Down With The Brown: Capital Combat ‘90

Capital Combat ‘90

I want to thank all the people who E-mailed me as to where I could find the Flair/Perfect Loser Leaves RAW show, and that certainly will be the subject of a future review, no doubt.

I also just want to take a moment and thank all you readers too. Last column I mentioned was my first anniversary here, and I have to admit, I was a little hesitant about becoming a ‘net writer if only because of the possible flameage and hate mail and the like, but I have been pleasantly surprised with the kindness and overall intelligence of my audience. I thank you guys for making me want to keep doing this, and for making me feel I’m doing this for a reason. And that I’m not just writing to see myself write.

Now don’t be a smartass and flame me just to ruin my streak here.

We are headed to, in my opinion, one of the darker periods of WCW: Spring 1990. Granted, I guess it was still NWA, the name was getting fuzzier and fuzzier at this point. What made things so gloomy? Sting? Ole? Flair?

February 6, 1990 got the ball rolling as Sting was dumped from the Horsemen and was priming himself for a HUGE match with Ric Flair. Then tragedy struck as Sting’s knee tore apart in trying to attack the Horsemen, completely derailing the momentum and pretty much ruining the next four months of storylines.

Meanwhile, Ole Anderson was given the book. Despite 1989 being one of the best all-around years in NWA history, truth be told, the ratings weren’t all that great. So Flair was pushed aside (or stepped aside, you be the judge) in favor of Ole who would completely screw things up later in the year.

Those were two problems, but to me, the biggest problem of all was injuries and departures. After Sting’s injury (which was the biggest), Buzz Sawyer, Dan Spivey, and Scott Steiner all suffered major injuries. The Great Muta, Kendo Nagasaki, and Steve Williams also parted ways with the company. That’s six guys out. And the problem was that there was nobody to fill the spots. Lex Luger became the #1 guy by default, but after him, there was nobody.

Do you know who the #2 contender was in PWI from February through April? Norman the Lunatic. Freakin’ BASTION BOOGER was one of the top men in the NWA! Hell, the singles roster was so pathetic at this point, perennial jobber The Cuban Assassin was once listed in the top 10 ratings!!

Things were so bad, and I had heard rumors and read things in PWI and stuff, but I could have sworn that WCW had planned another Clash to go up against WMVI because the last two WM/Clashes did big ratings, but because the talent was so lacking, the show was scrapped. Don’t know if it was true or not, but the fact that it COULD have been true says a lot.

So anyways, Luger was turned face because well, he kinda HAD to, and he and Flair had a great match at WrestleWar ‘90 (the prelude to SuperBrawl) but due to Horsemen interference, he lost the match.

Now we’ve moved on to May, and it’s Capital Combat time. Luger gets Flair in the cage. No DQ, no interference, anything goes. The problem was, every man, woman, and child knew NOBODY was beating Flair until Sting got back. It was just a given. So how do you draw interest in a match that’s been on four of your last eight PPVs?

You bring in Robocop.

For years, WCW took the high road. They weren’t a cartoon like the other guy. They were blood and guts wrestling. Hard-nosed grappling. And in one fell swoop, they tossed their dignity aside for a few extra PPV buys. The PPV previews barely told you what the matches are going to be. There were only two things noted: Sting and Robocop.

And that said more about the direction of WCW then anything else.

Okay, this is supposed to be a review, not a history lesson, let’s get on with it.

It’s May 19, 1990. We are in Washington D.C. Our hosts are Jim Ross and Bob Caudle.

And in case you care, here are the Capital Combat matches not good enough to be included on this tape:

-The Road Warriors & Norman beat Kevin Sullivan, Cactus Jack, and Bam Bam Bigelow in a “Weak link becomes future WWF World Champion” match

-”Mean” Mark Callous (aka Undertaker) beat former Dynamic Dude Johnny Ace in a mindboggling 11 minutes, back when Callous would actually LET someone have offense for that long.

-The Samoan Swat Team beat Mike Rotundo & Tommy Rich

-Paul Ellering beat Teddy Long in about two minutes in a “hair vs. hair” match.

Like they couldn’t have tacked on the Ellering match.

Match #1

The Midnight Express vs. Brian Pillman & Tom Zenk

You know, I badmouth WCW in 1990, but one thing they had going for them was an absolutely awesome group of tag teams. Aside from the two teams above, you had the Road Warriors, The Steiners, The Freebirds, The Samoans, The Rock ‘n’ Rolls, and of course, Doom. This match is for the U.S. straps held by Pillman & Zenk. Considering I haven’t heard different, I’m guessing Zenk got along with Pillman. Pillman’s in big-time perm mode here. Stipulations here are that Jim Cornette has to be locked in a cage during the match. And of course, Cornette won’t go. So in a totally bizarre moment, referee Randy Anderson clotheslines Cornette and Zenk and Pillman toss him in the cage.

Pillman and Eaton start with Pillman getting the better of Eaton with a dropkick. All four men come in and Pillman and Eaton get a double monkeyflip before Zenk slingshots Pillman into the Express. And the crowd is rather quiet during all this. Eaton walks over to get advice from the caged Cornette before returning to the ring. Zenk and Lane tag in and Eaton tries to double team but it backfires and Lane gets dropkicked to the floor. Pillman back in and he has his way with both Lane and Eaton. Armbar on Eaton leading to a crisp sequence ending with Eaton getting dropkicked. Zenk and Lane back in with Zenk working on the arm. Zenk atomic drops Lane into Eaton and both men bail again.

More armdrags from Zenk. Pillman comes back in with a flying sunset flip off the top rope which he screws up, but Eaton manages to save the sequence and Pillman gets two. Zenk back in with a double backdrop on Eaton. Eaton then gets backdropped to the floor, tagging Lane on the way out. Lane gets launched in and double hiptossed. The crowd again is pretty apathetic. More armbars and finally Eaton gets control when Pillman blows a bodypress and flies out to the floor. Eaton adds to the injury with a brutal neckbreaker to the floor. Eaton helps Pillman to the ring apron where Lane shoves Pillman off and onto the guardrail throat first with a NASTY thud. Lane goes to work on the throat, clotheslining im on the top rope, then clotheslining him himself before he can hit the ground. And the crowd is clearly on the Express’ side. Eaton drops an elbow for two. Sideslam turns into a backbreaker as the Express continue the onslaught. Another elbowdrop gets two. Pillman gets tossed and he eats the railing again.

Pillman comes back in with a desperation sunset flip for two. Eaton stops it and hits a flying elbowdrop for two. More domination and Pillman appears to be busted open, possibly legit, I’m not sure. Eaton gets a brutal Alabama Jam for two and five-sixths. Really, it should have been over, awesome top rope legdrop. Pillman fights back with a weakass powerslam and he makes the hot tag.

Zenk destroys both Midnighters. Like an idiot, Zenk locks on a sleeper on Lane despite Eaton being about six inches away. Eaton breaks it up almost immediately. And now all four men are in the ring. Russian legsweep on Zenk in the mayhem leads to the rocket launcher but that only gets two. Eaton crotches himself in the corner and that leads to a flying bodypress for two. Pillman stops Lane from interfering but that only allows Lane to sneak in a savate kick while the ref’s distracted. Eaton rolls up Zenk for the pin.

Very good match, but then again, I don’t think the Midnights had a bad match in 1990. ***1/4.

Gordon Solie attempts to interview Robocop but security cuts the camera before anything can transpire. Poor Solie. 40+ years of trying to sell wrestling as legit, and he gets to trash that legacy in about nine seconds.

Sting Interview

Well, it’s SUPPOSED to be a Sting interview, but the Horseman jump Sting and lock him in the Jim Cornette cage! Those SAVAGES!!! So Robocop lumbers very slowly down to the ringside area. It literally takes him a good twenty seconds to walk about 100 feet. The Horsemen beg off as Robocop pulls off the cage door and lets Sting out. The Horsemen leave. Sting I guess forgets to do an interview because he leaves too.

Make your own jokes here. Sometimes it’s just too easy. But anybody who actually PAID money to see what Robocop would do on the PPV, well, they got what they deserved.

Junkyard Dog Interview

I’m starting another tangent here as JYD makes his return to WCW. People crap all over the Black Scorpion and such, but truth be told, it garnered attention and it garnered ratings. Granted, it was an idiotic angle, but if you want to talk about REAL stupidity, here’s how things were booked post-WrestleWar:

Obviously, angles and storylines were advancing to the Great American Bash with the huge Sting/Flair payoff. Luger was no longer a factor, having had too many title shots, and not to mention, he was injured. So what does Ole do? Help build Flair into a heel monster to build attention to the Bash and destroy everyone in his path? No, due to a personal grudge against Flair, he jobs out Flair all across the country in house shows to the Junkyard Dog, a man who hadn’t been close to main event status in at least four years. And not only that, he loses fairly and convincingly. The JUNKYARD DOG. So now Flair looks stupid for getting beaten by a mid-carder, Luger looks stupid because the JYD is easily doing what he couldn’t do in three years, and Sting’s task certainly seems an awful less daunting.

Jobbing Flair to JYD would be the equivalent of jobbing HHH to Ahmed Johnson right now, and I’m talking the Big T version of Ahmed Johnson.

Jim Cornette interrupts the JYD and pretty much says what I just did: “Where have YOU been the past four years? What have you done to deserve this interview time?” Dog says he’s been busy with Cornette’s mama, and he chases him away because, well, I think he realizes that matching wits with Cornette will only hurt him.

Match #2

The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express vs. The Freebirds (Strap Match)

This is the Hayes/Garvin combination of the Freebirds here. The straps are hooked to the ringposts in this match. I don’t care for the RnRs, never have, never will. Two ugly guys masquerading as heartthrobs never really worked for me. Hayes gets in a fight with two old bald guys who redefine the word “white trash.” Security has to step in. “Freebirds suck!” chant starts. Hayes starts the offense so Gibson slaps him in the face. Garvin tags in and Morton does as well. Morton taunts Garvin’s strut. Garvin gets clotheslined and dropkicked. But Garvin responds with a backdrop and he grabs the strap. Morton tackles him though, and he gets the strap and he pops Garvin with it. Well, by pop I mean, hits awkwardly with. Hayes gets hit too and the two bail. Ross reflects on how his dad used to beat him. Yeah, this is DEFINITELY the NWA here.

Back in and Garvin gets dominated by the RnRs. Morton and Gibson switch off while the refs not looking in a rare moment where the faces cheat and the ref lets it go. Morton locks the figure-four on Garvin and Gibson does the same to Hayes. But Hayes rakes Morton’s eyes to break it up. Hayes takes control over Gibson but when he goes for the strap, Gibson grabs his own and he starts beating Hayes with it. The shots are so pathetic that Hayes even fails to sell one of them because his back is turned to it. Both Freebirds bail again.

Back in and Garvin takes control, dropping Gibson’s throat on the top rope. Garvin grinds Gibson’s face in the mat and then dumps him. Back in and Garvin whips him into the ropes but he’s too close to his corner and Morton tags in. Morton gets a quick roll-up but Garvin sends Morton into Hayes who KOs him with a left. That gets two and it’s resthold time.

Hayes tags in and drops three big elbows for two. Bulldog gets two. More restholds. Morton gets dumped and Hayes clocks him with the strap. Back in and the fans chant for the DDT. But Garvin goes to the top rope and Morton catches him and tosses him. Hayes attacks but he gets thrown to the buckle. Hard chop from Hayes and he tries another bulldog but Morton throws him off. Gibson gets the hot tag and all four men are in. Hayes DDT’s Gibson and he goes for a second one but Morton gets a top rope sunset flip for the pin. Never will you find a strap match that has less use of a strap. Okay match, not bad or anything, just didn’t do it for me.

Doug Furnas Interview

Doug Furnas was a good wrestler, but he just totally lacked charisma. And that was the kiss of death in the ‘90’s. And he was the “World’s Strongest Man” the kiss of death as a wrestling nickname.

Sting Interview

Sting remembers to talk this time. He says that Luger’s gonna win. Yeah, well, you’re the one person that thinks that Sting.

Match #3

The Steiners vs. Doom

I hated this match as a kid. The Steiners were at the time the most awesome tag team period. Between 1989 and 1992, the Steiners may have been the best tag team ever. Realistically, nobody could beat them. And that kinda hurt them as tag champs because no one was looked at as a serious threat. The Steiners were just too good. The only real team that posed a threat were The Road Warriors and both teams were faces, so that wasn’t going to happen. So what to do?

Doom debuted in October 1989 as hired thugs of Woman. She had declared war on the Steiners and used these two men in masks to do the dirty work. Problem was, the two men in masks were black, and there were only two black WCW wrestlers, so it seemed rather idiotic that they wear masks. So consider that logic, then add the fact that after beating the Steiners at Halloween Havoc, they suffered a 3 Minute Warning-like losing streak, losing to every top tag team in the company multiple times.

They lost their masks at a Clash in February 1990, and it was seen as a new beginning. Suddenly, they were holding their own against the Road Warriors. Granted, they were still losing, but they were gaining needed respect. So it was decided to make them champs, over the hot as hell Steiners.

Let’s go to the match. Long has his head covered due to losing a hair match to Paul Ellering earlier in the card, never mind the fact that Long was nearly bald to begin with. BTW, you can always tell when the Steiners are about to job, because Scott always looks a tad pissed off when he comes to the ring. And he doesn’t look too happy here.

Rick grabs Teddy’s bandana to show everybody his bald head. And as I said, it’s not like Long had much hair to begin with. He looks almost the same. After stalling of Zybszko-like proportions, the match starts. The ref tries to explain things to both teams, so Scott shoves him down and he and Simmons lock up. Scott gets two takedowns and a powerslam. Ron is quick with an eyerake and he takes control. Scott ends that with a belly-to-back. So Reed tags in.

Reed works on Scott’s arm but Scott reverses and kicks him in the face. Ross calls it a “great kick to the face” which makes me wonder what the difference is. Dropkick, backdrop, and a vicious clothesline sends Reed to the floor. “Peanut head” chant breaks out. Rick tags in and Reed takes over with stiff forearms. Steiner hits a clothesline which oddly makes him fall out of the ring. Error in communication I think. Back in, and Steiner clotheslines Reed to the floor. Steiner then slams Reed on the concrete. Scott then tosses Reed into the railing. Simmons comes in without tagging and he gets piledriven by Rick and then clotheslined to the floor. So far it’s a major asskicking, to say the least. Scott and Reed tag in with Scott getting a modified Oklahoma stampede for two. And it’s resthold time.

Reed delivers a vicious knee to Scott’s face and he gets tossed. Now Doom is finally taking control. Scott gets rammed into the steps and railing before being thrown back in. Ron Simmons is “Burt Reynolds’ favorite wrestler” according to Ross. What the hell does that mean? More abuse to Scott, an awful neckbreaker being one of those moves. Doom works on the neck, giving Scott a dose of his own medicine with a brutal clothesline for two. Scott gets piledriven and he barely sells it. Simmons tries something and Scott tries to turn it into a powerslam but both moves fail and everybody just lays on the mat. Simmons gets backdropped and Scott hits the Frankensteiner, the way it’s SUPPOSED to be done. These days a Frankensteiner is nothing more than a freakin’ cartwheel. But back in the day, the Frankensteiner was a NASTY looking move when Scott did it. You flipped and your head smashed into the mat. Scott makes the hot tag.

Rick powerslams Reed for two. All four men in and Rick gets dumped. Doom hits a flying clothesline on Scott for two, but Rick recovers and again it’s a four man brawl. Scott gets posted and while Rick tries a second rope belly-to-belly, Simmons shoves Rick off the top rope. Reed falls on Rick for the pin and the titles.

Total BS finish, I was such a huge Steiners mark. And what made me madder was that the Steiners got zero rematches. For some reason, the RnRs got all the tag shots during the summer, and the Steiners got to fight the Freebirds all summer. Good match though. Not the best Steiners match by any stretch of the imagination.

Match #4

Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger (Steel Cage)

Remember my rant about how bad the injury situation was in the NWA? Luger almost missed this match too, as he had spent a few days in the hospital prior to this match with a staph infection in his knee. Luger went ahead and wrestled because, well, there was nobody else. Of course, I guess a Scott Steiner-Ric Flair match would have ruled…..

Flair is being accompanied by Woman. The cage is of the Thunderdome variety as the cage surrounds the whole ringside area. And if that doesn’t clue you in on the ending. Man, Flair looks old here, and this was thirteen years ago. Flair and Luger have a staredown and Flair backs off. The ref wants to check Woman and Flair takes offense. He’s also offended that the cameraman’s in the ring. Ten minutes later, the match starts.

Flair starts with a VICIOUS chop that Luger no-sells. Luger pounds away at Flair, finishing with a clothesline for two. Flair gets suplexed and he bails. Oh, come on, it’s a freakin’ cage match!!! Luger press slams Flair twice. Flair bails again. You know, Woman’s in the cage too. Why is this even a cage match? Managers are allowed at ringside, you can bail to the floor, why even bother putting the cage up?

More chops from Flair, more no-selling from Luger. Flair tries to climb out of the cage, but it’s just too high. Luger gets rammed into the cage, and after that, he decides to sell Flair’s chops. Back in, and Flair works on the injured knee. Kneedrop to the face adds to the pain. Suplex on Luger and Luger no-sells it. Upside down to the apron to the top rope to the floor for Flair. Flair tries to climb out of the cage again and Flair gets rammed into the cage. He gets posted for good measure as he blades. And he blades deep as he’s a mess in about twenty seconds. Luger pounds at the wound and Flair tries to escape again. So Luger bashes him in the cage again. Flair’s glowing red at this point and Luger adds insult to injury by continuing to no-sell Flair’s offense. Luger superplexes Flair, but his knee buckles on him, and he acts like he’s about to die. So either Luger no-sells or he oversells. Flair works on the knee, and he eventually locks on the figure-four. Flair grabs the ropes for leverage.

Suddenly the Horsemen come down to ringside to cheer Flair on. And Barry Windham is missing in the group. That gives Luger a chance to recover and he batters Flair. Luger gets a clothesline for two, and the Horsemen are livid. Suddenly Sting comes out and attacks the Horsemen. Why? There’s three of them. What sense does that make? So the Horsemen assault Sting and El Gigante makes the save. He does the vicious shove move that I guess that the Briscos taught him and that makes the Horsemen leave.

Oh yeah, there’s a match going on. Luger gets Flair in the torture rack, but suddenly the cage lifts up, Barry Windham sneaks in, and he attacks Luger for the DQ. Yep, gotta love cage matches that end in DQ. So now Arn Anderson gets in the cage too. And the cage gets lowered as Luger gets triple-teamed. Sting comes back, but the cage has been lowered and after what happened to him on February 6, he’s not about to go climbing up a cage again. Eventually the cage gets lifted and Sting makes the save. Shockingly, Robocop stayed out of this one. I guess he thought El Gigante could take care of things. Flair celebrates his loss with Schiavonne. Boy, do I love PPV Main events that end in screwjob. Sting attacks Flair in the aisle.

End of tape.

Not a bad show to be honest. The main event leaves a bad taste obviously, and the Doom title win is pretty good as is the Midnights match.

But come on, we all know the only reason you’re gonna watch this is for the Robocop segment, and while, yeah, it’s REALLY bad, it’s short, and hell, you can even tell the announcers aren’t too proud of what they are seeing either.

Gotta say, the good outweighs the bad on this one, only because the really bad is really funny.

Thumb slightly up, recommended, B.

-Sydney Brown