Mid-South Wrestling (4.28.1984) Review

-Originally aired April 28, 1984.

-Your host is Jim Ross, and ooh, la, la, we have a new set for commentary this week.

-Also, tickets are going on sale for the next Superdome show, and there’s going to be a Super Date at the Superdome contest for women who want to go on a dream date with the Rock & Roll Express. Here are the rules:

#1. You MUST be female.
#2. You MUST be single.
#3. You MUST be legal age.

-What is this, Russia?

-Bill Watts talks to Terry Taylor. Rules are rules and Terry is being fined $2,500 for his run-in during the incident between Jim Duggan and the Russians last week. $2,500 is a lot of money, and he knows he broke a rule, but by god, if he had to do it again, he’d still come to Duggan’s aid.

-Jim Cornette is feeling generous! Week after week, the same guys get all the high-profile bouts and all the title matches, so this week, Cornette, on behalf of the Midnight Express, has signed open contracts to give title shots to three tag teams in a single hour, so this week on Mid-South, we’re going to have THREE Tag Team Title matches. Buuuuuut Cornette has insisted on a few things. Here are the rules:

#1. Not Stagger Lee & Bill Watts because the Midnights have already kicked Bill Watts’ ass.
#2. Not Terry Taylor because he’s injured.
#3. Not Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Magnum TA because they’re already scheduled to have matches this week and it wouldn’t be fair to make them wrestle again.
#4. Not Steve Williams because he’s not in the building.
#5. Not the Rock & Roll Express because…and Cornette kind of trails off because he doesn’t really have a valid reason for denying them a match. But it’s just not going to be the Rock & Roll Express.
#6. You must be legal age…wait…

TAG TEAM TITLES: MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (Champions, with Jim Cornette) vs. GREG KOSLAV & JASON WACKER
-Bonus points to the director and the cameraman for the dramatic slow-pan to reveal the jobbers challenging for the titles. It’s too bad it’s 1984 because I can sense that not being able to say anything about Jason Wacker is killing Cornette on the inside.

-Midnights have their way with Wacker and Bill Watts is just thoroughly aggravated that Mid-South signed off on allowing the Midnight Express sanction their own title matches this week because obviously it’s going to be three jobber tag teams and this is a total waste of everyone’s time. Condrey finishes with a second-rope powerslam. One title match down, two title matches to go.

TAG TEAM TITLES: MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (Champions, with Jim Cornette) vs. JOHN KING & TONY TORRES
-Midnights do calisthenics during the intros because the first match wasn’t much of a workout. King takes an ass-kicking while Bill Watts points out that Alfred Neely is back as referee this week, and we get some insight into the referee’s life, as Neely is promoting spot shows for the company now and started his own business, and he’s back to referee matches just a side gig while he has all this other stuff going on in his life.

-Midnight Massacre finishes King with ease. Torres wasn’t even able to tag in.

-Bill Watts reveals that during the previous commercial break, Grizzly Smith emerged to ask if the same rules will apply for the Dream Date with Grizzly Smith contest, and then to give Bill a heads-up about the contract for title match #3. It was supposed to be another jobber team, but Mr. Wrestling and Mr. Wrestling II bought the contract and Grizzly approved the purchase, so the Midnights and Cornette don’t know that they have actual challengers for the next match. Also, Watts points out that Mr. Wrestling has a score to settle with the Midnights from his waning days as a babyface, so something might go down after these messages.

-Back from commercial, Boyd Pierce drops the bombshell and announces Mr. Wrestling and Mr. Wrestling II as the challengers for the next match. Cornette protests on the grounds that he gave a list of exceptions…and then suddenly realizes that Mr. Wrestling and Mr. Wrestling II never occurred to him, so he didn’t put them on the list.

TAG TEAM TITLE: MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (Champions, with Jim Cornette) vs. MR. WRESTLING & MR. WRESTLING II
-So the challengers head into the ring wearing the masks and robes, but when they take off the robes, they’re wearing long blue tights with rags & ribbons around them and there’s no mistaking these two. The masks come off and yep, it’s the Rock & Roll Express.

-Robert Gibson with a HIGH dropkick on Eaton, followed by flying headscissors. Dennis Condrey tags in and takes over with a shot to the abdomen. Eaton hurries back in with a backbreaker and a rear chinlock, and the crowd is going nuts with the Rock & Roll chant.

-Referee gets distracted long enough for Gibson to get thrown over the top rope. Midnights try to finish with the Massacre, but Ricky Morton kicks free and ties up Condrey while Robert Gibson comes in and superplexes Eaton for the three-count, and the fans come unglued as the Rock & Rolls get three and capture the Tag Team Titles. Match was too short to really be anything special, but the angle and the payoff were great.

TV TITLE: KRUSHER KRUSCHEV (Champion) vs. MAGNUM T.A.
-TA gets an amateur takedown and works the arm over. Sleeper by Magnum, but Krusher dives to the ropes and causes TA to lose his grip and tumble to the floor. Back in, referee gets bumped right as TA hits the belly-to-belly. Alfred Neely is so woozy that he counts three but can’t signal for the bell before Kruschev powers out and lands on top, knocking Neely even loopier. Krusher whips out a coal miner’s glove and knocks Magnum out cold, and when Neely regains his bearings, he doesn’t count the pin, he just calls for the bell right there and gives Krusher the win. Okay, I get WHAT they were going for with that finish, but it didn’t land at all. I don’t think anyone in the building buys into the idea that Alfred would forget that he counted to three.

STAGGER LEE vs. “Nature Boy” BUDDY LANDELL
-Stagger hits the Thump right away and gets the three-count in seconds.

-After the bell, Butch Reed hits the ring with a bucket of paint, and Landell hangs onto Stagger Lee while Reed knocks him out cold with a shot from the top rope and them paints him yellow.

-We flash back to last week, when Jim Duggan got his American beard shaved off. Bill Watts emphasizes that in America, we have freedom of lifestyle, and Duggan is incensed because he should be allowed to have a beard.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. JERRY GRAY
-Duggan marches to the ring with the American flag. Duggan without the beard is interesting. He’s totally clean-shaven, but you’re so used to seeing him with the beard that your brain auto-corrects the image, and you’d swear he still has it as you’re watching the match.

-Jobber tries a sneak attack, but Duggan shakes it off and spears him immediately. Very, uh, efficient matches this week.

-The real Mr. Wrestling and Mr. Wrestling II are here. Mr. Wrestling says his car was broken into early this morning and now he knows what happened! Mr. Wrestling goes on an epic grouchy-old-fart rant about how the Rock & Roll Express smokes dope and pops pills, and Watts cuts him off and takes him to task for slander.

MIKE JACKSON vs. RANDY BARBER
-Mr. Wrestling is still pissed off and storms into the ring, demanding that the Rock & Rolls get out here right now. Boyd says they have a match scheduled and they aren’t going to call this off just because Mr. Wrestling is mad, so Mr. Wrestling II just beats the hell out of both jobbers, whipping them into each other and slamming them on top of each other like he’s working a handicap match. Watts is dismayed that the referee is just letting it play out like it’s a sanctioned match and finally just yells for guys to get in there and break it up.

-Dr. Death is on his way back, and we get a highlight reel in anticipation.

-Jim Ross is in the ring with the Rock & Roll Express and absolutely every teenage girl in the building. JR announces the rules for the contest, reminding us to send in photos of ourselves and that Ricky & Robert like to party. It’s a miracle that nothing about this went hideously wrong.

7.1

The final score: review Good

The 411

TV Title match kind of fell on its ass but the rest of the show worked for me.