Hall’s Impact Wrestling Review 8.24.23

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 24, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and other than some good matches, there wasn’t much taking place. Now we are on the way to Emergence and it means we need to firm up a lot of the card. The good thing is that most of the card seems to be set up and now we get to hammer home everything else. Let’s get to it.

We open with PCO coming to the ring to beat up Shera and Raj Singh, who had apparently talked trash on Before The Impact. The destruction doesn’t take long, including a Deanimator to put Singh through a table. Bully Ray pops up on the screen to say that he’s not leaving his hotel room, meaning PCO can’t find him. Ray says he’s the biggest star ever around here and PCO is going to learn that Ray is the one to take him out.

Opening sequence.

Trinity vs. Jody Threat

Non-title and threat takes her down into a quickly broken armbar to start. Trinity’s headlock doesn’t work either as Threat sends her hard into the corner for some clotheslines. Back up and Threat wins a slugout, only to have Trinity come back with her bulldog into the corner. It’s Threat’s chance for a comeback with a spear, followed by running knees to the back. Threat gets two off a Michinoku Driver but the F5 is countered into an X Factor to give Trinity two of her own. Something like a Bubba Bomb into a rollup finishes Threat at 5:32.

Rating: C. Trinity wasn’t about to lose on the way towards such a huge title defense so this was more about keeping her even with Deonna Purrazzo after last week. Trinity has established herself as one of the stars of the division and that is nice to see after being away from the ring for so long. Not a bad match, but it kind of came and went.

Jake Something is ready for Sanada at Emergence.

In Memory Of Terry Funk. They had to wait twenty minutes for that?

Multiverse United recap.

Josh Alexander was back in the ring for the first time in five months at Multiverse United and now he wants the World Title back. First though, he has Emergence, but he’ll be watching tonight’s World Title match.

Deaner vs. Laredo Kid

Kon is here with Deaner, who grabs a headlock to start. Kid takes it out to the floor but gets yelled at by Kon, allowing Deaner to hit a clothesline. Back in and Deaner twists the neck before sending said neck into the corner for two. A neckbreaker gets two and Deaner shouts that no one cares about Kid. I uh, wouldn’t talk much man. Deaner misses a charge in the corner and Kid gets two off a driver. Kid goes up top but dives down onto Kon (who hadn’t even done anything) instead. Back in and the Antidote finishes Kid at 4:24.

Rating: C. The action was fine but as usual, it’s almost impossible to care about Deaner’s lame….well existence really. He’s been the same “I’m crazy and evil” guy for months and it still isn’t interesting. Kid could have been anyone here and that’s a shame given how good he really has been almost every time he’s here.

Post match Deaner says that Eric Young tried to start this and it earned him a knife in the heart. Then Young decided to rise again (which apparently is something he can just do) but he doesn’t realize that Deaner is in control because HE IS THE DESIGN. Deaner: “YOU! ME! NO DQ!” Well that’s anticlimactic.

We get a video that looks like it’s from 1999 (complete with pop ups, featuring a variety of wrestling name drops) about how Johnny Swinger is ready for the Digital Media title. As usual, this was rather funny.

PCO looks for Bully Ray and screams a lot.

ABC vs. Good Hands

Before the match, John Skyler talks about how they don’t like being called Good Hands For Hire and insults Chicago a lot. Austin hammer and headlocks Skyler to start until an elbow to the face breaks that up. Hotch comes in and gets knocked away without much trouble. Bey comes in and takes Hotch down for two as things settle a bit. A kick to the back has Hotch in more trouble and we take a break.

Back with Austin cutting off Hotch to block a tag attempt but getting sent into the post for his efforts. A double elbow gets two on Austin and it’s time to work on the arm that went into the post. Skyler ties the arm up in between his own legs or some cranking. Austin’s legs are fine enough to kick his way out of trouble though and it’s back to Bey to take them both down.

A slingshot DDT gets two on Skyler and everything breaks down. Austin’s bad arm is snapped over the top and the Favor (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) gets two with Bey making the save. A springboard Fameasser drops Skyler again and the 1-2-Sweet finishes Hotch at 14:01.

Rating: B. This is one of the places where Impact really shines. You had two talented teams who have an issue with each other. They were given almost fifteen minutes and had a clean match with the good guys winning. It’s a great example of not making things too complicated and letting the wrestlers do their things. Very nice match here.

Subculture is ready for the Rascalz.

We get what sounds like a movie trailer for Joe Hendry and Yuya Uemura’s tag match on the Countdown to Emergence.

Video on Trinity vs. Deonna Purrazzo, including their issues with the Coven.

Samuray del Sol vs. Chris Sabin

The fans do the LUCHA dance to start and the two (the wrestlers, not the fans, as there are more than two of them) of them take time to get going. Sabin gets sent outside and then gets sent outside again, allowing Sol to flip backwards into some posing. Back in and Sabin runs him over for a change before starting in on the leg.

Sol misses an enziguri and gets pulled into an STF, sending him straight to the ropes. Sabin ties the leg up again but lets go as it’s not exactly getting him anywhere. We take a break and come back with Sabin working on something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Sabin ties up the legs and cranks on both arms at the same time as he’s mixing up the holds tonight.

Sol is back up with a crossbody but the Salida del Sol is blocked. Sabin powerbombs him for two and rolls straight into an STF in the middle of the ring. That’s escaped as well and Sol pops up with the Salida del Sol to send Sabin outside. The springboard flip dive connects but Sol’s leg gives out back inside. That’s enough for the Cradle Shock to give Sabin the pin at 17:38.

Rating: B. Remember how the previous match was two wrestlers having a good match? What’s what they did again here and it worked, again. Sabin can wrestle with anyone and Sol showed what he could do multiple times in WWE. I could go with having him around more often and he probably earned a job here if he wants one.

We get the last part of the sitdown interview with Crazzy Steve. He talks about how Tom Rehwoldt is the best at what he does and Steve needs him to help carry his message. Steve talks about how he isn’t crazy but he’s tired of being abandoned and forgotten. If he can’t be the antidote to evil, then maybe he needs to be the plague. Tom says Steve is hurting his hand as Steve goes on about how cruelty is the causal blindness to the pain of others.

Steve says Tom is going to help him tell the people something but Tom calls in security to break it up. Steve breaks up the set and shouts TELL THEM. Steve takes down a member of security and seems to spray mist on him and shouts TELL THEM again. He grabs the camera and says he’s comfortable being evil and the psychopath in the story, but remember the chapter where you f****** made him. It takes a lot to make me interested in something from a longstanding middle of the road star like Crazzy Steve and they have done it in the last three weeks. Nicely done.

MK Ultra, in a mix of English and Russian, say they’re not scared of their first title defense because the more teams coming after them, the more toys to play with. Or maybe more control and pain. Chains are included.

Video on Eddie Edwards vs. Frankie Kazarian, with both o their wives getting involved. We also see the door to the Killer Kowalski School Of Professional Wrestling door closing. That could be interesting.

Emergence rundown.

PCO goes to Bully Ray’s hotel but can’t find him. Why he only looked in the lobby isn’t clear but it might explain the failure.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Brian Myers vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Myers takes him into the corner to start and slaps Shelley in the face, earning himself a rollup to give Shelley two. Shelley starts cranking on the arm and has Myers wincing quite a bit. Myers is sent to the apron and they fall outside, with Shelley being sent into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Shelley fighting out of a chinlock. Myers misses a charge into the post and Shelley gets a needed breather. Shelley knocks him down again and it’s a Downward Spiral into the buckle. The Border City Stretch goes on but Myers slips out and hits the implant DDT. Myers gets two more off a spear but Shelley kicks him in the face and hits Sliced Bread #2. The kickout sends Myers right back into the Border City Stretch though and Shelley retains at 14:32.

Rating: B. I kept waiting on something screwy to happen but instead they went with the clean ending again. As usual, there’s no shame in losing to the World Champion and Myers looked good in defeat. That’s about all you can ask for out of something like this and the fact that it was another good match made things even better.

Post match Moose and Bully Ray run in for the beatdown but Kushida and Josh Alexander make the save. We cut to the back where Lio Rush has jumped Chris Sabin. The good guys fight back and the brawl continues to end the show.

 

Results
Trinity b. Jody Threat – Rollup
Deaner b. Laredo Kid – Antidote
ABC b. Good Hands – 1-2-Sweet to Hotch
Chris Sabin b. Samuray del Sol – Cradle Shock
Alex Shelley b. Brian Myers – Border City Stretch

 

 

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9.0

The final score: review Amazing

The 411

Maybe it’s that I’m so used to having other wrestling shows be full of interference and shenanigans, but my goodness it was SO refreshing to have a show with clean wrestling and storylines being advanced. This is the definition of a show that doesn’t overthink things and let the talented wrestlers showcase themselves. Awesome show here and a good example of why I have so much fun with this show a lot of the time.