The Name on the Marquee: Madison Square Garden Presents the WWF (1.25.1988)

-It’s January 25, 1988.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Bobby Heenan. Funny to hear Vince busting on Alfred for doing such an awkward sell of the main event. “Don’t get the people TOO excited, Alfred.” Meanwhile, they realize in mid-intro that they have three commentators and two headsets, so we take a break before the first match.

SCOTT CASEY vs JOSE ESTRADA
-Estrada armdrags Casey and hiptosses him. They trade arm wringers and Casey returns all of the offense that Estrada’s dished out so far. Top wristlock by Estrada, but Casey counters it with a drop toehold as Vince surprises me on commentary by demonstrating that he knows who U2 are.

-Hammerlock by Casey, and they stay on the mat for a bit. Estrada gets tired of that and gives Casey the ol’ thumb to the eye. Chop from the second rope gets two for Estrada. Estrada goes to the second rope again, but Casey’s ready for him so he thinks better of it and climbs down. Casey goes back to work on the arm as some fan in the crowd is trying to top the annoying megaphone woman from the Royal Rumble by making siren noises periodically during the match.

-We stay with more mat work until both men suddenly get fired up and trade chops. Piledriver out of nowhere by Casey but it only gets two. Forearms by Estrada, and he throws Casey out to the floor. Casey tries to re-enter but Estrada shoulder rams him, and Casey takes a pretty nice bump from it. Casey gets revved up and lets out a scream as he re-enters. Estrada ducks a bodypress and goes for a neckbreaker, but Casey grabs the ropes to block the move, and a shoulderbreaker gets three. 0 for 1. These guys had all the moves but no energy to what they were doing at all.

SAM HOUSTON vs DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS
-Houston comes to the ring to “Midnight Rider,” which was suspected to be a rib on Dusty Rhodes.

-Danny Zbyszko stalls for a while. Houston tries a spot where he leapfrogs the referee to get to Davis, but he crashes full-balls onto the referee’s neck to ruin the effect and the commentators can’t figure out an explanation for how this didn’t get a DQ immediately.

-Wristlock by Houston. He stays on the arm for a bit until Davis gets free, but Danny falls victim to an atomic drop and we’re back to the armbar. Davis ducks a charge and Houston goes soaring over the top rope and crashes onto the floor in a crazy spot. He bravely re-enters the ring and Danny keeps assaulting him.

-Houston tries to fight back with an Irish whip, but he crashes on the corner charge. Davis just keeps beating on Houston, slamming him and dropping an elbow for two. Davis complains to the referee about the sluggish count before connecting with a flying clothesline. He gets into an argument with the referee, again bitching about the slow count. Houston sneaks up on him and rolls him up, and this time the referee counts faster and Houston gets the win. 1 for 2. Davis was motivated for once and the finish was pretty cute.

JUNKYARD DOG vs “The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Slick)
-Bobby says that “Jive Soul Bro” was his favorite song on the Piledriver album, and Vince is irked that he didn’t pick “Stand Back.” There is a VERY vocal pro-Reed contingent in the crowd tonight, and Slick gets a huge pop when he starts dancing during the entrance.

-Dog attacks Reed right away, and a big right hand sends him over the top rope. JYD goes out there for a brawl and rams Reed into the post. Reed goes back into the ring and JYD headbutts him in the chest repeatedly and boots him out to the floor. Back in, JYD starts working the arm, but Slick passes a weapon into the ring and Reed dazes JYD with it.

-Rapid-fire punches by Reed, and he chokes Dog out. Elbow by Reed, followed by a legdrop. He stunguns the Dog for a two-count. He heads to the second rope but comes down right to JYD’s fist. Slugfest is won by JYD. Crawling headbutts by the Dog, including one for Slick, so Slick avenges it by tricking JYD into coming outside and chasing him. Slick runs into the ring, Dog gets his hands on him, but Reed sneaks up and rolls Dog up for three. 2 for 3. This was as good as could be hoped for. Dog wasn’t motivated at this point, so Reed rolled up his sleeves and carried the match, not resting for a moment and making it something worthwhile.

OMAR ATLAS vs DUSTY WOLFE
-Dusty Wolfe, who was always a pretty anonymous jobber, surprises all three commentators by showing up in a pink silk robe with a feathered boa sewn to it.

-Atlas atomic drops Wolfe to start and goes to work on his arm. I like Atlas a lot ever since hearing Jesse’s story of his first match, where he was told that he was doing a job to Atlas and then Atlas went out there and made him look like a million damn dollars and made his own win over Jesse look like a fluke.

-Top wristlock by Dusty as Bobby plugs his appearance on David Letterman’s 6th Anniversary Special, which ended up being a hilarious story that Heenan told in his book about Heenan going off-script and cutting a promo that Dave wasn’t prepared for, and pretty much stopping the show cold. Dusty is still working the arm. Omar turns it around while Vince pretends not to know who Terry Garvin is and asks Bobby Heenan about this self-defense school that he keeps hearing so much about.

-Dusty applies a chinlock as Vince makes a weird announcement, saying that the main event was supposed to be the next match, but due to some incident happening with Andre the Giant backstage, they’re changing the order of the matches. Wonder what happened there?

-Omar applies a chinlock and everyone is just done with this match, with the commentators predicting the winners of the other matches on the card and MSG booing the shit out of both guys. Wolfe dodges a dropkick and goes for a slam, but Atlas counters with a sunset flip for three. 2 for 4. No chemistry here.

“The Rock” DON MURACO (with Superstar Billy Graham) vs ONE MAN GANG (with Slick)
-Gang tries to attack but Muraco is ready with right hands and an Irish whip. Rock trips Gang and starts going to work on his leg and the crowd is going nuts at the sight of Gang being taken off his feet this fast. Muraco keeps hammering him. Muraco works the leg so thoroughly that Gang is unable to walk, collapsing as soon as he tries to stand up. Toehold by Muraco to continue working the leg. Meanwhile, Slick goes to the commentary table, freaking out because Billy doesn’t have a manager’s license and shouldn’t be here.

-Muraco applies a figure four, but Gang manages to get to the ropes fairly quickly. He gets back to his feet but Muraco kicks the leg repeatedly. Gang retreats into the corner for a breather, but Muraco puts him into shattered dreams position and just keeps booting the crap out of the big man. Gang finally fights back with elbows and clubbing forearms.

-Gang gets Muraco down to his knees, but Muraco just starts punching Gang’s leg. Gang punches and stomps the Muraco, and they trade punches, with Muraco dazing Gang and dropkicking him. Muraco applies a sleeper. Slick goes up to the apron for the distraction, but Superstar Graham goes over there and picks a fight. NWA-caliber camerawork completely misses Butch Reed running in, attacking Muraco, and Gang falling on top of him to get the three-count. Post-match, Slick and his men mount a three-on-one attack on Graham, freaking out the crowd, but Muraco recovers and makes the save. 3 for 5. Red hot match that told a good story and set the table for a rematch pretty well.

-Next up is a weird segment where Vince McMahon calls the Islanders, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and Butch Reed to the ring one at a time to conduct interviews with them and none of them really have anything to say. Did someone’s flight get delayed?

HULK HOGAN & BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Oliver Humperdink) vs “The Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE & VIRGIL (with Andre the Giant)
-Bobby Heenan dashes away from the commentary table to shake hands with DiBiase and relay some instructions to Andre.

-Heels attack during the entrance but get Irish whipped into each other, and DiBiase winds up trapped in the ring as the legal man. Hogan rams him from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, and Bam-Bam gives DiBiase head, in a manner of speaking.

-Hogan rubs DiBiase’s face into the mat, prompting an objection from the referee, and Hogan defends his actions by rubbing his fingers together for the “money” signal. You’ve convinced me! DiBiase gets pinballed in the corner and Virgil gets knocked off the apron. That’ll teach him to stand in the corner for a tag team match!

-Hogan bounces off the ropes and Andre trips him. DiBiase pounces and chokes out Hogan. Virgil tags in for the first time tonight and comes off the top with an axehandle. Andre takes advantage of some distraction while Hogan gets choked out by Andre. DiBiase sends Hulk over the top rope and rams him into the barricade, and Andre helpfully tosses him back inside.

-Virgil re-enters continues the beating on Hogan, and the crowd has no idea what to do at this point because “Big-e-low” isn’t a totally natural sounding chant for them. DiBiase clamps on a headlock, but Hogan elbows free. He teases a comeback, but a double-clothesline sends both men to their respective corners. Virgil makes the tag and so does Bigelow, to a roof-shaking pop. Bam-Bam press slams Virgil and goes for a pin, but DiBiase sneaks in to try and break it. Bam-Bam sees it coming and moves, so DiBiase accidentally elbows Virgil, and then Hogan sneaks it with a stealth legdrop. Splash by Bam-Bam, who GETS THE PIN! Holy shit, that’s generous for a Hogan tag team match!

-After the bell, Andre attacks and Hogan goes out of the ring. Bigelow sneaks up on Andre and dropkicks him, and Hogan runs back in with a chair to clear the ring. 4 for 6. Fun match!

YOUNG STALLIONS vs STEVE LOMBARDI & BARRY HOROWITZ
-Roma is all bandaged up after last night and Heenan is irked because people care more than he cared. Stallions unknowingly have their fate sealed on commentary when Heenan sincerely tries to put them over by saying “They’re saying this could be the tag team of the 1990s.” Vince replies, “Who said THAT?!”

-Powers works the arm of Horowitz. Roma tags in and applies a wristlock before Powers comes back in and cradles for two. Lombardi tags in and runs right into a slam. Leg trip/elbow combo by the Stallions and this crowd is just completely napping after the previous bout. Hiptoss by Roma, and he goes to work on the arm. Powers tags in and takes his turn at working the arm. Bodypress by Roma gets two. Roma wrings the arm and in comes Powers and this match is just lying there and dying.

-Lombardi blocks a monkeyflip and Horowitz tags in, punching Powers and dropping a leg for a one-count. Chinlock applied by Horowitz. Powers escapes but something happens that the camera misses and Horowitz gutwrenches him for two. Every fan in the arena gets up one at a time to go to the bathroom, buy some souvenirs, go to the hot dog stand, and call home, and once they’ve all done so, Horowitz releases the hold, and they collide on a shoulderblock.

-Hot tag to Roma to no reaction from the crowd whatsoever and he cleans house. Powerslam by Powers ends this slog. 4 for 7.

NESTLE CRUNCH OF THE NIGHT
-Bam-Bam’s press slam of Virgil is a thing that you saw earlier tonight. The best part is Vince has already forgotten the finish of that match and is surprised when Hulk doesn’t drop the leg to get the win.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs KING HARLEY RACE (with Bobby Heenan)
-Duggan Irish whips Race and follows with a clothesline, but not the big clothesline. Thoughts that don’t occur to you when you watch these matches as a kid: Why didn’t Duggan just do the big clothesline EVERY time he wanted a clothesline?

-Race gets whipped into the turnbuckle and onto the floor, and I actually like his version of that bump better than Flair’s. Back inside, Duggan whips him again, this time shoulder-first into the post. Race goes to the apron to recover, but Duggan clotheslines him backwards back into the ring. Double-shoulderblock knocks Duggan to the mat, and Race’s body bounces off the ropes and causes him to fall head-first onto Duggan’s balls (or his knee, if you’re as well-schooled in anatomy as Vince McMahon seems to be tonight).

-Duggan recovers and hammers away at the king. Kneedrop misses and Race capitalizes…with punches to the face. What’s crazy is that Duggan is limping all over the ring like he’s trying to give Race a hint. Race takes him out to the floor and goes for a falling headbutt, but Duggan misses goes Race eats the concrete. Back inside, Race knocks Duggan back outside.

-King keeps throwing headbutts to stop Duggan from getting back inside, so Duggan crawls under the ring to sneak in behind Race’s back and clotheslines him. Shoulderblock takes Race to the floor. Race gets back in and tosses Duggan outside this time. He heads to the top and comes off with a bodypress, but Duggan rolls through and gets three out of nowhere to win. 5 for 8. Bungled knee psychology and out-of-nowhere finish mar this one a little bit, but both guys were feeling it and I liked a different sort of storytelling here—these guys are just going to keep knocking each other out of the ring until, dammit, it works for one of them.

HILLBILLY JIM vs OUTLAW RON BASS
-Bass attacks from behind before the bell. Jim comes to life with a headbutt and a big boot. Splash off the ropes gets two. Bass goes to get his whip as an equalizer but Jim acts quickly and grabs it, and Bass teases walking off while the referee argues with Jim about surrendering the whip. If I remember my ‘80s WWF, that means that Saturday Night’s Main Event will continue after this.

-Bass offers Jim a side headlock, having something in mind, but Jim holds onto it tighter than he expected and Bass is stuck in the hold. Jim releases and Bass chokes him over the top rope to take over. Bass hammers him until Jim fights back to his feet. Jim takes a page from the Jerry Lawler playbook by unbuckling one of the straps on his overalls, but he misses a splash and Bass acts quickly with the pedigree to finish this clean as a sheet. 6 for 9. Nothing special but it was short by house show standards and both guys kept it moving.

-Howard Finkel runs down the card for February 22 at MSG. “In the main event, The Million Dollar Man will face Bam-Bam Bigelow!” Howard should have just followed that by saying, “So…you should consider that a hint.”

BRITISH BULLDOGS vs ISLANDERS (with Bobby Heenan)
-Bobby walks to the ring with one of those gag leashes that has an empty collar at the end.

-Islanders attack but Bulldogs turn it around and whip them into each other. Dynamite and Tama start the match proper and Dynamite piledrives him for two. Dynamite slingshots Tama and Haku times his attempted help terribly so Tama rams into him instead of the turnbuckles, and Haku falls out to the floor.

-Everybody tags and Davey Boy and Haku collide on a shoulderblock without budging. Bodypress by Davey Boy gets two. Davey works the arm. Dynamite comes in and stomps the shoulder, and Davey heads back in to wring the arm. Haku just punches him right between the eyes and Tama comes in to headbutt Davey down. Davey’s in trouble and the Islanders begin switching off to beat on him. Double teaming ensues, but Davey Boy elbows Haku down on an attempted backdrop and tags out.

-Dynamite takes on both Islanders and clotheslines Haku for two. Kneedrop off the second rope (and the camera gets the worst possible angle and Dynamite landed about a foot away) gets two. Chop to the throat stops Dynamite and now the Islanders go to work on him. Dynamite dazes Haku with a headbutt. Standing front facelock, and Haku is my hero for spinning Dynamite and ramming him into a turnbuckle before he even has a chance to make a false tag.

-Tama applies a nervehold. Haku applies a nervehold and we get a great bit as Tama sticks the dog leash in the ring and just waves it in Dynamite’s face while he’s trapped in the hold. Tama’s having so much fun that he comes back in and reapplies the nervehold as Heenan just waves the leash back and forth between the ropes.

-Dynamite counters an attempted double-team with clotheslines and makes the hot tag. Suplex on Haku gets two. Piledriver for another two. Running powerslams on both Islanders. But Davey Boy’s temper gets the worst of him, as he steals the leash from Heenan, and it turns out it was just a solid stick of wood, so he uses it as a weapon and just beats the piss out of both Islanders with it until the referee calls for the DQ. Textbook tag team match, with lots of heat. 7 for 10.

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

Hell, look at that card, that's damn near a pay-per-view caliber show I just watched, and most of the matches delivered. Definite recommendation.