Mt Rushmore: Halloween Havoc – Part 1 (The Bad)

Here in the Mt Rushmore series we aim to to showcase the 4 most important entries of a certain topic. It’s not necessarily what is the best, or most appropriate, but based on a number of things. There for, these shouldn’t be considered the best of said topic, but perhaps the most important.

Greetings, all.

Well, since it’s October, I was going to go with the easy lay-up of Halloween Havoc matches. However, as I was going through the shows, I realized there is some classic, classic crap featured at these PPVs. I mean, all time-greats. So, I figured what the hell, we’ll throw caution to the wind and do a 2 parter: The worst & the best of Halloween Havoc.

In regards to my last entry, Hell in a Cell, I want to thank everyone that pointed out my mistake of stating Shawn was champ during his HIAC match with The Undertaker. That was an obnoxiously stupid screw up, as if there’s a time a wrestling fans should know who the champ is, it’s the month before Montreal. So, my mistake, and I’ll aim to be more careful in the future.

As always, throw out some ideas of what you’d like to see discussed here at Mt Rushmore, and if chosen, then it shall be, and you’ll get the credit for it. I mean, talk about something you can put on your resume! I always have a few of my own ideas chambered and ready to role, but next week is gonna be a fan suggestion, so, let your boy know what you’re digging on.

Alrighty, let’s get it….

El Gigante, Rick & Scott Steiner, Sting vs Cactus Jack, Abdullah, Diamond Studd, Vader – Chambers of Horror Match – Halloween Havoc 1991
Two things…this match features the Refer-EYE Camera. Basically, the ref wears a helmet with a camera mounted on it, and immediately as the match starts, Rick Steiner attempts to start a chainsaw. It doesn’t work, which is a shame, cause I would have been real interested in how someone would sell that. Sadly, that’s the highlight of the match. A few minutes after the match starts, they lower this electric chair into the ring, giving EIGHT freaking guys no room to work. And it ain’t like it’s crusierweights in here, it’s some of the biggest guys in wrestling history. It’s a complete cluster fuck, with a shit-ton of hard-camera shots, because they can’t get cameras in there, resulting in a lot of you-have-no-damn-clue-whats-going-on. Now, for those who don’t know, the way you win is someone going into the chair and being electrocuted after someone flips the switch. Now, because it’s WCW, after the initial shot of the giant switch, the second time we see it, which is a GIANT close up of it, shows the switch in the ON position. Absolutely brilliant. The end of the match sees Rick Steiner in the chair, with Abdullah keeping him in it. Cactus Jack sees this, gives the “Bang bang” and looks to throw the switch. However, Rick Steiner does a belly-to-belly and puts Abdullah in the chair, at which point Jack throws the switch, thinking Steiner is still in it. Sounds alright. However, the time in between when Jack is just about to throw it, and finally does, is literally about a minute, because it takes Steiner so freaking lock to get Abdullah set in. Holy shit, this wasn’t just bad, this was flat out fucking stupid.
Sting’s team wins when Abdullah is electrocuted at 12:13 | DUD
Why It’s On The Mountain: If shitty gimmick matches had a mascot, this would be it. Where to begin as to why this match earned it’s placement…well, how about having 8 guys in a cage match, with a mini-cage taking up all the ring space, and coffins taking up the floor space! Anything that does happen you can’t see, despite the stupid Refer-eye camera. Then of course we have that stupid switch, and WCW’s director making sure we saw that the switch was down, and then we’re to believe Abdullah has been electrocuted into unconsciousness. OK.

Hulk Hogan vs The Giant – Sumo Monster Truck
They literally put this on PPV. 2 guys driving backward and forward for 30 minutes. People will say it wasn’t 30 minutes, more like 3 or 4, but they’re wrong. This match was at least 3 hours long. Giant loses, gets pissed, attacks Hogan, Giant falls off the roof. The Giant falls off the fucking roof. Honestly, the most insulting part of all this is not that we had to watch a Sumo Monster Truck match, or that The Giant fell off the roof, no, it’s that Bobby Heenan goes into super-serious mode, and acts like what we just saw was real. Because of him being the son of Andre, Bobby clearly has an affection for him, and thus why he’s so emotionally devastated. Man, is this fucking stupid.

Hulk Hogan [C] vs The Giant – WCW Heavyweight Title – Halloween Havoc 1995
Naturally, The Giant is alive, and not even wet. I mean, they could have at least hit him a few times with a spray bottle, cripes. They start off with Hogan trying to get the Giant off his feet, but his punches, nor bodyslam result in the desired affect. After that, Giant tries to escape, and Hogan brings him back in for, and I shit you not, punching, and eye-rakes. That’s IT. We then go to a bear hug spot that legit eats up about 5 minutes. Yes. 5 minutes of The Giant hugging Hulk Hogan. FIVE. MINUTES. After that we go into the Hogan finish, which goes exactly like you know, except after the Leg Drop, Hart hits the ref with the belt. Except no one saw it, so Hogan is wondering what’s up, until Hart crosses him, distracts him, and the Giant gets him back into the Bear Hug of Seemingly Impending Doom. Now, you’re thinking, it can’t get worse than someone hugging Hogan in the middle of the ring….WRONG. When TWO people are hugging Hogan, and one of those is a 7’ft mummy referred to as the YETAY. Not only does he hug him, he shakes while doing it. It’s…it’s literally the oddest, stupidest thing I’ve EVER seen in pro-wrestling. It is absolute insanity. I cannot believe that adults stood around and booked this. ADULTS decided that this needed to be on TV. They said “OK, so, the Giant’s scariest movie is gonna be a hug, and eventually a giant mummy is gonna come out, hug Hogan, and shake while he does it?” “Yup!” “Awesome! Let’s get it in the ring!”. Wow. This is absolutely mind-blowing. Always has, always will.
Hulk Hogan is DQ’ed at 14:30 | -*****
Why It’s On The Mountain: In my opinion, this is the GOAT of bad-wrestling. Especially when you combine it with the sumo-monster truck ordeal. I mean…wow. Just take it all in for a second. The monster truck ordeal would be enough, since that alone is really stupid, but then the Giant FALLS off the fucking building, and survives, with zero explanation. Once he makes it to the ring, we get a God-awful match that drags and drags, before we then get the greatest moment in terrible wrestling, THE YETAY. I needn’t say anymore.

Hulk Hogan vs The Warrior – Halloween Havoc 1998
It’s about 3 minutes into the match before the boos start. They’re doing the knuckle-lock-struggle-for-power spot literally 3 minutes into the match. Really? We need a rest spot 3 minutes into the fucking match?! Then they do the same arm-ringer spot they did 3 minutes ago, followed by a weird ass spot where they just run the ropes before Hogan stops and bodyslams Warrior. What the HELL was that?! We then get our nWo run in due to the ref being out. We then get our spot with the fireball, which is one of the all time great fuck-ups. It’s great to then see the Warrior say to Hogan afterward “You’re fucking it up!”. Yeah, cause if that fireball spot had hit, 6 stars. Afterward, Warrior hits 2 off-the-top-rope axe-handles, but each time he comes down, he just places his hand flat on Hogan’s head. Almost every move they do looks like they were done by an amateur. It’s so clumsy, so ridiculous, and so beautifully, perversely, entertaining. One of the all time great bad-matches. Where’s you have terrible shit like Jake vs Sting, which is just bad & boring, this is bad but insanely entertaining at the same tine. Of course, Horace Hogan comes down and swerves no one by hitting Warrior, allowing Hogan to get the pin. Afterward, they attempt to burn him to death, which, as a fan, you see this attempt and go “Yeah, 50/50 chance he’s burned alive”.
Hogan wins after Warrior is hit with a chair at 14:18 | -*****
Why It’s On The Mountain: C’mon, how could this not be included? Now, for me, there’s two types of bad wrestling matches. There’s Hogan vs Giant, which is just boringly bad, then there’s this. Hogan vs Warrior is so enjoyably bad that I dare say I love it. It’s clumsy, awkward, slow, and flat-out ridiculous. Some of the most ridiculous spots ever are here, such as the Log Roll, the Off The Top Rope Head Pat, and of course, the fireball. A perfect bad-match.

Sting vs Jake The Snake Roberts – Coal Minor’s Glove Match – Halloween Havoc 1992
Holy crap was this match boring as all hell. You bring in a guy like Jake to work with Sting, in a top feud, building up the PPV with the “spin the wheel”, in which a ton of cool match stips are featured, and we get the Coal Miner’s Glove Match. Something NO ONE has heard of. Or cares about, since the match is No DQ. I mean, why even bother getting that stupid glove when you can just get a chair, or a bat? Nothing of any interest happens in this match, as they work a very standard, and boring, house show type of match. Eventually, Jake hits the DDT, which Sting sells for about 2 seconds, at which point Cactus Jack brings out Jake’s cobra, which Jake pretends has bit him in the face, holding it there until eventually it actually did. However, while he was pretending being bit, Sting hit Jake in the ass with the loaded glove and pinned him. Fuck this was so stupid. Honestly, I felt very bad for the snake. I don’t like snakes, but I imagine this was pretty terrible for him. Being scared enough to attack, then Jake’s bloated ass rolling on top of him, geez.
Sting wins after hitting Jake in the ass with the loaded glove at 10:34 | *
Why It’s On The Mountain: This was a match that happened during the time Dusty lost his fucking mind and started doing all these ridiculous movies to go along with the matches. In this case, it was Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal. Now, you’re thinking, yes, this is insane, but at least the match will be great. Yeah, that’s a no. This match is super slow, super boring, and absolutely no one in the crowd cares. It’s a ridiculous stipulation, and a completely asinine and goofed finish. A terrible build, a terrible match, a terrible finish, absolutely it belongs here.

Alright, gang, thanks for joining me this week, I’ll see you next time. Now let’s all meet in the comments section for a drink.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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