Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Royal Rumble 2005

• DVD Packaging: This is the Royal Rumble Anthology edition so it comes in different packages with 5 discs in each one. The fourth volume box is white with gold trim.

• DVD Presentation: The menu is simple but it’s the same for every disc in the set. It has this triumphant fanfare playing over a brief montage from that year’s RR on the right half of the screen. The left half is the same as the box design except it’s white with gold trim.

• Relevant Storylines: Edge is one week away from going to DC to visit Congress and demand his rights be protected. Showster shits on Goldberg’s gimmick of spearing 3 Minute Warning through the barricade. Eddie steals Flair’s number and his wallet but Flair only notices the first is gone. Batista and Flair pair up to clean house at the RR but Cena has something to say about it.

• Scheduled Card:
1. Shawn Michaels vs. Edge.
2. Casket Match: Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.
3. Triple Threat for the WWE Championship: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show vs. JBL (c).
4. World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Triple H (c).
5. Royal Rumble Match.

• Short package this time around that does a pseudo countdown and ends on :00 with this year’s RR.

• Shawn Michaels vs. Edge. Odd choice for opener. This had a lot of juice in it and Edge was transitioning from upper midcard to main eventer during this period. Edge tries to jump Michaels before he can take off his S&M gear but HBK jumps him instead with rights, a backdrop, and a Cactus clothesline but he skins the cat to come back in. Edge is pissed and he’s ready now. HBK chants. Lock up heads to the corner and HBK goes to work with chops. HBK with more and sends Edge off but lowers his guard and gets hit with a swinging neckbreaker. Mild “Edge sucks” chant. Edge with rights and Michaels cuts him off with a smack to the face. Edge cuts him back off with a thumb to the eye. HBK with a Thesz press and mounted rights and he just shitcans Edge over the top. On the floor, Edge comes back with an Edge-o-Matic. Nice. HBK tries recovering and Edge takes him out with a baseball slide from in the ring and then sends HBK hard into the apron. Edge with a hard Irish whip and drops a knee to Michaels’s chest. HBK back with chops. HBK tries a standing huracanrana but Edge counters with a Sky High sitout powerbomb for 2. OH NO! Edge goes to the OrtonLock used by Brock last year against Holly (and later perfected by the master of chinlocks Orton). HBK struggles to his feet but Edge changes it to a sleeper. This hold is going on way too long. HBK elbows out and gets a chop. He tries to get a head of steam but Edge pulls him down by the hair to massive heat. Then he hits the HBK front double bi to even bigger boos. Edge is much better as a heel. Edge then pulls him down by the hair again. Edge with forearms and a chop and sends Michaels into the turnbuckle. Edge with another whip and a charge in the corner. He gets backdropped to the apron but stunguns HBK to counter. He goes for a missile dropkick but whiffs. HBK with an Oklahoma roll up for 2 and Edge just big boots him down. King is great on commentary here defending Edge’s bastardness calling that big boot a Sweet Chin Music variation that was also better than Michaels’s. He pulls HBK down by the hair again. Edge tries a back suplex but HBK floats over with the crossbody for 2 and Edge again with a clothesline to take him down. Edge works the head and arm choke. HBK tries to elbow and chop his way out. Whip reversal and HBK counters with a Million Dollar knee lift and a double sledge to Edge. HBK feeling it. He hits a pair of inverted atomic drops and comes off the ropes but Edge isn’t there. Hmm, seems like Edge missed the call. HBK instead hits a back elbow and more chops in the corner. He mounts and hits only 5 before Edge walks him out but HBK slides down his back for a roll up that only gets 2. HBK with a catapult and a roll up for 2. And Edge says fuck this and takes a walk. HBK follows and sends HBK into the apron and more chops. Chioda tries to break this up and distracts long enough for Edge to spear Michaels on the floor. Chioda up to 9 on the count and HBK finally gets back in. Edge now steals another taunt and is setting up his own SCM. King: “He’s tuning up the band.” JR: “Edge doesn’t even have a band.” Edge instead nails a spear and covers for a razor thin 2 count. Edge starts pulling out his hair. OH NO! He’s about to snap like Ken Shamrock and Macho Man and Chris Jericho and etc. He puts Michaels on the top rope and sets up a superplex but HBK chops out and hits the Macho elbow. Both are down but Michaels is stirring and getting to his feet. He’s feeling it and signals for the SCM but Edge ducks under and counters with a Electric Chair(!) Badass. Close 2 count. Edge sends Michaels off and HBK tries a sunset flip but Edge rolls through and counters to set up the reverse Figure 4/Texas Cloverleaf. Michaels crawls for the ropes and Edge pulls him back to the middle. Michaels finally gets the ropes to a pop. Edge tries to set it up again but HBK counters with a small package for 2. Another roll up but Edge counters to his own roll up and he’s got the ropes for the 3 at 18:28. Edge’s celebration and disbelief is at his own victory is great. The timing was slightly off in places and HBK used way too many chops as counters but this was good stuff and a nice coming out party for Edge as a heel single’s competitor mainly due to his personality more than his ring sense. ***1/2

• Next, we get the epically great cutaways to number drawings. We’ve got Torrie and Christy Hemme in skimpy outfits and Teddy Long and Bischoff discussing brand supremacy and Flair and Eddie in suits ready to draw numbers. Eddie starts to go first until Flair cuts in line because he says he has 16 world titles and Eddie obliges. Flair lets the ladies blow on his number and he’s stylin’ and profilin’ and Eddie is less than thrilled. They hug and Eddie leaves. Flair shows off his number but then looks at it again and it seems Eddie stole his number. Why can’t they always do segments this effective and entertaining?

• Meanwhile, Heidenreich is hanging out in a red locker room. This place is lit like something out of Flatliners. He says he hates caskets but runs into Snitsky who says he has a plan.

• Casket Match: Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Video package includes HR choking out UT with ether and then running into him with OJ’s Bronco. This feud is up (down?) there with Warrior-Papa Shango. The Druids and the casket get their own entrance. HR is in pretty sick shape for this. Juice? UT is doing his MMA striker horseshit here. He grabs a side headlock and HR begs off. Taker gets another and gets sent off but hits a shoulderblock. He gets another and Heidenreich tries a hiptoss but UT counters with his own and an armdrag. UT does to an armlock or some shit and HR gets the ropes and demands that UT “stop it” like a woman. HR with a side headlock and gets his own shoulderblock. Another side headlock and another shoulderblock. What is this crap? UT with a horrid single leg and botches a HALF CRAB. HR gets the ropes and tries to take a walk but UT follows. HR responds by whipping him into the casket. HR smashes him into it a few times. Back in, Taz calls it “thinking outside the box” to use the casket as a weapon. In that case, Heidenreich is a genius. HR with some rights and lefts. HR lands more punches and calls it “his” world about 5 times and UT responds by applying a triangle choke in the corner. HR rolls to the mat and UT keeps it on. Here comes That Damn Snitsky and he boots Taker to boos. That was his master plan? A fucking run in? More of that patented higher level “outside the box” thinking Taz was referring to. And to hear Cole call it, you’d think it’s a mystery why Snitsky is even out here. Snitsky hits the Pollack Clothesline of Death and they decide to doubleteam UT with a double suplex. Now they start dropping elbows and tell the refs to open the casket but Kane is in there. Kane does the zombie situp to a pop. He tosses HR to the floor and hits the worst Cactus clothesline ever on Snitsky. On the floor, he hits the throat thurst and they “brawl” through the crowd. I can’t believe the crowd is hot for their anemic brawling but whatever. HR frightfully pushes the casket away from the ring as Taz says he’s doing it “to test out the wheels and make sure they work.” UT jumps him from behind and smashes HR into the casket. HR counters and sends UT in to the steps knees first with the Foley bump. Nice. HR with jabs. HR tries more Mensa-level leaps of logic by pushing the casket toward UT as a javelin but he ducks under and it hits the apron instead. HR botches the hell out of the Million Dollar Dream. HR rolls him into the casket and tries to shut the lid but UT gets his arm out. UT fights back with rights and pulls HR into the casket and leg drops the casket lid on HR. That was kinda cool. Cole: “Vintage Undertaker with a twist!” UT goes for a Chokeslam but HR headbutts out. He gets a head of steam but UT counters with a back elbow. He gets his own head of steam and runs into a Bossman Slam by HR and he covers?? And then demands a count that aint coming. This sucks. He puts Taker in the casket again and again UT no sells it. These false finishes in a casket match suck. UT with rights and HR responds with rights as they slug it out. UT with a DDT and calls for the Chokeslam again. He hits it and the Tombstone and rolls the carcass in the casket at 13:21.This is oddly entertaining because of the perfect shitstorm of suck involved. The match is ass and gets * but the convergence of awkward selling, botches, Kane and Snitsky’s wondrous run ins, and infamous commentary gets ***. Split the difference and call it **.

• Teddy Long threatens Eddie and demands Flair’s number. Enter Evolution and Triple H calls Eddie “jumping bean.” Well, there ya go. Eddie obliges. Teddy demands the rest and Eddie hands over Flair’s wallet that Flair didn’t realize was gone. Triple H wants to discuss the strategy for dealing with Orton. Batista says later because he’s going to get his RR number. Agree to disagree? No? They butt heads and Flair has to make nice for everyone and they cool down. Flair has a magical way of making every one of these interview and backstage segments better just by being there.

• Meanwhile, Christian and Tyson Zimbardo Tomko want a word with Bischoff to get their number. Christian is excited about his number. Cena shows up to make nice with everyone and calls Bischoff “Burt Reynolds.” Christian aint buying it and says he can beat Cena in any freestyle competition anytime. Christian tells Tomko to give him a beat and Tomko refuses. Awesome stuff. Christian then freestyles anyway and says he’s going to toss Cena for all his peeps to a big pop. Fuck yeah. Cena finds three ways to call Christian gay and then refuses to pick a number.

• Triple Threat for the WWE Championship: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show vs. JBL (c). No package for this. I’m surprised if this breaks 10 minutes. Show scares off Angle and wants JBL one on one. JBL with rights and chops and tries a shoulderblock but Show no sells and JBL takes the bump. Show with a headbutt and an open hand chop in the corner and another headbutt. Show tells everyone to be quiet so he can do it again. Angle on the outside is playing along and Show is paying more attention to Angle than JBL. Show tries a charge but runs into a big boot. JBL tries a splash but Show catches him and hits a bodyslam and covers but Angle breaks it up. Angle with a front facelock on Show but Show tosses him off and hits a headbutt and more chops in the corner. Show sends Angle across and he does the Bret Hart bump on the turnbuckle. JBl tries a suplex on Show and that goes nowhere and Show just hits his own. Show with a big boot on Angle. and hits a double clothesline on Angle and JBL and sends them to the floor. Show follows with rights and sends Angle into the stairs and JBL into the ringpost. Angle tries an attack from behind and Show counters with the asshipcheck. Show sets the stairs up next to the announce table. Show climbs the stairs and preps a Chokeslam through the table on JBL. Angle saves him and goes low and hits Show with a monitor and he falls through the announce table. Angle goes to work on JBL. Back in, JBL cuts him off with clubberin’ forearms. Angle sends him off and hits an arm drag and goes to work on the arm. JBL powers out and goes for a big boot but Angle ducks. He gets a double leg and goes back to the Americana. JBL just brawls out and hits a charging clothesline in the corner. He tries another and Angle moves out of the way and goes for the Rolling Germans. He hits one but JBL fights the second in a nice piece of psychology. JBL goes for the Clothesline from Hell but Angle ducks and gives him another German suplex. Angle drops the straps. He tries the AngleSlam but JBL slips out and hits the big boot and covers for 2. Showster comes back in and hits another double clothesline and headbutts for all. He bodyslams them onto each other and taunts. He whips them both into the corner and hits the hipcheck and another goddamn double clothesline. Show drops his strap and sets up the DOUBLE CHOKESLAM but Angle clips the leg and JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell at the same time. Angle and JBL fight over the cover and Angle hits a German. He pins Show for 2. Show hits the AngleSlam but JBL comes back with a big boot and dumps Angle. JBL covers Show for 2. JBL taunts and Show goozles him and hits the Chokeslam. He covers but JBL gets the foot on the ropes. JBL tries to take a walk but Show “spears” him through the barricade. A tepid “holy shit” chant follows. Kurt’s in the ring but he’s hiding with a chair. The Bashams come out to check on JBL. Angle gives Showster a gutshot with the chair and tries another but Show counters with a flapjack that I’m sure was supposed to be on the chair, but honestly that’s a tough spot. Cover gets nothing as Mark Jindrak pulls out the ref. Show tries to grab Jindrak and Luther Reigns dumps him. Show fights off Team Angle 2.0. Orlando Jordan slides JBL back into the ring and he hits the Clothesline from Hell for the 3 to retain at 12:04. I’ll be damned. Not good or anything but serviceable. It’s bad when that’s the best compliment you can pay a world title match but it is what it is. Some mildly original spots between the three but Show’s comeback left something to be desired. It told a simple story effectively and TRIED to play to strengths of the competitors. **1/2

• Backstage, an “injured” Carlito wants Batista to sign his petition to oust Teddy Long as GM. Batista declines. Carlito takes a bite of an apple and before he can do anything Batista subtly threats to shove the clipboard up his ass. Carlito says he was just joking and begs off. Next, we get a tracking shot following Batista into the drawing room where Bischoff is complaining about all the interference in the Smackdown title match. Teddy responds by saying everyone knows Evolution is going to interfere on Trip’s behalf. Bischoff decides to make Evolution banned from ringside during the match and lets Batista tell Triple H and he looks rather pleased about it all. The backstage segments have been great all night.

• World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Triple H (c). The package makes this seem epic but in reality they had killed Orton’s babyface momentum months earlier. He’s over but not nearly as over as he was when he beat Benoit for the belt. Orton beat Batista in a number 1 contender’s match to get this shot after he shoved Batista into an interfering Triple H and a chair. Orton comes out to Christian’s pyro. The other thing that seemed to mess up Orton during this period was his timing as a face. He’s awkward in his comebacks, hitting his poses, etc. He just doesn’t quite gel as the clean, uber-babyface and that’s not how he got over in the first place anyway.

• Triple H tries to gloat with the belt and Orton smacks him. Orton gets a shoulderblock and a back slide off a blocked hiptoss for 2. He punches way in the corner. He sends Triple H across and hits a backdrop. He tries an RKO but Trips escapes and takes a breather. Orton follows to the floor with rights and sends Trips into the apron. H gets a head of steam but runs into a Bluechipper dropkick. More rights from Orton as the crowd is already dead. “Triple H” chant? Believe it. They slug it out in the corner and Trips mounts in the corner and hits 3 before Orton counters with Snake Eyes into the turnbuckle. Mild “RKO” chant as Orton tries it again but Trips catches him and drops off over the top rope to the floor. Nice. JR and King speculate on the whereabouts of Taz and Cole due to the dilapidated announce table as Trips sends Orton into the stairs. Back in Triple H steals Orton’s taunt to cheers. Back in, Triple H drops some boots and does the blatant choke as Earl demands a break. Trips sends him into the corner but runs into a boot from Orton to mild jeers. “Randy sucks” chant as Triple H floats over and clips Orton’s taped up knee. Triple H now sends the knee into the ring post, chokes Orton, and then just drops him to the floor. H with another chop block and Orton is selling it well. He drops an elbow on the knee and drives it into the mat again. JR: “Triple H likes hurting people. He likes hurting people’s knees. He likes ruining moments like this one.” Er, yeah. Triple H drops another elbow and now torques it more. Triple H tries the Figure 4 but Orton gets a small package for 2. H quickly clips the knee again and now applies the Figure 4 to a pop. Orton tries sitting up as Triple H smacks him back down. Orton close to the ropes and H pulls it back to more pops. Triple H now really cranking it. This is the best working of the Figure 4 I’ve seen in a while. Orton still fighting it and Trips smacks him more. He’s trying to get the crowd to hate him but it’s not really working. He just looks like the better wrestler at this point. Orton now finally rolls it over to counter and Triple H quickly gets the ropes. Trips gets up and shakes the leg loose and Orton can’t even stand. H goes back to work on the leg and sends it into the apron a few times but Orton kicks him off and into the SAT. Back in, Orton hits the back/neckbreaker of his and sells the knee on impact. He’s getting his second wind and wins the slugfest with Triple H to a mixed reaction. Orton with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Now a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2. Orton sets up a backdrop but Trips kicks him to counter. He runs off the ropes into a powerslam for another 2 count for Orton. Orton tries to mount in the corner and Triple H counters with an inverted atomic drop. Triple H goes up top but Orton armdrags/slams him off the top. Orton now goes up top and hits a flying crossbody for 2 and the crowd was into that false finish. Orton with rights and tries another backdrop but mistimes it and Trips hits the jawbreaker and sets up the Pedigree. Orton counters with a double leg and a catapult into the turnbuckle. Orton tries the RKO but H shoves him into the turnbuckle. Triple H comes back with a high knee for a close 2. Orton has forgotten the knee at this point. Orton is bleeding hardway from the mouth on that knee. Trips goes for the Pedigree and Orton reverses out with a clothesline. Trips rolls to the floor and Orton follows and sends him into the barricade and the stairs and then back in. Orton with more rights on Triple H and he’s staggering. Triple H is falling into Orton to stand up. Orton tries a DDT but Triple H hooks the ropes. Orton is “out” of it as he sells the impact of the DDT. He rolls to the floor to sell the pseudo-concussion. Hebner tells him to get in or he’ll have to count him out. From out of picture, Triple H hits a Ho Train on both and Hebner is toast and then he boots Orton who falls to the floor. Triple H gets a sledge as we see caution tape over where Showster sent JBL through the barricade. JR: “What’s Triple H going to do with that sledgehammer?” King: “I can’t look into the future.” Trips tries a shot but Orton pulls him into the ringpost and now Triple H is selling an injury to his face. Orton is still stumbling around. Why not just do a regular ending instead of this overbooked shit? The match grinds to a halt as soon as Orton got a head injury. Orton gets the sledge and Triple H hits a hard clothesline to take him down. Triple H gets the sledge but Hebner stirs to Trips drops it and hits a Pedigree to a big pop for the 3 to retain at 19:52. Good match until the overbooking kicked in and they decided to go away from all the knee work. The overbooking had psychology behind it but it wasn’t fun to watch. ***1/2

• Meanwhile, Kurt Angle steals Nunzio’s number and bullies him.

• JBL and his cabinet crash the lottery party and Teddy says that JBL is facing Showster in a barbwire cage match.

• Royal Rumble: JR tries to rattle Taz’s cage about commentary. JR: “And Boomer Sooner!” Taz: “Yeah… go Brooklyn!” Eddie out first and Benoit is second. Benoit gets the power advantage and then Eddie reverses. Stalemate. Benoit with a deep armdrag. Eddie gets a hammerlock. Huge “Eddie” chant. Eddie with a snapmare takedown and a shoulderblock. Daniel Puder out at 90 second intervals. Puder gets in and then takes a breather. He gets the mic and says everyone is about to witness history because he’ll be the first Tough Enough champion to win the RR. Benoit and Eddie decide to put the screws to him with chops. Double suplex and then more individual suplexes. The next entrant is Bob Holly and the interval there was more like 2 and a half minutes. Here comes Sparky Plug to teach the rookie a lesson and everyone cheers him on. Hardcore with brutal chops in the corner. After another round and Hardcore gives him a low blow and an Alabama Slam and then just dismisses him. That obviously had something to do with some backstage heat, probably for running his mouth about “tapping” Angle. Hurricane is next at over 2 minutes again and Benoit and Eddie toss Holly. Now they go to work on Hurricane with chops and a double back elbow but Eddie turns on Benoit and tries to sneak him but no go. That’s just an ordinary thing in an RR but great because it plays into Eddie’s character. Hurricane hits a blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him and sends him off and he gets backdropped by Eddie over the top. Kenzo Suzuki out next. Benoit and Eddie again with the chops and doubleteaming. Eddie with a back suplex on Kenzo and Benoit seizes the opportunity to try to toss Eddie but he hangs on. Edge out next pulling double duty. He hits a few shoulder shrugs on Eddie in the corner and punches Benoit around. Edge tries to toss Eddie but he’s trying to hold on and the crowd is buying it. Another big Eddie chant. Benoit with a running forearm on Edge. Kenzo tries choking Benoit until he clips the knee. Mysterio is next and hits the wheelbarrow bulldog on Edge and a dropkick on Benoit. Mysterio eliminates Kenzo with a headscissors. Eddie cuts him off with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and another on Benoit. Shelton Benjamin out next and hits a flying back elbow on Edge. Shelton is current IC champ at the time. Backdrop on Eddie too. Benoit’s trying to toss Rey and Eddie sneaks him and tries to toss him. Shelton tries to eliminate Edge but Rey chopblocks him. Mysterio with a flying headscissors on Shelton.

• Booker T out at 10 as the ring is filling up. Booker hits Edge with a roundhouse because he’s still pissed about the shampoo commercial. Shelton and Rey almost eliminate each other as Bischoff comes out for some reason. Benoit puts the sharpshooter on Eddie but Mysterio breaks it up with a springboard leg drop. Jericho’s next and the crowd pops. Alright time for some eliminations and now just entrance pops. “Y2J” chant as he hits a few back elbows an a back suplex on Edge. Jericho mounts and punches Eddie but Booker breaks it up and here’s Teddy Long to also cheer on his wrestlers. Benoit with a crucial backbreaker on Rey. Luther Reigns is next and Taz is way too excited about him. Luther squares off with Jericho and that goes nowhere. The ring separates into Smackdown vs. RAW teams to play up the awesome West Side Story advertising. They all separate and brawl. Eddie tries to backdrop Shelton over the top but he hangs on. Next is Muhammed Hassan to universal boos. This is a character that never really got a chance and then they turned him into a storyline terrorist and then UT storyline killed him by powerbombing him through the stage at GAB 2005. Huge “USA” chant. Everyone stops to watch him come in the ring and do his pseudo-religious taunt. They all jump him at the same time and hold him down until Rey hits a 619 and then they all oust him to a huge pop. Orlando Jordan is next without a mask and no phalllic lotion for Rob Terry. He takes the rights to Luther but Benoit jumps him. Eddie with a spear on Edge into a turnbuckle. Shelton hangs Jericho out to dry but he hangs on as Mysterio and Luther botch a springboard dropkick. Entrances are back down to 90 seconds now. Scotty 2 Hotty is next but Hassan jumps him in the entranceway and applies the Camel Cluth. Shelton with a Stinger Splash on Edge and tries to bodyslam him over the top but Edge hangs on. Charlie Haas is next and eats a Harlem sidekick immediately and so does OJ. Another kick for Luther and he’s gone. Booker T also tosses OJ and now it’s spinaroonie time. Booker’s on a roll but Rey dropkicks him and Eddie lowers the bridge and tosses Booker. That was pretty cool realistic booking for a change. Shelton with a T-Bone on Rey. Rene Dupree and his French poodle are next. Dupree with rights on Rey and chokes until Haas hotshots him into the ropes and then he holds him so Shelton can hit the springboard double ax handle as they temporarily reunite the WGTT. Shelton gets a head of steam and launches himself at Edge who ducks and Shelton lands on the top rope only for Edge to trip him up and toss him. I’m liking the different eliminations. Simon Dean is next. JR: “If it’s not deep fried or barbecue, I don’t eat it.” As Mysterio hits a huracanrana on Eddie, JR with another winner: “I’m leery of men who wear powder blue.” Simon Dean puts on his walkman and warms up with freestanding squats as JR takes noticeable offense saying he’s been there all day to warm up and needs to get in the ring. Mysterio does the Kidman counter to Eddie’s powerbomb attempt and Edge tosses him and then steals Eddie’s taunt to big boos. Jericho dropkicks Edge from behind. And now Simon Dean is doing divebomber pushups and now he’s getting in the ring. Shawn Michaels is next, also doing double duty. HBK goes right for Edge with rights and tosses Dean with a clothesline. Crowd chants for Eddie as he leaves and JR and Taz argue over whether it’s Rene Dupree or Charlie Haas battling with HBK (Taz is right, it’s Haas). Mysterio with a SWAT team roll to avoid Edge. Edge tries to corner Mysterio but he rolls through his legs. HBK tosses Haas as JR makes a French joke incorrectly.

• Kurt Angle out at 20 to a big reaction. He immediately hits a German on Benoit and an overhead belly to belly on Rey. Another German on Jericho and an AngleSlam on Edge and Dupree. He tries another on HBK but he counters with an attempt at Sweet Chin Music and Angle catches the ankle for the anklelock. Badass. HBK rolls forward and out and gives Angle SCM to send him over the top. Rey headbutts HBK and chokes him. Coach is next to fairly loud boos. Benoit takes down Rey with a back elbow. Coach hits Benoit and then hides as JR verbally thrashes Coach on commentary. Benoit tears his shirt off as Jericho hits a Bossman attack on Dupree. Jericho tries to toss Rey but he hangs on to Jericho with a headscissors and both survive on the apron. Mark Jindrak is next and Angle seizes the moment to slide back in and unceremoniously dump HBK. Angle picks up the stairs and destroys HBK with them. HBK blades as Dupree whips Jindrak around. Angle then applies the anklelock in HBK on the stairs in a great visual. Fit Finlay braves the fire again and luckily doesn’t get hit with the stairs 2 years in a row. Viscera is next to crickets. Uhhh. Jindrak tries to toss Rey but he skins the cat. Viscera slams Rey. Jindrak tries Vis but he gets clubbed down. Paul London is next and his speed carries him all the way across the ring but he runs into Dupree and his strut and spot but Jericho dumps him from behind and steals his taunt to a big cheer. Nice spot. John Cena is next to a huge pop. He has rights for everyone and bum rushes Vis with more rights and then backdrops him over the top. London almost goes over the top but survives. Rey with a broncobuster on Coach. Snitsky is next with some big boots and shoulderblocks. He hits one on Benoit and then goes for London. London ducks behind and goes for a sleeper. Snitsky tries to send him over the top but he hangs on. He runs toward Snitsky and gets clotheslined and cuts a somersault to the floor. Another well-known holy shit bump there. Snitsky and Cena staredown in the middle now. Cena gets him on the shoulders but Snitsky slips out and hits a big boot. Kane is next. And Snitsky says it’s GO TIME. Snitsky boots him a few time but Kane gets a clothesline and Chokeslams Edge and Benoit and Cena. Jericho gets one too and Rey as well and Kane tosses Jindrak with the choke over the top. Coach jumps Kane and then begs off. He goozles Coach but Snitsky jumps from behind and hits the Meltdown as Paul London is stretchered out. Batista is next to another huge pop. He punches Snitsky around and clotheslines him to the floor easily. Kane and Batista now go face to face and slug it out. “Ba-tis-ta” chant as he hits a Demonbomb on Kane. He catches a running Jericho and press slams him to the floor and hits the troll yell. Batista tries to toss Edge but he hangs on. Christian is next. Cena boots the hell out of Edge and Rey hits a 619 on Kane. Cena then FUs Kane over the top and celebrates with Rey. Now they agree to work together temporarily.

• Ric Flair is out at 30 to a king’s welcome.He and Batista embrace and Flair goes to work on Coach with chops and then sends him into a spinebuster and Flair tosses him. Now they pick Christian and do the same chop-spinebuster combo. Batista press slams Christian onto Coach. Benoit isolates Flair and chops the hell out of him but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster and Flair tosses him. OK, this is great stuff especially considering the Evolution-Benoit feud in 04 and the chemistry they all had together. Flair seizes the opportunity to try and toss Batista and oh shit it didn’t work. Big mistake. Flair begs off but before Batista can do anything Rey and Edge hit the double dropkick on Batista. Flair singles off with Edge and chops him but gets speared for his trouble. Edge then tosses Flair to nostalgia boos. Flair’s the man and is entertaining as hell but the crowd couldn’t possibly have wanted him to win.

• Final Four: Edge, Rey, Cena, and Batista. Edge big boots Rey and tries to go to work but Batista cuts him off and tries a clothesline. Edge ducks and spears Batista and Cena. He tries another on Rey but Rey leapfrogs him and hits a 619 and jumps for a WCP but Edge ducks under and uses Rey’s momentum to send him over the top. Rey hangs on to the apron but Edge pseudo-spears him off the apron to eliminate him. Edge goes toward Cena and Batista but gets backdropped over the top by both. They soak in the moment as the crowd erupts for the interaction. Batista with a boot and a throat thrust but Cena puts him in a fireman’s carry and tries to toss him but Batista keeps grabbing the ropes. Batista now goes for the DemonBomb but his momentum sends him back into the ropes and over the top and both hit the floor at the same time. Allegedly this whole thing was accidental and if that’s the truth they lucked out because it’s sequenced perfectly to cover their ass. Jack Doane, the RAW ref, says Batista won and some Smackdown ref says Cena won. They are basically letting the crowd cheer the loudest for who they think should win. It’s pretty much down the middle. Here comes Vince McMahon and he tears both quads on the ropes and just fucking sits there and no one seems to think it’s strange. Batista grabs Cena to shitcan him and declare victory. Cena does the same. Vince says they restart the match. Batista boots him to set up the DemonBomb but no go. Cena tries the FU but no go. Batista with a spinebuster and Cena’s gone at 54:36.

• Terrific RR all around. This one was slightly different because it seemed more like an actual sporting event and less like a massively booked and choreographed gimmick match and that’s a compliment. It’s not so much that it’s better, just that it felt different in various ways. Eddie and Benoit’s run the first half was much better than Benoit and Orton’s from the previous year as it wasn’t just an accidental coincidence but was due largely to strategy and teamwork. The ring filled up sometimes but again that seemed oddly logical given the talent of most of the participants and how evenly matched they would be in a kayfabe sense. And the eliminations felt more organic and less happenstance like Booker’s, Shelton’s, London’s, and especially Angle’s. Epic interactions this year with Angle-HBK, Cena-Batista, everyone turning on Muhammed Hassan, the two brands pairing off and Flair-Batista even. The finishing stretch is great as well. I can’t say enough good things about this one. ****1/2

The 411: Great overall card. The Edge-HBK and Orton-Triple H matches are very good, and the backstage segments while usually are filler crap, are great and actually improve the show. Even the crap (HR-UT) is still very watchable and unexpectedly entertaining. And of course the RR is fantastic.
Final Score:  8.5   [ Very Good ]