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Well everyone it’s a new year and I’m glad we all made it to 2024. In the world of WWE Smackdown it’s time to kick things up a notch as the Royal Rumble is around the corner it’s time to start finalizing title matches and Rumble participants. On the title front UwU champion Roman Reigns will be on hand and there will be a triple threat match between Randy Orton, AJ Styles, and LA Knight to determine who gets the shot at Roman for the Rumble. I swear, if they have the Bloodline attack everyone just for Aldis to come out and make a Fatal 4-Way for the PPV I might scream, Roman is not that stupid a character and should not be falling into that particular trope. Of course that whole thing seems entirely perfunctory if The Rock is actually sticking around long enough to challenge Roman at WrestleMania, and poor Cody Rhodes and everyone who cared about him just feel like bigger and bigger chumps. As for the US title scene we’ll get Santos Escobar vs. Kevin Owens to cap off that particular tournament, the winner will try to take the title from Logan Paul at the Rumble. Michin will be getting a title shot tonight against Iyo Sky, and we’ll all pretend this isn’t because Charlotte Flair tore her knee to pieces a few weeks back, but is unlikely to get the belt here since Bianca Belair still seems to be the face taking on Damage Control. The Unholy Union of Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn showed up on TV a couple of weeks ago so we’ll see if anything comes of that. Rumors currently have it that the Authors of Pain and Paul Ellering are in town and might be joining forces with Karrion Kross, if true then one would assume they’ll take aim at the Street Profits and Bobby Lashley since that particular group has been floundering about for some direction for a while now. Lastly Butch will be looking for a partner to take on Pretty Deadly, and a lot of us are hoping for Tyler Bate and a British Strong Style reunion but we’ll have to wait and see. Anyway that’s the preamble, let’s get to the action and hope that Smackdown can get 2024 up and running with a good or even great show.

First we get a recap of The Rock burying Jinder Mahal and saying he wants to sit at the head of the table on RAW. I mean we’re just making the Rumble title defense even more of a lame duck at this point.

We cut to the garage where Roman Reigns arrives and Kayla finds him. She asks about the Rock, Roman just laughs and walks off.

To the ring for our first match. Kevin Patrick and Corey Graves on on commentary, good grief this might be the worst duo WWE could put together.

After Owens and Escobar have made their way to the ring Logan Paul shows up to join commentary.

Match #1 – US Title Tournament Final: Kevin Owens vs. Santos Escobar w/ Angel Garza and Humberto Carillo

Joaquin Wilde and Cruz del Toro jump through the crowd and brawl with Angel and Humberto to the back to make this a straight up match. Owens with a superkick then an cannonball in the corner. Owens up top, Frog Splash but only a 2 count. That sends us to break.

Owens is still in control as we come back, he lands a senton then heads up top for a Swanton Bomb but Escobar recovers and cuts him off on the top rope. Escobar snaps the arm of Owens over the ropes then on the floor slams it into the ring post, the once onto the apron for good measure. Back in the ring Escobar retains control and attacks the arm of Owens. Owens runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker then Escobar goes back after the arm of Owens. Escobar kicks the arm of Owens then hits a high knee in the corner and follows with a running hurricanrana. Suicide dive from Escobar connects, then he misses an attempt at throwing the arm of Owens into the ring post. Owens back into the ring and headbutts Escobar on the apron. Escobar heads up top and he and Owens fight over control, Escobar with some headbutts to send Owens down but his flying nothing runs into a Manhattan Drop then Owens follows up with a DDT and both men are down. Owens heads up top, Escobar joins him and they fight over the position but Escobar clearly hasn’t learned that you can’t superplex Owens as Owens predictably counters with his avalanche Fisherman’s Buster to put both of them down and send us to another commercial.

Owens headbutts Escobar as we come back, then Escobar snaps him across the ropes. Escobar gets sent to the apron, then Owens lands a superkick to send him to the floor, then Owens with a Swanton Bomb off the apron to the floor. Back in the ring Owens heads up top but Escobar uses the knees to block a Swanton Bomb. Esocbar with the double knees in the corner then an avalanche hurricanrana. Escobar up top again, he wants to try and end this and hits a Frog Splash but only a near fall. More strikes from Escobar then he and Owens fight on the ropes again. Owens knocks Escobar down but Escobar lands a kick then climbs up only for Owens to hit a middle rope Finlay Roll for another near fall. Escobar counters a Stunner with a School Boy for 2. Superkick from Owens, then a pop up powerbomb but Escobar counters with another hurricanrana but then he runs into a pop up powerbomb. Stunner from Owens finally ends things.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kevin Owens won in 16:51

Rating: 3.5 stars
Thoughts: Really good match, not surprising considering these two but the commercial breaks hurt this one. They could have probably hit 4 stars with a touch more editing in concept, a little less Logan distraction on the broadcast, and no commercials. But such is the perils of TV wrestling, these two turned in a darn good match and should be applauded for it.

Post match Logan gets a mic, and provides sarcastic congratulations and mocks the physique of Owens and brings up that Logan hasn’t broken a sweat while defending his title for 62 days. No Canadian will win the US title, and Logan then mocks the Canucks to some pretty serious heat. Logan gets face to face with Owens who just clobbers him with his cast and stands tall.

A brief highlight of Randy Orton to hype up our presumptive main event.

Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits head to the ring, they’re suited up and will have some talking time after this break. Sure would be a shame if someone interrupted their time.

Post break we’re reminded that Money in the Bank will be in Toronto this year.

In the back Logan Paul has a bag of ice on his face and gets asked by Cathy about his match with Owens, but here’s Austin Theory and Grayson Waller to make things worse. Cameron Grimes laughs his way into frame and gets shoved by Waller while team douchecanoe enter the trainers room.

Back to the ring everyone has a mic and Bobby welcomes everyone to the show, 30 minutes into it. Bobby says 2023 was tough for him, not because he didn’t work but because the work didn’t give him the results he wanted apart from joining forces with the Street Profits. Their resolution is to fight for and win everything they deserve this year. Ford tells us to listen to Bobby, and they’re about to hop on a trend. They’re going to skip the part where they think the grass is greener on the other side and get straight to taking every chance to capture gold. Dawkins thinks they need tag team gold. Bobby wants to get back to being the Almighty, oh sorry, All Mighty, and he’s in the Royal Rumble. The lights cut out and we see a Karrion Kross and Scarlett video, promising that we’ll see the vision. Kross and a now brunette Scarlett show up. Paul Ellering is there with them and the Authors of Pain jump Bobby and the Profits. Kross lays out Bobby on the floor then joins the AOP in the ring. Super Collider from the Authors, then Kross takes out Bobby with his new finisher which I don’t think they’ve officially named yet. Our new super group poses on the entrance stage to end that segment.

AJ Styles hype video now as we’re still hyping up the main event.

Michin has her own entrance music and heads to the ring and we get a break.

Post break Michin waits in the ring while we get a recap of the holiday gimmick match from two weeks ago when Michin pinned Iyo Sky to earn this shot. After that Iyo Sky heads to the ring with Damage Control, but the group stays on the ramp and let’s Iyo head down alone.

Match #2 – WWE Women’s Title Match: (c) Iyo Sky vs. Michin

Tie up, and Iyo uses the hair to get Michin into the corner then gives a clean break. Iyo avoids some offense but eventually Michin lands a kick. Some more acrobatics from both women and Iyo then hits a head scissors and seems pleased with herself. Michin with a backslide for 2, then a school boy for another 2 count and a dropkick to follow up. Some kicks from Michin then Iyo with a modified Victory Roll then hits a double stomp. Michin with the TJP hold in the ropes, she avoids a dive then hits her own suicide dive on the floor to send us to break.

Michin catches a kick as we come back, she lands a striking flurry then they botch a powerbomb spot so they redo it and Iyo avoids a powerbomb but runs into a knee strike. Gutwrench suplex from Michin then she takes the time to tie up her hair before hitting a cannonball senton in the corner for a 2 count that no one bit on. Iyo avoids Eat Defeat then lands a palm strike. Michin recovers and hits a Codebreaker out of the corner and a 2 count results, then she grabs a half Boston crab but Iyo is right by the ropes and quickly gets to them to break the hold. Iyo catches Michin between the ropes and snaps her leg down but when she tries a springboard dropkick Michin catches her with a right hand. On the apron Iyo avoids a move then hits a lovely bridging German suplex on the apron. Iyo follows up in the ring with her springboard dropkick, then Over the Moonsault but Michin kicks her out of the air to block and follows with a Dragon Suplex for a near fall. Michin tries a powerbomb but Iyo rolls free and hits a sort of running Meteora. Iyo jumps up top again but again Michin attacks her up there to cut her off. Michin up top now but another palm strike from Iyo. Iyo up top for an attempted hurricanrana but Michin stalls that and wants an avalanche Styles Clash which she hits but Iyo grabs the ropes to break the pin as she wasn’t kicking out of that one. Iyo rolls out of the ring, Michin tries another suicide dive but Iyo avoids her and Michin eats the floor. Meteora on the floor from Iyo, then one in the ring to set up Over the Moonsault and Iyo retains.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Iyo Sky retained the title in 10:20

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: As the kids say, they did not have to go that hard but they did. Michin absolutely got to look like she belonged in the ring with Iyo and I appreciate the avalanche Styles Clash not being kicked out of. Iyo winning was pretty much guaranteed but they did enough down the stretch to make Michin feel like a legitimate threat.

In the back Paul Heyman can talk, he says The Rock wants to sit at the head of the table but you need to be invited to that table by Roman. The Rock hasn’t been invited and he wont be, Rock is just trying to take a shortcut like everyone else. Roman wins a match out comes John Cena, out comes Brock Lesnar, Cody Rhodes is still talking about trying to finish his story, CM Punk returns after 10 years and looks to capture the old magic with Heyman, and tonight three men fight for the right to wrestle Roman at the Rumble. But Roman will smash whoever gets in the ring with him at the Rumble, and at WrestleMania. There’s not one man on the face of this planet that can beat Roman Reigns. Paul Heyman is still really good at this.

Pretty Deadly head to the ring, they’ll take on Butch and a mystery partner after this break.

Iyo walks with her belt in the back and the rest of Damage Control show up to celebrate with her. Bayley talks about the vision for all of them getting gold. Asuka and Kairi going for the tag team gold, and Bayley is still planning winning the Rumble. Bianca Belair shows up, she congratulates Iyo on her great match but warns Bayley and Belair is in the Rumble as well and will be winning it again and then she’ll take back her title from Iyo. Belair walks off and Dakota and Iyo tell Bayley that she needs to take care of Belair.

Back to the ring, here’s Butch who badly needs his own theme music. Butch hangs out on the entrance stage and then brings out Tyler Bate. Good choice.

Match #3 – Tag Team Match: Pretty Deadly (Elton Prince and Kit Wilson) vs. Butch and Tyler Bate

Wilson and Bate start, and Bate easily out wrestles Wilson early. Bate continues out wrestling Wilson and eventually lands a dropkick then poses. Prince tags in, as does Butch who sets up Bate for a splash. Butch and Prince run the ropes for a bit then Butch lands a clothesline to drop Prince. Wilson tries to get involved, Butch stomps his hand then he and Bate hit a choreographed double dive and stand tall as we head to break.

Prince is working a chinlock on Butch as we come back. Butch tries to fight out of the corner but runs into a boot from Prince, but Butch then hits a rolling release suplex and both men are down. Double tag and Bate gets to run wild for a bit including a flying uppercut for Wilson then an Exploder suplex for Prince and a standing Shooting Star Press as well. Bate with an Airplane Spin to Wilson, that goes for a while then he tags in Butch and they hit a double kick in the corner. Lariat and German suplex combination connects but Prince breaks up the tag. Bate jumps into a kick from Prince on the floor, then Prince shoves Butch off the tope and Wilson with a dirty roll up for 2. Butch avoids a Twist of Fate and grabs the fingers then snaps them as Bate tags in. Double Tyler Driver to Wilson ends things after Prince takes a Bop and Bang from Bate.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Butch and Tyler Bate won in 7:51

Rating: 2.5 stars
Thoughts: The crowd wasn’t very familiar with Bate when he came out but they were into this by the end. Bate and Butch winning was the right call and these two teams turned in a solid effort.

Next a hype package for LA Knight as each man in our main event got one and that sends us to break.

In the back Nick Aldis talks with Ashante the Adonis. Adonis doesn’t know what his place is here, but he’s hungry and wants an opportunity. Aldis doesn’t feel sorry for him, but does believe in him and has ideas for him.

Next week we’ll get Bianca Belair vs. Bayley and Cameron Grimes vs. Grayson Waller. Plus Angel and Humberto will beat up the LWO job squad to establish themselves once again on the main roster.

To the ring for our main event. AJ Styles is out first, and I’m still not sure that jacket he’s got is a good idea. LA Knight follows and gets another very good pop. Randy Orton is out last and I think gets the biggest pop of the three. No match start as we get a break before the first bell. They’re still gonna get about 20 minutes so we could get something really cool.

Match #4 – Triple Threat Match: AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton vs. LA Knight

We join the match in progress, just at the start I think as we’re doing the “take turns attacking each other” spot that usually opens this flavor of triple threat. Nick Aldis is ringside to observe. Knight and AJ trade strikes then Knight clotheslines AJ out of the ring only for Randy to dump him out as well. On the floor now Randy and Knight fight over bouncing each others heads off the desk, Knight gets the better of that then dishes several of them to AJ as well only for Randy to come back into frame and drop Knight on the table with that release back suplex. Randy then with one of those for AJ as well. The table is standing and Randy then hits Knight with another one, but when he tries AJ again AJ counters and hits Randy with that same release back suplex. Aldis seems displeased to see the man he ran out of TNA succeeding. AJ tosses Knight into the ring steps then sends Randy back into the ring. AJ tries the Phenomenal Forearm but Randy takes out his legs on the ropes to block it. Randy wants the hanging DDT on AJ and hits it. Randy now sets for the RKO on AJ, but Knight pulls him out of the ring and launches him into the ring steps. Knight hangs around while AJ gets into position, then AJ hits a flying dropkick through the ropes to drop Knight and send us to a break.

AJ and Knight are in the ring as we come back. Sliding forearm from AJ connects and we see Randy on the outside recovering. Randy pulls himself up to the apron where AJ punches him back to the floor. Knight attacks AJ but then runs into a Kitchen Sink knee lift. AJ with a back suplex to Knight for a 2 count. Randy is on the apron again and AJ kicks him back to the floor. AJ moves to the floor with Randy and starts striking away at him then bounces him off the barricade a few times. AJ then tries a Sunset Flip on Knight but Knight counters into a rana pin for a 2 count. Knight with a jawbreaker then Randy snaps AJ off the ropes. Jabs from Knight then he stomps on AJ in the corner. Randy shows back up but Knight out strikes him then hits a Russian leg sweep. Knight with a knee strike to AJ in the corner then a back body drop to him as well. Randy levels Knight with some clotheslines then a snap powerslam, and another one for AJ. The crowd is with Randy but Knight blocks the RKO and hits the Blunt force Trauma on Randy only for AJ to stop the ref from making the 3 count. Knight is pissed because he had that won, so he starts striking with AJ and they trade rights until AJ lands a flurry and a Pele kick to finally halt the run from Knight. Rib breaker from AJ to Knight then he wants the springboard 450 and hits it but Knight kicks at 2.5 and Knight looks like he’s busted open. Might have been AJ’s elbow when he landed that just caught Knight if it’s hardway. Knight avoids a Styles Clash and AJ tosses him out of the ring to deal with Randy. AJ wants the Phenomenal Forearm but he flies into an RKO from Randy but Knight pulls the ref out of the ring to stop that count. A bloody Knight pulls himself into the ring, as here comes Roman Reigns with Solo and Jimmy in tow. The Bloodline send Solo in the ring and everyone starts brawling.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest in about 16 minutes

Rating: 3 stars
Thoughts: This was going more towards 4 star territory before that ending, but I really really hate this wrestling trope so much I had to knock it down. These three are all pretty darn good and this being a good match shouldn’t be a surprise.

Solo tosses Knight out of the ring and gets the ring steps then Jimmy tosses Randy into them. Roman starts trash talking Aldis as I’m incredibly disappointed at Roman’s character being this stupid. Roman with a sick powerbomb to AJ then tosses him out of the ring. Knight is sent into the ring next and Roman floors him with a Superman punch then follows with a Spear. Randy is up next, he takes the combination Spear and Spike from Roman and Solo.

Predictably Aldis talks with Heyman and tells him to warn Roman that he just earned a Fatal 4-Way at the Rumble. Ugh, I really hate this trope, especially for a smart character like Roman. Anyway that ends the episode.