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SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, you know what that means! Dynamite is live tonight, and it also represents the go-home episode before this Sunday’s Dynasty PPV. The biggest thing I think most of us are looking forward to tonight is the unveiling of the Owen Hart Tourney brackets for both the men and women, as the matches will start taking place at Dynasty. Of course, there promises to be great in-ring action as well, as TIMELESS Toni Storm will do battle with minion tag team partner of Megan Bayne in Penelope Ford. A mixed tag team match featuring Swerve Strickland and Willow Nightingale against Death Riders members Jon Moxley and Marina Shafir, marking the first time Shafir has had a match in an AEW ring since December of 2023. Speaking of the Death Riders, Claudio Castagnoli will face off with Cope (Just Cope), Will Ospreay will return (and I’m sure it won’t lead to any match for Dynasty, either) and of course, so much more on tap.
SO, how are YOU all doing tonight? Really not so hot here, to be honest, last night on the way home from work I encountered four deer on the road, none of which I could avoid, and the right front of my card got smashed in. To be honest, I was surprised that it was still drivable, at least to find the next available place I could pull off at. Other than that, the Pacers and Phillies keep winning, so that’s great, I guess.
Enough of me complaining about everything, let’s plant some Dynamite tonight!
Image Credit: FTR – Follow the Revolution on Facebook
Tonight’s go-home episode of Dynamite is LIVE from Peoria, Illinois! The power trivium of Tony Schiavone, Excalibur, and Taz are on the call tonight.
No time is to be wasted tonight, as we’re going to the mix tag team match first!
Mixed Tag Tornado Match: AEW World Champion Jon Moxley & Marina Shafir vs. Swerve Strickland & Willow Nightingale
Expected star rating: ***
So, Jay White was attacked by the Death Riders prior to the show. It’s supposed to be a pre-strike against Cope (Just Cope) so he has less backup this Sunday, our smart men suppose.
AND we’re off, as the men and the women pair off on the outside. Aubrey Edwards wants this to get in the ring, but so far, no dice! Moxley hits Strickland with a chair and throws it in his face. Marina and Jon pull out a ring from under the table, much to the approval of the fans. The bell finally rings as Willow and Marina go into the ring. Jon and Swerve fight on the announce desk, while Marina tries to choke out Willow in the ring. Both men off the table now, Strickland whips Moxley into the ring steps. Suplex in the ring by Willow to Marina, as Shafir bails out of the ring. Willow gives chase, as the men are now in the ring. Dunno if they understand how tornado tag works lol. Moxley flips the fans off. What an edgelord lol.
Dropkick by Strickland puts Moxley on the mat. Willow in not, up top, she hits Moxley with a missile dropkick. Willow and Swerve do the forever clotheslines. Swerve to the top, elbow to the back of Moxley. Both Swerve and Willow dance as Marina is back. Moxley and Strickland back to the floor, as Jon throws Swerve into the first row. Moxley gives Marina instructions as she chokes Willow on the bottom rope. Shafir with boots to Willow in the corner. We get a closeup of Moxley’s back as Willow slaps Jon, then Marina. Marina with a slap, Jon looking for a Paradigm Shift on Willow, Strickland back in, he has Marina up for a JML Driver. Marina keeps yelling DO IT, but Jon refuses. Willow shoves Moxley into Swerve and both men go back to the floor. Both women now on the apron, MARINA LIFTS WILLOW UP OVER HER HEAD AND POWERBOMBS HER TO THE FLOOR AND THROUGH THE TABLE! If ever there wasa Holy Shit moment, that was it. PIP Break.
PIP Thoughts (because xTomx didn’t like me removing them last week):
-Hacks on Max, yeah, that fits lol.
-Another show shill for the Last of Us, also on Max.
-Ghilardi chocolate = overrated.
-Lexus = Toyota
-LOVE THAT PICKLE FROM POPEYES!
-KEEP IT TWIIIIIIISSSSSSSTTTTTTTTEEEEEDDDD!!!!!11111
-Feed your lawn with Scott! FEED IT!
-Friday Night Vibes on TBS!
And we’re back, as Swerve and Jon are on the top. Strickland fights him off, but Marina goes up top and rakes the back of Strickland. Moxley up, he does the same. They are looking for a double team suplex, but Willow is back! SHE HITS A DOUBLE POWERBOMB ON JON AND MARINA, TAKING SWERVE OVER THE TOP! WOWWOWOWOW! Willow throws Marina into Jon, hits a thrust kick to Shafir. Strickland back in with a shot to Moxley. CANNONBALL by Willow to Shafir. SPINEBUSTER by Willow, Marina kicks out at two. Moxley throws Willow to the floor, Strickland is waiting for him though. Hands are traded. Strickland with a hip toss. Moxley reverses into the bulldog choke! Willow trying to break it up, but Marina stands between them. Marina with a standing triangle choke on Willow, but she still manages to powerbomb Marina onto Jon, effectively breaking the hold! THIS IS AWESOME chants. The ladies to go the floor now, as Moxley and Strickland trade hands on their knees. To their feet, strikes continue. Moxley gets hungry and tries to eat Swerve’s face, off the ropes, Swerve rolls through, Flatliner! Strickland looking House Call, but Marina pushes Jon out of the way, and she gets plunked! WILLOW IN THE RING, SHE THROWS MOXLEY OUT OF THE RING AND THROUGH THE TABLE! DOCTOR BOMB BY WILLOW WINS IT FOR HER TEAM!
WINNER: Swerve Strickland and Willow Nightingale
TIME: 13:30
THOUGHTS: Absolutely fun, lot of great chemistry between Willow and Swerve, as you would also expect between the Death Riders. A lot of creative spots, especially from Willow.
RATING: ***1/2
Post-match, sore loser Moxley returns and hits Willow with a Paradigm Shift! ASSHOLE chants. They leave through the crowd, as Strickland looks on in anger.
Back to Collision, as we see what happened between FTR. Earlier today, Renee has FTR and Paul Turner. Dax wanted to have Turner here in person so he can give the check to him, as Tony Khan fined him 10,000. He tells turner to take his wife out and buy her something nice, but don’t cash it until Friday. LOL! Dax says he loves Cash more than any other man in this world, and all that they have done and been through cannot be eclipsed by what happened on Collision. He would never ever in his life put his hands on Wheeler, because he thought he was a security guard, it was a mistake. He loves you like a brother. He wants to hug Cash, but Wheeler says they are brothers, but after Sunday, they have to talk. Apologetic Dax Harwood is something.
COMMERCIALS!
We return, with highlights of the mixed tag team, ending with Moxley hitting Willow with a Paradigm shift.
OMG OWEN HART UNVEILING! For the Men!
Will Ospreay- Kevin Knight
Brody King- Konosuke Takeshita
Mark Briscoe-Kyle Fletcher
Hangman Page – Wildcard
For the Women!
Jamie Hayter-Billie Starkz
Thunder Rosa- Kris Statlander
Julia Hart- Mercedes Mone
Harley Cameron-Athena
TIMELESS Toni Storm is here for her match, with Luther in tow!
Non-Title Match: AEW Women’s Champion Toni Storm vs. Penelope Ford
Expected Star Rating: **3/4
The bell rings, and Storm goes right after Ford, who bails to the floor. Ford tries to fight back, but Storm reverses a whip into the apron. Chops by Storm, as both ladies return to the ring. Backbreaker by Storm cuts off Ford’s momentum. Fisherwoman suplex from Storm gets her a two count. TONI chants. Storm looking hip attack, but Ford moves and hits a jawbreaker. Storm on the apron, Ford up and over in the corner, hits double knees to the back of Storm. Storm back up with forearms, Ford reverses and hits a big boot.
PIP, no bueno!😉
We’re back, as Ford hits the cartwheel into the backspring elbow. Big pump kick, but Toni is biting the lip of Ford while Ford is trying to lick Storm’s face. Wow lol. Storm means business as she hits a Thesz Press into punches. Clotheslines by Storm punctuated by a backdrop suplex. Hip Attack by Storm into a DDT, cover, Ford kicks out at two. Storm applies an STF, but Ford gets to the ropes for the break. Ford sends Storm to the floor, Storm tries to get back in, but Ford knocks her back down. Ford to the apron, standing moonsault connects! Ford sends Storm back into the ring, she hits a blockbuster! Cover, two count. Ford misses a roundhouse, release German by Storm. Reversals ensue, Storm with the Storm Zero and the win.
WINNER: TIMELESS Toni Storm
TIME: 8:10
THOUGHTS: Definitely a good match. Ford has been really impressive since her return, and Storm is always on point. This gets Storm a much-needed win heading into her title defense with Bayne at Dynasty.
RATING: ***
Post-match, the Megasus comes out and mock cheers for Storm. Toni invites Bayne into the ring, but she remains on the ramp.
In the back, Renee is trying to get a medical update on Willow. Swerve says she is strong, she is brave, that’s why he didn’t mind facing off with the Death Riders, because she welcomed the challenge. Knowing the history of neck issues she has; Jon still chose to do what he did. You are now on the hunt. Swerve is not resting until he gets his hands on Jon tonight. By the end of the night, he will have his hands on Moxley, he promises.
COMMERCIALS!
Earlier today, the Texas Daily News broke the news about All-In Texas weekend, with Dynamite, Thursday Collision, Starcast, Death Before Dishonor, and then finally, All-In Texas on Sunday at 3:00PM!
MVP and Bobby Lashley are here, Shelton Benjamin is not, interesting. Oh, apparently Shelton won’t be here because he’s effected by torandoes. Damn, that sucks.
Lashley goes to speak, but MJF is here to cut him off. CUT MY MUSIC, CUT MY MUSIC! Gentlemen, sorry for the interruption, by the way, Montel looks great tonight! If we’re being honest here, you kind of disrespected me last week, Bob. But your boys with Montel, so he’ll let it slide. My name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman, MJF. And he is a generational talent. He knows Bobby all too well, and he also knows about Shelton, he wishes him well and hopes he is safe. Lashley is one of the all-time greats, he’s been around the block. But this is AEW, and baby, you’re standing on the block I built. He knows how to get on top, stay on top, and he can help Bobby and Shelton hold on to those tag titles for as long as they please. Cards on the table, he knows they can help him too, to get back his AEW World Title. MJF in the Hurt Syndicate is good business, MVP knows it, you know it, even these Midwest mouth breathers know it. What MJF is getting at is, you might not want MJF, but you big, beautiful bastard, you NEED MJF.
Lashley now. Let’s be really clear here, out of respect for MVP, he isn’t going to leave him laying right here right now. I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. And the Hurt Syndicate sure as hell does not need you. So, unless you prove otherwise, you need to get out of this ring and out of my face right now.
MJF says he is heading out because Peoria stinks, and he takes his leave. The Learning Tree has arrived, sans Chris Jericho. Keith comes chest-to-face with Lashley, so Big Bill comes and towers over Lashley and MVP. They want Bobby and MVP to stay and watch their match, but Lashley pushes the chair to the ground.
Big Bill and Bryan Keith vs. Jobber A and Jobber B
Destruction should be imminent. I mean, if you’re wearing a shoulder sling, you probably should not try to attack Big Bill from behind. Bill throws Jobber A out of the ring, and hits a delay choke slam on Jobber B. The death is over.
WINNER: Big Bill and Bryan Keith
TIME: 1:20
THOUGHTS:MURDERKILLDEATH
RATING: N/R
Bill on the mic. On Collision, they whooped Top Flight’s ass. Tonight, they whooped…their ass. On Sunday in Philadelphia, they will whoop the Hurt Syndicate’s ass. They want a shot at the titles. Lashley acts as if he is going to say something, but he drops the mic, and him and MVP leave.
Renee has Mercedes Mone in the back. At Dynasty, she is facing former TBS Champion Julia Hart. She is mysterious, but it will take more than tricks and spells to stop the Mone Train. At Collision, there will be a tag team match, PUPPET MONE IS BACK! Harley Cameron says they brought the house down under. She has been thinking of team names. Mone says you stay out of her way on Collision, and she walks away. THE MONEY WRATH TRAIN will be their team’s name! CHOO CHOO!
Everyone’s favorite BRUV is here!
Will Ospreay & Kevin Knight vs. Blake Christian & Lee Johnson
Expected Star rating: ***1/4 just because.
The bell rings, as Ospreay and Christian to start us off. Lockup, Ospreay with a headlock, he’s shoved off, but Will runs him over. Christian with one, but Will springs back up. Will gyrates in the ring, Christian knocks Ospreay down and mocks him with the United Empire sign. Knight tags in, leaping splash to the back of Chrisian. The pin, Johnson in to break it up. Chop block by Chrisitan to Knight, basement drop kick by Johnson. Ospreay in to stop further double teamwork, both men hit drop kicks. They can’t figure out who wants to dive out of the ring first, so they crisscross and both men fly over the corners with suicide dives!
Excalibur: Apparently we have another Don Callis imposter
Taz: I wouldn’t mind if Callis got run over by a bus.
Johnson with a spear to the midsection of Ospreay though the ropes while Christian hits Knight with elbow drops. PIP Break.
PIP Pip Cheerio:
-Friday Night is a Vibe
-Collision, this Saturday!
-KEEP IT TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWISTED!111!!11
-No Beuno? More Beuno!
-I wouldn’t do Inspire, I don’t want mechs implanted in me, sorry.
-AT BK, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! YOU RULE!
-Ten grams of protein in Special K, so you can lift your bag up steps!
-Lucky Rabbit named Foot is better than just a rabbit’s foot lol.
-You know, if you have a cat who gets stuff when it hits the floor, why would you need Bissel lol.
-That’s the most tepid I have EVER heard Kevin Harlan lol.
We’re back, as Christian goes for the pin on Knight, just a two count. Knight finally fights out of the opponent’s corner and tags in Ospreay. Will with handspring elbows for both opponents and a corkscrew kick for Christian. Christian sends Ospreay up and over, but Johnson is there to drag Will off the apron. Corkscrew plancha by Christian to Ospreay. Back in the ring, 450 standing foot stomp by Christian to Ospreay. Ospreay reverses Johnson with a Stun Dog Millionaire. Knight in the ring, Clothesline for everyone. Knight hits a drop kick while Johnson is on the shoulders of Chirstian. spiking Christian with a poison rana. Springboard lariat by Knight, and that’s the win!
WINNER: Will Ospreay and Kevin Knight
TIME: 8:20
THOUGHTS: Yep, that was as fun as you would expect. Blake and Lee are a tag team, but you would have thought Kevin and Will were, too.
RATING: ***1/2
Post-match, Tony Schiavone informs us that Ospreay and Knight will face off at Dynasty this Sunday! Will and Kevin shake hands.
The Opps are in the back. Samoa Joe says he started this group because the battlefield was changing and so is the way that battles take form. They want to expand their foray in this business. They will be at Dynasty this Sunday, watching everything, and please, don’t let them catch you slacking.
COMMERCIALS!
We’re back, as it is time for MEAT SLAPPING MEAT!
Brody King vs. Lance Archer
Expected Star Rating: **3/4
Don Callis has a word for the Callis cosplayer at ring side lol. The bell rings, and we have a stalemate at the first lockup. Two bulls now collide with no give. Forearms it is. Archer off the ropes, but King runs into him. Same with Archer. Lance with a kick, he clotheslines King to the floor. CANNONBALL by Archer from the apron and to King on the floor. Archer charges King, but he sidesteps and shoves him into the barricade. Archer in the seat. ARF! ARF! ARF! Crossbody smashes Archer into the barricade. King shoves Archer into the ring. Callis throws his life to the wind as he grabs King by the foot, allowing Archer to kick the middle rope into King’s nuts. FUCK DON CALLS chants. Back on the floor, Archer throws King into the ring steps. King to his feet with chops and forearms, but Archer responds in kind. It’s broken down into a hockey fight on the floor. Archer slams King’s dace off the table as we go to PIP Break.
Piping hot takes:
-NBA playoffs coming soon. Go Pacers!
-HACKS, again, in case you ever care!
-DQ has opened the freezer for the Confetti Cake Blizzard!
-Coors Light, the official drink of Groomsmen!
=Red Bull gives you WINGS!
-Total Wireless, because all of the OTHER companies keep trying to cut each other at the knee.
-Ah, that is one special ice block lol.
-Drop, kill your date, or I’ll kill your son.
-Buy one large pizza, get one free at Papa John’s!
-More Bueno.
We’re back, Archer charges King in the corner. A second time. Archer misses the third one though, as King goes behind and hits a stalling release German! Chips from King, rolling elbow strike, and a running cross body. Scoop slam by King, senton splash follows for a two count. Archer says anything you can do, I can do better, as he hits a running cross body. Bossman Slam by Archer, cover for a two count. CHOKESLAM by Archer, King out at 2.8! Archer chases Paul Turner out of the ring. Archer charges King in the corner, King follows him in and hits his own lariat. ARF! ARF! ARF! CANNONBALL! Short arm lariat by King, cover, kick out at two. Archer with the goozle, King fights out, HUGE LARIAT, AS KING FALLS INTO THE COVER FOR THE WIN!
WINNER: Brody King
TIME: 10:30
THOUGHTS: A get-well win that King sorely needed after some high-profile losses. Archer played his part well, as he always does, but again, as he usually does, he lost.
RATING: ***1/4
Excalibur, at a very normal speed and tone, runs down the card for Dynasty, including the newly announced Owen Hart opening matches of Knight-Ospreay and Hart-Mone.
Our main event is up next!
COMMERCIALS!
YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM? YOU THINK YOU KNOW COPE?
Cope (Just Cope) vs. Claudio Castagnoli
Expected Star Rating: ***
Claudio attacks before the bell. Cope says he can start the match, so the bell rings and Claudio stomps away. To the floor, Claudio whips Cope into the LED Board. Claudio with the running uppercut to Cope, sitting in the chair in front of the barricade. Cope cuts Claudio off from trying to get back in the ring, and Cope charges into Claudio, sending him face first off the barricade. Cope sends Claudio into the ring steps, then whips him across the floor into the barricade. A flurry of forearms from Cope, as he sends Claudio back into the ring. Claudio with a headbutt to cut off Cope’s momentum, and another one. Cope reverses the uppercut into a backslide for a two count. Cope with lariats trying to knock Claudio down to no avail. Claudio tries, but Cope won’t go down. Cope with a straight kick and a reverse Impaler for a two count. SPEAR BY COPE TO CLAUDIO THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR! Cope returns to the ring, he wants to fly, but Claudio intercepts him with an uppercut! PIP Break.
Pip Pap Pop:
-We’re selling this HACKS something fierce.
-Ghirardelli Choclate, now with waffle cone!
-Danica Patrick for Endurance! The jokes write themselves!
We’re back, as Cope fights off the Cobra Clutch to stay alive. Both men in the ropes now, suplex reversals. Claudio instead drops Cope across the top rope and looks like he is constipated. Claudio, being the natural highflier that he is, goes to the top, as Cope cuts him off. Cope hits something that looks like a diving bulldog, but it didn’t look like Cope landed like he should have on that move. Impaler countered with a poke to the eye, double stomp by Claudio. Cope is going for a ride in the Giant Swing! Claudio throws him and goes for the cover, Cope out at two. Claudio looking for the Neutralizer, Cope reverses with the Impaler! Cope slow to the cover, but he does and gets a two count. Sunset Flip by Cope, Claudio rolls through and applies the Sharpshooter. Cope won’t give up, so Claudio transitions into a cross face. Cope slides out of it eventually, as he applies a cross face. Cope puts himself between Claudio and the ropes now. Claudio drags both of them to the ropes and to the apron to break the hold. Claudio powerslams Cope on the edge of the apron and he throws Cope into the crowd. He goes back into the ring and wants to take the count out win. Cope back in at nine, he walks into a lariat. Cover, Cope out at two. Claudio avoids a spear attempt, but Cope with great extension on a high boot to the face. Another spear attempt, but Claudio catches him with an uppercut. The cover, but Cope gets the bottom rope! Neutralizer by Claudio, but Cope kicks out at two again. Claudio has lost his mind, as he grabs two chairs from ringside. he’s looking conchairto, but Bryce Remsburg takes one chair from Claudio. Good guy Cope with a low blow to Claudio behind the ref’s back. Cope has the crazy eyes. SPEAR! That’s it.
WINNER: Cope (Just Cope)
TIME: 17:40
THOUGHTS: Kind of went too long, kind of sloppy in spots, but still, not a bad main event, as it helps to build towards the Trios’ Titles match at Dynasty.
RATING: ***
Renee is trying to get another word on Willow’s status. Swerve says with all due respect, he is looking for her husband right now. Hangman Page is here, instead! He says you are wasting your time, he said Strickland would never get the title back. They argue back and forth, Page says he burned Strickland’s house down.
Swerve: I deserved it.
That causes Page to lose his mind, and he stalks off. Strickland gets ambushed by all the members of the Death Riders sans Claudio, as they attack the security that was there to break up Swerve and Hangman. They come to ringside as Claudio is alive again. They put hold Swerve in the ring so Moxley can talk shit to him. Yuta empties a bucket of broken glass in the middle of the ring. Claudio with the Ricola Bomb to Strickland on top of the glass. Moxley talks some more mad shit to Strickland, as the Death Riders take their exit. Swerve sits up and stares menacingly at Moxley and his nerds. Swerve rises like the Terminator as his music plays.
And with that, we’re done!
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