Random Network Reviews: Mayhem 2000

Mayhem 2000
November 26th, 2000 | Wisconsin Center Arena in Milwaukee, Wisconsin | Attendance: 3,800

Oh, WCW 2000. You can be a cruel pick from my randomizer. However, I have heard some people claim that WCW stepped their game up near the end and this is only about five months before they shut down for good. Hopefully this is pretty good. This would be the second every Mayhem Pay-Per-View, which is the only PPV I can think of that was named after a video game and not the other way around.

The first sight is the World Champion Booker T, arriving at the arena earlier today when some planted fans come up to him for autographs. Scott Steiner is then shown arriving and instead of signing in, he attacks a table with a bat. Commentary consists of Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden and Stevie Ray for some reason.

WCW World Cruiserweight Championship
“Above Average” Mike Sanders (c) vs. Kwee-Wee w/ Paisley
Before the bell rings, Mike Sanders slaps Kwee-Wee like a bitch because he’s wearing loud colors. That unleashes Kwee-Wee’s aggressive side, causing Sanders to call out his boys. The Natural Born Thrillers consists of Reno, Chuck Palumbo Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire and Shawn Stasiak. They beat up Kwee-Wee and launch him into a slam. Paisley leaves and returns with an afro wig and Meng. I’m not making this up. Security shows up to break up the Meng/Thrillers brawl. Everyone is taken from ringside except Paisley, who Madden believes is allowed because she has “very large breasts.” Kwee-Wee gets a string of offensive moves out but his sunset flip to the outside is countered by a Sanders hurricanrana. Not only does Kwee-Wee use the afro wig as a weapon but Paisley comes in for a handspring back elbow. Who knew that was in her arsenal? Sanders no sells it all and hits the 3.0 to retain.

Winner and Still WCW World Cruiserweight Champion: “Above Average” Mike Sanders in 7:50
One of the best things about the cruiserweight division in its heyday was that it was usually straight up matches. While the WCW main events were riddled with overbooking and interference, cruiserweight matches weren’t. Here, we get more focus on the interference than the match. The match itself, is pretty dull though. *

Ric Flair is interviewed backstage and says that there will be no more interference allowed tonight. Ric, it’s WCW, you know that won’t work. We cut again to see Kronik cutting a deal with Disco Inferno and Alex Wright. They are gonna try and use a Kronik member as part of a handicap match.

Things get even worse when Mean Gene interviews Jamie Noble and Evan Karagias, who have formed a team. They bring up that they both are from North Carolina and Karagias dated Noble’s sister and was mean to her. We cut YET AGAIN to PIMP CROWBAR spitting some game to the Nitro Girls. He enters his locker room and finds that someone left him flowers.

3 Count vs. Evan Karagias and Jamie Noble vs. Yung Dragons w/ Leia Meow
Mark Madden realizes that Noble and Karagias sounds like noble and courageous. The Yung Dragons attack them during their entrance and 3 Count joins in. Things go inside for a bit until 3 Count miss dives outside. Noble nails of the Yung Dragons with a dive right after. The match calms down with tags. Leia Meow is the best thing about this so far. Stevie Ray says that Shane Helms should be the lead singer of 3 Count, which is funny since Helms went on to be the biggest star of the group. They hit a nice spinning heel kick/German suplex combo but the pin is broken. Kaz Hayashi hits a sweet backbreaker but 3 Count ends up back in control. Yang takes out Moore with some funny looking punches. Noble is scared to get hit with the same, so Yang just kicks him in the shin. They go into a bit of a finisher barrage and there is no clue who is legal. Noble hits a tombstone only to get hit by the Nightmare on Helms Street. Moore and Karagias dive outside, followed by Kaz doing the same. Noble front flips out and Yank springboard corkscrew attacks outside. Leia Meow tops them all by diving from the top and taking them all out. As if this wasn’t already jam packed enough, Noble brings out a ladder. With Yang sitting on the top, Helms jumps OFF HIS BACK but that pin is broken. The referee has zero control right now. Three Count picks up the win with a spinning Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo.

Winners: 3 Count in 10:52
This was fast paced and had a TON of stuff going on. It was fun but the only real issue was that they were only given 11 minutes, but had about 15-17 minutes worth of ideas so they had to cram it all in, hurting the slow. Still though, it’s probably the most fun I’ll have on this show. **¾

That 70’s Guy Mike Awesome is attacked backstage by his opponent for the night, Bam Bam Bigelow. Sgt. AWOL is randomly walking by and helps. We then cut to Pamela Paulshock, who interviews Kronik, Disco and the former Alex Wright. You see, Disco bought Kronik’s services like a second rate APA, but he only had enough money for 7:30 of their help. Mean Gene also interviews Jimmy Hart because he has a match coming up. We also see the Natural Born Thrillers in Sanders’ office. SO.MANY.BACKSTAGE.SEGMENTS.

Jimmy Hart vs. Mancow
Wait. I recently reviewed Spring Stampede from earlier in the year and had to sit through this match. Why again? Jimmy Hart is on crutches and apologizes to his fans because he can’t compete. He was faking it though and gets in a cheap shot. Some of Mancow’s sideshow friends attack until 3 Count makes the save. They kick Mancow and he completely NO SELLS them. Way to make the teams in the last match that lost to 3 Count look weak. Mancow hits Hart with the crutch and then with the cast to win.

Winner: Mancow in 1:38
Total crap. Nothing redeeming about this. Couldn’t the time for this, with entrances included have gone to the previous match? DUD

I’m sorry, but these backstage segments are way too frequent to post about each time. From now on, I’ll only do it if something of note really happens.

WCW Hardcore Championship
Crowbar (c) vs. Big Vito vs. Reno
Pimp Crowbar gets to the ring late as the other two guys wail on each other instantly. Reno’s hair looks ridiculous. Vito wails on both guys with a kendo stick for a bit. Every weapon that Vito brought to the ring has an Italian flag on it. That’s in addition to the colors being on his attire and boots. He literally hits an Italian flag colored traffic cone with an Italian flag colored bat into Reno’s groin. This is literally just each guy wailing on the other with weapons. Commentary tries to build the LIFELONG feud between Vito and Reno as they fight to the back. Crowbar’s sad about being left behind, and finds them with a trash can shot. After Vito is put through a table, some bad actress named Marie comes up to tell Reno to leave Vito alone. That allows Crowbar to hit him with a chair and keep his belt.

Winner and Still WCW Hardcore Champion: Crowbar in 7:49
In trademark WCW fashion, this had no structure or plan. It’s just three guys wailing on each other with random weapons. That actually makes for a pretty boring hardcore match. *¼

There are some backstage skits but I have to mention that Mean Gene hits on Ms. Jones during an interview with the Cat. He literally tells her that he could rock her world and that she needs vitamin Gene. This is the best thing on the show so far.

Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio w/ Tygress vs. Kronik and Alex Wright w/ Disco Inferno
Tygress gets on commentary and it sounds awful. Remember, Kronik has only been purchased for seven and a half minutes. Bryan Adams starts with Kidman and throws him around. Alex Wright blind tags in like a clown. You only have the big guys for 7:30, GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH! Rey Mysterio looks incredibly tiny next to the former Wrath. His devil horns were stupid. Adam Bomb is just abusing Rey, who is bumping like a madman. When Wright come back in, Rey is able to snap off a head scissors. At the 7:31 mark, Kronik walks out, leaving Wright alone just as Stevie Ray makes a “spunk” joke. The Filthy Animal double team Wright and finish him with the Dudley’s WASSUP spot.

Winners: The Filthy Animals in 7:56
It really seems like Billy Kidman was checked out here. Rey Mysterio was doing a fine job of bumping but Kidman didn’t seem to care. This was here. *½

The Cat w/ Ms. Jones vs. Shane Douglas w/ Torrie Wilson
The WWE Network dubbing over Ernest Miller’s music is one of the most hurtful edits they’ve ever made. Cat attacks early, upset about losing his Commissioner position. He even gets in a shot on Mark Madden, making him my favorite guy on the entire card. Douglas turns things around and stomps away on Miller inside. Shane does some basic heel wear down holds until Cat starts to come back. It involves dancing, making it the most entertaining thing to happen since he hit Madden. Cat messes up running the ropes before hitting the Feliner. I didn’t even know that was a move. The crowd is more interested in Torrie and Ms. Jones getting into a catfight that Madden dubs a ‘YAK FIGHT”. The distraction allows Douglas to lay him out with a chain but Cat kicks out. Cat rolls him up and can’t steal it. Can this just end? Cat gets the dreaded red shoe and kicks Shane, ending this.

Winner: The Cat in 8:01
My goodness, this was really bad. This was absolutely going to be a dud but I remembered Car beat up Madden, giving it some positive points. Everything else was putrid. ¼*

As Ernest Miller and Ms. Jones dance a bit in the ring, Mark Madden claims they will look like the Jeffersons in the future. After an interview with MIA, there’s a GLACIER vignette. Commentary buries it, saying it was stupid the first time around and that the commercials cost more than the actual worker.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sgt. A-WOL
Seriously? Even though Bigelow was past his prime here, I would have much rather seen him face Mike Awesome. Ric Flair announces the replacement because he has a “suspicion” that Bigelow attacked Awesome. Umm, it aired on the PPV dude. Much like the last match, this sucks. Bigelow is out of shape and moving like there’s lead in his ass, while A-WOL sucks too much to make up for it. He brings a table into the ring, but it never comes into play as Bigelow is able to pull out Greetings from Asbury Park and thankfully ends this.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 5:40
Why was this on Pay-Per-View? I don’t understand why anyone would pay their hard earned money to see most of this card. DUD.

Buff Bagwell gets interviewed backstage and messes up his promo. Instead of saying a cervical disk, he says dick and the crowd laughs. Bigelow also does a stretcher job for some reason.

WCW United States/Canadian Championship
Lance Storm (c) w/ Major Gunns vs. General Rection
So Lance Storm went from a guy who was booked well to feuding against a guy with a joke name. As Bigelow is stretchered out, he jumps up fine to attack Rection. The hell? The crowd craps all over it. Storm uses this to his advantage and works over Rection for a while but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Hugh Morris starts to rally but a Major Gunns distraction stops that. Again, he seems in control, setting up for the moonsault, but Gunns crotches him up top. He still knocks Storm off and hits the moonsault, but hits it so badly that it’s basically a backflip headbutt. That is somehow enough to win.

Winner and New WCW United States Champion: General Rection in 6:32
Why have Lance Storm work the knee during the match for that not to play any role? General Rection doesn’t even sell the leg work at all. Terrible. Worst Lance Storm match I can recall. ½*

Buff Bagwell vs. Jeff Jarrett
Before the match, Jeff Jarrett calls himself a “stupid star” during a promo. His main event run didn’t last very long did it? This starts slow until Jarrett takes an ugly spill outside on a hip toss. They brawl outside, where Jarrett uses a chair, telling me that this no disqualifications I guess. Jarrett works over Buff inside for a bit. It’s hard to buy someone like Buff as a sympathetic babyface. He’s such a douche. Buff rallies out of a sleeper, hitting a hideous double arm DDT. He misses the Blockbuster though and we get a ref bump. Jarrett grabs a chair but David Flair appears to DDT him on it. The crowd doesn’t even react to this. Buff covers but only gets two, so he shoves the referee. See what I mean about him being unlikable? Again, Buff botches the Blockbuster, so Jarrett rolls through for two. Buff continues to mess up with an ugly reverse DDT for two. Jarrett goes under the ring and pulls out a guitar. There was a backstage segment earlier where Buff broke a guitar to make sure that Jarrett wouldn’t have one. The guitar shot ends it.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 11:09
Well once again, that sucked. It was extra disappointing though because these aren’t two bad guys. They aren’t great but they should be better than this. Buff was awful throughout. ¾*

WCW World Tag Team Championship
The Perfect Event (c) w/ the Natural Born Thrillers vs. The Insiders
The Insiders are Diamond Dallas Page and Kevin Nash. The crowd wants Scott Hall but he’s in terrible position with the company. Ric Flair gets security out here to eject most of the Natural Born Thrillers, though Commissioner Mike Sanders sticks around because he has a manager’s license for tonight. The champions cut the ring in half and focus on DDP. There is nothing special happening, as everything is extremely basic and generic. However, at one point we do see Stasiak’s ass. That may cost this match in the stars department in the end. They’re working tag formula and they’re milking it. The hot tag finally comes to Kevin Nash, who goes into his signature offense. Side slams and big boots for everyone. The Insiders hit a Jackknife at the same time as a Diamond Cutter. Sanders pulls the official out, so DDP lays him out with a Diamond Cutter. The ref gets back in and counts the three.

Winners and New WCW World Tag Team Champions: The Insiders in 14:53
That is what we consider the most basic of tag team matches, but it worked. The crowd reacted exactly how they wanted them to. Nothing to see here, but it wasn’t bad. **

Goldberg vs. Lex Luger
In a pre-match interview, Lex Luger calls himself the Michael Jordan of WCW. Goldberg is trying to recapture his streak, currently at 24-0. Goldberg is in no mood to selling anything, while Luger is being as lazy as possible. Tony Schiavone tries to say that Luger thinks the match going longer benefits him, but I wouldn’t think it does. Luger uses a few SCREAMING CLOTHESLINES! Goldberg comes back and the ref gets bumped. Seriously? Was that needed? The answer is nope as a second ref shows up and counts the three after a Jackhammer.

Winner: Goldberg in 5:52
An extended squash that bored me. Goldberg wasn’t in the mood to sell anything and Lex Luger could not have cared less. DUD.

WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Straightjacket Caged Heat Match
Booker T (c) vs. Scott Steiner w/ Midajah
We get no real explanation of what the straightjacket is involved for. Scott Steiner attacks at the bell, leading to a brawl outside. Caged Heat is a big knockoff Hell in a Cell. Once Steiner gets in control, he busts out the push-ups, getting a pop from the fans. The crowd continues to be behind Steiner and his heel antics. Booker hits the missile dropkick for two, and goes for the straightjacket. So I guess it’s there to put your opponent in and gain an advantage. Steiner stops him with a suplex and takes it down, but Booker is the one who tries to put him in it. It is just a waste of time though and commentary continues to say that he should just pin Steiner. Booker wails on him with a chair while he’s in the jacket, but it isn’t fully applied. Steiner rips the jacket apart and they make it out to be this incredible feat of strength, but it was barely on. He applies a TERRIBLE looking Steiner Recliner that Booker is able to counter. Book End hits but Booker can’t cover instantly, allowing Steiner to kick out. SPINAROONIE but Steiner lays him out with the chair. Steiner hits the Bubba Bomb before a Steiner Recliner wraps this up.

Winner and New WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Scott Steiner in 13:08
Surprisingly clean match here. I know it was no DQ but there was no interference and that was refreshing. Some of what they did looked bad, but I thought this was decent. The crowd being behind Steiner was interesting. **½

2.5

The final score: review Very Bad

The 411

I’ve seen worse from WCW around this time but not by much. Nothing on the entire card cracked three stars, with the three way tag match and WCW World Title being the best. The Tag Titles aren’t bad, but they aren’t really good either. Too many people just seemed to not care and it hurt the quality of most of the matches. You can kind of tell that this was a company ready to close their doors soon.