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We are starting hot with the Tag Team Battle Royal. A bulk of the teams are already circling the ring. Out come the champions in street and Jurassic clothes.

Match 1: Tag Team Battle Royale

I never know how to recap these damned things. Shit goes buck wild. The first elimination is Reynolds by Blade, but Silver is there to eliminate Blade. Silver gets clocked by both the left and right cheek of the Ass Boys. ASSHOLE chant. Santnaa and Ortiz grab them and start layin in some shots while Kyle O’Reilly and Fish attack 2point0. Ortiz eliminates Austin Gunn and Santana is there to toss his brother out. 2Point0 attack Santna in the corner. Butcher murders both Bucks then ReDragon. Trent chops Butcher as Private Party works on FTR. Trent nearly gets eliminated, but Trent is there to hug and hold him, saving him and eliminating Butcher in the process. Private Party is eliminated, even after Matt Hardy shows fforts to save them.

2Point0 flapjack Silver onto the ropes as Matt Hardy walks out on Private Party. Santana runs up on 2Point) and eliminates both. The Young Bucks superkick Ortiz off the apron, then superkick the moonsaulting Santana. BIG RIG TO JOHN SILVER!!!

FTR and Young Bucks go face to face, but Fish and KOR attack FTR! Bucks are lovin the team work.

We are left with Best Friends, FTR, Young Bucks, and ReDragon…oh, and John Silver. Haha.

Bulldog from Nick to Trent, KOR and Dax are on the apron. Dax rolls into the ring, so does KOR, makin this sentence pointless to even bring up.FTR corners Fish then goes to work on KOR. FTR lifts KOR to eliminate, but Nick saves him! FTR sends Nick over the top rope in retaliation! Matt looks over to FTR, upset, but Santana attacks him. ReDragon double team Tren with an assisted German. Trent gets tossed over, hangs onto the ropes, ORANGE CASSIDY IS UNDER THE RING!!! He helps Trent back into the ring!! KOR hops up with a front face lock but Trent back suplexes him. Tornado DDT to Fish! Trent sends Fish over the top and eliminates him!!! Dax tries to send Trent over the top rope!!

Back from a break, and it looks like only Chuck is gone? Tully tries to help Cash eliminate Silver, but it backfires and Silver is able to send Cash to the outside. Cash is pissed. Every member in the ring is a member of a different team.

We got Santana, KOR, Dax and Trent, and Matt and Silver. Silver with a kick in the corner and a German. Silver with double knees to the back of the neck! KOR runs up with some kicks and knees, leg swep, Dax misses a right, KOR misses a kick, Dax locks his head and hits a DDT!!! Trent with a dropkick! Santana and Trent meet in the middle of the ring, and they bring up the parking lot brawl. The crowd remembers, and so do we!!! They go at it with right hands!!! Santana misses a right, underhook and a half and half suplex from Trent! He hits the ropes. Lariat fom Santana!! Trent up! BIG BOOT TO TRENT!!! He lands on the apron, brings Santana to the apron. They go for suplexes, neither getting the better of each other. Elbow, double kick, Matt and KOR shove them off!!!

Matt, KOR, Dax, and Silver!

Dax and KOR are at it in one corner. Silver and Matt in the opposite. Dax with a hard chop, KOR with some kicks ot the chest. Dax works the left arm, hammer lock into a back suplex! Silver with the head scissors, KOR takes Dax over the top rope, boh men on the apron now. KOR locks up the arm and leans back, holding onto the ropes! Dax escapes, hits a right, right from KOR. Kick, chop from Da, kick from KOR, right forearm, another. A hardr right. Another. Dax keeps layin them in. KOR with a kick to the chin!!!! Chop to KOR! Forearms to the face! They are kicking each other’s asses!!! FISH RUNS UP TO TRIP DAX OFF THE APRON!!!!!!

KOR rolls into the ring. It’s him and Matt to double team Silver! Kick to Silver. They grab the head of Silver, SILVER WITH A SUPLEX TO BOTh!!! Clothesline to KOR, one for Matt, whip to the ropes, back body drop!!!! Drop toe hold to Matt!! Silver runs with a punt kick to the back!!! Torture Rack slam!!!!! He grabs KOR! Lifts…SUPERKICK FROM MATT!!! KOR grabs Sivler, superkick with a suplex!!!

KOR locks the head, but his arm is hurt!!! Matt sends Silver over the top rope for Kyle! KYLE IS FAKING IT!! HE TOSSES MATT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!

Winners: ReDragon
The first ten minutes really didn’t matter, but they utilized the gimmick really well, with the final six members being one of each of a team, giving a feel of anyone can win. It’s almost as if they actively want Battle Royals to be different than what we are used to, and I’m here for it.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 18:21

Matt and Nick enter the ring. They are PISSED.

HANGMAN IS HERE!!! He attacks Fish! He attacks KOR! Bucks stand there watching. Fish and Kyle roll out of the ring. Nick and Matt leave. They want nothing to do with this.

ADAM COLE IS HERE!! He tries for a Superkick! But Page catches it! Page beats down Adam!!! Buks leave!!! Hangman goes for Bukshot, but ReDragon pulls Cole out of the ring. SILVER IS ON THE APRON!! He dives with a cannonball to both men!!! Silver rolls KOR into the ring, Page with a Buckshot!!!!!

Hangman wants some story time. He wants to talk about 2008, when a smug little prick named Adam Cole entered pro wrestling. He became a World Champion everywhere. He could see the writing on the wall, his world crumbling, he ran back to his old friends and decided to come for the most precious prize in pro wrestling. He kept his eye on the prize as he walked towards it. He is getting closer and closer to a six foot hole in the ground, and come Revolution, when he thought he’d leave as a champion, he’ll take one step too close to the grave and the better Adam laid him in it. The world listened to the sound of his body hitting the dirt, from a freshly cocked buckshot, and that sound was BOOM!

Bryan is backstage and wants to talk Daniel Garcia. He reminds Bryan a lot of him. Bryan had a mentor like William Regal, though, and Daniel is hanging with 2Point0. He will show Garcia the different level he could be at.

Speaking of Jon Moxley, they need to bleed together? He’ll give his answer after the match with Garcia.

MJF is here, and he’s all business. He cuts his music early. He gets it. He used to love CM Punk, too. He gets that we want to boo him, but he wants an opportunity here. He brings up the picture from last week, and how Punk said it was just another Friday, but for MJF, it wasn’t. At one point in his life, the only reason he got out of bed was because of professional wrestling. He loves AEW. In 2007, he was 11 years old with a bunch of learning disabilities. He has severe ADD. Every day was hell. The one thing he was good at was football. One of only two Jewish kids that tried out. He tries to get a pop for being Jewish. He actually started as a middle linebacker. For once, he thought he fit in. Next day, he’s walking the hallway, sees his teammates walk up to him, and he thinks he’s going to make friends – they look angry. They throw quarters at MJF and tell him, “Pick em up, Jew Boy!” He went home and cried and cried, but realized it’s Friday, and that means tonight he will see his hero. CM Punk.

That day meant everything to him, and when he went back home, he promised he’d be just like his hero. He, this 5 foot nothing ADD-riddled Jew Boy was going to become the best in the world.

Fast forward to 12/2013. He is stronger, faster, football scholarships, but he doesn’t care, because all he wants to be is like his hero, a pro wrestler. He is studying tape, watching matches until his eyes bleed, practicing promos in the mirror until his voice is hoarse, all because he wants to be just like CM Punk. January 2014, CM Punk leaves him when he needed him the most, when he believed in him. Punk left all of us. That’s when he realized that if the Best in the World couldn’t do it, how could he. So he went to college and quit on his dreams, burying his happiness until one day, he’s in his dorm room, and there is an account called The Wrestling Classic, and there’s a pic of Bryan Danielson, shaking hands with CM Punk. Punk, the same guy that left him when he needed him the most. He was pissed. He made a promise to himself that day, he would become the best in the world in spite of CM Punk. A promise that any kid getting bullied had him to watch and he wouldn’t leave that kid high and dry. March 6, Punk can make him bleed buckets, but he won’t quit, because if he quit, he’d be no better than Punk, and we all know that’s not the case, because he is MJF, and he is better than Punk, and Punk knows it.

OH SHIT WE AINT DONE!!!

CM PUNK IS HERE!!!

He hops up on the apron and stares down MJF. He looks angry, confused. He enters the ring. MJF stands, a bit coy, Punk wonders if this is true. Is it true? Is this real, he asks? MJF, “yes, it’s true.” MJF IS CRYING!!!! Holy shit!

BACKSTAGE, Parker, Lee, and Garcia are here. The are upset. They walked in together. No one gives a rat’s ass what it would be like if Bryan and Mox are their mentors. Garcia says he was molded by violence, and tonight he’ll be teaching the lessons.

To the ring, where the lights go out. Brody and Malakai have new music, and after Pac makes his entrance, we get Dark Penta aka Penta Oscuro with Abrahantes lookin like The Grim Reaper from Bill & Ted. Alex is in full garb, Penta comes out in red and black, with fog machines and a bad ass entrance music. I’m lovin this.

The bell doestn ring, but Penta superkicks Black to the outside, kicks Brody off the apron, then flies off the top rope onto both men. Penta sends Black into the ring and ref calls for the bell.

Match 2: Brody King and Malakai Black vs Pac and Penta Obscuro
Pac with a 450 off the top rope!! Geez! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! pac corners Black, Penta in the ring as well, they work the arm. Looks like Penta got the tag. Kicks to the legs. Black kicks Penta away, lcoks the head, Penta stops a tag, tags Pac in, Pac kicks high. Another kick to the head.

We are back from a break and Pac and Brody are in the ring. Brody calls Penta in the ring, He lifts Pac onto the shoulders of Penta, chops the shit out of Pac, causing him to freakin rana Penta! WTF! Lol. Tope Suicida to Pac and Black!!! Black enters the ring where Black I waitin on the top rope! He dives off with double knees!! German! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Black sends Penta to the outside. Tag to Brody. Brody locks the hips, Pac kicks out, Black goes for a knee, Pac ducks and Black hits Brody!!! Blind tag from Penta! Brody with alariat to Pac! Penta off the top with a crossbody!!! All four men down!

Knox gets to 7 and Black is the first one up. He grabs Penta, Pac on the apron, Brody calls for Penta, he’s on the shoulder, looking for Dante’s Inferno. Pac pulls Penta off! Chop to Penta! Kick form Pac to Brody!!! Brody hits the ropes, Pac hits another kick to the face. Brody sends Pac to the corner. He misses a splash, GERMAN FROM PAC!! Black got a tag. Superkick from Pac and Penta! Penta wants Fear Factor.

Black enters the ring, spins Penta! He wants the mist, but Penta covers his mouth!!! The mist leaks out of Black’s mouth! Penta with a surprise rollup! 1..2….3!!!

Winners: Penta Obscuro and Pac
This was on the shorter side simply to get to what happens after, and what happens after was just….fun. Quality wise, the dark side of Penta was cool. Man, I’m havin fun.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:30

Brody attcks!! He body slams Pac ONTO Penta!!! Black is stirring, choking on his own mist, Brody attacks pEnta from behind, right after right to his chest. He hits some weak punches. Pac tries to save him but eats a right. Black grabs Alex on the outside!! He’s got the shovel!!! Black grabs water and rinses his mist out of his mouth, choking. Love that.

Brody slams Penta down with a slam. Black enters with the shovel. He puts it to the neck of Penta. Lifts the shovel.

LIGHTS OUT!!

BUDDY FUCKING MATTHEWS IS HERE!!!!! Black is on the floor! He tells Buddy to back away! Buddy saunters over towards Pac. He stand sin front of him, then circles in front of Penta! Penta is seated in the corner. Brody seems confused as well. Buddy with a knee to Pac!!! He attacks Penta in the corner as Black laughs over and over!!!! Brody leaves the ring, runs up the ramp1 He murders a security guard, another, another! Jesus. Buddy is attacking Penta ove and over. Black grabs Buddy, tosses him off Penta. Brody drags a security guard out of the ring. Brody grabs a chair and sends it into the ring. Black moves Buddy out of his way. Black grabs the chair as the crowd chants for Buddy.

Black grabs the beard of Buddy. Black yells to HONOR IT! Buddy puts the boot to the back of the head and drives his head into the chair face first!

Thunder and Britt video package.

EDDIE KINGSTON IS HERE!!!

Jericho is out next.

Security is in the ring, and Eddie wants to know if we are done massaging Jericho’s ego. Eddie wants to know what’s up with the security.

Jericho arranged for it because he wants to talk to each other like men, not fight each other like street thugs. Eddie takes offense, saying Jericho doesn’t even know what that means. He wants a second, because he has no clue why they’re doing this. He is not a sports-entertainer, he’d rather just fight. This is a wrestling company, go down the block, Jericho.

Jericho says since they are so close to Stamford, he’ll give us a little sports-entertainment, but this will actually entertain. He has a story about Eddie Kingston. When Jericho first heard about Eddie coming, everyone was excited. Jericho thought to himself, “Who the hell is that?” Jericho is aware of the indies, but he’s never heard of Kingston before. He thought maybe they were talking about Eddie Edwards, then he saw Kingston and realied why he never heard of him before – he looks like a jobber.

But wait, then he saw the match against “what’s his name,” and heard his promo, and realized he may not have heard of him, but Eddie is good, he’s got what it takes, and Jericho told him that a few days later. He told him it wouldn’t be long before he became a big babyface, because people will love him. And he was right?

“What’s a babyface?” – Eddie Kingston

Lol.

Jericho says it was such a feel-good story of Eddie overcoming his issues, and he finally signed a contract and made it to the big time…at the age of 38. Everyone was so happy; Eddie deserves it, they’re excited. But Jericho didn’t give two shits about the story or Eddie, and he’ll tell Eddie why – Eddie is jealous of Jericho. He didn’t make it to the top till he was 38, but Jericho did it at 22. By the time he was 38, Jericho had toured the world and made millions. Eddie is jealous.

Kind of a weak stance, but ok.

Jericho says Eddie doesn’t believe he can achieve what Jericho has, and doesn’t think he could ever be at Jericho’s level.

Eddie says first off, what does he want? Want a cookie for all he’s done? Eddie doesn’t care. He’s only gotten to where he was because Eddie wasn’t there. Eddie doesn’t leach of people. He aint like the rest of the carnies that lie and talk to the promoters. He tells the promoter to F off because he’ll do things his way and he’ll be him till he dies. Hee’s gotta look at himself in the mirror. Eddie doesn’t wanna talk, Jericho is just sucking the blood out of him, and his blood is too thick for that. He may o it to the young guys, but not him. He’d rather do things on his own. Eddie wants to fight. How bout it? Eddie v Jericho at Revolution.

Jericho will answer, but wants to ask a question first. Ever heard of Acheivemaphobia? It’s the fear of success, and that’s Eddie to a T. He is terrified to make it to the top, to the level that Jericho lives, because if he did, he’d fall off the other side. Eddie considers his destiny to be a failure. He knows the history. His first hero was his uncle, and he was a failure.

Eddie drops the mic.

Jericho brings up Eddie’s father being a failure. Deep down inside, Eddie thinks he’s a failure as well. Jericho has seen guys like him come and go, and he cant win the big one. IN this company, Jericho is the big one. HIM! Not Moxley, Punk, Page, CHRIS JERICHO! You want the match, he’s got it. But like he said, Eddie cant win the big one, but he’ll say this – if Kingston can beat Jericho, Jericho will look him in the eye, shake his hand, and tell Eddie that he has his utmost respect, because that will mean Jericho helped Eddie get over the one thing holding him back.

Eddie laughs, gives Jericho a warning,don’t give Jericho that did the mimosa match, don’t give him the Jericho that got pushed off a cage, give him the first World Champion Jericho, the Jericho that bled buckets in Tennessee. The Jericho that turned WCW upside down. The Jericho that his close friend Lavesque hated. If Jericho doesn’t, Kingston will eat him alive.

Jericho will give him that Jericho and so much more. He can see it in Eddie’s eyes. He doesn’t believe he can beat Jericho or win the big one, and his opinion of himself is the same that Jericho has – Eddie is a loser, and always will be.

Jericho asks for his music, and leaves as Eddie struggles with the thought.

Match 3: Ricky Starks vs 10
Lockup, but 10 is too strong! Starks tries for a side headlock, hits the ropes, shoulder tackle from 10. Starks back up, hops over, hits an elbo to the back of the head. Another, whip to the ropes, reversed, tackle gets nothing, Starks tries for a right hand, hits the ropes, and hits another shoulder, this time dropping him. 10 corners Starks, hits some right hands, getting to 8, Kick from Starks, off the ropes for a tornado DDT, but 10 stops him, delayed suplex. Drops him!

Back from a break, and 10 has a Full Nelson! Starks rushes the corner, breaks the hold, clothesline from 10!!! He goes for another Full Nelson!

Starks grabs the head, tries to rip the mask off!11 10 lets go! SPEAR!!!

Winner: Ricky Starks
Good win for Ricky.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:54

Backstage, Cole, Fish, and KOR are here to celebrate. In comes The Young Bucks. They call this a double-cross. KOR says he blacked out. Lol. The Bucks are even more motivated now. They’re going to win next week and beat their asses at the PPV. Bucks leave.

Cole yells at them, says for the Love of God, they need to get along. They’re a team. He has too much on his plate to deal with this.

Match 4: Jade Cargill vs Bunny
Girls go face to face, then back up and lockup! Jade gets Bunny against the ropes. Jade shoves the face. Another lockup. Jade corners Bunny, Bunny reverses. Ref hits 3 and Bunny shoves Jade’s face this time. Big Boot from Jade. Jade works the left arm, lifts Bunny on it, and oooo lordy, she drops Bunny. Leg drop onto the arm. Jade does some pushups while having the arm locked up with her legs. Jade rolls into a hammer lock from behind, then stands. Bunny runs, sending Jade to the apron. Bunny ducks a right, hangs Jde up on the ropes, dropping her to a seated position. Running elbow to the back of Jade’s head. Side Russian Leg Sweep on the outside into the barricade!

We are back and jade hits a back elbow. She gets Bunny on her shoulders, Bunny rakes the eyes. Kick from Bunny. She hits the ropes, running knee lfiit .Bunny runs again, but Jade catches her and hits a Spinebuster!!! Matt Hardy is on the apron! He tosses brass knucks into the ring, but freakin Sterling tosses in the title! Hahaha. Nice. Bunny grabs the knucks, Jade hits the swinging right hand with the title. Aubrey sends Matt to the backstage area! Sterling is next!!

Jade seesm concerned. Bunny rolls her up. 1..2….NO!!!!! SUPERKICK TO JADE!!! Anoher!!! She locks the head of Jade, tries for her finisher, but Jade

Winner: Jade Cargill
Ok, Jade, this wasn’t too bad. Still lookin chroegraphed from time to time, but damned if she ain’t learning
Total Rating: **
Match Time:6:45

Jade gets the mic from Tony. She is 38-0. Who is next? Better yet, who’s left?

Here comes….TAY CONTI! She says bitch. So there’s that. Tay and Jade kinda go at it, but Bunny enters the ring to attack Tay. Tay hits the TayKO to Bunny, and Jade hits a huge kick to the face.

Eh, that last bit wasn’t necessary, really.

Keith Lee is here to talk about the ladder match, but here comes Starks to mock his voice and tell him they don’t care where he came from, stay in his lane, and mind his Ps and Qs. Hahahahaa. LOVE STARKS!

Hobbs walks up to Lee, but Starks says they’re going to take their time and save this for Revolution.

Match 5: Bryan Danielson vs David Garcia
I come just a bit late to this match, about the time Bryan is asking Garcia to show him this violence he knows and loves. Daniel chops him hard. Bryan wants aother one. He picks the ankle. Bryan mounts and punches left and right. Butterfly suplex into an arm lock but Garcia rolls through, Bryan tries for a LaBell Lock, but Garcia escapes, only for a second though! Bryan gets the hold!!! Rope break and Bryan kicks the arm. Garcia up. Uppercut from Bryan. Whip to the ropes, reversed and Bryan hops off the top rope, hits the ropes, ducks, but Garcia attacks the legs!!

We are back and both men have their hands linked. Tthey give each other harsh shoulders back and forth. Bryran with a right. Garcia returns, Garcia goes for a dragon screw, but Daniel freaking drops his weight and stops it!!!! He stomps Garcia’s head in then locks a triangle and Garcia taps!!

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Total Rating:
Match Time:

Bryan cuts his music, tells Garcia this was exactly what he wanted to see. Was Garcia violent enough, he asks.

2Point0 attack Bryan from behind! They go two on one, but herrreeee commmeeesss MOXLEYYYYY!!!!

Moxley comes out from the crowd, enters the ring quick, and 2Point0 goes for the attack! Moxley sends Lee then Parker over the top rope! Garcia goes to swing the chair across Moxley’s back, but Bryan grabs the chair from him! Moxley turns! Paradigm Shift!!!

Bryan is left with a chair, as Moxley circles the ring. Bryan grabs a mic and tells Moxley he accepts the match at Revolution but don’t be surprised if Moxley is the only one left bleeding.

End Show