Dunn’s Countdown to Summerslam: Summerslam ’97

Summerslam ’97

Live from East Rutherford, NJ.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Opening Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna) vs. Mankind.
Chyna is still a manly man here. This is the transformation from Mankind to Dude Love which they had been building to. Helmsley was a talentless snob from Greenwich who was undeserving of his push…uh…anyhoooo. I like Mankind’s old music. Hunter wisely tries to dart out. He really is the smartest man in the WWE. It doesn’t work, though. Both of these guys were super-sellers at this point in their careers and busted ass to get each other over. Mankind claws at him and piledrives him into the canvass. Mick goes for the claw but Chyna interferes and hangs Mankind from the cage. Mick makes the comeback and is going over the top for the easy win when Chyna climbs up and punches him right in the Snow. Little Foley humor there. Hunter suplexes him off the top and goes out for the easy win…except… he decides to inflict more punishment. Now, that’s just stupid. Just win the match and the go back like Owen did. The cage takes a sick bump into Foley’s skull. Poor cage. It was retired shortly after. Helmsley tries to Pedigree him on the chair but Mick counters it and slingshots him right into Chyna. Mankind gets the Kobashi driver into the chair. Mankind goes over the top but decides to go back up in honor of Jimmy Snuka and drops the elbow off the top of the cage. “Shades of Jimmy Snuka and the Magnificent Muraco!” Mankind escapes at 16:25 before Chyna can pull Helmsley’s carcass out of the ring. I remember liking this a lot more in my “Bloodbath” DVD review. ***

Christie Todd-Whitman sucks up Todd Pettigill and vice versa, and we get a shot of Tiger Jeet Singh and his son Tiger Ali Singh. For some odd reason, the WWF thought signing Ali would be a good idea even though his father was a notorious waste of space.

Loser Wears a Dress: Goldust (w/Marlena) vs. Brian Pillman.
This is probably one of the saddest matches in the history of Summerslam. Pillman was an AWESOME wrestler who partnered with Steve Austin in WCW to form the great Hollywood Blonds. Both of them signed with the WWF around the same time, and Pillman was actually seen as the hot property, being signed to the WWF’s first guaranteed contract. This pissed off, of all people, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who was still three years away from meaning anything. Hunter would go on to rip Pillman for not “earning” his spot (keep in mind that Pillman had been wresting for five years before Helmsley’s debut). Hunter wouldn’t have to worry, because Pillman would never fully recover from outside-the-ring injuries, and his drug problems would overshadow his WWF tenure. I bring this up not to rip on Triple H’s politicking, or as a cautionary tale of drug use damaging a promising career but mainly because I don’t want to recap the match. Quite literally nothing of import happens until Golddust gets the worst sunset flip in the history of sunset flips, and Marlena tags Pillman with her purse, enabling Goldie to pick up the win in at 7:14 in the worst match in Summerslam history. O

The Godwinns vs. The Legion of Doom.
For all intents and purposes, this is the last meaningful appearance of the LOD, which is really sad because they were involved in tag title feuds for the next year or so. Hawk was just about to that point between where “his drinking is a problem” and “HE is a problem.” The Godwinns were actually getting better in the ring and would go on to have what I consider a pretty cool gimmick in “Southern Justice,” Jeff Jarrett’s personal security force. Anyway, this isn’t as bad as you’d think. The LOD accidentally broke the Hogfather’s neck, so there’s a bit of an issue. Animal plays face-in-peril to the Godwinn’s hillbilly-gone-bad offense. He fights out of a bearhug and gets the hot tag to Hawk. Hawk hits about a dozen clotheslines, and the LOD finish with a spiked piledriver on Henry’s injured neck. (9:51). **

Million Dollar Draw time. Todd Pettingill dials a number, but it’s been disconnected. Two big deals here. 1) Sunny’s outfit lifts and separates so much it would make Lita envious. 2) Sunny and Sable are on the same stage at the same time and do not claw each other’s eyes out. I don’t care what’s happened to her in recent years, Sunny > cure for cancer.

Dogfood Match: The British Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock.
If Bulldog loses, he has to eat a can of dogfood (apparently until 1999 when they gave him his job back). Shamrock was still adjusting to the pro-style, so he basically just goes out there and throws all the stuff he *can* do at Bulldog and lets Davey Boy take over from there. Shamrock takes a big beating until he “snaps” (which was his gimmick) and destroys Bulldog and the ref for the DQ at 7:28. Shamrock chokes Bulldog out and has to be pulled off by the officials, then he destroys the officials. This turned Shamrock into a total badass who was not to be screwed with and made him one of the bigger stars of 1998. *1/2

Shawn Michaels promises not to take sides in the main event tonight.

8-Man Tag: Los Boriquas vs. The Disciples of the Apocalypse.
This is one of the most convoluted feuds Vince Russo ever came up with, and that’s saying something. Savio Vega and Crush (Brian Adams) were both members of the Nation of Domination. They both eventually fell out of favor with Farooq and went off their own ways by forming their own gangs. Crush recruited Brian “Fake Undertaker” Lee as “Chainz” and the former Blu Twins (Ron & Don Harris) as “Skull” and “8-Ball.” Savio brought in Jorge Estrada, Miguel Perez and…the other guy no one can remember. Oh, Jesus. No, that’s his name. Jesus. HAY•soos. The Nation walks down to ringside because they were feuding with both teams. This is all just a bunch of brawling, which isn’t bad in and of itself, but it’s the same thing for nine straight minutes. Chainz gets knocked to the floor and finds Ahmed, so he gives him a cheapshot. He must’ve thought it was white boy day. It ain’t white boy day, is it? WRONG MOVE! Ahmed give Chainz the Plunge and tosses him back in so Perez can get the pin at 9:06. *

Intercontinental Title: Owen Hart vs. Steve Austin.
Owen pinned Austin at Canadian Stampede and let everyone know about it as often as possible to set up this match. Owen jumps Austin immediately and clips his knee. Austin comes back immediately and kicks Owen’s ass all over the ring. Owen tries to flip out of a wristlock, so Austin pokes him in the eye. Austin gets the hammerlock slam. They head to the outside and Owen stomps on Austin’s hands. Hand psychology! I like it. Owen ties him up in the ropes and bites the fingers. Austin counters a huracanrana to a powerbomb and clotheslines Owen over the top. Owen wants a timeout and takes a walk. Austin chases him down and drags him back to the ring. Owen hits his BEAUTIFUL belly-to-belly suplex. An Owen elbow drop gets two and Owen goes to work on Austin’s neck. JR mentions Austin has a history of neck problems. And a future. Owen kicks away from a Sharpshooter and clotheslines Austin down. Austin rolls through a crossbody for a nearfall. Owen delivers a German Suplex out of nowhere. ONE, TWO, THR–NOOO!!! Owen settles it down with the Camel Clutch. Austin fights out of it but takes a DDT for two. They exchange sleepers and Austin comes out of it with a jawbreaker. The match slows down again with a chinlock, but Owen uses the time to tease the crowd by using the rope for leverage. Austin jumps him from behind as he argues with the ref. Austin goes for a Tombstone, but Owen reverses to his own and paralyzes Austin. Owen stalls for time, jawing with the crowd until Austin can crawl over and deliver one of the worst schoolboy rollups in the history of wrestling. (16:14). Austin was on an incredible hot streak coming into this match, and it continued up until the piledriver. ***3/4

WWF Championship: The Undertaker vs. Bret Hart.
Shawn Michaels is the special referee as a result of all the tension he had with Bret during the summer of 1997. The stipulation is that if Bret touches Shawn, he can’t wrestle in Canada. If Shawn favors the Undertaker, he can’t wrestle in the U.S. ever again. Bret takes the belt and jumps Taker from behind with it. Taker turns the tables and rams Bret into the ringpost. Back in, Taker follows it up with a backbreaker and a stretch across the knee. A bearhug follows. Taker hits him with a big boot but misses a second attempt. Bret stomps away at the leg and dives into it like he owns it. A figure-four does even more damage as Paul Bearer waddles down to ringside tell us that Kane is coming. Taker reverses the figure-four, but Bret is in the ropes. Now it is the Undertaker’s turn to slam Bret’s knee into the mat. He goes out after Bearer, allowing Bret to clip his knee from behind. Shawn Michaels sends Bearer to the back as Bret applies the ringpost figure-four. Shawn makes him break the hold, prompting the two to get in each other’s faces. Brian Pillman and Owen Hart come down to watch. Back in the ring, Bret uses a leglock to work Taker’s knee even further. Taker elbows out of it and goes after the Hart Foundation. Shawn sends them to the back as Bret runs right into a CHOKESLAM! Taker covers, but Shawn is busy making sure Pillman and Owen are gone. That leads to a confrontation between Shawn and the Taker. Bret schoolboys him for two. To the outside, Bret rams him into the ringpost. Back in again, Bret gets a backbreaker for two. The vertical suplex sets up an elbowdrop off the middle-rope. Taker finally hotshots him into the turnbuckle out of desperation. Bret stays on top with a Russian Legsweep and goes for the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to counter. Bret charges into another chokeslam, but he counters with a kick to the knee. I can’t remember the last match the Taker’s had where he’s had someone with this mastery of psychology. He comes back with a Flying Clothesline and decides to start ignoring the legwork by hitting a big boot and legdrop. Yes, I know he was working the other leg, but try hitting your knee with a hammer as hard as you can and see how easy it is to use the other one. Taker chokeslams Bret from the apron to the middle of the ring, but it only gets two. Taker tries the Ropewalk Forearm, but Bret crotches him and counters to a superplex. Both men are out of it. Bret recovers first and locks in the Sharpshooter. Taker powers out of it, tossing Bret all the way to the floor. Back in, Bret slips out of the Tombstone and locks in a Sharpshooter around the ringpost. Taker forces out again, shoving Bret into Shawn. Bret gets a chair and LEVELS the Undertaker with it. ONE, TWO, THRE–NO! Shawn sees the chair and interrogates Bret about it. Bret spits on Shawn, and that’s the final straw. Shawn swings wildly, but Bret ducks and Shawn winds up taking out the Undertaker. Bret quickly covers, and Shawn is forced to count the pin and give Bret the title at 28:09. Bret would go on to retain in the rematch, and Undertaker would get very, VERY upset with Shawn. ***3/4

The 411: It was headed into "worst PPV ever" territory until the final two matches. The WWF was trying hard to get things going during the summer of '97, but it would take another year before they started to win the war with WCW. Too much mediocre crap in the early matches is a big part of the reason why. Oddly enough, Austin's injury would turn him into more of a talker for the next few months, and he would get even *more* over with the fans. Plus, it led to the anti-authoritarian character that made all that money against Vince McMahon. Mild thumbs up for historical reasons and for Foley, Hart, Austin & Undertaker.

Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]