LADDER gets 2. SCOOP BRAINBUSTER BY HAVOC ONTO THE BARBED WIRE LADDER gets 2! Dear lord. He smashes a light tube on Havoc’s chest and KICKS THE SHIT OUT OF HAVOC’S FACE for 2. Ab stretch by Dys and he rubs Havoc’s face in the wire. Low blow kick by Dysfunction. Last Call from Dysfunction gets 2. Havoc smashes a tube on Dys and digs it into his arm. Havoc throws that arm into the wire. He sticks it to the wire side and then kicks it. Wait, working over a body part in a deathmatch? I like it! Havoc goes up top and splashes Dys with some light tubes for 2. Out comes the table. Superkick by Dysfunction and Dysfunction goes up top….GUILLOTINE LEG DROP THROUGH THE TABLE AND HE DESTROYED HAVOC….for 2! Havoc back up, HALF NELSON SUPLEX on Dysfunction for 2! Havoc sets up the barbed wire ladder on two chairs and then puts two chairs on top of the ladder. Then he piles up light tubes on Dysfunction and heads up to the top of the cage. Dysfunction stops him and throws him off the TOP OF THE DAMN CAGE THROUGH THE TUBES AND THE BARBED WIRE LADDER!!!! DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE TOP ROPE and Dysfunction gets the win at 10:06. ***3/4. Holy fucking shit the two youngsters TORE IT UP. This was 10 minutes of pure action and insane brutality. Taking a bump off a cage onto a damn barbed wire ladder! Fans help take the cage down as Havoc struggles to his feet. His arm is gashed all over really nastily. Replays of that bump after that match shows that he DESTROYED that ladder with that bump.

After the match, Dysfunction cuts a promo saying after 6 years of being in the KOTDM, he’s in it to win it. Danny Havoc says his haircut lost him the match. Well that’s just silly. “That’s all I have to say, I have to get drunk now.” I officially love Danny Havoc.

#6: HOME RUN DERBY MATCH: Freakshow vs. Mean Mitch Page
This involves a lot of bats and sticks. Thumbtack bats, barbed wire bats, water jug bats, even a barbed wire plunger. Freakshow is representing IWA Deep South. Page is the defending KOTDM winner. Page eats a huge pickle before the match. Freakshow actually stole his tourney spot, and Jim Fannin announces him as being from the “untalented, untrained backyards”. Page attacks and nails him with a bat covered with beer bottle tops. That’s a new one. Page destroys Freakshow with a thumbtack bat and there’s about 50 tacks in Freakshow’s back. Then he gets nailed with a light tube bat. And here comes the cheese grater, but Freakshow stops him and hits him with a road sign. Cheese grater on the head by Mitch! Basically, they are hitting each other with a lot of shit. And they get a lot of thumbtacks in each other. Fannin puts Mitch over for winning last year with a blown knee. Mitch gets whipped FACE FIRST into LIGHT TUBES. HOLY SHIT. Awesome camera shot on that by the way. How is it that Smart Mark was better production skills than TNA? WATER JUG BAT TO MITCH PAGE’S HEAD! Damn. Freakshow scrapes Mitch’s face with a motorcycle chain. Freakshow grabs a spike and threatens to injure Mitch the same way he did to Ian. Freakshow wails on Mitch’s forehead and taunts the crowd. Rollin Hard comes to the ring and throws in the towel for Mitch Page at 10:33. *. Good effort but it moved too slow for my taste. These are the kind of deathmatches I don’t like. It does put the Deep South guys over huge.

Freakshow runs down the IWA Mid South fans and promises victory. They show Rollin Hard and Mitch Page in the back. Rollin says he wouldn’t let Freakshow do to him what he did to Ian. Mitch tells Freakshow he hopes the next man kills him.

End of disc one. Two more first round matches to go!

#7: FANS BRING THE WEAPONS: Insane Lane vs. Brain Damage
Insane Lane is part of the Deep South crew. Brain Damage is making his return to IWA after his retirement late last year. Those never last in wrestling, do they? Lane gets some support and some jeers from the crowd. Brain Damage gets a HUGE reaction. Lots of weird weapons in this one. STIFF punches to start and Brain Damage wins that battle. Lane fires back with a barbed wire tennis racket and a light tube headbutt, along with a cheese grater. Damage scrapes the cheese grater on Lane’s head and it zooms in. VCR to the head by Damage! To the floor now as they headbutt the shit out of each other for about 20 seconds straight! DAMN. Lane gets a bodyslam on a watermelon. Never thought I’d say that. Damage sets up a light tube board between two chairs, but Lane gives him a PUMPHANDLE SLAM ONTO IT. Damage has pieces of tube on his face and neck. They move over to the top of the bleachers and Lane knocks Damage off to the floor with a huge thud. Owwww. “You are watching a fight.”-Eastman. Damage goes nuts and throws chairs on a fallen Lane and then smashes a huge thing of light tubes on him. Lane grinds some thumbtacks into Damage as revenge, then a broken light tube. Back to the ring now and Lane uses THUMBTACK CORN DOGS! That gets 2. Someone brought those party popper things. Sitout Pumphandle Slam on Damage gets 2. Lane brings out FIRECRACKERS!!!! He tells the ref to light them, but Damage instead DDTs Lane on them. It seems the Firecrackers were duds. Crowd isn’t happy about that. Damage grabs Lane…PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ON A THUMBTACK BAT! That gets 3 at 9:42. ***. Solid deathmatch. They were very intense throughout and the crowd loved it, and spent more time in the crowd than other matches which varied things up a bit. Plus I love stiff headbutts.

Insane Lane cuts a promo saying he revealed Brain Damage as human, not the Hardcore Terminator. What the hell is he talking about? He says Freakshow’s still in it for Deep South. Brain Damage swears a lot.

#8: FANS BRING THE WEAPONS: Deranged vs. Corporal Robinson
Deranged is a former Tag Champ, and Corp is an IWA veteran and the 2004 KOTDM winner. Corp brings a light tube crutch to the ring. I like Corp despite his association with the worst musical act of all time, Insane Clown Posse. They slug it off to start with Corp just beating the hell out of Deranged. Lots of stiff punching tonight. Deranged boots Corp down. Deranged clotheslines Corp to the outside on the third try. Barbed wire bat to the head of Corp as Deranged yells. Then Corp gets a thumbtack bat to the forehead as the thumbtacks stick in. And the barbed wire bat is stuck to his back. Ouchtown. A few water jug bat shots send Deranged down. Deranged gets hit with a light tube and light bulb chair. More punches. Corp sets up a thumbtack chair on the apron and sends Deranged’s head into it. They zoom in on Deranged’s puddle of blood from his head. The light tube crutch gets broken along Deranged’s back. Corp sets up five chairs on the floor but Deranged comes back with headbutts and takes Corp to the other side of the ring. He calls for the microphone and puts it near their heads as they headbutts. OH GOD THE THUDS. That will haunt my dreams. Deranged tapes some light tubes to the ring post and makes Corp HEADBUTT the post. These two are getting quite inventive. Deranged sets up a board of plastic forks and light tubes. BOOT CAMP by Corp but only for 2. Forks are stuck in Deranged’s back! Corp looks for Boot Camp again, Deranged fights its off and gets a Superkick! For 2. Deranged gets a butterfly suplex. Deranged sets up two chairs back to back and gives Corp a PUMPHANDLE SLAM ON THE UPPER LIP OF THE CHAIRS! For 2! Is it me or do deathmatch guys like pumphandle slams? Deranged puts a lighttube and barbed wire X on Corp and goes up top for a MOONSAULT…for 2! Deranged goes for another moonsault but Corp cuts him off. There’s still 5 chairs set up on the outside with a box covered with light tubes. Corp blocks a suplex onto it. They head up to the second rope and Deranged gets thrown off into it for the win at 13:17. ***. It would have been better had the finish gone as planned. As it is, another brutal match which got more time and they had some pretty inventive new spots in there. Good way to end the first night of the tournament.

After the match they show Deranged bleeding all over the place. Corp cuts a promo saying he’s always here for IWA Mid-South and he’s here to make a statement.

The 411: Out of 8 matches, only 2 were the slow deathmatches that I dislike. The rest was glorious brutality. Best of the night definitely goes to Danny Havoc and Dysfunction nearly killing each other. This proves why IWA Mid-South has the best of the American deathmatch tournaments. Thumbs up to this one
Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]