Jeremy’s AEW Rampage Review 5.13.22

What’s up, AEW fam? It’s Friday afternoon and AEW is airing ridiculously early because of the NHL, so that means it’s about time for the show. That also means that you’re getting me, Jeremy Thomas, once again and I can’t wait until these damn playoffs are over. Regardless, we have four matches on tap including the latest quarterfinal in the women’s Owen Hart Foundation Tournament, as Riho battles Ruby Soho. Plus, Scorpio Sky will defend the TNT Championship against Frankie Kazarian while Death Triangle take on The Butcher, The Blade, & Marq Quen. And finally, Shawn Spears will face off with Bear Boulder. Not a bad card all in all, and we’ll have a lot to get into so let’s jump to it.

As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.

* THIS IS RAMPAGE, BABY! (aka Theme Song)

Death Triangle vs. The Butcher, The Blade & Marq Quen

Penta starts off against The Blade and shoves him, only to get smacked. The Blade comes off the ropes into a superkick and does a leapfrog, only to get kicked in the head. PAC in, snapmare and a dropkick to the crotch by Penta! The Blade fires back with a knee to the gut and throws him into the corner, but he knocks the Butcher down and kicks Blade, but Butcher pulls him outside and drops him onto the apron.

Butcher in now and mocks Penta before picking up PAC, who fires off with a kick and goes under the legs for another kick. Basement dropkick takes out the knee and a missile dropkick takes Butcher down, causing him to bail.

He gets back in and Quen tags in, charging right into a hiptoss. Fenix tagged in but he gets tripped by Quen, Fenix avoids a standing moonsault but gets caught with a rana. Kick to the chets, leaping kick and he counters getting boosted into the air with a dropkick! Quen goes for a powerbomb but taunts Penta and gets lifted into a slam. Fenix with kicks to Quen, he comes off the ropes with an armdrag and takes out the Blade. Quen whips Fenix into the ropes, he spins through the ropes to counter and gets dropkicked to the outside as we go to PIP break.

Back from break with Blade in control of Fenix, who tries to get to the corner but Butcher and Quen knock Death Triangle off the apron and Butcher with a legdrop on Fenix. 450 by Quen, cover and Penta breaks it up. Penta sent to the outside, Quen leaps onto Penta and PAC, combo knee and clothesline by Butcher and Blade for a nearfall.

Blade with chops to Fenix, a suplex but Fenix with a knee at the height and he comes off the ropes with a somersault jawbreaker. Fenix sent into the ropes and spins out for a shot to Blade as Kyle O’Reilly takes notes from the crowd. Penta and Quen in, Penta is in hot and Sling Blades Quen. Thurst kick to Butcher, he flips over Quen into a spike DDT on Butcher, who is sent out. PAC in now, he lays in the kicks and sends Quen up to crash down. German suplex, he bridges but Quen’s feet are in the ropes. Butcher and Blade hold PAC, Penta and Fenix take them out, release German suplex on PAC. Penta in now, Fear Factor! Penta and Fenix with the double dive on the outside, Black Arrow and it’s over.

Winner: Death Triangle (10:15)
Rating: *** 1/2
Thoughts: Very good match to start off the show. Everyone delivered crisply and there’s nothing I can complain about at all.

After the match the lights go out and when they come back the House of Black are on the apron. They go out again and when they come back, they’re gone.

Shawn Spears vs. Bear Boulder

Spears taunts Boulder for a laugh, and gets grabbed by the throat for a Gorilla press slam but he slips out. Spears goes for a crossbody, gets caught, Bear with a bodyslam. Bear charges in but Spears moves, Spears climbs up for elevated punches. He refuses to get to ten, but Bear grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner for a splash. Boulder climbs up top but gets a thumb to the eye, Spears puts Bear on his shoulder and hits a DVD for the pin.

Winner: Shawn Spears (2:04)
Rating: N/A
Thoughts: RIP Bear Boulder.

After the match, Spears grabs a chair and nails Bear in the back a couple of times before telling Wardlow through the camera that the Giant Killer is coming.

* Tony Nese and Mark Sterling are asked about their match against HOOKhausen, and Sterling says that’s not happening because he’s a lawyer and not a wrestler and doesn’t have tights. Sterling says it’s not happening, but Nese says it’s fine because he destroyed Danhausen in record time. And HOOK wants to destroy his homecoming? Nese says he can beat them both himself, and tells Sterling to put $10,000 on them.

Women’s Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Quarterfinal Match
Riho vs. Ruby Soho

Soho and Riho shake hands and then lock up, Soho pushed into a corner and Riho backs up for the break. Soho with a waistlock into a wristlock, Riho flips through and they do some back-and-forth counterwrestling. Riho sends Soho into the ropes but gets run over, cover for one and Riho rolls Soho up for two.

Boot to the gut by Soho, snapmare and a kick right to the back. Soho off the ropes, Riho ducks the kick, she goes for a Northern lights suplex but Soho counters, a few reversals ending with a rana and a roll-through off the ropes into a stomp. Riho charges in for a forearrm in the corner, she charges and eats a back elbow, then drives Riho into face-first into the second turnbuckle for a two-count.

Leap off the top by Soho, Riho moves and Soho tweaks the knee. Riho with a few shots but Soho with a headbutt. Soho goes for the No Future, blocked and Riho locks in a back bridging single-leg crab. Soho gets to the ropes as we go to PIP break.

We’re back and Riho hits a Northern Lights suplex, cover for two. Riho up top but Soho cuts her off with a shot to the throat, she climbs up and they trade shots. Soho with a headbutt, Riho hits her own and knocks Soho off the top, diving crossbody reversed into a pin by Soho for two. Soho goes for the Blade Runner but Riho counters into a crucifix bomb for a nearfall!

Riho looking frustrated, she charges at Soho and gets caught with an upkick. Backdrop Driver, cover for a nearfall — Soho with a BIG superkick right away for another two-plus count. BLADE RUNNER again, cover for three.

Winner: Ruby Soho (9:07)
Rating: ***
Thoughts: Very nice work by both women. The selling of the tweaked knee was a wee but off, but otherwise this was great work.

* The Gunn Club and Acclaimed are together, and Billy Gunn says they could be one of the greatest factions of all time and need things. He says a hand gesture and his kids wanna to a crotch-chop. The Acclaimed have a scissors handphrase. Austin suggests “We got two words for–” but Billy says that will never get over. Caster suggests, “Yo, listen!” and Billy likes it. Billy says he used his pull and got them a match on Elevation. They are VERY excited about it.

* Tony Schiavone is in the ring and introduces Jade Cargill. The TBS Champion comes on out with Red Velvet and Kiera Hogan, making their way to the ring with Sterling walking along with crutches behind.

Jade tells Tony to cut the s**t and tells the cameramen to do their job and capture the Baddies in the audience. Tony says that Shida is not able to face Red Velvet due to an injury in the Philly Street Fight. Jade thinks that’s great news and Sterling says that Red Velvet should win by forfeit. Tony says that’s not the case, and Velvet’s opponent is one of her longtime friends — KRIS STATLANDER! Statlander comes out and Jade is laughing. Velvet is a little less amused.

* Mark Henry is there for the split-screen interview with Sky and Kazarian, and asks if Sky is ready. Ethan Page interrupts and says it’s wild that they’re even defending. Sky says he’s keeping his word and Dan asks why. Kazarian doesn’t get why Page and Dan are answering and says they’ve been winning championships before Men of the Year. Sky tells Page and Lambert to take the night off.

* Breakdown of next week’s matches for Dynamite, Rampage, and Double or Nothing from Excalibur speaking like he’s being played at 1.5 speed and ate 200 Pixie Sticks.

TNT Championship Match
Scorpio Sky vs. Frankie Kazarian

Kazarian and Sky give a show of respect and go into a lockup, eventually breaking it. Another lockup, Kazarian with the fireman’s carry into a top wristlock, reversed by Sky. Sky reverses it back and gets sent into the ropes where he runs Sky over and covers for two. Sky with a waistlock, reversed by Kaz, Kaz gets backed off and they co into some counterwrestling, hiptoss and an armbar attempt by Kazarian, Sky rolls Kaz up for two but Kaz goes right back to the short arm scissor.

It breaks, Sky goes for a TKO off the ropes, Kaz slips out for the crossface chickenwing attempt. They come off the ropes and collide in the ring. Both men up, Sky sends Kaz into the ropes with a kick to the gut, Russian legsweep blocked, Kaz goes for a suplex blocked by Sky, hammers across the back and a suplex. Kaz runs at Sky, who dodges and sends Kaz to the outside before diving on him! We’re on PIP break.

Back as Sky nails Kaz in the corner and whips him across the ring, charging into an elbow. Kaz to the apron, dodges a headbutt through the ropes, legdrop! He lays into Sky in the ring, sends him into the ropes but Sky with a kick. Kaz comes back and takes Sky down, he comes off the ropes for a legdrop but Sky catches him on his shoulder. He goes for a TKO but Kaz counters into a roll-up, takes Sky out and hits the sprinboard legdrop for two!

Kaz goes for the crossface chickenwing but Sky with a jawbreaker to counter. He charges at Kaz in the corner, sent to the apron, Kaz with a kick but Sky ducks — KAZ WITH A SLINGSHOT CUTTER! Cover for two! Kaz goes for the crossface chickenwing again but gets snampared, he keeps on it and locks it in! Sky tries to escape off the corner to no avail.

HERE COMES LAMBERT! He distracts the referee and Page runs in to nail Sky with the belt. Pinfall but it’s only a two-count, Sky didn’t even notice. Sky with a TKO! Cover for three.

Winner: Scorpio Sky (11:40)
Rating: *** 3/4
Thoughts: That was two great competitors who know each other incredibly well delivering a great TV main event. The expected interference happened, but it didn’t take anything away from a hell of a bout.

After the match, Kazarian tells Sky what happened and Sky questions Lambert. He shoves Page, who acknowledges he did it for the team and asks whose team Sky is on. Sky and Page go forehead to forehead — and Sky nails Kaz with the belt! Page and Sky beat on Kaz and Guevara hits the ring to run them off.

And with that, we’re done for the night!

8.5

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

What more can you really ask from AEW Rampage? We had two really great matches, one very good one, and a squash match that did its job in building more heat for Spears as a Giant Killer. There wasn't a bad moment in this show for me, to be honest. It was just a very good hour of wrestling.