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EDGE IS BACK!!!

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We recap the Rumble; a pretty fun one if ya ask me. Did ya ask me? No? Shit…

They, rightfully so, focus on Drew’s win, and not anything else.

So they switched up the announcers. We get King (bleh), Saxton (Meh), and Phillips! (Yeh!)

We start the show proper with Drew McIntyre, the 2020 Royal Rumble Winner!

The Mania sign is up and pointed at.

The crowd seems to think that Drew deserves the win, and let him know in unison.

Drew wants to be pinched, cuz he’s convinced he’s been dreaming for the past 24 hours. He tells San Antonio to stand before us that the winner of the 2020 RR is Drew McIntyre, and Drew is going to Wrestlemania! He knows some guys like to play games and draw this out, but it’s not his style. It’s time to make a little announcement. He says that he is going to make a challenge; he challenges Brock Lesnar.

He says most guys are terrified of Brock; but not him. He looked into his eyes and saw that he could Claymore this man over the top rope, and that’s exactly what he did. He also knows that he’s going to beat Brock Lesnar for the title at Mania. He’s full of energy, though, and he wants to give some Claymores out right now. In fact, he wants to have an official Claymore party right now, so how bout it – who wants to make a name for themselves. Who’s got the balls?

Out comes Karl Anderson and Gallows, and the crowd goes mild.

They grab mics, and Anderson says he will fight Drew tonight, but Gallows says he will fight Drew tonight. Drew calls himself the dream maker right now, and offers a 2-on-1.

Match 1: Drew McIntyre vs The OC
Anderson starts hard with a chop, but Drew gives him one in return. He locks the head and deadlifts into a supelx to Anderson. Tag to Gallows. Gallows in and he kicks hard, but Drew backs him into the corner and kicks, then hits a hard chop after ripping the shirt. Gallows wiyh a throat thrust and a kick. Tag to Anderson, they set up for Magic Killer, but Drew kicks Anderson away, then Gallows, Glasgow kiss and a belly to belly to Anderson. Another sends Anderson flying. Drew to the top rope. Drew flies with a single armed ax handle. Kip up and a duck under Gallows. Future Shock DDT. Kip up.

Drew turns to countdown for the Claymore. He rushes Anderson and hits him with one! Gallows is next. 3-2-1, and a pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre
I mean, I don’t hate it….
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **

Drew tosses both Gallows and Anderson out of the ring, claiming his territory.

From behind, Brock rushes the ring and hits Drew with a huge F5!!! He’s pissed. He holds his title up in the air, then leaves the ring.

A video package for Edge’s 2001 Mania moments plays, then Rey Mysterio comes out live. Afterwards, they give MVP a video package, and it seems his appearance last night wasn’t a one-off. Interesting.

Match 2: Rey Mysterio vs MVP
Rey and MVP do a little dance to show he’s still got it, and the crowd lets him know that he does, in fact, still have it. Rey with the go behind. He shoves MVP. MVP breaks a hold, shoves Rey. Rey with the lockup from behind. Rey pushes out of the corner, and MVP kicks him hard. MVP with a cover for 1..2..NO!!! He grabs Rey by the head and throws a few forearms. Rey is seated on the ropes, he seems to be hurt. Rey can’t stand. MVP stomps Rey in the corner. The ref holds him back. MVP runs, and Rey gets a drop toe hold. Rey with a kcik, Enziguri to the back of the neck. MVP rolls to the outside. Rey on the apron. He runs and hurricanranas MVP into the barricade!!

We are back, and Rey is seated on MVP’s shoulders. Rey twists and sends MVP into the buckle face first. Rey with a kick to the hammy. Right hand to the face. Whip, reverse, and MVP nearly gets a tilt a whirl, but Rey sends him flyin. Rey with a high kick. Seated senton to MVP. He hits the ropes, springboard, Moonsault to MVP! Nice. Rey hits the ropes and springboards again, but this time, MVP catches him. MVP hits the ropes, BALLLLIIIN Elbow drop! Pin for 1..2..NO!! Rey grabs the ropes. MVP kicks Rey in the face a few times, mockingly.

MVP then sets him up for a powerbomb, but Rey head scissors and goes for the 619, only for MVP to stand up, turn, and Rey hits him in the back. Frogsplash to the back of MVP! Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio
Odd miscommunication throughout the entire match, or just a lackluster showing from MVP.
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Match 3: Aleister Black vs Kofi Queenston

Black kicks Black Man.

Winner: Aleister Black

Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

Black is on the mic to take responsibility or losing the rumble. He says he owns that loss. He brings up the last few months and how he has made the mistake of waiting for people to knock on his door and pick a fight with him, but as of tonight, that changes. They are no longer the one who picks a fight with him. No, he will bring the fight to them.

Seth and his tag team partner come out to preach. Seth says he was seconds away from being the winner of the rumble for the second time. But it wasn’t in the cards. He tells Drew, the new winner, to enjoy it while it last, because we will turn on him so fast. He is here to focus on the positive, though. Two positives are that he eliminated both Joe and Owens, and neither of them are going to Mania. Another positive is right beside him. He and his newest disciple dethroned the unbeatable Viking Raiders to become the new champions. Earlier today, Owens and Joe challenged them for a title match, and since Seth is a benevolent leader, he has accepted said challenge, so to the both of them: come out here and get your asses handed to them by the Monday Night headache.

Owens and Joe come to the top of the ramp. Owens thinks Seth still talks way too much. Owens wants him to be aware of something; Seth is delusional, but he also needs to know that he’s been an absolute jack ass. Owens means it from the bottom of his heart; Seth sucks now.

Seth says Owens claims he talks too much, but it’s Owens that needs to stop talking and fight him for the titles.

Joe then says Seth has his big boy britches on, and it’s funny how Owens hs been looking for this fight for weeks. What’s different about tonight. It’s amost like AOP is hidden somewhere – where are they?

Seth figured they’d say this. They don’t need the AOP, so Seth told them to stay in the back, and he has video proof. Seth waves to the boys on the screen. They respond.

Joe says obviously this is proof. It’s not like they work here with cameras that could run shit earlier in the day. He’s calling Seth a liar.

Seth takes offense to this. He pulls AOP back up. He tells Akam to say something to Kevin.

Akam tells Owens something.

Joe confirms that they are in Seth’s private dressing room right now. Owens says thank you, cuz now they don’t have to look for them anymore.

On the screen, The Viking Raiders come out of nowhere to attack AOP! Refs rush in the room to break up the fight as they continue to beat down on one another.

Joe and Owens then start the trek to the ring.

Match 4: WWE RAW Tag Team Championship Match
Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe vs Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy
Joe and Seth to start. Joe escapes a wrist lock with a hard right, causing Seth to roll to the outside. Buddy checks on him as Joe stands in the ring, waiting. Seth hops on the apron and gets back in, only to tag in Murphy. He and Seth hug, and Buddy circles the ring. Go behind from Buddy, but Joe escapes and headbutts Buddy. Joe chops Buddy down hard. Joe with some punches, cornering Buddy and beating him down till the ref stops him. Joe grabs the head and hits a right hand. A forearm to the face is responded in kind. Uddy hits the ropes, but Joe trucks him down with a hard tackle. Tag to Owens who hits a flurry of rights in the corner. He mocks Seth then slams Murphy down and hits an elbow drop off the corner. Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Tag to Joe after a nice chop. Joe with a snapmare, and Joe smacks the back then kicks the chest. Elbow drop to Murphy. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Tag to Owens. Owens with a clothesline in the corner. Another as Murphy runs out. Owens stomps the chest. Whip to Murphy. Cover for 1..2..NO! Tag from Joe. Joe with a headbutt to the back of Murphy. Chop to Murphy. Joe with a side Russian leg sweep. Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Joe tags in Owens. He drops Murphy then tags Joe back in. Joe throat thrusts, misses a clothesline, Seth gets a blind tag, go behind from Murphy, but Joe elbows Seth, then Murphy, only for Seth and Buddy to take over with two elbows. Kicks in the corner, and Seth stomps Joe down. Tag to Buddy. They grab Joe, whip Joe to the corner, Murphy whips Seth, Joe sends him over the top rope. He tries to do the same to Murphy. Buddy flies with a crossbody, but Joe side steps and Murphy eats the mat. Joe sends him to the outside. Owens flies off the apron with a cannonball to Seth. Joe with a suicide dive to Buddy!

So we come back to the bad news that Joe was escorted to the back by the medical staff, being forced to not compete. So it’s Owens in the ring with Buddy in a 2-on-1. Buddy with a cravat from behind. Owens escapes. Kicks. DDT to Buddy! Buddy tags in Seth. Owens stands in the corner, side steps, Seth posts himself. Owens to the top rope. Frog Splash to Seth! Cover for 1..2..NO!! Chops to Buddy who got the tag. Leg lariat from Murphy. Murphy is up. He covers for 1..2..NO!!! Owens fights out of the corner against both Seth and Buddy. Seth grabs the head, crotches, looks for a possible buckle bomb, but Owens back body drops, only for Seth to land on his feet. Seth runs…right into a pop-up powerbomb! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Owens to the top rope. Buddy is tagged in. He goes for a superplex, but owens with right hands and a heabutt sends Murphy back to the mat. Owens with a Swanton Bomb! 1…2…NO!!! Rollins is there to stop the pin! Murphy with a knee to the face of Owens! He hangs over the ropes.

Seth looks for the stomp, but Owens moves, turns, looks to Stun Murphy, but Seth runs in, turns Owens, STUNNER TO SETH! Rollup from Murphy! 1…2…3!!!

Winners: Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy
Kinda run of the mill tag team action
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

We head backstage where Charley wants to talk to The Man. Now that she beat Asuka, did it accomplish what she thought it was going to?

Becky said it did something better; last night, after she won, something profound happened. She looked at her title after the match and it hit her…she really is better than all the other dopes. She called every shot, told everyone who she was going to beat and has beaten them all. Now that she is done collecting, the next arse she beats will be vecause she wants to, not because she feels like she has to.

Charly brings up Charlotte, and Becky says if Charlotte challenges her it wont be the first time, but it will damn well be the last time.

Match 5: United States Championship Match
Humberto Carrillo vs Andrade
Humberto comes out the gate with an attack, stomping Andrade in the corner. Andrade rolls to the outside. Humberto follows and kicks Andrade, then clubs the back and follows up with sending him into the barricade. Humberto grabs Andrade, but Andrade shoves him into the ring post. Hard chop to Humberto. Andrade sends him into the ring at the count of 8 then follows. He hits the corner and runs with a high knee to the face. Cover for 1..NO!!! Andrade with some forearms, then a few stomps. Humberto fights back; Andrade with knees. He chops the chest then whips Humberto to the corner. Andrade rushes the corner with another knee, but Humberto mvoes!!! Andrade falls to the outside. Humberto swing kicks Andrade down, then hits the ropes. He dives over the top rope onto Andrade and lands on his feet!

We return to Andrade using sex move #34 on Humberto. He turns it into a powerbomb then stomps Humberto in the corner. Andrade goes fo the double knees, but Humberto side steps. Andrade with a right to the back. Humberto lands on his feet, hits the ropes, and Andrade powerbombs his ass again. Andrade tries to grab the leg, but Humberto escapes. They go back and forth with some fancy footwork until Humberto kicks Andrade hard, then moonsaults onto Andrade. Cover for 1..2..NO!! Carrillo goes for a springboard, but Andrade kicks the ropes, and Humberto tumbles. Andrade covers for 1..2…NO!!!Andrade goes for the Hammerlock, but Humberto kicks, springboard, kicks again. Top rope.

Moonsault to Andrade. Cover but ZELINA flies in to drop an axe on Humberto!!! The ref calls for the DQ.

Winner: Andrade
Interesting follow up
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ***
Total Rating: **3/4

Humberto is pissed. He attacks Andrade, stomping him over and over then kicking him to the outside. He whips Andrade to the steps. Humberto grabs the mat padding and removes it. Zelina screams from the apron. Andrade drags Humberto over to the concrete. He locks the head. Humberto with a DDT to Andrade, to some massive cheers from the crowd. Not sure if that’s what they were going for…

Charlotte is here to baost about her win. She shows proof. She then says she doesn’t have an announcement as to who she will face because she is still thinking about it.

Asuka doesn’t seem to care, because she’s out here with her buddy. Asuka said that if she was in the Rumble last night, she would have won.

Charlotte wonders if this is a challenge.

Asuka and Sane attack Charlotte in response. Charlotte rolls out of the ring, and we go to break.

Match 6: Asuka vs Charlotte
We return to the bell ringing. Charlotte and Asuka go at it gor a bit before Charlotte chops Asuka a few times across the chest. Asuka hits the ropes and gets shoulder tackled for her troubles. I miss a good chunk of the match due to stream issues and return to Charlotte rushes Asuka in the corner. She hits a forearm to the face, then tries to drop a knee onto the leg of Asuka. Asuka moves though, goes for a bulldog, and gets tossed by Charlotte. Charlotte works the leg, presumably for the Figure Eight. Asuka with a go behind, she locks the leg, then works the arm and it looks like Asuka wants The Octopus. She gets it!! She pulls back on the arm of Charlotte. Asuka turns this into a rollup, but Charlotte rolls through and dropkicks Asuka. Chops to Asuka into the corner. Charlotte lifts Asuka onto the top buckle, climbs up alongside her, and grabs Asuka. Sane on the apron. Asuka shoves Charlotte off the top rope! Charlotte falls to the outside

We come back and Charlotte dropkicks Asuka. Asuka on the apron, hangs Charlote up, and re-enters the ring, only to eat a big ass boot from Charlotte. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Charlotte to the top rope. She goes for a moonsault, but asuka moves! She rolls up Charlotte and turns it into a submission, pulling back on the arm!!! Charlotte rolls out, but Asuka locks in a triangle! Charlotte is able to power out and lift Asuka in a move we’ve seen too many times. She slams Asuka down hard, covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Asuka kicks out! Charlotte goes for Natural Selection, Asuka moves, Charlotte hits the ropes, DOUBLE KNEES FROM THE RUNNING ASUKA!! PIN FOR 1..2….NO!!! Asuka sets up for the Asuka Lock, but Charlotte turns it into a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Ropes. SPEAR from Charlotte!!! 1…2….NO!!!!! Charlotte with the Figure Four out of nowhere! Asuka reaches for the ropes.

Charlotte looks for the Eight. She arches! It’s in! Sane on the top rope! She flies off with an elbow, and that causes a DQ.

Winner: Charlotte via DQ
Nice flurry at the end, just not interested in Charlotte
Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **1/2

Sane continues to beat down Charlotte until Charlotte sends her into the corner back first then hits a big boot. Asuka grabs Sane and pulls her out of the ring.

Backstage, The Street Profits continue to flirt with the line of annoying and funny. Tonight, they are closer to annoying.

Kelly Kelly joins them to point out their lack of originality. Ford brings up Mania and Edge and the 24/7 title.

Mojo Rawley is up next, but he’s not alone. He comes out with Riddick Moss, who is there to slap his ass in support.

Mojo says that this is no longer the hide and go seek championship. Anyone can get it any time, any place, it doesn’t matter. But like any franchise quarterback knows, you need a strong offensive lineman to watch your blindside, so he wants to introduce – for the first time ever – Riddick Moss. For anyone that wants to come and take the title from him, know that he’s about to be blocked.

Match 7: No Way Jose vs Mojo Rawley

Mojo defeats No Way Jose in short work.

Winner: Mojo Rawley
k…
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR

The dude who is the burger runs in the eing, rolls up Mojo, and gets the 1..2…3!!! It’s Truth. Mojo is upset, drops R-Truth with a move, and recaptures the title.

The more things change…

Lana is here.

Yay.

Match 8: Lana vs Liv Morgan
Liv starts with a lockup into the ropes, then a kick to the back and a cover for 1…NO! Liv hops onto the corner, but Lana shoves her off, and Liv tumbles down to the outside. Lana heads out to grab Liv and sends her back in the ring. She kicks away, but Lana kciks harder and covers for 1..2….NO! Lana grabs Liv, locks up for a suplex, hits it, then locks in a cravat from behind. Liv escapes, arm drags, and hits a hard clothesline. Another. A hair slam then a high kick to the back of the head. Liv stomps the bck of Lana In the corner an covers for 1..2..NO!!! Liv locks up for a suplex, but Lana locks the legs then rolls up for 1…2…NO!!!

Lana on the ropes. Liv with a Flatliner! Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Liv Morgan
Can this end? Please? Finally?
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

And of course, just as I ask for it to be over, King says, “I gotta feeling this is not over.”

Rowan has a match with a jobber here.

Edge is here, and he is hyped! He’s sticking with the hobo beard, and I love it.

As a performer, an athlete, an artist, and wrestlers are all of these, the reaction that we gave him last night and tonight, we have no idea what it means to him. It’s why they do this. Thank you, says Edge.

YOU STILL GOT IT chant elicits a “YA DAMN RIGHT I DO!”

Edge knows we are wondering how he is standing there. Nine years ago, he was medically disqualified from ever doing this again. He refused to live in a world of what-ifs. The second he asks what-if, the very next second, he gets to work making that what-if disappear. Over the years, he started to feel pretty good. He asked himself what-if. What if he came back home? SO he got to work. He got a second surgery, then he busted his ass. He got in the best shape of his life at 46 so he could step back in here and end his career on his terms. He entered in the Rumble and saw some familiar faces, some new faces, too. He brings up Orton by name, Reigns too, AJ as well. Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, Black, Riddle, the list goes on and on. He says hopefully he sees them down the road.

He’s not fooling himself; this might not last that long. He doesn’t know how long. But he hopes we all join him on this ride.

YES chant. Edge brings up that this is his first, and it’s pretty cool.

He admits to being a little older, a little grayer, having crows feet, but it’s the road map that got him here, and he has one thing that we can’t fake or fabricate, and he has GRIT. If we knock him down, he gets back up.

Orton’s music hits. Out he comes. He enters the ring and gives Edge a big ol hug. Orton backs up, asks for a mic, and Edge fights back tears.

Orton says he is somewhat of a self-destructive person – especially when he was younger. He says that there was one guy to bring up Orton when he dug himself too deep into some shitty situations. He welcomes Edge home. Edge is a brother to him; family. Last night, feeling that energy when the music hit, the chemistry that only they have; it was special. Orton has a what if for Edge.

What if Rated RKO got back together one more time?

RKO FROM ORTON!!!!!

Hahahahahahaha

Orton leaves the ring, grabs a chair, then heads back in. He smacks Edge across the lower back.

Orton puts Edge’s head in a chair. Orton heads to the top rope, thinks twice, hops down, leaves the ring, then grabs another chair. He drags Edge onto one chair, then hits a Conchairto to Edge.

End Show