wrestling / TV Reports
Hall’s Impact Wrestling Review 5.11.23
Image Credit: Impact Wrestling
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Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt
We are inching closer to Under Siege and the World Title situation is looking interesting. PCO is scheduled to challenge Steve Maclin for the title and that is not exactly sitting well with the champ. Other than that, we have some matches rapidly being set, with Trinity possibly being added to the card. Let’s get to it.
Opening recap.
Opening sequence.
Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly
Kelly crawls around to start and rolls a kicking Slamovich up for two. Back up and Kelly knocks her to the floor without much trouble, setting up the running kick to the chest. Some clotheslines drop Slamovich again, followed by a delayed release fisherman’s suplex for two. Slamovich runs her over and rips at Kelly’s face for a bit.
We hit the reverse chinlock but Kelly powers up and sends her into the corner for the break. Some Al Snow trapping headbutts set up a suplex into the corner, followed by a German suplex for two. Slamovich kicks her in the ribs for her own two, setting up a sunset driver for another near fall. Kelly shrugs it off and hits a Death Valley Driver, setting up the Killer Klutch. Slamovich is up with a rope walk and flips back onto Kelly for the pin at 8:42.
Rating: C+. Good stuff here, as Kelly continues to impress. Slamovich needed the win more here though, as she has fallen mostly through the floor in recent months. The talent is there, but at some point you have to win something. The same is true for Kelly, though she has never had the big opportunities that Slamovich has already earned. Nice opener here, and a change of pace from the usual fast paced starts to the show.
Kenny King gives Sheldon Jean a pep talk before his match.
We look back at Trinity’s debut last week.
Trinity wants the Knockouts Title and has an open contract for Under Siege. Jai Vidal comes in and grabs a quick photo, much to Trinity’s confusion.
Nick Aldis vs. Sheldon Jean
Kenny King is on commentary. Aldis headlocks him down a few times but it’s too early for the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf. They head outside with King offering a distraction so Jean can get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and a side kick gives Jean two but Aldis fights up without much trouble. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Jean but he catches Aldis on top. With that broken up, Aldis drops the top rope elbow and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is good for the tap at 3:30.
Rating: C. Jean is decent enough to be one of the new designated jobbers whose name we know, though that might not have the longest shelf life. This was of course all about Aldis though, who looked fine in his return. That being said, at some point he is going to have to show that he can be more interesting and that has been an issue for him for years.
Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry are talking about who attacked Santino Marella when Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in. Hendry and the two goons accuse each other, setting up Swinger vs. Dango. Well, after they call Santino to make it official. With the villains gone, Dango invites Hendry to his birthday party, where Hendry would be the only guest. Ok then.
We get part three of the Frankie Kazarian interviews, this time talking about his return and quest to become World Champion. Last year he won the X-Division Title again and used Option C but came up short again, though the World Title is still a goal. We talk about the various things he has done, many of which had nothing to do with the title. He is willing to fight anyone around, and now he’s the veteran, which is a spot that he loves to have. This really didn’t tell us much, but getting to know wrestlers a bit more like this is a great idea and that has been the case here.
Decay vs. Good Hands
The Hands introduce themselves and mock the Chicago Cubs like good villains should. Skyler and Steve start things off, with Steve taking him down for a neck crank. Taurus comes in for a modified What’s Up, followed by the running hurricanrana. Steve’s monkey flip is broken up though and a cheap shot (Tom: “Steve was blindsided!” The guy is legally blind so that’s not nice.) lets Hotch take him down again.
Steve’s double finger bite doesn’t work and it’s a belly to back suplex to cut him off. Steve Downward Spirals his way out of trouble, allowing the hot tag to Taurus. With Brian Myers coming out to watch, Taurus cleans house and everything breaks down. Steve dives onto Skyler but gets dropped by Myers. A Stunner over the ropes staggers Taurus into a middle rope G9 (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) for the pin at 5:09.
Rating: C+. Kind of a slow match but Myers hooking up with the Good Hands is a better move than having them work for Bully Ray, so they did something smart. Decay losing is a little weird, but it’s a fine enough way to establish the new unit. The Good Hands are, well, good hands, so there should be a place for them for awhile.
Post match Myers poses with the Good Hands.
Flashback Moment of the Week: Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. Beautiful People to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.
Steve Maclin is sick of Champagne Singh and Shera screwing up so he fires both of them. Singh and Shera have an idea.
Post break, Singh and Shera jump Heath.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin
Maclin is defending and we get the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. They hit the stall button for a bit to start before trading arm control. Rhino powers him into the corner and Maclin has to stop for a breather. Some chops into a hiptoss look to set up the Gore but Maclin bails to the floor. That’s fine with Rhino, who crotches him on the barricade, only for a Stunner over the top to cut Rhino off.
Back in and Maclin goes after the leg, with some rams into the apron to make it worse. The middle rope headbutt misses for Maclin though and the slugout is on. Maclin is taken up top for a superplex and a near fall, leaving both of them down. Another Gore is loaded up but Maclin cuts out the leg again in a smart move. Maclin hits his own Gore for the pin to retain at 9:00.
Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but Maclin gets a nice defense under his belt before he has to move on to PCO. Working on the leg was a good enough way to keep the match going and Maclin using the Gore was an even better touch. Maclin might not be the most interesting champion, but he had a perfectly fine title defense here.
Post match Maclin goes after the knee again and takes it out with a chair. Maclin isn’t done though as he wraps the chair around the leg and smashes it with a shovel. That’s FINALLY enough to draw out referees to break it up.
During the break, Rhino was taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with Scott D’Amore there to watch. Maclin pops up and gets in a shouting match with D’Amore, who makes the Under Siege match against PCO No DQ. PCO appeared for the brawl and Maclin ran off.
Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He was talking to Michael Jordan, who gave him some advice, but Hendry is the expert on wrestling. Hendry is here to hear them say WE BELIEVE and then introduces Dirty Dango.
Dirty Dango vs. Johnny Swinger
Joe Hendry and Zicky Dice are here too. Dango slugs away to start but gets choked on the rope for his efforts. Swinger stops to strut though, allowing Dango to block a stomp to the chest. A Falcon Arrow finishes Swinger at 1:16.
The Design is still mad at Sami Callihan and promises more suffering. The Army Of Violence comes in but Sami is there in disguise and chaos ensues. Much like this horrible story.
Moose isn’t sure what Brian Myers is up to with the Good Hands but doesn’t seem to like the idea. With Moose gone, Myers says he wants the Hands to become a team, so he’ll mold them into champions.
Here’s what’s coming on various shows.
Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Deonna Purrazzo/Jordynne Grace vs. The Coven
The Coven is defending. Purrazzo and King trade waistlocks to start before Purrazzo’s running hurricanrana takes her down. An armdrag into an armbar has King down and it’s off to Grace for a double hiptoss. An assisted moonsault gets two on King but Grace gets sent into the corner for an elbow to the face.
Grace elbows her way out of trouble but the Grace Driver is blocked. The Vader Bomb connects instead and we take a break with King in trouble. Back with Purrazzo kicking and dodging her way out of the corner, only to get dropped hard onto the apron. The slow beating continues, with Wilde choking in the corner and on the rope. Purrazzo fights out of the front facelock and kicks her way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Grace.
House is quickly cleaned until we settle down to Grace jumping over Wilde in the corner. Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two, with King making the save. Everything breaks down again and Grace is sent into Purrazzo by mistake, allowing Wilde to get two. With Purrazzo down, a Hart Attack (pump kick instead of clothesline) finishes Grace to retain at 14:29.
Rating: B-. The extra time helped here and the Coven continues to grow into a more respectable team. They already feel like the best team in Impact but given the rather shallow competition, that still leaves them with a lot to cover. For now though, beating two singles stars and keeping the Knockouts Title feud going is a good use of fifteen minutes in the main event.
Post match the Coven goes after Grace but Trinity runs in for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.
Results
Masha Slamovich b. Killer Kelly – Rollup
Nick Aldis b. Sheldon Jean – King’s Lynn Cloverleaf
Good Hands b. Decay – Samoan drop/middle rope Blockbuster combination to Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Gore
Dirty Dango b. Johnny Swinger – Falcon Arrow
The Coven b. Jordynne Grace/Deonna Purrazzo – Pump kick/spinebuster combination to Grace
