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TNA Impact, here I come!

So, obviously, I am not Himanshu Doi, for he will not be here tonight. In that vein, when the Editor at Large sent out the email looking for coverage, I was the lucky one to step up and accept the job for tonight! So, I am ready to CROSS THE LINE!

Completely original and creative, I know!

Tonight’s show will feature both Nemeth Brothers in action, as Ryan will face Mara Sade in an Albuquerque Street Fight. At this point, they have been involved for so long, I don’t know why they don’t stop fighting and just start going out. Imagine the skits we could get! Speaking of the surname Nemeth, Ryan’s big brother Nic will take on Rich Swann in a match that could be sneaky good.

Elsewhere on the show, The New System will face Moose, Matt and Jeff Hardy, and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mike Santana. Speaking of Moose, he is slated to open the show, and we’ll also be hearing from Eric Young and Elijah during tonight’s show. All of this and, of course, so much more in store for us tonight!

So, how is everyone doing on this Thursday Night? Being a big hockey fan, I am patiently awaiting the Canada-USA Gold Metal matchup for both the men and the women. It just seems like fate will have it, as it does pretty much every time there is a big international hockey event.

So, enough about me and enough about you, let’s get ready to make the right turn to Albuquerque and get ready to CROSS THE LINE!

Tonight’s episode of Impact is LIVE (To tape) from the Tingley Coliseum! Tom Hannifan and The Drama King Matthew Rehwoldt are on the call tonight!

We open the show with the Maclin-Santana angle from last week, where Maclin, instead of being “fired” due to the Feast or Fired briefcase that he drew, instead attacked Santana and beat the crap out of him.

Show introduction proper incoming!

Someone call the Mounties, because we have a Moose sighting! Moose says everyone wants to know what is going on in this big ass head of mine. He isn’t going to complain about two grown ass men turning their backs on him. He’s not like that. He isn’t going to complain about four men leaving him lying in this ring. He’s not a bitch. He calls himself the Face of the Franchise because he’s been through it all in TNA. He’s been through the highs and the lows. Where he comes from, that’s just another Thursday.

Two years ago, in Las Vegas at Hard to Kill, he created the System. And he knows what he has to do to dismantle it. There is one man in the back who has the blueprint for taking out the System one by one, and you know who you are.

And that man is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mike Santana! He enters through the TNA fans and through the concourse and into the arena. Santana enters the ring and gets a mic. Well, look who it is, the big man Moose! He heard what he said, you are right, they have taken each other to war. They made their lives a living hell every single week. But like you said, the creator and the blueprint, he wouldn’t have it any other way to kick the System’s ass.

Moose says since Santana is here, they just need two legends from Cameron, North Carolina to come out here so they can kick The System’s ass!

But Daria Rae comes out instead! My name is Daria Rae, and I am the Suit. SHUT UP, I’M TALKING! She doesn’t know what the hell they are doing, but the circus that Santino ran is gone. This match is going to happen in the main event. And this was unplanned as well, so get the hell out of my ring.

Ryan Nemeth is working out in the back. Gia Miller says that he was supposed to meet her somewhere else to talk about his match with Mara Sade. He mocks her accent before asking her how many times is too many to superkick somebody in the face? The answer is there aren’t enough times. He got hit with a dart in the neck, and he is going to destroy that goblin, Mara Sade. He wants Gia to chant Let’s go Hunk. She doesn’t, and he says she’ll be saying it later on. Giggity?

Tom runs down the card for tonight. Nic Nemeth and Rich Swann will face off after the break!

COMMERCIALS!

Promo for tomorrow night’s No Surrender, taking place from Nashville, Tennessee!

Moose is brooding in the back. Alisha Edwards is here. She says this is all her fault, and Moose says it’s not. Alisha is worried about her mental health, and her contract is coming up. Moose says that she was the brain behind the System, you are his sister, and if you want to stay, then stay. Alisha says she appreciates it and leaves.

Nic Nemeth vs. Rich Swann

The bell rings and we are underway. We see the Call Your Shot Gauntlet Trophy on the announce desk, as Nemeth wrestles Swann to the corner. A clean break is given before another lock-up. Nemeth with wrist control, and he ties up Swann and rolls him up for a two. He snaps off a dropkick and gyrates! He calls Rich a kid and stomps on his face. I Dunno, isn’t Rich near your age, Wanted Man?

Swann reverses with wrist control and a headlock takeover. Nic reverses with a head scissor, but Swann with a handstand and he jumps out of the hold. Nic wonders if you are kidding him, and a leapfrog battle ensues. Cartwheel and a dropkick from Swann, which sends Nemeth from the ring. Rich dances as we head out for a break.

Swann hits a leg drop and gets a two during the break. Swann lines up Nemeth for a kick to the spine. ONE MORE TIME says the fans, so Swann obliges them. Swann makes Nemeth’s face visit every turnbuckle. The fans chant ONE MORE TIME, so Swann throws Nemeth into the fourth corner so hard that Nemeth spirals out of control lol.

Swann mounts and punches Nemeth. Nic rolls out to the floor, so Swann gives chase and lands some chops. Nemeth fights back and drops Swann headfirst on the ring apron! Nemeth returns to the ring and implores Referee Frank Gastineau to count Swann out. Swann makes it back in at the count of six. Nemeth proceeds to choke Swann and applies a chinlock while screaming YES and ASK HIM. I missed how animated he used to be.

(Okay, so two minutes ago, Hannifan said they were taking a break. Now, 120 seconds later, the WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK” TNA image pops up. Talk about ill timing lol).

An ad for TNA Merch pops up now, and it only adds to my confusion.

Okay NOW we are back, as Swann fights back to his feet and he smacks Nemeth one. Swann with a clothesline and he is FIRED UP! Swann charges, but Nemeth moves, but he gets countered with a SUPERKICK and a neck breaker from Swann. Rolling Splash from Swann, but Nemeth is out at two.

Swann follows Nemeth to the ropes, but Nic kicks him away. Fameasser from Nemeth, but Swann kicks out at two. THIS IS AWESOME chants, as both men struggle to their feet. Nemeth tunes up the band, but Swann doesn’t want to his music. Danger Zone is avoided, but he hits a SUPERKICK. Swann avoids another Danger Zone attempt and he hits a SUPERKICK! Swann heads to the top and hits the Frog Splash! The cover, but Nemeth kicks out at 2.5!

Swann gets to his feet, and he pulls Nemeth to the corner. He heads to the top, but his Phoenix Splash misses, and Nemeth with a DDT for a two. Body scissors from Nic, and he screams for the Ref to ASK HIM! Rich gets to his feet with Nic on his back. Fireman’s Carry position and a DVD from Swann!

Both men get to their knees and trade hands. Back on their feet now, and the strikes continue. Nemeth wins out and poses. He screams for Swann to COME ON, so Rich does with a barrage of strikes. Springboard from Swann, but he lands in the Danger Zone and Nemeth wins it!
WINNER: Nic Nemeth
TIME: 16:05
THOUGHTS: A really good match that either man could have won. The odd cut to the commercial and the ad didn’t hinder the match quality too much.
RATING: ***3/4

Indi Hartwell and Xia Brookside are in the back. Xia says tomorrow is No Surrender, and Lei Ying Lee is going to retain the TNA Knockouts title. So, where does that leave them? Well, they both pinned Heather and M by Elegance, so they are going to walk out TNA Knockouts Champions! Indi says that she can beat up the Personal Concierge, and Indi says let’s go talk about it.

Eric Young wants an answer from BDE next!

COMMERCIALS!

Shill for TNA+ post-break. I’m kind of surprised that TNA+ is allowed to air the new episodes in the US when AMC and AMC+ have the TV rights.

Hannifan runs down the events coming up through the month of March.

The Righteous are here. Vincent says unity can be a beautiful thing. The stars have aligned, it’s almost euphoric. They have stood shoulder to shoulder with the Hardys. Dutch says they are legends that have given everything to this business. Vincent says that they are facing the Order 4, and they rule with fear. But fear is just a four-letter word. They let lift up people. At No Surrender, Matthew and Brother Nero, they are honored to stand by them and fight with them. Dutch says trust us, and Vincent says do you dig what I’m saying.

Okay NOW Eric Young is here. He’s looking quite maniacal tonight. Last week, I gave a gift, the ultimate gift, the gift of time. he gave that gift to BDE. This place is full of corporate puppets, scum, greed, and this can be fixed with a cleanse. BDE, time is up, he wants you out here to give him your answer.

Brandon Does Everything is here. he gets in the ring, and EY says that these people like him. He is man enough to say that he doesn’t understand him or his popularity. But Eric understands the truth, he understands real opportunity, and above all else, he wants him to be a hero. Have you ever wanted something so bad that you were willing to do anything, to be the leader of the opposition, to do the unthinkable? We need your voice, we need your popularity, and you need us. So, what’s your choice? Are you going to be with the villains, the sheep, the politicians, or are you going to be with the people who know the truth?

BDE says he has thought about things all week. This place isn’t perfect, there are people waiting to stab you in the back and there are politics. Eric says he is right, so is it a yes or a no? BDE didn’t get an opportunity by letting someone decide what his voice sounds like. He doesn’t need Eric, and he doesn’t need his imaginary friends. All he needs is these people cheering him while he continues to live out his dream. So, his answer is HELL NO!

Predictably, this doesn’t sit well with Young, as he attacks BDE. He goes for the piledriver, but the officials are here. Eric feigns begging off, but he hits it anyway. He leaves the ring but thinks better of it and heads back to the ring for another piledriver. Security is here now, and Eric again begs off. He throws BDE aside and attacks Security. He hits one of them with a piledriver and pie faces a referee. Young heads to the floor and threatens to hit fans, but he instead hits another member of Security with a piledriver on the floor. Young takes off his shirt and stalks around the ring before finally heading up the ramp.

The Albuquerque Street Fight is up next!

COMMERCIALS!

Promo for Ash by Elegance and her journey from having to step aside to her return to the company. Check it out on Immersed!

Eric Young is still fighting with Security in the back as we return. Santino Marella is here, and he tells Eric that he is suspended. But wait, Daria Rae is here and she says he isn’t suspended. They’ll talk about this later, and she tells Santino to stop making irrational decisions. He mutters something under his breath but backs off when Daria questions him.

HUNK! HUNK! HUNK!

Albuquerque Street Fight: Ryan Nemeth vs. Mara Sade
Nemeth attacks during Sade’s entrance, but it doesn’t go very well for him, at least initially. They fight into the crowd, and Sade throws Nemeth into a garbage can. They fight back to ring side, as Mara throws Ryan over the barricade.

Sade goes under the ring and pulls out a baking sheet. She proceeds to dent it over the head and back of Nemeth. He tries to punch Sade, but he punches the sheet instead. Sade heads up top and hits a missile dropkick, sending Nemeth from the ring.

Sade is thinking baseball slide, but Nemeth catches her in the ring skirt and hits her with the baking sheet. He takes too long posing, allowing Sade to get a steel chair and she hits him in the gut. Her follow-up swing misses, and Nemeth drops Sade. He grabs the chair and jams it into Sade’s stomach. He goes back to posing and boots Sade in the face.

Nemeth hits a neck breaker on the floor, but Sade kicks out at one. Nemeth continues to talk that mad smack before ramming Mara’s face into the floor. Nemeth slams a chair on the floor until the top becomes warped and he sets it up. He sets up Sade for a neck breaker over the chair, but Sade throws him into the ring post. Sade takes flight, jumps off the chair, and hits Nemeth with a flying clothesline!

Sade goes back under the ring, and she grabs the black bag of goodness! She empties out the contents and it’s a bunch of lollipops! Hannifan says a bunch of Dum-Dums for a Dum-Dum as they jockey for position. Sade ends up hitting Nemeth with a suplex into the lollipops. Matt hopes that he didn’t land on a cream soda one because they are gross, and he is right lol.

Sade brandishes a kendo stick, and she beats Nemeth with it. Sandman approved Side Russian Leg sweep with the cane but that gets her a two. Nemeth turns the table and starts beating her with the kendo stick. He stomps her face into the mat and posses with the cane.

He heads to the apron and to the top rope, but he takes WAY too long posing, and Sade drops him on his balls. He falls to the mat and when he gets to his feet, he eats a SUPERKICK from Mara, and that’s curtains for The Hunk!
WINNER: Mara Sade
TIME: 8:35
THOUGHTS: Fun for what it was. It seemed like the match was in slow motion, though, and I’m not sure if that was because of Ryan’s insistent posing and celebrating, or if the flow was just off.
RATING: **3/4

Bio-Flex Injury Report!
–Moose has been cleared to return to action!
–Jeff Hardy is currently competing through a litany of injuries, but he has been cleared.
–Jada Stone is not cleared after taking a Tombstone from Mustapha Ali.
–Ash by Elegance has been cleared for competition!
–BDE is still being looked at by the medical team after EY assaulted him.

COMMERCIALS!

Vignette for JDC and his journey towards retirement, available on Immersed!

Mance Warner and Steph De Lander are in the back. She feels like they should re-introduce themselves. Warner says he walks through people. Steph says she is Steph De Lander, the wife of Mance Warner. Warner says there is a lot of talent in TNA, but the last time he checked, that doesn’t pay his bills. Anyone who ends up in the ring across from them will find out why they call him the Southern Psycho.

Video package, highlighting the issues between Order 4 and Elijah, more so Elijah and Ali. They are apparently going to settle this in Nashville in a guitar case casket match. Okay, at least it isn’t a plain, boring casket at least.

Another promo for No Surrender, tomorrow night from Nashville, Tennessee! In that spirit, Tom runs down the matches for tomorrow night’s PPV offering.

After that insane amount of time killing, the main event will be up next after we kill even MORE time!

COMMERCIALS!

The same No Surrender promo airs post-break.

Santino is on his phone in the back. Ariana comes in squealing like a schoolgirl, and she says she can’t believe that her dad got her the title match at No Surrender. She hugs him, and she steals the cobra sock from her dad.

BTW, it took me WAY too long to not make that sound perverted lol.

It’s main event time (finally!)

HOLY CRAP MORE COMMERCIALS!

Om the flipside, seeing Tommy Dreamer wearing a Pirates jersey to adhere himself to the Pittsburgh fans when they were at the UPMC Center back in July is certainly an image.

The System vs. The Hardys, Moose, and TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mike Santana

Yeah, Alisha Edwards coming out with Moose obviously does NOT telegraph a turn by her and joining Edde in the new System. Nope, not at all.

Okay, the bell has finally rung, but the System head down to the floor. Santana will start for his team, while Brian Myers will start for the New System. MIKE SANTANA chants as he unloads with punches and then does a tribal yell. Myers off the ropes, but he eats a dropkick. Eddie Edwards wonders in and eats a SUPERKICK. Front face slam and a knee drop from Santana to Myers.

Santana winds up the arm of Myers and teases tagging out. He takes Jeff Hardy, who continues the arm abuse on Myers. HARDY chants, as Jeff tags in Matt. He heads to the top, does the finger pose, and hits a double axe handle. He proceeds to DELETE Myers out of existence, but Brian won’t go easily. Matt with a bottom rope catapult, and Jeff with a leg drop. Standing splash form Jeff gets him a two.

Santana with the tag now, and the arm abuse of Myers continues. He has had enough, as he charges the World Champion to his corner. Edwards in the match officially. A corner charge and a clothesline get him a two. Bear Bronson with the tag, and he pummels Santana in the corner. He smashes him in the corner before tagging in Cedric Alexander.

Alexander with a vertical suplex that gets him a two on Santana. Mike is able to escape and he tags in Moose, who proceeds to hit anyone who identifies as a System member. Big dropkick to Alexander, who was sitting on the top rope. Urinage to Myers, but Cedric slows Moose down for a second. Moose responds with the Go to Hell for a two.

Myers grabs Moose so he can’t get out of the corner, and Alexander hits a running boot. Edwards in, he mocks Moose’s pose, and he eats a dropkick for his trouble. Matt Hardy is in now, and he proceeds to DELETE Myers. Not content with that, he proceeds to DELETE Edwards. STILL not satisfied, he DELETES Alexander out of existence. He can’t do the same to Bronson though, who flattens Hardy.

Bronson with body shots to Matt as he backs him up into the System’s corner. Hardy looking for a Sunset Flip, but Bronson flattens Hardy with a sit-down splash. Bronson wails away on Hardy as Tom says we’re heading out for a break. He did this earlier and then it was two minutes later that the break happened. Is that normal for them, or is this a GOTCHA moment on me?

The System take turns beating up Matt during the “break” and the fans chant REF YOU SUCK. When it looks like Matt finally was fighting back, he eats a Dragon Screw from Alexander. Bronson is back in as he continues the punch fest on Hardy. He backs Hardy into their corner and Eddie is in. He takes Matt to one corner only to bring him back to his team’s corner and tags in Myers.

Okay, the OFFICIAL break is upon us now lol.

Holy Crap, though, these segments celebrating Black History Month in TNA have been great. Still crazy to see Xaiver Woods as Consequences Wood in TNA. It seems like a long time ago that was the case.

Myers hits a back suplex to Matt Hardy as we return. Man, I’ve heard of the face in peril, but Matt is taking this to a, shall we say, extreme level? Cedric gets the tag and he hits a snap suplex for a two. Alexander with the dreaded chinlock, but Matt gets to his feet AND he goes right back to the System’s corner. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Myers in now with a grounded chinlock. If the fans chant enough, maybe they can get Matt to his own corner. Myers with a cheap shot to Santana, but he pays for it as Matt hits him with a side effect. Hardy stumbles around like a drunk bar patron, but he FINALLY tags out.

Santana and Edwards are in now, and Santana tells him that HE’S GOT YOU, SUCKER and hits an enziguri and the Roling Buck-Fifty. The cover, but the System for the save. The faces clear out the System, feeding Eddie into Poetry in Motion, a Uranage, and a Frog Splash. The pin, but the System are back to break up the pin. Once again, the fans chant REF YOU SUCK because, sure, why not.

Bronson whips Santana, Blue Thunder Bomb from Edwards, flying elbow from Myers, and a Frog Splash from Alexander, but Santana still kicks out at two. Everyone is in the ring hitting their shit. Santana misses Spin the Block, and Edwards and Satana collide with a double lariat.

(BTW, this match has now gone over 20 minutes).

Jeff Hardy and Bronson are the legal men now. Hardy with repeat running forearms, the inverted atomic drop, the leg drop to the balls, and a standing splash for a two. Hardy pulls Bronson into a submission. Myers grabs the TNA World Title, but Alisha disarms him of the belt! Well, maybe she isn’t turning after all, right?

…Right?

It turns into a waterfall of humanity, according to Rehwoldt. Bronson goozles Jeff, but he eats a standing stunner into a Twist of Fate from Matt! Jeff removes the shirt and heads to the top, but Alexander drops him on his splash zone! Matt knocks him off the apron, and Bronson is back. Bronson with the Bear Driver and the System win!
WINNER: The System
TIME: 23:55
THOUGHTS: I usually try to find the positive in everything. I feel like life is too short to be a “Negative Nancy”. But man, I’m not sure that there was a lot to mine from this match. Not only did it go nearly 24 minutes when it had no business doing so, but roughly half of the time, Matt Hardy spent being the babyface in peril. And I know that, in matches like this, it’s typical for a babyface to be in peril and get beaten up by the heels, but this went on WAY too long. I guess if I can glean anything positive it’s the fact that the relative newcomer Bear Bronson got the win over 1/2 of the tag team champions AND Alisha did NOT turn on Moose when it looked like all the signs pointed in that direction. Definitely flat and boring in my book.
RATING: **

Post-match, the System celebrate their victory on the ramp as the babyfaces lick their wounds. And with that, we are done!