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Join 411’s Live AEW Dynamite Coverage
Image Credit: AEW
I’ll do my best not to disparage Monday Night in this report, but suffice to say, the days of my disdain for Mondays may very well be making its return!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
WHAT A WEEK!!! Lets KEEP IT GOIN!
Ricky Starks is here to play! He’s ready to beat some Juicy booty!
As Ricky awaits Juice Robinson, Jay White runs down to attack while Juice Robinson attacks from behind!!!! After some ass kicker, Jay White hits the Blade Runner! He and Juice celebrate as Ricky is laid out.
Backstage, Tony asks Chris Jericho why he came out last week. Jericho has nothing bad to say about Cole. It’s always nice to see someone return from injury. Cole got the win, got the girl, got the streamers, then it keeps going on and on and on. Meanwhile, Daniel Garcia, one of his right hand men, one of the greatest talents, is lying in the ring as Cole celebrates. Cole punked Garcia out, made him look like a piece of trash. He had to stop the disrespect.
Keith Lee walks by to talk about disrespect. He calls Jericho the poster child of disrespect. He has had some wars with Cole, and although he doesn’t like him, he has respect for him. As for Jericho, maybe he teaches him a thing or two about respect next week.
Lee leaves, then Jericho.
Sure.
AEW Trios Championship Match
The Best Friends vs House of Black
Malakai and Trent to start. They trade some wrasslin moves before Black rolls into a quick pin for 1. Trent stands, Black attacks the mid, they trade some hard rights. Knee from Black. Whip to the corner, Trent just stops and turns, kicks, then corners Black. Whip t othe corner, Trent flies over, locks up behind, Black rolls around the back and rolls up for 1..NO! Trent with the double knees down onto Black! Trent chops then tags in Chuck! They corner Black, whip, Black hits a knee to the face, dropkicks Chuck, corners him then tags in Brody. Brody chops, kick, tries for a seated senton, but Chuck rolls under, kicks, tag to Buddy, head scissors to Chuck, Chuck reverses, tag to OC.
OC takes his glasses off and tosses them to Buddy! He ducks under a few rights, waist lock, switch, another, OC tries for a DDT, it’s blocked! Buddy with a snake eyes into the corner! Tag to Brody. Brody sends Chuck and Trent o the apron. Chop to OC. Another attack to Chuck and Trent. Buddy in. BFs in! All 6 in, OC with a right to Buddy! Thy all fight until they end up outside. OC on the top rope! He dives! Buddy and Black catch him! They send him face first into the apron!
Trent is in the ring, he dives over! Black and Buddy catch HIM! They slam him on the apron, then toss him into a right hand from Brody.
WE ARE BACK! Brody is in the ring with OC. Brody dives, OC moves, and Brody falls to the outside onto his brothers in black! Trent and Chuck launch Orange over the top rope onto all three of them, then THEY HUG! OC rolls Black into the ring, and we get a double chokeslam/powerbomb combo to Black. Cover from OC for 1..2.NO!!! He looks for the Orange Punch, but buddy in to hit a huge knee. Boss Man Slam from Brody! Brainbuster from Black!!!! OC in! Tries for a punch! Black whips his kick, OC ducks. Orange barks at Black! Again!
DEVESTATING ORANGE KICKS!!!
STUNDOG MILLIONAIRE! Trent off the top with a dropkick! Tries for a suplex, Black with a knee, Trent with a clothesline. PILEDRIVER FROM TRENT! Buddy flies off! Trent catches him! PILEDRIVER! Here comes Brody! Kick! Trent tries cuz he’s psycho! Brody attacks the back, nkee from Chuck. ORANGE PUNCH!!!!! PILEEEEEDRIIIIVVVEERRRRRRR!!! Cover for 1………..2…….NO!!!! Black lifts Trent by the boot, in comes Orange! ORANGE PUNCH!!! Brody in to send OC out! Chuck with a schoolboy for ..2.NO!!!!
Pumphandle from Buddy, into a rollup from Chuck! SOUL Fo—NO!!! Buddy blocks! Hits the ropes! STOMP!!!! COVER!!!! 1….2….3!!!
Winners: House of Black
That was tons of fun. This felt like a championship match, as the sense of urgency from all of them, and I’d argue that everyone got ample time to shine. Just when I thought they were really trying to showcase Trent, they give the ball to Chuck, then Brody, then Buddy, amplified by the finish and win! Nicely done.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 11:40
Christian Cage is shown walking backstage into a door full of red light. A creature walks out of the light. It’s Luchasaurus!
AEW Women’s Championship Match
Riho vs Jamie Hayter
Jamie offers a hand shake then pulls Riho in for a Haterade, but Riho counters and ducks under. Ripcord misses from Jamie, Riho hits the ropes, rana to Jamie, hits the ropes, another rana into a pin for 1…2..NO!!! Reversal. They trade some pins. Elbow to Riho. Jamie hits the ropes, tackle, hits the ropes, antoher tackle, hits the ropes, a third. The fourth tackle sees Jamie pin but Riho bridges out and hits a dropkick. Jamie rolls to the outside. Riho heads to the top rope! She flies with a crossbody!!! Riho sends Jamie into the ring. Riho hops to the apron. To the top. Jamie hits her with a right. Riho flies, Jamie catches her. To the shoulders. Gutbuster! Cover for 1…2..N!O!!! Riho locks up behind, switch, Jamie shoves Riho to the ropes, kick from Riho, Jamie to the apron, Riho shoots in and Jamie kicks the side of her head. Jamie locks up, tries for a brainbuster, but Riho locks the hips. Jamie with some elbows, a right, Riho with a right, Jamie catches her and hits her with a Rock Bottom to the apron!
We are BACK! Riho kicks Jamie’s face in for fun then heads to the top for a diving crossbody! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Riho locks the hips, tries for Northern Lights, but Hayter attacks the back. Suplex attempt, Riho flies behind her. GERMAN! Another huge one! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Riho tries for a stomp, rolls through, Hayter grabs her, A driver onto the knee! Jamie hits the ropes, running lariat and a cover! 1…2…NO!!!! Jamie sits Riho on the top rope, rights to the chest. Jamie climbs. Locks the head. Superplex, holds on, Jamie tries for a brainbuster, but Riho with a HUGE DDT!!! Jamie with a big right, cover! 1..2..NO!!!! Riho kicks out at 2.98! Jamie lifts Riho, sits her on top, captures the head and pulls Riho by it! She attacks the chest. Turns. Jumps high up. Riho with some rights. She sits up and Riho locks in a sleeper! Elbows from Jamie! Riho to the apron. Jamie grabs the hair. She pulls Riho up but Riho hits a right, another, headbutt to Jamie. Riho hops to the top rope, jumps, rana!!! Runninm knees to Jamie’s face! Cover! 1..2……BOOT ON THE ROPE!!!! Boot from Jamie! Tries for Hayterade, Riho switches, backslide attempt, Jamie stops it, turns, HUGE CLOTHESLINE! Cover! 1..2…N O!!!! J
amie is pissed. She grabs Riho, ripcord, HAYTERADE! Cover for 1…2….3!!!
Winner: Jamie Hayter
Good win for Jamie, and great match from both!
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 12:05
Jamie shows some love to Riho real quick before holding her title up proudly.
We are backstage with Renee and The Outcasts. They all clap for Jamie. Ruby Soho tells Jamie not to get too comfortable. They’re going to take the title. Renee points out that there is three of them, not one. Saraya says they will cross that bridge when they get to it. Toni Storm says all that matters is that Jamie is no longer champion.
We head to the top of the ramp to find out what makes Matt Menards nipples hard. Apparently, it is The Acclaimed joining JAS.
Here they come!
Max has some bars saying Jericho is full of more shit than George Santos and accuses Matt Menard of being higher than Cocaine Bear.
Angelo Parker cuts their intro short. He wants some clarification. He says it sounds like they want to fight…..together! So he got them 4 a match this Friday. He then asks to be scissored.
Billy Gunn says hell no. Scissoring should only be done by professionals, so Anthony and he will show them how it’s done.
They then proceed to show us all how it is, indeed, done.
MJF received the key to his city, and got some mad love in a video package.
We come back live where a whole ass band is jazzin it up. This is his intro, it appears, cuz here comes the champion! There’s a mic stand, and he heads to it.
He says when it rains, it doesn’t simply rain water in LI, it rains…Pennies from Heaven.
This leads into MJF’s rendition of “Pennies From Heaven.”
Skibbibbityboopbeeskiiskeppstkeppst daddy o
Louis Prima, eat your heart out baby!
MJF makes his way to the ring as the band keeps it goin.
Joseph Salidino, the Supervisor of the Town, is here to say that LI is proud. He is the World Champ and hometown champ. He wants to present the key to Long Island.
Apparently the original key wasn’t cool enough, so Joe went all the way to Nidavellir and forged a new one!
MJF finally gets his own mic time, says he deserves this, yes, but some certainly don’t. Some like Darby, Sammy, and definitely Jungle Boy. He says Jungle Boy’s girl has a wandering eye, and he has a small dick.
He has a story to tell us. He says when he was a kid, and still today, he’s got ADD.
We get an ADD chant.
Yes, I said that.
He says no matter how hard he would try to focus, it wouldn’t happen. One teacher, in 8th Grade, he had an unsympathetic teacher named Mrs. Benedict. She says she would wait for him to lose focus, then make him answer a question on th board. He’d tell her daily he did not know the answer. She would laugh at him, then say, “See class; don’t be like Mr. Freidman.”
MJF says on the last day of school, the teach pulled him aside and asked where his brain went when he isn’t paying attention. The answer was simple: Professional Wrestling. Benedict told him the probability of him being a wrestler was slim to none. Her math was off though. Because he just got the key to Long Island, and he is the reigning and defending AEW World Heavyweight Champion.
Don’t be like Mrs. Benedict. Don’t be a stupid bitch.
He tells any Long Island kid that is struggling, know that if you bust your ass, you can be anything you want to be…except MJF.
MJF grabs his belt, and the mic, and heads back up the ramp.
He asks if we’d like to hear an encore. The cymbal dude hits his mark a bit early. MJF admonishes him, saying they practiced this. He apologizes to the crowd. The cymbal dude turns out to be Jungle Boy and he attacks MJF to a chorus of boos. MJF reverses and gets massive cheers. They turn again and the crowd is happy. Agents and refs come out to break them apart until the music of Sammy hits.
Sammy Guevara comes out, the title is on the floor in front of him. He grabs it, holds it up, and MJF is pissed.
Sammy Guevara vs Kommander
Sammy hits Kommander with a knee while he tries to remove his jacket. They go in and out of the ring oppositely until Sammy hits a springboard shooting star off the top! Nice. He rolls Kommander into the ring, to the top rope, flies, and we get a superkick from Kommander! Kommander to the top rope! He walks the ropes, bounces off with a Shooting Star! Kommander to the top rope AGAIN, run theropes, dives off, and Sammy is waiting for him with a kick on the outside!!
We come back to Sammy getting his ass covered for a 1.2..NO!! Sammy rolls outside. Kommander to the top rope again. He walks all the way across the rope, floats in th air with a flip onto Sammy! He rolls Sammy inside, hops to the apron, To the top AGAIN! He walks and tries for t he shooting tar, lands on his feet, Sammy to the apron, big kick from Kommander. He hits the ropes, flies through the ropes, back springboard Phoenix Splash! Kommander to the top rope. He stands tall, finds his balance, walks them, ANOTHER Shooting star but Sammy has the knees uP! Rollup for 1..2..NO!! Torture Rack, GTH attempt, Kommander rolls through. 1..2..NO!!! Superkick to Kommander! Sammy to the apron, Kommander with a kick. He walks away, to the adjacent corner.
Darby is shown watching in the rafters.
Kommander walks the ropes again, but Sammy launches into a CUTTER!!! GTH! Cover 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Sammy Guevara
Kommander’s gotta put a little more actual wrestling in between the top rope moves, otherwise he’ll get old real fast.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:13
Tony is in the ring with Sammy, he grabs the mic. He says he just did something the World Champ doesn’t do – wrestle. What was that shit he just watched? American Idol?
STFU chant from the crowd. Lol.
MJF beat every single one of them, right? But what happened when he and MJF got in the ring. 2021, he had him beat. Spears and a steel chair beat Sammy, not Max. So if they are the four pillars since day one, it’s safe to say MJF’s side was not built by him, but by the people he tricked to get here. Sammy would hate who he was if he wasn’t himself getting to the top.
MJF was Cody’s friend, Tony’s friend, Inner Circle, Pinnacle, Firm, MJF sold his soul to be a pillar here. He has put his heart and soul into this place. He will not let some rich bitch from shitty Long Island tear everything down with his bidding war of 2024. Screw Jungle Boy, Darby Allin, and MJF.
Maybe not the best place for this promo to be cut.
FTW Championship Match
Hook vs Ethan Page
I missed the opening seconds, but when it unfreezes, Page is sending Hook into the steps, then the ringpost. Hook gets him back in the ring, hits a Twist of Fate! Kassidy gets on the apron to distract. Matt has the FTW title.
Page goes to grab it, but Matt clocks Page with the title!!!! He turns, Hook locks in Redrum! He’s out! He’s out cold! Game over.
Winner: Hook
Good for Hook
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
Tony Khan is standing by with Nigel McGuinness.
Khan says five years ago, AEW gave birth. Now, they make their debut in London, England. All-IN. Sunday, August 27.
Where?
We go to Adam Cole to announce Wembley Stadium as the site for All In.
Blackpool Combat Club is here for some action.
Daniel Bryan says he was at home with his family. He loves his family. He also loves Moxley, Claudio, and Yuta. He also loves professional wrestling. Those that he’s been seeing, though, are a bunch of amateurs. Impotent amateurs As he looks around, he thinks the four of Them are the only professional wrestlers in the building.
Hangman Adam Page runs down, but he gets jumped immediately. Bryan calls him an amateur on the mic while he gets his ass beat lol. Damn.
Bryan tells Page Claudio is a professional, while Claudio beats his ass. Jon bites him, Yuta hops on and beats him down a bit. He loves them. But nobody loves Page. Nobody! They don’t even know what love is. He knows, though. He’s been at home, he’s been teaching his kids a few things.
Bryan pulls out a screwdriver. He drives it into the forehead of Page while BCC walks around.
Bryan says Hangman is an amateur. They are the only real professional wrestlers in the building, in AEW, and considering this week, they are the only real professional wrestlers in the whole damn country.
The Gunn Club come out to 50 Cent’s “Many Men.” Lol
Damn.
AEW Tag Team Championship Match
FTR vs The Gunn Club
Cash and Colten to start. LOCKUP! Cash corners Colten, hits him with a hard right. Another one. Side headlock To the ropes. Colten drops with a tackle, another tackle. Tag to Cash, he is in with a trip and a pin. 1..2.NO!! Gunns end up outside. Cash get s tag, baseball slide to both. He tosses Cotlen in, Austin grabs the boot. Dropkick from Colten! Olten locks the head, tags in Austin. They double team Cash, ending with a clothesline. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Cash is cornered, we get some boots from Austin. Colten chokes Cash up as the ref is distracted. Right hands from Cash. Uppercuts. Tries for a tag, but Colt stops him. Whip to the. Corner, high splash. Full Nelson from behind into a slam.
We are got Dax being held down by Austin, but Cash flies off the top rope! They lock the head of Colten and hit a doubleteam DDT. Dax tries for a piledriver, back body drop from Austin, Cash flies off the top, righ hands from Austin. Cornered, Cash reverses. Chop, another, whip, tag from ac, he flies over and rolls through with Austin. Piledriver assisted by Dax! Cover! 1.2…NO!! Gunns try for A Big Rig, but Cash blocks, SHATTER MACHINE! Dax covers! 1..2….NO!!! Colten stops the pin!!!! The ref is pissed. He enters the ring, tells them NO DQ. We’re keeping th match going. Colten sends Cash into the ringpost. Dax is pissed. Switch and he tackles Cotlen off the apron. FAMEASSER FROM AUSTIN! COVER! 1..2…..NO!!! Austin calls for the end. He double underhooks, tries for a possible Pedigree. Dax reverses. Backslide!!! 1..2..NO!!! Cradle!!1 1….2..NO!!! Shoots the legs, jacknife, 1..2..NO!!!! Another kick out! LOW BLOW FROM AUSTIN!!!
He looks at the ref for the DQ! Ref ain’t havin it. He is about to call it but Cash stops him! Says not to call it, please. 3:10 to Yuma to Cash!!! Austin sits Dax on the top rope. Dax with rights. Coltne slides the title in the ring, ref steps on it and gets rid of it, but Colten has the other title!!! Dax fights Austin down onto the apron. Dax flies with a headbutt but Austin had the title!!!! COVER!!! 1…2…….NO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Tag to Colten. They both stand above Dax. They pull him up by the chin. He spits in both their mouths. They try for 3:10 to Yuma! NO!
Dax fights out! Sunset Flip, Colten holds onto Austin. Cash flies off the top rope! Double pin! 1………2….3!!!
Winners: FTR
Yay! Good shit from all four!
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 14:00
End Show
