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SICKOS! It’s Wednesday, you know what that means! AEW Dynamite is LIVE tonight from Portland, Oregon, as we are still wrapping our collective heads around the surprise World Title change last week at Spring Breakthru, and what it means for the company moving forward. And I got a feeling that we are about to learn tonight just how Darby Allin will go about his first Title reign.

Never one to rest on his laurels or settle for less, Allin will defend the World Title tonight when he faces off with The Psycho Killer Tommaso Ciampa. When Ciampa made his debut, he won the TNT Title from Kyle Fletcher in his first opportunity, so it remains to be seen if he can do it again with the World Title. Will Allin retain the title, or will Ciampa make him a one-hit wonder? And speaking of the Champion, we will hear from him tonight. Hey, as long as he isn’t going to disappear for months and drop the title, it should be just fine.

My heart and my soul will be broken when Mina Shirakawa goes one-on-one with Hikaru Shida. Last week on Collision Spring Breakthru, Mina accused Hikaru of being the one who attacked Timeless Toni Storm in light of a kendo stick being left at the scene of her attack. Will Mina get revenge for her Timeless Love Bombs partner, or will HOLY SHIDA not only defeat Mina, but also admit to the crime?

Former United Empire members explode tonight, as Will Ospreay will take on Mark Davis. After defeating Hechicero last week on Dynamite Spring Breakthru, Don Callis called for his plan-B, which was the emergence of Davis to hit Ospreay with a piledriver. Can Ospreay continue to successfully run the gambit of DCF members, or will Davis get the last laugh when he defeats his former mentor? All of this and, of course, so much more in store for us tonight!

So, how is everyone doing on this Hump Day? Tonight, will be a balancing act for me, as Game 3 of the Flyers-Penguins series will run parallel with Dynamite tonight. Thank goodness for the ability to run multiple devices on multiple services in this day and age!

Also, I just wanted to let you all know that, if you didn’t check out my weekend reviews of both Effy’s Big Gay Brunch and the Joey Janela Immortal Clusterfuck, then please feel free to check them out, I would appreciate it!

But, enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to make the Dynamite go BOOM!

Tonight, Dynamite is LIVE from the Veteran Memorial Coliseum! Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, and Nigel McGuinness are on the call tonight!

YOU WANTED WAR! Not really, and in fact, I am surprised that Tony hasn’t changed the show’s theme song. Also, Excalibur says Happy Earth Day, and I completely forgot that was today, so thank you, Ex!

Video package highlighting the World Title change last week from MJF to Darby Allin.

Speaking of MJF, he’s out here to bore us with the same heel shit he always does! He wants his music cut and he looks like he just dumped in his nappy of fear. You want to boo him? No, he isn’t like your paper champion, he demands respect.

Three days before his title match against Darby Allin last Wednesday, he faced Kenny Omega at Dynasty in an all-out war. He came out of that ailing, and he finds out that he is defending his title on the day. That skank ref Aubrey Edwards fast counted him, and Allin is a piece of shit who took his title.

Do you think Darby could beat him if he was at 100%? Do you think Allin would have won without cheating? Well, let MJF bore you tell you about himself. He is the man who made sure that Hangman Page couldn’t compete for the World Title ever again. He is the man who kicked out of the One-Winged Angel, and he has embarrassed all of your favorites. He doesn’t care about the main event and Darby’s match with the Psycho Killer, he wants Allin to come out here right now and give him back his World Title.

We don’t get Darby, we get Kevin Knight instead! Knight grabs his own mic. Man, different city, same old Max, coming out here whining like a little bitch. Portland, I know you’re tired of hearing Max talk, and the Jet just landed, so we’re changing lanes. Before you get to hating Max, ask yourself, and be honest, does the Jet look clean with a new title around his waist? When you’re a real champion, a fighting champion, you put the title on the line anytime.

You say you want a rematch for the World Title, but do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I had you pinned for an eternity and I got screwed. I would have been Two-Belts Jet instead.

Okay, says MJF. Let’s go over what you said. The Jet is fly, the Jet is TNT Champion, the Jet thinks that it is socially acceptable to be friends with Speedball Mike Bailey. Did he get that right? Here’s the fact, MJF beat him with an easy heat seeker. So, if anyone should be Champion, it should be me and me alone. But hey, look at you, give it up for your brand spanking new TNT Champion! That’s a cute title, and it fits you like a glove. It’s a workhorse title, and you are a workhorse with a ceiling. You’ll never be AEW Champion, and you should know better to get into my ring and get in my face. Someone who should know better than to let the AEW Title come out of his average little mouth.

Knight says that he will smack that big nose off of his face and send him packing. Let’s talk about the Jet. Some of the best wrestlers in the World have held this title, so it’s no coincidence that someone like you has never held this title. You’ve had everything handed to you, and let’s keep that trend going, and the Jet hands you your ass.

MJF tells the fans to shut up, and questions why Kevin wants to fight him. MJF is better than him, and he heard what he had to say about it, and you sold MJF on it. He wants it now, but he wants to take it away from Knight more. He wants to turn that pride into depression. You want to face MJF, then you put that title on the line, kid.

Knight says you know what, hell yeah, let’s do it. Since we are in Rip City, he will rip MJF a new one. MJF wants a ref and here comes Bryce! Impromptu Title time!

But no, MJF rolls out of the ring with the mic because he’s not done talking! He tells Knight that he will see you next week, Kid! What a swerve! What a man!

The Remarkable Renee Paquette is joined in the back by The Demand and Chris Jericho. Jericho and Ricochet argue over the copyright that Jericho applied for, you know, the one about Jericho getting his ass kicked every week by the Demand. Jericho continues the lame bald insults, and Jericho challenges them to a six-man match on Collision. Ricochet says no one wants to tag with you, but Jericho says he doesn’t need to find people who like him, just people who don’t like Ricochet. BURN!

VIOLENCE! And Lio Rush! Nice!

Brody King vs. Lio Rush

The bell rings, and Lio says it isn’t his house anymore, it’s never been his house. King doesn’t wait as long as PAC did to go after Rush, as he pulls him to center. Rush eyes up King and walks around him a bit. Rush wants to shake hands, and King accepts, but Brody won’t let go, so Rush bites his hand. Rush off the ropes with misdirection, but he jumps into the arms of King, who slams him to the mat.

King smashes Rush in the corner and does it once more. He throws Rush across the ring, and he slides to the floor. Rush wants a chop battle with King, but that goes about as well as you think it would. King sets up the chair and puts Rush in it. ARF! King charges, but Rush moves, and King crashes into the chair.

Rush climbs onto the barricade, but he jumps into the arms of King. Rush escapes out the back door, and he shoves King into the ring post and then into the barricade. Rush shrieks as we head out for our first break.

Rush and King are in the ring as we return. Rush tries the springboard stunner, but King reverses with a Blue Thunder Bomb. Off the ropes, and King smashes Rush with a lariat. King goes after Rush, but Lio hits a dropkick on King in between the ropes. Rush tries to pick up King, but he can’t. King tries a Gonzo Bomb, but Rush escapes into the ring and kicks King to the floor. Rush runs around like a dog and takes off with a Tope Suicida!

Not content with the Tope, Rush heads to the top and hits a flying crossbody block! Rush heads to the top, King slides into the ring, and Rush hits a Frog Splash! The cover, but King throws off Rush at one! King looks for a lariat, Rush escapes, but he runs into the Bossman Slam! ARF! CANNONBALL follows; Gonzo Bomb gets the win for Brody!
WINNER: Brody King
TIME: 9:20
THOUGHTS: Not that King wasn’t going to win, because obviously he was going to. But I love the fact that Rush is getting more TV time so he can play out his Blackheart gimmick. A good, solid match.
RATING: ***1/2

King has the mic post-match. Tonight, he will be keeping a close eye on the main event to see who wins. He congratulates Darby on winning the title, but he’s not proud enough to not bring the violence! ARF!

Renee is in the back with Tommaso Ciampa. Ciampa says that it doesn’t matter if Darby is 6’4 and 260 pounds, it doesn’t matter if he is the son or nephew of someone important. Tonight is all about the World Title. So, if you’re asking if he is ready for this moment, he has never been more ready.

Amazing Japanese ladies will get it on, next!

COMMERCIALS!

More talking time, as Adam Copeland is brooding in the back. Cope might be biased, but he feels like they deserve another shot at the World Tag Team Titles. He came up with an offer that he knows FTR cannot refuse. FTR say they are the best tag team of all-time, that’s debatable. But it’s not debatable that you are one of the best teams of all-time. Cope proposes a New York street fight for the tag titles at Double or Nothing. And you may wonder what is in it for them. Well, if Cage and Copeland lose, they will retire as a team. He is a man, so he knows what HE would do.

HOLY SHIDA, and MINA!

Hikaru Shida W/Kris Statlander vs. Mina Shirakawa

Shida mockingly claps for Mina during her entrance. My heart is torn here.

The bell rings, and Mina screams at Shida in Japanese before they lock-up. Takeover attempt from Mina, but Shida won’t budge. Mina tries it again, but Shida again stands her ground. Hammer toss attempt from Shida, but Mina pushes her against the rope and peppers her with forearms. Shida throws Mina across the ring by her hair, and they both miss dropkicks and we get a stand-off!

Mina with a wrist lock takeover to Shida, she catches Shida with an enziguri and the sling blade! Mina mounts Shida and punches away. Shida tries to bridge out, but Mina with a sunset flip for a two. Reversals occur, and Shida scores with a running jumping knee. Eat your heart out, Hunter and Harley Race! That’ll take us to the break.

Shida with headbutts to Mina as we return. Hammer throw, but Mina goes around the world and takes Shida to the mat! Mina is fired up! Her she comes with a charging elbow. Shida reverses her throw, but Mina catches her with an elbow and a Dragon Screw in the ropes! Mina with the springboard twist and Shida kicks out at two.

Mina goes to work on the knee of Shida. Knee breaker by Mina, and she signals the Figure-Four, but Shida punches the leg of Mina to escape. Shida hits the floor, but here comes Mina, as she dropkicks the bad knee of Shida. Mina grabs her knee, but Shida kicks Mina into the ring steps. Kris looks on as Shida carries Mina up the ring steps. Shida spikes Mina on the apron with a sit-down driver!

Shida heads to the top rope, Mina rolls into the ring, Hikaru with the Meteora! The cover, but Mina kicks out at two. Shida with the Komachi, but Mina kicks out at two again. Shida picks up Mina, but Mina escapes and scores with the rolling elbow strike!

Both ladies to their feet, Question Mark kick from Shida, but Spinning Back Fist from Mina floors Shida. Mina to the top rope, she hits the missile dropkick! Mina again to the top, sling blade from the top rope! Shida kicks out at two! The Figure-Four is locked in! Shida rolls to the ropes in order to get the break! Mike Posey admonishes Mina, and we see Shida trying to get her kendo stick! Mina cuts her off and grabs it herself, but Kris takes it from her. Shida with a knee strike and the Falcon Arrow, and she wins this one!
WINNER: Hikaru Shida
TIME: 11:45
THOUGHTS: My heart is broken, having to see Shida or Shirakawa lose this match. Why couldn’t they both just win? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
RATING: ***1/2

We get the graphic for the International Championship match at Double or Nothing between Kazuchika Okada and Konosuke Takeshita. Video package for said match incoming!

COMMERCIALS!

Back to Spring Breakthru Collision last week, as we see the Dogs lay waste to the Young Bucks and The Rascalz. This Saturday on Collision, the Bucks and the Rascalz will team-up to face The Death Riders and the Dogs. Well, at least that combination has continuity.

BRUV!

Will Ospreay vs. Mark Davis

Davis storms to the ring ready to fight. The bell rings, and Ospreay runs into him and falls down. Davis rams into Ospreay, sending him to the floor. Davis follows him out and rams him into the barricade. Davis returns Ospreay to the ring and connects with a scoop slam, but he takes WAY too long listening to the fans, and he misses his back splash.

Ospreay dropkicks Davis from the ring, but he can’t fly, as Davis pulls him out of the ring. Ospreay jumps over the ring steps and kicks them into the gut of Davis. Ospreay off the ring steps and he hits a Rana to Davis. Close-up of Davis looks like he is constipated lol. Ospreay returns Davis to the ring, and he connects on a flying forearm for a two. Ospreay looking to piledrive Davis, but he can’t, so Ospreay with Kawada kicks. Davis with a big boot to Ospreay and a lariat sends Will to the floor.

Davis looks around before he leaves the ring and goes after Ospreay. He knees Will in the gut, and he takes him up the ramp and to the side of the stage. Davis looking powerbomb, but Ospreay escapes and lands on the ramp. Will backs up and he takes off and wipes out Davis on the floor! That’ll take us to the break.

And we’re back, as Ospreay has a standing sleeper on Davis. Mark rams him into the corner, stops Will from springboarding, and cranks his neck over the top rope. Davis hits a big lariat and goes for the pin, but Will kicks out at two. Piledriver attempt, but Will escapes, off the wall, and he hits Davis with an enziguri.

Ospreay hits a big boot in the corner, to the top he goes, and he hits a punch from the top rope. Davis kicks out at two. Ospreay signals Hidden Blade, but Davis blocks it. Ospreay with a kick to the gut, but Davis grabs Ospreay and sits him on the top rope. He grabs Will by the hair, Will kicks him away, but Davis SMACKS Will with a lariat. Holy crap! The pin, but Ospreay kicks out at two.

Davis celebrates his near-fall and picks up Ospreay. Will out the back door, Ospreay with the hook kick, but Davis hits a boot. Davis runs into a Spanish Fly from Ospreay, but Mark kicks out at two! THIS IS AWESOME chants, and yeah, no shit, Portland! I sure hope our very own El Atomico is chanting that!

Both men square up in the middle of the ring, Ospreay with strikes, but Davis smacks him with one. Pump kick from Ospreay, Davis catches Ospreay on the Oscutter attempt with a Backdrop Driver. The first was so nice that Davis does it twice. Ospreay lands on the apron, so Davis hits a third Driver to bring Will back into the ring. The pin gets him another two.

Davis lines up Ospreay and he hits a leaping enziguri. Davis off the ropes, but Ospreay with the Hidden Blade FROMOUTTANOWHERE! The cover, but Davis kicks out at 2.5! Ospreay looks for a Hidden Blade proper, but Davis folds up Ospreay with a big lariat. Davis hits the Piledriver! The pin, but Will is too close to the ropes, and he gets his foot on the ropes. Not good ring awareness from Davis there. Don Callis argues with Paul Turner.

Ospreay tries to get feeling back in his shoulder, and Davis takes Ospreay out to the apron! PILEDRIVER ON THE APRON FROM DAVIS! Everyone checks on Will, as Callis pumps up his big man. Davis returns to the ring, and he psyches himself up while. Oh no, Doctor Sampson has stopped this match!
WINNER: Mark Davis VIA Doctor stoppage
TIME: 15:35
THOUGHTS: Yeah, this was a great one. And the finish protects Ospreay while giving Davis a win that he definitely deserves.
RATING: ****1/4

Not content with the victory, Davis grabs Ospreay from the outside and he looks to deliver another piledriver. But Callis runs away, and we see Marina Shafir on the apron! The rest of the Death Riders (sans PAC) are here! Davis thinks better of things and lays Ospreay on the mat. He leaves the ring as the fans chant YOU FUCKED UP! The Death Riders pick up Ospreay and they carry him through the crowd! This is quite the turn, I dare say.

Samoa Joe is back, and he is going to kill a son of a bitch, next!

COMMERCIALS!

Renee has Alex Windsor in the back. Renee says that Jamie Hayter is not cleared from her match with Thekla, and Windsor says that she is going to rip every single leg off of that Spider. Here comes Persephone! She may not be a Bird, or a Spider, but she wants to team with Alex to take on The Triangle of Madness. Alex says you get two, and we’ll take you on. She asks Persephone how to say we’ll beat the piss out of you in Spanish lol.

JOE! JOE! JOE!

Samoa Joe vs. Cody Chunn

Hey, I remember Chunn! Hey, we’ll remember him after Joe kills him! Chunn actually gets the better of Joe on a lock-up, but Joe quickly throws him down to the mat. Joe keeps arm control over Chunn and cranks on the arm of Cody. Chunn punches him, which doesn’t amuse Joe very much. Joe lays into Chunn with strikes before starting his Joe Jabs.

He smashes Chunn into the corner, he grabs Chunn, puts him on the top rope, but Chunn gouges the eyes! Chunn goes flying, but Joe with the NOPE spot! Damn, how I missed that lol. Joe throws Chunn into the corner headfirst. He sets Chunn on the top rope again, and this time, he hits the Muscle Buster for the win.
WINNER: Samoa Joe
TIME: 2:35
THOUGHTS: Joe’s Gonna Kill You, indeed!
RATING: N/R

Joe grabs his towel and heads up the ramp, where HOOK is waiting for him. They embrace and they seem happy, at least for now.

We get a video package for our new World Champion, Darby Allin. According to Tony, these are his most audacious moments. That is to say, all of them, basically.

COMMERCIALS!

Renee is busy tonight, as she knocks on the door of Jericho’s locker room. He opens it, and she wants to know if he has partners for his match with The Demand. Jericho says he does, and we see The Hurt Syndicate leave his locker room! MVP says it’s not personal, it’s just business. Makes sense, the history between the Syndicate and The Demand is well documented.

Tony Schiavone wants us to welcome out the NEW World Champion, Darby Allin! Allin arrives with a slow walk to the ring. Allin takes the mic from Tony and lays his title in the middle of the ring. YOU DESERVE IT chants, as Allin stares at the title. This title took everything. You know where I had my first match? Right here in Portland. I honestly didn’t think of what I was going to say, because this can all end in a matter of minutes when Tommaso Ciampa comes out here. But that’s just the thing, it’s a 15-minute ride. He sees what the Championship does to people, it can grow their ego. But this isn’t for him, this is for his parents that he helped retire. This is for his beautiful fiancée, who he met on a school bus, this is for the sherpas who helped him climb Mount Everest, and this is for all of you.

Crybaby Max is out screaming NO NO NO NO NO NO! He says Allin doesn’t deserve shit, so give me back my belt right now!

Allin: No.

MJF demands Allin gives him his rematch right now.

Allin: No.

Max, I’m not giving you a rematch until you put something on the line. Because unlike you, everyone else in the back deserves a shot at my title. And he is going to throw out his back defending this title. So, get the hell out of here.

Ciampa has heard enough, as hie music plays and he walks out. MJF gets into his face, Ciampa laughs, and he kisses MJF on the cheek! MJF is PISSED lol.

AEW World Title Match: Darby Allin (C) vs. Tommaso Ciampa

The bell rings, and both men trade shots. Ciampa overpowers Allin with a boot in the corner, but Allin follows Ciampa in with a John WOO dropkick! Allin looking to send this one home early, but Ciampa escapes to the floor. He’s not safe, however, as Allin hits a Coffin Drop to Ciampa on the floor! Ciampa looking Widow’s Bell, but Allin escapes, only for Ciampa to kick him into the announce table. Ciampa fires Allin into the barricade, and we will take a break.

Ciampa hits a catapult to Allin underneath the ring as we return. Ciampa lines up Allin with a big kick, but Allin moves and Ciampa kicks the barricade and goes into the timekeeper’s area. Allin heads to the top, he rips the top off of the turnbuckle, and he crashes into Ciampa on the floor! Allin returns to the ring as Ciampa struggles back to ring side, and we see he is busted open. Allin doesn’t wait for Ciampa to return to the ring, and he hits him with a Tope Suicida!

Allin returns Ciampa to the ring and looks to get back in, but Ciampa uses Bryce as a decoy and he shakes the ropes, sending Allin to the mat. Ciampa stomps away on Allin, and he looks to take Allin to the corner, but Darby escapes and hit the Scorpion Death Drop, as the top turnbuckle pad goes flying! Allin heads to the top for the Coffin Drop, but Ciampa rolls out of the ring and to the apron. Allin follows him to the apron and again heads to the top, but Ciampa crotches him.

Ciampa enters the ring only to head out the other side of the ring. He points to his head, and he chops Allin a couple of times. CIAMPA PICKS UP ALLIN AND HE HITS THE AIR RAID CRASH FROM THE TOP AND STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE FLOOR! HOLY SHIT! That’ll take us to what should be the final break.

Bryce is showing us how to count as we return from break. Allin and Ciampa both struggle to get to their feet in the middle of the ring, and a striking battle breaks out. Obviously, Ciampa gets the better of that, and he beats on Allin in the corner. Allin ducks Ciampa’s charge, Ciampa with a catapult attempt, but Allin leaps off the second turnbuckle with a double stomp!

Allin takes over with forearms to Ciampa. Tommaso catches Allin and drops him face first. Allin escapes with the chops, headbutt, and Code Red combination! Allin slowly crawls to the corner, and he climbs to the top. Coffin Drop attempt, but Ciampa catches Allin with a body scissors! Ciampa with the sleeper, but Allin leans back to escape. Allin runs into the exposed turnbuckle, and Ciampa lowers the knee pad, and he hits the knee strike! The cover, but Allin kicks out at two! Ciampa hits Project Ciampa and waits for Darby and he hits ANOTHER knee strike! The pin, but Allin remains alive!

Ciampa is beside himself as the fans chant FIGHT FOREVER. Ciampa looks to apply the Scorpion Deathlock, but Allin kicks him away and takes him down to the mat. Allin applies it proper! Ciampa looks to make the ropes, but Allin pulls him back to the middle of the ring! Allin sits back in the hold and pulls harder on the knee of Ciampa! Allin sits back into the Deathlock, and Ciampa taps out!
WINNER: Darby Allin (And still)
TIME: 18:00
THOUGHTS: Incredible main event match. Ospreay and Davis was the match of the night until these two crazy so-and-sos beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.
RATING: ****1/2

Post-match, Allin wants to shake Ciampa’s hand, Tommaso shakes his hand and bows to Allin. Tommaso puts the title on the shoulder of Allin. Nice! Ciampa stalks off a sad panda, and Brody King is here! King says that he is proud of Allin, and he just spoke to Tony Khan, and next week, it will be Brody and Darby for the World Title on Dynamite! King shakes Allin’s hand and he leaves, allowing Allin to soak it all in. We see the graphic for next week’s match, and with that, we are done!