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Hello everyone, and welcome to TBS! It’s a crazy new year, but the same ol same ol round the 411 offices!

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Did you guys know that this guy:

Grew up to be this guy:

Anyway, let’s watch some wrestling!

Our Judges: Mark Henry, Jerry Lynn, and Paul Wight.

Match 1: AEW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Daniel Bryan vs Hangman Adam Page
Bryan is quick to start the weasel game like last time, but Page aint having it. They lockup into the corner until the ref breaks them up and Bryan slides out. He gets back in, lockup, Bryan works the arm, Page reverses Page hits the ropes, Bryan rolls out of the ring, Page flies to the outside with a suicde dive!!! He goes for a moonsault, lands on his feet, grabs Bryan, pop-up powerbomb to the apron!!! He sends Bryan into the ring, calls for The Buckshot, but Bryan rolls out of the ring! Page hits the ropes, dives, but Bryan side steps and sends Page into the barricade arm first!!! Bryan gets a Hammerlock and sends Page into the barricade shoulder first. Bryan rolls out of the ring, grabs Page by the arm, sends him into the ring, then kicks him in the corner. Chop from Page, another, Bryan works the arm, slams it on his shoulder, sends Page to the mat. He stomps the back of the elbow, slamming the wrist into the mat. Bryan drives his knee into the arm. Page sends Bryan to the apron, hits the corner, misses a clothesline off the top rope, so he tries to do it again and hits it, this time! Off the apron this time, and to the outside! He grabs Bryan, sends him back into the ring, heads to the top rope. Page dives with a clothesline! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Chop from Page. Whip is reversed, but Page kicks him away. He hits the ropes and Bryan sends him to the outside. Page lands softly, Bryan dives through the ropes, Hangman catches him, hits a suplex over the head! Bryan is quick to hit a clothesline, rolls into the ring. Bryan stands proud. Page shows blood. He’s cut open again. Bryan rolls outside, grabs Page, attacks the head!

Back from the break, and Bryan is hitting headbutt after headbutt. Page with a chop. Bryan with another hedbutt. Chop from Page. Headbutt from Bryan, again, again, locks the head. HARD suplex then a mount, dropping elbows onto the forehead. Bryan with a cross armbreaker. Bryan with a whip, reversed, hops over Page, hits the roeps, again, flies, lands on the shoulders of Page, and page with a sick ass DVD! Page with a chop in the corner. Another chop. Bryan spins him. A chop, headbutt, kick to page, whip, reversed, hard clothesline from Page. Short clothesline, missed, GERMAN, PAGE LANDS ON HIS FEET, HITS A GERMAN OF HIS OWN! PIN FOR 1…….2….NO!!! Bryan with a kick. Page on his knees. Another kick, Page stands. Page with a right, another, Bryan hits one, the ropes, Page with a boot! He locks the head and lifts for a suplex, Bryan locks it. Page tries for a suplex, Bryan lands outside, Page goes with him! They land on their feet! Bryan esapes, sends Page into the post! Bryan looks to pull Page into the ringpost, but Page blocks it with a boot and pulls Bryan INTO THE POST! Again! A third! Page breaks the count and heads outside to roll Bryan into the ring. Headbutts from Page, another, another, a third, over and over. Ref holds him back as Bryan collapses. He seems to possibly be bleeding. Page does some jumpin jacks and burpees, all while pouring blood from his forehead.

We are back, and BOTH MEN are covered in blood! The Vegan’s blood is darker. Page and Bryan are on th top rope. HUGE headbutts from Page. He then sends Bryan flying with a a suplex, complete with a rotation so that Page can land with a pin. 1…2..NO!!! Bryan rolls to the apron. Ref checks on Bryan. He is COVERED. Page to the corner, Bryan shoves him off, Bryan to the apron. He runs and looks to get a DDT, but Page hits a DEAD EYE! He rolls Bryan into the ring! Page on the apron. His face is covered in dried blood, he’s pissed, focused, ready. He shoots, but Bryan falls to his knees and collapses just as Page looks to take his head off! Page walks over to Bryan, Bryan with a cradle! 1..2…N!!!! BRYAN LOCKS IN THE LABELL LOCK!!!! Page gets to his knees. Bryan drops him back down to his torso! Page reaches foreward! Ref says no. Bryan pulls back, Page rolls him onto his back and shoots him over the top rope! Bryan holds on! He doesn’t skin the cat this time around! He turns and Page shoots him off. He heads to the top rope. MOONSAULT TO BRYAN!!! He sends Bryan into the ring! Page hops on the apron. He shoots,Bryan ducks! KNEE!!!!! Bryan crawls to the cover! 1..2…….NO!!!!! Bryan grabs the hair, pulls Page up. Both on their knees. Headbutt to Page as the crowd chants FIGHT FOREVER! Page hits a headbutt. Bryan retorts. Bryan with another, another! He hits the ropes! Headbutt! Headbutt from Page! Roundhouse from Bryan! GOTCH PILEDRIVER FROM BRYAN!!! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!!

We get a shot of the judges taking notes. Bryan smiles at them. Wight is not impressed. Bryan grabs Page, holds the wrists and stomps Page’s face in! Bryan to the corner! He waits for Page to stand, runs for the knee, pop up! POWERBOMB FROM PAGE! He goes to cover, but Bryan locks in the TRIANGLE!!! Bryan hits some elbows! Page lifts Bryan, cant quite do it! Bryan with a knee bar! Page kicks him a few times, breaking the hold. Page on the back of Bryan, hits some rights from up above.

Page locks up from behind, goes for a back suplex, hits it! Page to the apron. BUCKSHOT!!!! Cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Hangman Adam Page
Lordy, that was a lot of blood. Thank you, Bryan and Page, for doin that, but whew was it wild! They wasted NO time here, going straight for the kill, and why wouldn’t they considering their last match and the heat between the two. I loved it. I prefer the classic a few weeks ago, but this was a solid follow up, gave Page a clean win, a hell of a defense, and should hopefully solidify his reign.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 29:00

The Acclaimed talks about Baby Boomers, and Sting bein one of them.

Match 2: MJF vs Shawn Dean

As soon as the bell rings, CM Punk runs down and slides into the ring. MJF slides out. Dean is bothered. He calls for MJF to come into the ring. CM Punk turns, kicks Dean, and hits the G2S for the DQ, giving Dean the win.

Winner: Shawn Dean

Total Rating: NR
Match Time: MJF in the sack

Punk grabs a mic, says this happens every single time MJF has a match until MJF has a match with Punk.

MJF says it’s bad enough he’s in Jersey, but Punk calls him a loser. He says it’s going to be real hard to fight for a title if he keeps losing. MJF says Punk enduces boredom.

STFU chant.

He tells Punk that he came out last week, said he was done, and now look at him, right back where he started. Why? He may have the crowd convinced, but MJF knows the truth – without him, Punk is nothing. He gives Punk an edge, makes him relevant. For Punk to come out here and claim that he’s a waste of money, when Punk sold Khan and these people a bill of goods. He’s not the savior anymore, but MJF is.

He wonders if PG Punk thinks HE is Roddy Piper? Piper was talented enough to main event a Wrestlemania. The crowd cheers for him, so he tells them he has the mic, so shut up. Awesome. He then says if he aint shown the proper respect around here, maybe he’ll Main Event a Mania, too.

Punk laughs his ass off in the ring. He says all he is trying to do is kick MJF’s ass. He’ll do it right now if he’ll shut up. MJF ran from him, hid behind FTR, all he wants to do is give MJF the beating he deserves, and if he thinks the grass is greener on the other side, go ahead and leave, main event buy one get one free four night extravaganza, get released faster than he does in the sack, and Punk will still be here waiting for his ass.

MJF fakes giving him the match then says next week, it’ll be CM Punk vs Wardlow.

The difference between Punk, Piper, and a worm like MJF is that he and Piper will fight anyone any time. Eventually, MJF will run out of people to hide behind and he will put MJF to sleep.

Jericho is here after the break! He says hello and calls tonight historical. He says he hasn’t been on tbs since WCW Thunder, losing to Booker T. He thinks Booker cheated. It’s great to be back here and anywhere after those 2point0 jackoffs hit him in the face with a chair and really really put him down. Last week, he didn’t come out to save Kinston, he came out to get some revenge on the dipshits, bay bay.

Speaking of dipshits, here they are!

Welcome back, says Lee. Jericho introduces Terrence and Phillip.

Real funny guy, ey Jericho? Remember the last time they ran into each other, Lee says? He gave Jericho a taste of a steel chair.

Jeircho didn’t like the taste, but he’s said this before – he cant stop looking at Lee’s square head. It looks like a post-it note. It’s a waffle. He asks for crowd participation.

Parker tells Jericho to shut his mouth. He calls Parker a pinhead. He then gets alternating Square Head and Pinhead chants.

2point0 defends themselves as Jericho leaves the ring and grabs the bat. He wants to knock their heads off. In comes Garcia from behind, gets hit with a bat, Lee and Parker attack Jericho, but here comes Santana, Ortiz, and Kingston. They run down the ramp and send the others leaving the ring.

Backstage, the former Seamus of Harry Potter is with Cole and Fish.

Cole says he knows that KOR didn’t mean to kick him in the face. But what wasn’t an accident? The Bucks coming down to assure victory. He calls them and The Bucks a supergroup. Speaking of exciting times, Jake Atlas – newly signed, how about thy go at it on Friday. He wants to send Atlas back to Orlando, because it’s a good new year, but the same Adam Cole. KOR calls Brandon Landon, telling him to cut it.

Before the match officially starts, Zambrano leaves the ring. Spears runs at him and hits a C4 on the outside, then rolls him inside.

Match 3: Wardlow vs Antonio Zambrano

Wardlow sees the guy, smirks, hits a powerbomb. Another. A third. A fourth. A fifth! Cover. 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Wardlow

Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Braden Walker’s Career

Jade’s daughter is shown in the crowd. Lol. Wow.

Match 4: TBS Championship Match
Jade Cargill vs Ruby Soho
Lockup and Jade sends Ruby flying. Another lockup and Jade backs Ruby into the corner .Ruby fires back with a right, another, a third. Jade runs, Ruby holds the ropes, Jade to the outside. Ruby hits a shoulder, then steps to the apron and kicks. DDROPKICK OFF THE APRON! Ruby favors her back, an obvious mistake, but is hyped. She enters the ring, Jade already in. Big boot to the side of Ruby. Stomp to Ruby. Jade to the top rope, dives off with an axe handle. Jade to the top rope again. Ruby runs up, grabs the arm. Arm drag to Jade. Ruby rolls outside for a break.

Mercedes Martinez runs down the ramp with some sick Js. She looks to attack, but Thunder Rosa runs down the ramp to attack!! They go at it with punches, rolling across the barricade back up towards the back.

Ruby is shown struggling to stand. Jade is on the apron.

Back from the break and Ruby has Jade in the corner. She hits a few running kicks, kicks a third, then a body shot, and an enziguri. Ruby locks up on the side, possibly for a Saito suplex, but Jade escapes, Ruby shoots her to the corner, Jade gets her leg up, favors the knee, Ruby drops her, covers for 1..2..NO!!! Ruby to the top rope, but Jade walks away from danger. Ruby drops back down, kicks the left leg a few times, spins, back kick to the gut. Ruby hits the ropes, Jade lifts her, gets Ruby on the shoulders, waits a while, then hits a shoulder breaker. Jade with a running pump kick to the face. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! jade sends Ruby into the ropes, lifts her. Fireman’s, but Ruby slinks down, going for a Sunset Flip. Jade lifts her by the head, Ruby hits the elbow, goes for another Saito Suplex, but Jade blocks, hits an elbow to the back of the head. Over and over. Ruby sends her into the ropes, SAITO SUPLEX AND A COVER! 1…2….NO!!!!

Sterling on the apron to argue with the ref until Aubrey throws him out to the back!

Jade grabs the distracted Ruby, goes for a the finisher, but Ruby rolls Jade up for 1..2..NO!!!! NO FUTURE FROM RUBY!!!! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!!!! Ruby drops in the corner for a rollup. Gets a 1..2..NO!!! Jade rushes the corner, misses, chop, right hands over and over, to the front then the back until the ref backs her up. Ruby awnts the title, and expresses as much. She lifts Jade onto the top rope. Right is blocked.

Jade punches down harder than Dave Chapelle, but Ruby stands on the top rope! Jade locks the arms from behind! She steps over, hits a sloppy looking Jaded. Cover for 1..2….3!!!!

Winner: Jade Cargill
They started off well enough, but the exhaustion got to Jade a bit, and her sloppiness started to show, all the way to the end. Congrats on the win, but we’ve got some work to do.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 11:16

Jim Ross sits down with Serena Deeb to talk about her rivalry with Shida.

Deeb says her initial approach was respect, but Shida got fluke victories and that didn’t sit well. This is now about Deeb getting what she deserves; being at the top.

JR asks what eats away at her regarding Shida. Deeb has a question for JR. Is there any woman on her level on the roster? The answer is no. They call her The Professor because she has a PhD in this shit. She paid dues for every woman in that locker room. She takes issues with Shida, so she demanded a match Shida next week. She’s going to take 17 years of anger and frustration out on her.

Match 5: Malakai Black vs Brian Pillman Jr.
Black tries to corner Bryan, Bryan circles out, locks up. Pillman backs him against the ropes, they twirl into the corner, side headlock attempt from Pillman, ref breaks it up. Black swings with a kick, Pllman drops down on his ass to escape the hit. Shoulder tackle to Pillman, Pillman hits a dropkick, Black ith a back elbow, then he tries for a moomsault! Lands on his feet, Brian sends him to the outside. Running dropkick through the ropes.

We are back, and Brian rolls Black up for 1..2..NO!!! Black stands, kicks the back of the head of Pillman. He lifts Brian with his boot, Pillman shoves the boot away, so Black stomps him. He lifts Pillman, Pillman holds onto the boto, hits a right hand, whip to the ropes, ducks under, hits a an elbow strike, clothesline, Black with a boot to the face out of the corner, but Brain hits a hard chop! Brainbuster! Cover for 1..2.NO!!!!

Pillman on the apron, trips himself up, Black finishes him with a a huge kick to the side of the face. Cover for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Malakai Black

Total Rating:
Match Time:

Hart runs into the ring to help Brain, and Black notices. He re-enters the ring. Julia backs up, but here come The Lucha Bros!!!

The lights go out.

Thy come back on, Black is on the ramp, while The Lucha Bros are in the ring. They go to help Pillman as Black heads backstage.

Speaking of backstage, Tony is with Ruby Soho, but here comes Britt to interrupt.

Britt says this is the second time she couldn’t get the job done. Big talk, says Ruby, from someone who cant seem to win the match without help. In fact, Britt has never beaten Riho with or without, so go prep for that and leave her alone.

Britt attacks. Hayter helps out, and in comes the Flying Riho! Refs are here to hold everyone back. Britt holds her title high.

QT Marshall and Solow are talking backstage about Hook. Solow tells him to stretch him if he can…lol.

Match 6: The Lucha Bros vs Jurassic Express
Rey and JB to start! They lock fingers, go down to one knee, then shoyulder to shoulder. Rey spins JB in then out, JB hoosk the arm, works the fineers down, hooks with his head for a Northern Lights into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Rey gets his own pin, then they work with the fingers still locked till JB hits a rana into a rollup for 1..2.NO!! Rey reverses for 1..2..NO!!!! Rey with a chop, sends JB into the ropes and hits a dropkick immediately. Rey tags in Penta. They double back suplex, but JB lands on his feet and gets a tag. All four in the ring, Kick from Penta, kick from Lucha, they turn to one another. Penta removes his glove, tosses it to Alex, tells Lucha No Fear in his native tongue, hits a chop, Lucha eats it, eats another. IN come JB and Rey. Lucha locks the hands of Rey, who locks the hands of JB, who locks up with Penta. Rey and JB hop up on the top rope, back flip, and arm drag Lucha and Penta, then meet in the middle of the ring. Penta shoots JB out and Luchaa comes in to send Rey out then hit a German to Penta. Lucha gets Penta to the shoulders, Penta slides off, kicks Lucha into the corner, high kick from Rey, Lucha kicks away Penta, tags in JB, JB sends Rey to the apron, Rey hops over, gets hit with a shoulder, high kick to Penta, JB rols over Rey, rana/arm drag to Penta/Rey! JB hits the ropes, slides to the outside, gets lifted by Penta to the apron, he lands on his feet, but Rey is there to walk the ropes and hit a running kick!!!

Back, and Rey and JB are back in the ring. JB with a clothesline sends Rey to the mat! Tag to Penta, he comes in, tries for a back suplex, misses a right, JB gets the tag, double shoulder tackle! Clotheslnie to Penta, pump kick to Rey. Lucha sends Penta into the corner, then Rey. Back elbow, another, another, back and forth between Rey and Penta. Rey ducks one, but Lucha comes back with a clothesline to both! GOOZLE!!!! Penta kicks, Rey kicks, both duck and kick the knee, then Superkick to the side of the head from each!!!! Rey lifts Penta then gets slammed onto Lucha! 1..2..NO!!! Rey grabs Lucha by the legs as Penta goes up top, but JB is there to hold Penta! Spike from Lucha to Rey! Running boot to Penta! Lucha gets a firemans! JB to the top rope! He flies OVER BOTH AND HITS A DESTROYER ONTO REY! Lucha drops Penta hard and covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Tag to JB. Lucha lifts, Penta kicks, another to JB. Rey on the apron, Lucha brings him to the top rope, but Rey hits a Destroyer off of the jump! Penta grabs JB. MADE IN JAPAN! Penta lifts JB, Rey has his legs on the shoulders.

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!

They are back on. Penta has JB on the apron, Rey is on the top rope, Lucha shoots him off, Penta steps up and hits a kick, Rey with a step up spinning kick this time, Penta wants Fear Factor, Lucha is outside, Rey hist the ropes, spins over the top rope onto Lucha! Penta drops JB onto his head!!!

Rey to the top rope! Penta with a the package! FEAR FACTOR/STOMP! Pin for 1..2…..NO!!!!

Christian Cage is bein creepy outside of the ring. Alex grabs a table. He removes the cover. Cage runs over to him and chases Abrahantes up the ramp to the back.

Rey on the apron. They call for he finish. Lucha to th apron, Rey chops him, antoher, antoher, big kick from Lucha drops Rey hard, Superkick from Penta to Lucha nearly drops him through the table! Another kick! Penta with a third, it’s blocked! HEADBUTTT! Rey hits the rops, Rey climbs up the ropes, GOOZLE!!! CHOKESLAM TO REY THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!

Penta is up! He grabs JB. Locks the head, packages up, JB lands on the feet behind Penta, spins Penta for a Killswitch!!!! Penta shots him, sends him to the ropes, goes for a pumphandle! JB WITH A ROLLUP!!! 1….2…..3!!!!

Winners: Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy
While we don’t have confirmation so early, it’s quite possible that Rey Fenix is injured, yet again, and this is why they wnet with the rollup finish. Because of that, I’ll go a little easy on the critique. This was a match that had a lot going for it when they left their foot off the brakes, but slowed down a bit too much for the contrived spots. Obviously, with these four, we knew that going in, but sometimes it can be a little too much, and I think tonight was one of those. Minor quibble, however, because the emotion was there, even if deflated by the end.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 14:35

JB’s mom and sister are in the crowd, and they seem incredibly happy. In tears, even.

Cage entesr the ring and hugs Lucha and JB.

We see all of the tag teams of AEW come out to the top of the ramp, staring at the winners, including Jericho in the crowd, clapping. Black is watching, as well.

End Show