The Fink’s Payload 03.29.08: WrestleMania Fast-Forward

Were you wondering what happened to The Fink’s Payload?

I know I was!

If you’re like me, and I know you are, you were really worried about The Fink’s Payload while it was gone. But now it’s back and you can stop worrying! Well, at least about The Fink’s Payload. I’m not saying anything about that rash you were talking about earlier.

Yeah… you should probably continue to worry about that.

Anyways, I’m your new host, Andrew Clark. This is my first column at 411 but I am a longtime reader and I always knew that the Payload was the coolest thing on the Internet (yes – the whole Internet!) because it combined two of my favorite things:

1. Wrestling
2. My brain.

So, in conclusion… if you like wrestling, or you like your brain, and especially if you like BOTH!, you will totally really enjoy this fantasy-booking-oriented column on a weekly basis.

Here’s how it works: every week, there will be a question in this column. It will ask you to think about something wrestling-related and to put your thoughts into your computer (I usually do it by typing, but you can choose any method you prefer – be creative!) and then send those thoughts to me. If I receive your answer before the deadline, I will read it and your words might appear in this column the following week! But you have to make sure you get your answer in before the deadline. I really have to draw a line in the sand on this one, so don’t push me, okay? More on that later.

Now I know that some of you might be thinking, oh no, what if I drift off while he is talking and I miss the question? Believe me, I understand. It happens. That’s why I’m going to do you all a favor; I’m going to put the question at the end of the column and I’m going to put it in bold font. That way you can’t miss it! See how easy that was to spot in the midst of all this normal font? I told you not to worry.

No, seriously, keep worrying about that.

We have to work together like a well-oiled machine on this one. The Fink’s Payload lives and dies by the power of your voice, 411 readers. In a way, we’re like the People’s Champion of 411! Has anyone else used that line before? That’s pretty good. Our first week together and we already have a nickname.

This first column is going to be short because you guys didn’t really contribute anything. Granted, you didn’t know the Payload was coming back, but that’s no excuse. I’m giving you a pass, just this once, because I like you. But don’t push me. I already warned you about the pushing. So I’ll just go ahead and give you a play-by-play of how we do things around here:

RULE #1: Send your responses (a.k.a. your “thoughts”) to [email protected]. I know that The Fink’s Payload has been connected with many email addresses in her sordid and illustrious past, but we’re trying to right the ship. Let’s keep all responses coming to [email protected] just so everybody has a fair chance at appearing in the column.

RULE #2: The official deadline for consideration to appear in the column is 10PM on Wednesdays. Since the column runs on Saturdays, that gives you five days to ponder. You think you need more time to ponder? No, I said a deadline’s a deadline. What do you mean you do your best pondering during new episodes of “South Park”? Fine, I’ll give you two extra hours. The new, extended official deadline for consideration to appear in the column, because I like you, is 12AM on Thursdays. Man, I am such a pushover.

RULE #3: Spell-check your thoughts, please.

I fully encourage everyone to take part in this experience and everyone’s thoughts are welcome. I just have to ask that you put all your thoughts into an email because I won’t be accepting entries through the comments section.

When I realized we were running on Saturdays, I realized I couldn’t ask you to “tell me how you would book Wrestlemania XXIV” because the show would be the oldest of old news by the time the next column appeared. But I can beat everybody else to the punch and ask you about next year’s show!

Question One (due date: 12 AM, Thursday, April 3, 2008)
With Wrestlemania XXIV behind us, tell me your thoughts about the main event programs going into the 25th Annual Showcase of the Immortals in 2009. Feel free to book the entire card if you are feeling particularly frisky. This is a whole year in the future, so use your imagination. At the minimum, I’m wondering who you think is going to be in the title programs (WWE, World, and ECW if you think they’re still going to be around) at Wrestlemania XXV. Are we looking at a new breed of title contenders rising to the top? Or does the old guard hang around and establish long-term dominance?

I told you that I would put it in nice bold font, and that’s exactly what I did. You can trust me. I’m a nice guy, I promise.

When I get your emails, I will read them and I’ll cram as many as I can into next week’s column, along with some of my thoughts, since I’m just as important as you are. If you write me a book, I might take some liberties to fit it into the space that I have for it. Cool? Cool.

Ponder away.