The Fink’s Payload 04.10.08: Jeff Hardy’s Return

Welcome to the third edition of The Fink’s Payload! I am your host, Andrew Clark, and you had best learn the name because the game will never be the same.

Last week, I asked everyone to send in some ideas for Jeff Hardy’s return and, you know what, everyone listened. That was really nice of everyone! Let’s see what everyone thought.

Opinion #1: Andy Clark
“Comments from the Peanut Gallery”

My booking for next week: Jeff Hardy doesn’t come back to Raw that night because he’s been drafted to SmackDown anyhow. And it takes him another month and a half to return past when he actually could. He teams with Matt for a while, feuding with Miz & Morrison over the tag titles. He starts getting back in the title picture around Survivor Series, he’s clean, and WWE contemplates using him in a major role for next year’s WrestleMania, possibly against Edge.

WHAT DO I THINK?: Everyone, I would like you to meet the guy who writes for 411 and owns the copyright to my name. I promised that I wouldn’t challenge his claim (or toilet-paper his house) if he would post a short comment at the bottom of my second column. And look here, he held up his end of the bargain! Payloaders, drop your weapons. This guy is alright, alright, alright. As for the comments, I thought this was somewhere on the low end of the Hardy Return Excitement Scale… but it’s certainly logical. The WWE has every reason to be very cautious with Jeff now that he has a proverbial “full count” in the three-strikes-and-you’re-out game of the Wellness Policy. But reforming the Hardy Boyz and feuding with Morrison (again) over the tag straps sounds like too much of the same old thing. I, for one, hope for upward movement in the summer for both Matt and Jeff and this idea is certainly not accomplishing that goal. A match with Edge at WM XXV could be a huge moment for both guys, but who do you think should win?

Opinion #2: John Hucks
“He’s So Raven”

The stage is set for Jeff Hardy returning to do a special interview of the Highlight Reel. Jeff Hardy comes stumbling out in a Raven-like stupor. Jericho will begin to bring up the fact that Jeff’s dog died, his house burned down, and the fact that Jeff is looking a sad puppy dog begging for sympathy. Jeff Hardy tells him that he is not looking for sympathy, he just wants to be left alone to live his own life and make his own journey. At this point… Matt Hardy runs down and tells Jericho to leave his brother alone and he and Jericho brawl into the stands.

Judgement Day: Chris Jericho is set to defend against Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy is nowhere to be seen and is in violation of his contract. Matt Hardy steps up and takes his place. Matt Hardy vs. Jericho is set for Judgement Day and Jeff Hardy ends up running down and costing his brother the match.

Due to backing out of the match Jeff Hardy is sent to ECW and ends up being under the guidance of a woman in ECW. I think Melina would be a great fit because of the way she presents a character. Jeff would have fueds with Morrison due to Melina’s involvement.

Jeff would also send people to fight Matt Hardy on Smackdown and create a Dreamer/Raven style fued. The inevitable goal is that he tears himself away from the influence of Melina and reunite with his brother following a match at No Way Out. The stipulation of the match would be: If Matt Hardy wins, he gets a chance for the money in the bank. If Jeff Hardy wins, he gets a chance for the money in the bank.

Matt wins and Melina starts berating Jeff Hardy. Morrison comes down and starts beating up Jeff. Matt makes the save and ends up giving Jeff Hardy the money in the bank match. And Matt and Morrison can fight at WM.

Jeff wins the money in the bank and captures the gold at Backlash against HBK due to him defeating The Undertaker in a retirement match at WM. 🙂

WHAT DO I THINK?: You know, I really like the fact that you have Matt Hardy coming out and attacking Jericho for making fun of Jeff. It punches the “brotherly love” button and they have a history of doing that. Remember when Orton attacked the place-where-Matt-Hardy’s-appendix-used-to-be and then Jeff got revenge for his brother by doing the swanton from ninety feet in the air? Now the roles are reversed and the older Hardy can return the favor. But wait… you booked the swerve! Jeff doesn’t want his brother’s help, he just wants to be left alone, and he gets “exiled” to ECW and hooks up with Melina in his darkest hour. But if he feuds with John Morrison after turning heel by costing Matt Hardy the match, are they both bad guys or did you have a Morrison face turn in mind? I like you how plan on promoting the MITB with Hardy vs. Hardy at No Way Out ’09 and the payoff to the Melina-Morrison issue sounds interesting, but I’m not a huge fan of the feud itself for the simple fact that these three were already involved in a struggle over the Intercontinental Championship in the fall of 2006. Hardy winning his first world title from Shawn Michaels sure sounds nice, though!

Opinion #3: Reichoi Shinsake
“Elijah Burke’s Bitch”

I think Jeff Hardy should first be drafted to Smackdown for a variety of reasons (the Friday night timeslot is better for talents that appeal to kids, plus a guy as unreliable as Jeff doesn’t need to be on live TV). If I were booking/promoting, he wouldn’t be near the top of the card for months.

In fact, he would also initially work a lot of ECW shows as part of the talent exchange, helping get a few key guys over and get ratings up for Sci-Fi and MyNetworkTV. For example, I would use him on ECW/Smackdown to push Elijah Burke, John Morrison, and Kenny Dykstra. I can see those three being big time players over the next decade if they get a chance. Getting the rub from Jeff Hardy would go a long way – a lot further than beating Tommy Dreamer or Stevie Richards.

As for the mid-May return episode? Hardy returns on Smackdown, the announcers discuss how he took some time off after his house burned down, how he’s the newest addition to their roster, and then how he gets the quick win over some jobber. Nothing about wellness. Then he wrestles on ECW on Tuesday against another jobber – same outcome. After the match, he’s in a backstage vignette where he bumps into Elijah Burke, who gives him the “Vince hand-picked me as the future of ECW, this is my show” routine, leading to a feud to get Burke over. Nothing too complicated.

I’m sorry his dog died in the fire, but other than that, I have no sympathy for the man. Jeff Hardy makes bad decisions, and I wouldn’t trust him to be in any complex storyline, hold any title, or book anything with him long-term.

WHAT DO I THINK?: You articulate a strong position and one that I have to respect. I’m sure a lot of 411 readers might echo your sentiments as they are just tired of feeling the Jeff Hardy letdown. If you were a new wrestling fan and we were watching the first Jeff Hardy match you had ever seen, I could certainly paint you a picture of a superstar that is not worth getting too invested in (dare I say emotionally invested in?) due to his inability to keep his personal demons under control and his tendency to build you up and then burst your bubble. You might start using Jeff Hardy matches as bathroom breaks because if you knew that if you actually sat there and watched then you might forget about his unreliability, his lack of passion at times, and his failure to follow through… and you might start to like him again. I understand. But Elijah Burke? You’re pushing that guy? I’m not with you. Sorry.

Opinion #4: Derrick Jones
“Short and Sweet”

I think Jeff Hardy will come back to feud with Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Championship, who is fueding with Mr. Kennedy at the time setting up a triple threat for the IC Championship at Judgement Day.

WHAT DO I THINK?: I would love to see that match, buddy. A Y2J/Kennedy feud could be a step in the right direction for Mr. Kennedy as a main eventer, and Jeff is a logical inclusion into the mix because he was the IC Champ immediately before his suspension and has beef with Jericho. Good work, to the point, I dig it.

Opinion #5: Daniel Wilcox
“Rockstar versus Straightedge”

Because of the pay-per-view, let’s say that Hardy returns the night after Judgment Day, May 19th. At Judgment Day, CM Punk (who has been drafted to Raw) defeated Chris Jericho in a “Briefcase vs. Title” match and is now the Intercontinental Champion.

Raw kicks off with Chris Jericho and his Highlight Reel. He brings out his guest, Jeff Hardy. Jericho is quick to point out that Jeff screwed up, again, so Hardy responds by pointing out that last time he was on the Highlight Reel, he laid out Jericho with a Twist of Fate. Hardy says he was coming back to get his IC title, but when he got there, Jericho had lost it. Jericho says he’s glad Hardy mentioned it because he has a rematch against CM Punk for the Intercontinental Championship, tonight. Hardy says he hopes Jericho wins, because he wants to avenge his loss. They shake hands, and Jericho hits Hardy with a low blow before walking out.

Later on in the title match, Punk and Jericho have another terrific back and forth effort that goes a good 15 minutes. During the course of the match, the referee gets knocked down. Jericho takes advantage and low blows Punk for hitting the Codebreaker. Enter Jeff Hardy, who hits the Twist of Fate on Jericho and allows Punk to crawl across and get the cover to retain the IC title. Punk soon realizes what happened and stares down Jeff Hardy.

We later get a backstage segment with Punk and Hardy. Punk says he didn’t want and he didn’t need Hardy’s help. Jeff says he and Jericho had unfinished business, but Punk now has 2 things that Hardy wants; the IC title and the MITB briefcase.

The May 26th edition of Raw kicks off with a match between Jericho and Hardy with the winner getting a title shot at One Night Stand. It only goes a couple of minutes before CM Punk interferes and lays out Jericho with the briefcase, and then nailing Hardy with the Intercontinental Championship. William Regal then informs Punk that he’ll defend the gold against both men at ONS in a Triple Threat Cage Match.

June 1st, One Night Stand; the cage match is a long and bloody affair. Jericho and Punk team up on Hardy for long portions of the match but Hardy keeps coming back. Towards the closure of the match, Jericho hits Punk with the Codebreaker, but then Hardy nails Jericho with the Twist of Fate. He climbs to the top of the cage to escape, but then changes his mind and tries to hit a Swanton Bomb on Jericho. He nails it, but Punk recovers in time to toss him into the cage and pin Jericho.

With Jericho taking the pin at One Night Stand, the main feud is now between Hardy and Punk. Punk is now fully heel. He cuts promos dissing Hardy and his drug habits, claiming to be superior because he is straight edge. Jeff says he has more desire, and his mistakes have made he more hungry to be the best that he can be. He wants a shot at the MITB briefcase. But Vengeance is a Night of Champions, so Punk will give Hardy one more IC title shot, if he can beat Punk on the 16th June edition of Raw. Hardy pins Punk with a jack-knife roll-up. Punk is so confident that he will beat Hardy at Vengeance, on the June 22nd edition of Raw, he says that if Hardy beats him for the title, he will give him a shot at MITB.

Vengeance rolls around and the two have another great match. Hardy scores the win following a Swanton Bomb.

Their MITB match is booked for The Great American Bash, July 20th. On the 7th of July, Jeff Hardy defends the Intercontinental Championship against JBL. With a little help from CM Punk, JBL beats Hardy for the title. The next week, the team of John Cena, Jeff Hardy and Shawn Michaels beat CM Punk, JBL and Randy Orton when Hardy gets the pin on Punk.

Punk vs. Hardy at the Bash ends in controversary. Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb, but Punk gets a foot on the rope. He recovers and hits the GTS on Hardy and pins him for 3, while the referee does not notice that Hardy got his own foot on the bottom rope. Punk retains Money in the Bank. As you’d expect, this would set up a rematch. With people doubting Punk’s ability to beat Hardy (remember, Hardy has 3 pins on Punk), Punk accepts Jeff’s request for a rematch, and even makes it a Ladder Match, so long as Hardy agrees to a stipulation that would mean Jeff gets no more shots at MITB.

At Summerslam on August 17th, the two have a fantastic Ladder Match which CM Punk narrowly wins. Punk would continue his run as a heel against the likes of Shawn Michaels and Triple H before cashing in against John Cena around Survivor Series. Hardy meanwhile, would go after the IC title and win it for a 5th time. Come Mania, assuming he’s not fired, he would be favourite to win MITB and hopefully get back on track.

WHAT DO I THINK?: Everybody has a list in their head of the things that they know are going to happen sooner or later. The above scenario hits a few of them on the head. First of all, CM Punk’s character is such that we just know he will make an awesome heel when the time comes. The straightedge, better-than-you asshole is just begging to crawl out of that guy. It makes total sense that he would take offense to Hardy’s lifestyle. Second of all, the MITB briefcase is such that it can be traded like a championship belt. We saw last year that unpredictability is what the briefcase is all about, so I figured it was just a matter of time before entire feuds were structured around it. Pretty much everything about your opinion sounds very possible and I certainly hope that any upcoming feud between Punk and Hardy contains as many positives for each guy as you planned out. And as for Jeff getting a second (third?) chance at the MITB at next year’s Wrestlemania, let’s just hope that history doesn’t repeat itself.

Opinion #6: Stephan Straka
“Midcard Floundering”

Jeff is simply too unreliable. He was at the peak of his career so far, pinning Triple H cleanly, looking good in the main event for the Rumble and slated to win Money in the Bank at WrestleMania. Then he pissed it away. Sorry but he’s simply not the guy to trust with anything greater than the midcard.

Let’s have the WWE pay for the surgery that Jeff also needs, keeping him out for another few months. This allows plenty of time for a Jericho/Punk feud for the IC title. Hardy can then come back and challenge Punk for the title and lose; obviously presented as “straight-edge is better than drug addict.” Jeff can then flounder around in the midcard, winning some, losing some but generally not doing anything important. If Jeff doesn’t have surgery and comes back after the suspension is over, he can feud with Jericho for the title and lose before Jericho loses the title to Punk with the same presentation: “straight-edge does what drug users can’t.”

WHAT DO I THINK?: This is a bit of a combination of #3 and #5, I think. On the one hand, Hardy isn’t in the main event because he is irresponsible and doesn’t deserve the push. On the other hand, he still gets inserted into a secondary title feud right off the bat and his “crazy-drug-addict” character is used to put over CM Punk’s “straight-edge” character. I can’t argue with the logic behind pushing Jeff and Punk simultaneously, kind of like the Rock/HHH feud in the summer of ’98. The Intercontinental Championship also gains some prestige in the process because people are actually interested in having it. Both guys could become huge stars because of their involvement with one another, and that’s a good thing.

Opinion #7: Daniel Zdonek, Jr.
“Hardy Boyz No More”

RAW – May 12, 2008 – Last match of the night, Randy Orton pins Y2J for the victory. Jeff Hardy’s music starts and Jeff is out. Jeff stops at the top of the ramp looks at Orton, looks at the crowd, and with a disgusted look, walks backstage. King & Lawler are like WTF?

Six days later @ Judgment Day. Matt Hardy ( c ) v. MVP for US Title. Near the end of a long match, the ref takes a bump and Matt has MVP ready for the pin. Jeff is out and into the ring. Matt looks at Jeff, MVP is up. Twist of Fate to Matt followed by a swanton bomb. Jeff out of the ring and the ref is now up. MVP pins Matt to take the title. Matt is up and stares as Jeff leaves.

Raw – May 19, 2008 – Show opens with Matt Hardy in the ring. He demands to know why Jeff cost him the US Title. Jeff is out and in the ring. Jeff gives the promo of his life, stating that Matt has always been the favored one, the one getting all of the breaks. He got all of the glory when they were the Tag Champs, He got the girl ( Lita), even when he lost the girl he still got a high profile program out of it with Edge. What does Jeff get? Nothing. He lost his MITB shot and he even lost his house and dog because Matt left the stove on. He is tired of being the second Hardy. Before Matt can respond Jeff hits a Twist of Fate and leaves.

Smackdown – May 23, 2008 – Matt vs MVP US Rematch. – Short match when Jeff comes out hits MVP and the ref disqualifies Matt costing him the title again. Vicki is out. She is tired of Matt and his prior battles with Edge. She sets up a tag match for later. Matt and MVP vs Edge and Jeff. After a quick match where Matt pins Jeff, all three beat down Matt. The show ends with Jeff standing over a bloody Matt saying this isn’t over.

Draft lottery in June sends Matt to Raw. The feud continues over the next several weeks leading to a match at Vengeance, where the winner gets a shot at the GAB for the IC Title. Matt wins and takes the IC Title at the GAB. The feud continues up to Summerslam where they finish with an IC Title match/loser leaves RAW match. Jeff wins the match after a surprise appearance/interference by Lita. The feud ends with Jeff standing tall is IC Champ w/Lita by his side and Matt returns to Smackdown. Since Jeff is now one of the top heels on raw, he works into a program against the Champ that ends with him taking the Title in the fall.

Although there is high risk in this program due to a possible relapse. The payoff for a Matt/Jeff feud would be huge. If done right it could propel both to top tier status.

WHAT DO I THINK?: Whoa! You totally caught me off-guard when you included Lita in your prediction. That would be crazy! I agree with everyone who thinks that a Matt/Jeff feud is in the future. The question is: how far? I just talked about the Things That Everybody Knows Will Happen. The explosion (re-explosion?) of the Hardy Boyz is going to happen… but including (re-including?) that piece of trailer-park trash would really make me sick to my stomach. In my mind, I like to think that Lita has more than worn out her welcome in the WWE and that everyone is better for it. What a skank whore. Everything else about your scenario would make for good television, for sure, but I’m just not entirely certain that they’re ready to pull the trigger on this feud already.

Opinion #8: Steve T.
“Change of Pace”

May 12: RAW kicks off with Chris Jericho and the Highlight Reel. He introduces his very special guest: The King of Extreme, The Rainbow Haired Warrior Jeff Hardy! Hardy’s music kicks in, and the fans go nuts. After a slight delay and a re-introduction, the music starts again. Hardy comes out calmly, in a nice, three-piece suit, clean-shaven with a “normal” haircut and color. He slowly walks down the aisle, as everyone is kind of in shock.

He gets in the ring, walks up to Jericho, and offers a polite handshake. Jericho takes it, still trying to figure out what’s going on. “Hey Jeff! What’s the deal with the suit? Been to a funeral or something?” Hardy responds, very sincerely: “First of all, greetings and salutations to you Christopher. Secondly, I prefer to be called Jeffrey now, if you please. And yes, I have been to a funeral, the funeral of how did you put it? The King of Extreme, The Rainbow Haired Warrior Jeff Hardy? As you and the fans may or may not know or even care for that matter, I have been suspended for the last ninety days for failing the Wellness Policy. I have struggled with my inner demons for many years now, and they caught me again. I missed WrestleMania, and that was going to be my crowning achievement.”

Jericho responds, “Look, Jeff…er Jeffrey, you don’t have to do this here in front of everyone.” “That is where you are wrong Christopher. I do have to do this in front of everyone. You know what else happened during my ninety-day break? My house burned down, and I lost everything I own.” Jericho is obviously very uncomfortable at this point. “When your whole life collapses on you in a matter of days, it gives you some perspective on life. I figured it’s about time I grew up. I got into a good program with some good people, and I got myself a sponsor. He has advised me that my other obsessions were feeding those demons. The way I wrestle, the “extremeness” of my ability would feed the demons. Every dive off of a ladder, every Swanton of the cage, every Whisper in the Wind, they all helped the demons thrive. I have been training, changing my approach to the ring. I hope I will continue to have your support, but I’m not Jeff Hardy, King of Extreme, anymore. I am Jeffrey Hardy, King of Control.”

Jericho, “Well, Jeffrey, I don’t see the logic behind changing your wrestling style. Who is the ass clown that told you to do that?” Hardy, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” From behind the curtain steps William Regal, in his workout gear. “I have resigned as RAW GM to devote my time to my protégé. You see, I have taken young Jeffrey under my wing. I have been in his situation myself and know how to deal with the demons. Come along Jeffrey, we have training to do.” Hardy shakes Jericho’s hand as he leaves and quietly follows Regal up the ramp.

From here, we could see clips of Hardy training to be a more mat based wrestler. He and Regal could show up at different events, RAW, Smackdown, and ECW, watching and scouting matches. Regal pointing things out as Hardy just nods and takes notes, like a kid in school. All his old friends (Jericho, Matt, even HHH) would try to talk to him, but he would just ask for their support and follow Regal.

When he starts wrestling again after a couple of weeks, he would be as much of a “mini-Regal” as possible, maybe even winning his matches with the Regal-stretch. He would still “be good” and not cheat, but eventually enough of Regal’s talk gets to him, and he would start cutting corners, ever so slightly. He would finally full-out cheat to win to I-C belt, under the reasoning of it’s rightfully his property. He could run as a heel I-C champ for two to three months, feuding with Jericho, Cody Rhodes, and other mid-card faces, with Regal by his side at all times.

Finally, Matt has enough and sets up Regal to miss his flight. He then stages an intervention of sorts to show Jeff how much he’s changed in the past few months. Jeff just says he’ll think about it and leaves. The next week, Regal is back, and he costs Jeff the belt as punishment for “associating with those ruffians last week.” And more punishment is on the way he promises at SummerSlam, when Hardy must pass his final test to be free of his demons, Regal himself. After a hard fought contest, Regal beats Jeff, and then proceeds to beat the crap out of him after the match and spits on him. He gets the microphone and runs down Jeff in his usual Regal way, saying that he can never beat his demons and “you can’t beat me, Sunshine!”

That could lead to Jeff going back into seclusion for a while, then “calling in” live during RAW and challenging Regal for a cage match at the next PPV. Regal accepts, and at the match the Jeff Hardy of old returns, and after a hard fought 20 or so minutes, gets the win with a Swanton from the cage.

He could then slide back into his role as an mid to upper card face. I see him winning the Rumble next year and challenging for one of the big belts at WrestleMania 25, to cap his comeback.

WHAT DO I THINK?: This is definitely the most interesting submission of the week and I give you a lot of credit for convincing me that Hardy went through a complete character change, right down to the mat-based wrestling moves. I think it would be extremely interesting to see Jeff Hardy go through this kind of a character renaissance because he has one of the most unique styles of any wrestler. I, for one, would be more interested in watching his matches because of this change of style. This reminds me of what might have happened back when the Right to Censor was around. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see the Godfather (with hos) after that RTC “Goodfather” crap was said and done. On a much larger scale, that’s what we’ll be looking at here. You did a very good job of establishing that kind of “can’t wait to see him as his old self” anticipation in me and you told a good, provocative story. Thank you for your creativity!

My Opinion
“An Extreme Re-Awakening”

On the April 28th episode of Raw, a promo video airs hyping the return of Jeff Hardy in two weeks. The announcers hype him as a superstar who has “battled his personal demons” and is determined to right his past wrongs. Immediately after the promo airs, the camera cuts to a shot of Raw General Manager William Regal looking distastefully upon a monitor backstage. He shakes his head and walks away.

On the May 12th episode of Raw, Jeff Hardy’s music hits and the crowd goes wild. They expect to see their high-flying favorite return from suspension with renewed vigor. Unfortunately, Hardy does not appear on the entrance ramp. William Regal does, however, and says that he has a very important announcement to make regarding the future of Jeff Hardy. “I had no choice but to suspend that dirty little runt just before Wrestlemania,” the Raw GM says, “and I can tell you now that I do not intend to allow him to sully this show again with his… irresponsible activity.” Regal proudly states that Jeff Hardy’s contract with made transferrable during the suspension period and so he did just that – he transferred the contract, and Hardy’s specific performance contained therein, to the hands of ECW General Manager Armando Estrada. “Let those cretins in ECW straighten him out!” Regal yells right before announcing Monday night’s newest superstar (the other half of the trade): Big Daddy V!

ECW’s May 13th show opens with Armando Estrada smiling proudly into the camera. The camera zooms out to reveal that Estrada and Jeff Hardy are standing in a backstage office. Hardy tells him that he is not happy to be shuffled around like this and that he wants to be traded back to Raw. “A deal is a deal,” the ECW GM plainly puts it. “So you had better just focus on making an impact here in ECW right off the bat, you know what I mean?” Jeff Hardy just slams the office door in Estrada’s face and leaves the arena.

At the May 18th Judgment Day pay-per-view event, ECW Champion Kane faces Shelton ‘The Gold Standard’ Benjamin. While the two men battle outside the ring, a renegade Jeff Hardy runs through the crowd and hops the guard barrier. He smacks both men with a chair and the match ends in a disqualification. The Big Red Machine sits up and glares at Hardy as he hoists the chair into the air. Hardy quickly leaves the arena again.

Two days later, Jeff Hardy shows up on ECW says that he did exactly what Estrada told him to do: he made an impact. “I’ve learned to make the best of the situation that I’m in,” the Charismatic Enigma explains, “so I’m setting my sights on the ECW Championship and I don’t care who I have to go through to get it!” This brings out Shelton Benjamin, who claims that he deserves another title shot because Jeff ruined his last one. Armando Estrada makes Jeff vs. Shelton for the number one contender spot. In his first match back, it doesn’t look like Jeff has lost a step – he hits the swanton bomb and earns a title match at One Night Stand in less than two weeks!

At the June 1st One Night Stand pay-per-view, Jeff Hardy falls just short against Kane for the ECW Championship. For a while it seems as if his quickness and agility may be able to overcome the brute strength of the Big Red Machine, but his fate is sealed when Kane tosses him off the top rope while he prepares to deliver the second swanton bomb of the mach. A few moments later, he is chokeslammed for the pinfall.

Kane opens the show two nights later to talk about the event on June 29th, Vengeance: Night of Champions. “I don’t think anyone would be stupid enough to want to face me,” Kane says, laughing in that creepy manner of his. “But I feel bad for whoever that unlucky guy might be.” Of course, this brings Jeff Hardy out to a huge ovation. He says that he just didn’t get what he wanted out of their match last night and so he talked the GM into giving him a rematch… in an environment where both of them might feel more comfortable. “In less than four weeks, Kane, I’m going to face you in a match that has never been seen before!” Jeff Hardy exclaims. “And I’m going to beat you for the ECW Championship in the first-ever Inferno Ladder match!”

I don’t think either of these men really has to pull off a heel turn. They can both be the type of characters that they are (Jeff – friendly neighborhood risk-taker, Kane – monster who doesn’t give a shit) and the crowd will take care of the rest. For the four weeks leading up to Vengeance I would expect the match to get a lot of hype just for its flashiness.

At the June 29th Vengeance pay-per-view, Jeff Hardy captures the ECW Championship from Kane in the first-ever Inferno Ladder match. I just kind of made this match up and I thought it would be cool to see both of these guys in their signature elements. For this to work you would have to set the top rope on fire but still leave room underneath for the guys to slide out and return with the ladder. Imagine if Jeff was climbing the ladder and Kane tipped it over, sending Jeff flying over the fire and outside the ring? Totally cool. I think the ladder-match rules should preside and that Jeff will win by climbing and retrieving his prize, just like he was supposed to do at Wrestlemania, except three months later.

From here, I would book the next several weeks with Jeff as the champion defending against Shelton and John Morrison. As for Kane, I think he could be used as the “angry ex-champion” who feuds with Colin Delaney or Miz to give them credibility. But this topic isn’t about Kane, so screw him, really. I think Great American Bash on July 20th should feature a triple threat match between Hardy, Benjamin, and Morrison. Hardy retains his title and is the champion going into Summerslam, where he defends it against the returning Rob Van Dam. In a dramatic demonstration of daredevils, RVD comes out on top and becomes the new ECW Champion.

Well, that’s all we have for this week. Thanks again to everyone who participated in making this my favorite column on the Internet. I couldn’t have done it without you guys.

We’re not done yet, though. There’s still the matter of what we’re going to talk about next week. The card for Backlash is starting to take shape, so let’s see what you guys think about it!

Question Three (due date: Tuesday, April 15 @ 11 PM)
The title matches are set for Backlash and are listed below. Predict the outcome of these matches and tell me what repurcussions you think will be felt because of these results?

World Championship: The Undertaker (c) vs. Edge
WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield
ECW Championship: Kane (c) vs. Chavo Guererro

Send your thoughts, responses, entries, rants and ideas to [email protected]!