The Fink’s Payload 05.08.08: WWE and TNA Collide, Part 2A of 3

Hey-oh!

It’s time for the Fink’s Payload again!

In case any of you missed last week’s article, go ahead and check it out before proceeding any further. Today’s edition of the Payload is part two (well, 2A, for those of you who noticed that the column is a little late… more on that later) of a three-part series titled:

“The Fink’s Payload Proudly Presents Your Thoughts on What Would Possibly Happen If and When the WWE and TNA Superstars Interacted on the Television Screen in Some Sort of a Crossover Event!”

Don’t look at me. I was short on time, so I outsourced my titling duties to the Punjabi region. I’m pretty sure that one was written by a former World Champion, but can’t say for sure.

Anyways, we’re going to get directly into your submissions. It looked like a lot of you enjoyed the extra time to work out some extra-detailed thoughts. As such, I’m going to limit my commentary to one positive remark and one not-so-positive remark about what you submitted. This way you can hear less of me and more of you, which is how this column should be. Here we go!

Opinion #1: Steve T.
“My Ticket Says First Class, But I’d Rather be Coach”

From the WWE website:
“World Wrestling Entertainment regrets to announce the release of Jonathan “The Coach” Coachman. We would like the wish Coach all the best in his future endeavors.”

From the TNA website, the next day:
“Total Nonstop Action would like to announce the signing of Jonathan Coachman to an announcer contract. He will make his TNA debut this Thursday on the special live edition of TNA Impact! On Spike TV!”

When Impact rolls around, Coach is in the announce booth with Mike Tenay. Don West is now interviewer guy. When the show kicks off, Tenay welcomes Coach to TNA. Coach’s only reply is, “I don’t wanna be here. I’m only doing this for the money to feed my family. So leave me alone.”

TNA really stacked the show to give it a PPV feel:
Tag Title: MCMG vs. LAX vs. Team 3D
X-Title: Jay Lethal vs. Johnny Devine vs. Petey Williams
Grudge Match: Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles (Six Sides of Steel)
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim (Gail’s last title shot ever)
TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle (Submission or KO only)

The tag title match kicks off Impact. Coach is just running down everybody. “The Guns are little flippy-floppy guys.” “LAX needs to be deported.” “The Dud-, oh excuse me, Team 3D is old.” Eventually, due to shenanigans, Team 3D takes the belts.

While the insults during the tag match were bad, they have nothing on what Coach says during the X match. He just runs down all three constantly. Team 3D comes down and helps Devine regain the X-Title.

While the cage is put into place for the grudge match, the camera “accidentally” catches Jeff Jarrett yelling at Coach with the mike off.

During the cage match, Coach doesn’t say much, only injecting the occasional bland comment. Cage gets the win when Tomko comes out and distracts AJ, leading to the Unprettier.

When Gail Kim is announced for her title match, Coach says something like, “Hey, I remember her.” When Awesome Kong comes out, Coach immediately starts ranting and raving about how male-on-female violence should never be allowed. When Tenay informs him that Awesome Kong is a woman, Coach just starts laughing. “Really? This is your women’s champ? Have you seen our champ, Mickie James? Now there’s a knockout for you.” Tenay lets the comment slide. The match is the usual Gail/Kong match. It goes to a commercial break in the middle. When they come back from break, Don West is at the announce booth, and no mention is made of Coach. The referee accidentally gets knocked-out in a mid-ring collision. While he’s out, Christy Hemme comes out behind Kong and jumps on her back with the good ole “chloroform on the rag” trick. With Kong out, Gail covers her for the easy pin.

When Impact comes back from commercial, Coach is in the ring yelling (without a mic), “Jeff you can’t keep me down! I will be heard!” With that, the music of Samoa Joe fills the ImpactZone. “I think everyone has heard enough of your lip, Coach!” Coach doesn’t back down. “Boy you have no idea what I’m capable of.” Joe smiles, spins him around and locks in the Clutch. Kurt Angle comes down, Joe sees him, releases the Clutch and gets ready to fight. Kurt holds up his hands like “Hold on a minute,” and he pushes Coach out of the ring. The bell rings to start the title match. It’s the usual great affair from Kurt and Joe. Eventually Joe gets Kurt up for the Muscle Buster, and here comes Nash. He distracts Joe long enough for Kurt to get the Angle Slam. When he applies the AnkleLock, Earl Hebner calls for the bell, quickly (almost Montreal-like). As Kurt and Nash celebrate, Coach sneaks back into the ring and begins putting the boots to Joe. Nash angrily pulls him off, then smiles and hugs him, as does Kurt.

Coach on the mic, ” I told you not to mess with me Joe. But no you couldn’t leave well enough alone. Nobody puts his hands on Mr. McMahon’s personal assistant like that. Oops… I said the M-word on Impact! Well, guess what? You better get used to it because the Boss is taking over this little rat’s nest.”

Kurt: “You think I chose this God-forsaken hellhole over the major leagues on purpose? Don’t make me laugh. Mr. McMahon sent me, sent us, here to destroy Jarrett’s little dream once and for all.”

Out comes Jeff Jarrett, without music, but with mic. “You’re going to destroy us? 4 men, well 2 men and Earl and Coach, against the TNA army? You’re out of your mind. We will crush you and your little invasion. The we’ll send you back to the WWE with your tails between you legs.”

Nash: “Hey Jeff! Who said it was only 4 men?”

Jarrett turns around and is face to face with Team 3-D, Johnny Devine, Christian, and Tomko, along with Gail Kim and Christy Hemme. They immediately begin to lay the boots to Jarrett and drag him to the ring. There he takes finishers from every one of them. When Joe tries to help, he gets the same treatment. The guys hold Jarrett up and Coach says, “Hey Jeff, look around. Mr. McMahon is in control of every one of your titles!” Coach then pulls out a guitar and blasts Jarrett over the head with it. Impact ends with the WWE crew standing tall over a bloody Jarrett and Joe.

This could lead to speculation on who else is in the WWE crew. Booker T? BG and Kip James? Eventually, some actual WWE superstars, especially Big Show, Batista and Mr. McMahon, could come in and help the WWE cause (and give the angle some legitimacy). Some TNA guys could lead counter-attacks on WWE programming. This could lead to an eventual mega-PPV with a main event of Angle/Christian/Tomko/Big Show/Batista vs. Joe/Sting/AJ/Jarrett/Abyss in Six Sides of Steel, with the winners getting control of TNA forever. Team TNA would of course win the match. They could then use the rub of beating WWE at their own game to help takes the next step to national prominence, and Vince gets some actual competition to drive up fan interest.

ONE GOOD: You’re the first one to use the conspiracy that Kurt Angle was sent to TNA by Vince to make himself look like an asshole and drive the company into the ground with him. I heard that somewhere on the Internet a while ago and thought that would be a backstage story bigger than the Montreal Screwjob if it were true. You turned that into a nice little story that I really enjoyed.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: I would have picked better WWE representatives than the Big Show and Batista, but it’s kind of nitpicking. Seems like you kind of drew those guys’ names out of a hat. Why are they chosen by McMahon? I understand that the majority of this feud is between TNA superstars (former-WWE-ers vs. never-been-WWE-ers) but the inclusion of anyone from the red or blue brands could have been explained a little better.

Opinion #2: Glen Russell
“You Can’t Spell ‘TNA World Champion’ without ‘ROH'”

It would start with a series of videos on WWE TV showing a mysterious shadowy figure beating up different wrestlers and using a variety of moves that don’t get seen too much in the WWE, like the Kokina Clutch, and the Muscle Buster. The videos end with the simple words “He’s Coming”.

Eventually “He” turns out to be none other than Samoa Joe, as he shows up on WWE Television and he defeats a lower mid-carder like Bob Holly or someone. Afterwards he claims that he comes to the WWE to take on all comers, and prove that he is the best. He then brings out the TNA Title and claims (like Flair) that this represents to REAL World Title, and he is the Champion, and proves that he will take on all comers.

On TNA TV, Tenay and West don’t mention that Joe can be seen “All sorts of places”, but ensure that he is a contracted TNA Wrestler. Meanwhile, Jim Cornette is infuriated and tries to stack the deck against Joe by putting the best of the best in the King of the Mountain Match at Slammiversary, say Sting, Angle, AJ, and Cage, and even offers a bribe to anyone who can make sure that he doesn’t win.

But on WWE TV, Joe continues to roll and at starts trash talking against Sting, Angle, et al. to which the WWE announcers act confused, and play it down. The week of Slammiversary, he then hypes how he is going to beat them all “This Sunday” only to have his mic get cut off.

Then come Slammiversary, Joe retains in a thrilling match. After the match ends some music unfamiliar to TNA fans comes on, as CM Punk comes out, brief case in tow. He hands the brief case to the ref, attacks a beaten Joe, pins him and walks away with the TNA Title. He shows up on the next episode of ECW and claims that his shot was guaranteed for any World Title and he chose the “Real” one in order to shut Joe up. Cornette, and members of TNA Show up on ECW and claim that they can contractually force Punk to defend their title on TNA Impact all they want.

Meanwhile, The Miz and John Morrison are running their mouth about being the greatest Tag Teams in the world. Teddy Long makes them prove it Vengeance in an open challenge Tag Team Turmoil Match. The champs appear to retain after eliminating Rhodes and Holly last. Then, some other unfamiliar music hits as The Motor City Machine Guns come and say they are “The True Competition” and go on to defeat Miz and Morrison, taking the Tag Titles with them.

Also, Punk challenges Kane in a Title vs. Title Match, which he wins, as he claims that he is on the path to “Unite the Divided Titles, once and for all”. Afterwards Joe goes to attack Punk, but Kane makes the save, only to have Rhino gore Kane, and join Joe in the beatdown, claiming “You aren’t Extreme”.

TNA Victory Road features The Motor City Machine Guns face Miz and Morrison in a rematch for the WWE Tag Titles, and a No Holds Barred Main Event of Joe and Rhino vs. Punk and Kane.

Shawn Michaels meanwhile is having some problems with two heels, say Orton and Kennedy, who continue to attack and berate him. They challenge him to a tag match at The Great American Bash, knowing that Triple H is forced to defend his WWE Title, so they think that he can’t find a partner. Shawn says that he has one as a man who he ” has a great deal of respect for, both in and out of the ring”. One episode of RAW when they are doing a beat down, the lights go down and Sting comes to the rescue, signaling that he is going to team with Shawn at the Bash.

HBK and Sting, naturally win their match, but right afterwards HBK Superkicks Sting in the face. He then reverts to Summer of 2005 style heel, as he runs down Sting as being old, run down, and having no place in “his ring”. Sting occasionally shows up in the rafters, and messes with HBK’s head. A match is of course signed for Summerslam.

Summerslam 2008 includes:
Sting vs. Shawn Michaels
TNA Title Match: CM Punk (c) vs. Samoa Joe
Ultimate X Match for the WWE Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns (c) vs. The Miz and John Morrison
No DQ Match: Rhino/Team 3D vs. Finlay/The Hardy Boys (Just cause it would be awesome)
…plus the usual: Triple H vs. Cena, Taker defending the title, and other WWE Matches.

Of course the feud between these two companies rages until some big climax at either Bound For Glory, Survivor Series, or (if it goes well) Wrestlemania.

ONE GOOD: Very creative use of the Money in the Bank briefcase. No doubt it would make Punk the number one face in the WWE if he cashed it in against Joe. You establish a rivalry between them that isn’t completely based on “I’m from WWE, so I hate anyone from TNA” and vice versa. Good work there.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: It was hard to think of anything, but I wonder what the rest of the locker room is doing here. I would liked to have seen more interaction between Triple H, Kurt Angle, Undertaker, Edge, Christian, etc. Just doesn’t make sense that they would just go on with normal programs while the undercard wages war.

Opinion #3: Stephers
“You Start Off Slow, then You Go for the Throat”

RAW on May 5th, 2008
Coming to us live from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, we cut to a backstage vignette where King GM William Regal greets SmackDown!’s Vickie Guerrero and her fiancé, Edge. As the hometown boy, he was showing her around the sites and also wanted to let everybody know that on Friday Night in London, he’ll be tying the knot with his sweetheart on the CW.
Regal wishes them the best and Edge replies with the instantly dooming phrase: “Oh, it’s going to be a night to remember.”

ECW on May 6th, 2008
Eve & Kelly are seen backstage and they cross paths with Hawkins & Ryder. The ladies ask them why the invitations for Vickie & Edge’s wedding are harder to find than a proper wrestling phrase from Mike Adamle. They reply that it’s a small wedding but that they can watch it on SmackDown!, just like everybody else.

TNA on May 8th, 2008
Christian Cage is seen on his cell phone backstage, trying to reason with somebody as Crystal catches up with him, asking what’s going on. He says, “I’m having a misunderstanding with family,” before he hangs up and launches into a tirade against (fill in the blank stupid TNA opponent that Christian should crush soundly here).

SmackDown! on May 9th, 2008
Prior to the ceremony, Edge is at Vickie’s door, talking to her through it. (You’re not supposed to see the bride…yada…yada…) It was announced on WWE.com that there will be a tournament to crown a new World Champion. He’s upset, wanting to know why as the former champion, the title did not just come back to him. Vickie says it’s better for ratings to have the tournament and to not worry about it, as tonight’s going to be a wonderful evening for both of them. Frustrated, but still smiling, he goes to get dressed.

In the main event slot, we find Edge and Vickie, along with Chavo, Bam Neely, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder are the only ones in the ring for the ceremony. It’s a lot smaller than a lot of the ‘wrestling weddings,’ certainly less overdone than Teddy & Krystal’s misfire the year before. There’s no other guests, just the ring set up and the names mentioned above and the officiant. Just as the “if anybody here…” is coming out of the preacher’s lips, a voice from the stage says, “RIGHT OVER HERE!”
It’s Christian Cage, who’s rolling his eyes in disgust. “Bro, are you serious?” He runs down all the reasons why he shouldn’t marry Vickie and ends with, “whatever happened to that redhead you liked? She was a hot piece of ass.” Edge turns again to his fiancée and asks for her to give the title back to him. “Are you sure, Vickie? I mean, REALLY SURE.” She, for the first time in their relationship, stands up to him and says as the GM, it’s just not right to do it that way, but that he’ll win without issue, of this she’s sure.
He tells Hawkins and Ryder he’s ditching not a second after she’s done talking and makes sure to grab the engagement ring off of Vickie’s finger. Along with Christian, the Rated Rmy walk out as the show goes dark.

RAW on May 12th, 2008
‘Earlier that evening,’ both Jim Cornette & Vince McMahon are at the door waiting for Edge & Christian. Along with Hawkins & Ryder, they’ve spent every moment possible having a grand time in their home province. Cornette’s livid at Cage for jumping ship and states he’s still under contract with TNA, whether he likes it or not!
Christian tells ‘Ol’ Jimbo’ to relax and mentions that even if he works for TNA, he had to stop his brother from making a bad call. Edge’s now free again to make his own decisions, he continues, which is when Cage turns to Vince. “Thanks for letting me spread my wings, it’s been a slice.” Edge, Hawkins & Ryder stand there befuddled along with the Chairman as Christian and Jim Cornette walk off, seemingly for the last time.
The show is now at our main event, featuring King Regal versus Triple H in a no disqualification lumberjack match. There are a lot of familiar faces in the lumberjack pool but a lot of them are also wearing hats, pulled down low so no one can see their eyes. As the match starts, Triple H tosses Regal out and he’s given his beating before he goes back in. The odd thing is that when Triple H is then tossed to the floor, the same people, all in the hats, beat up the King of Kings.
After tossing him in, almost all of the hat wearing lumberjacks are revealed as some of TNA’s biggest stars: Christian Cage, Booker T, Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner, Jeff Jarrett, “Wildcat” Chris Harris, the Dudley Boyz (including Spike!) and Frankie Kazarian. Every TNA guy who’s ever been with WWE for anything resembling a time longer than a blink of an eye has comes out of the wood work to take their ‘ultimate revenge~!’
And this is where you can say it: It’s on like Donkey Kong. Some of the locker room clears out, mostly faces, but they’re left laying as Vince, Edge and all the rest of the WWE guys are up on the stage. McMahon asks what the hell’s going on. Cornette then reveals himself, hopping into the ring. “I’d say, sir, that you just met your competition!”

Fast Forwarding…
Over the course of several shows, pay-per-views and even live autograph appearances, WWE & TNA get into “each other’s business.” Even their stint on Larry King in mid-July (again, fantasy booking, roll with it) in support of their latest WWE Film venture is interrupted with a “Matt Hardy-like” call from Cornette, who asks when they’re going to get back to the business of wrestling and not a sideshow freak show?
It’s in this forum that McMahon’s had enough and he challenges Cornette to bring his ‘so-called performers’ down to Indianapolis for SummerSlam.

RAW on July 21st, 2008
Sitting across from one another for the cold open, Cornette and McMahon are at a neutral grounds in the arena to discuss the matches for SummerSlam’s big collision. Sitting with Cornette is Mike Tenay and Jeff Jarrett. Vince has Linda, Shane & Stephanie on his side.
Throughout the evening’s matches, we’ll have segments at the end showing another part of the SummerSlam card being ‘slide into place’ on a giant NFL Draft-style board. At the end of the night, we’re left with:

Clash of the Champions: TNA Heavyweight Champion Samoa Joe (with Dixie Carter) versus WWE Champion Triple H (with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)
This one’s a no-brainer. Joe’s a force and so is Triple H. As the ‘name players’ for their companies, Joe and Hunter would challenge each other to up their game in all ways, including on the mic. Added bonus? Stephanie comes back to Triple H’s corner to show the company’s behind him and reveal that yes, their love is stronger than kayfabe y’all. Meanwhile, Dixie finally publicly puts her faith in Joe as the company ‘guy’ for the world to see.

Brand Star versus Brand Star: TNA X-Division Champion AJ Styles versus John Cena
A mix of styles (ha, I pun) to be sure, but AJ has never been officially with the WWE and Cena’s never been officially with TNA. They’re folks who would stand up for their respective companies and their best stuff shine for the companies that believed in them from ‘the beginning.’

TNA Women’s Champion AWESOME KONG~! (with Raisha Saeed) versus WWE Women’s Champion Mickie James (with Beth Phoenix)
Here’s another no-brainer with the two best women in the biz on cable television going all out. If we had Sara Del Rey and MsChif at our disposal, it’d be a whole other story. Phoenix says she may not like Mickie, but she loves her pay cheque from Vince, so she’ll be in her rival’s corner.

TNA Tag Team Champions Homicide y Hernandez (with Shelly Martinez) versus the World Tag Team Champions Cryme Tyme
Reminding King Regal of the shot they won last year at New Year’s Revolution, the popular WWE duo claim the gold and then come face to face with the much harsher, Latino version of ‘themselves’ on the other side of the wrestling universe.

Super Comedy Fluff Match~! (Literally): Super Eric versus the Hurricane
I seem to keep booking him to come back – get well soon Mr. Helms! Anyways, comedy galore. The bonus round comes with Stone Cold Shark Boy as he marches down and helps end the match in a DQ finish. He not only stuns Hurricane but Eric, the referee and Tony Chimel. This brings out Austin who kicks the crap out of him and gives him the stunner to end all stunners.
Shark Boy is knocked out again and when he awakens this time, he’ll be back to his voiceless, jobbing self.

Battle of the ‘Almost Stars’: Frankie Kazarian versus CM Punk
Frankie worked for about a cup of coffee with WWE but that’s enough to build a story from. He feels he never got to where he should have been and he sees that in Punk, trying to tell him to join with TNA and get a real push. Punk then recounts his limited time in TNA where he was miserable and never felt welcomed. Optional Special Guest Referee? Tracy Brooks – she’s worked with both of these guys.

We Are Not Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts: Christian (with Tomko) versus Edge (with Hawkins & Ryder)
Probably the feud with the most heat from my fantasy card. Edge had let Christian back into the building on May 12th, which unknowingly caused the first invasion from TNA. The Rated R Superstar has to earn his stripes back and he wants to do so against the man that used his trust and brotherly bond for evil do (X the Eliminator: “The evil that I do do…”). Tomko comes to Christian’s aid as his second in case he needs a ‘problem solved.’

New ECW versus Original ECW: The Miz, John Morrison & Elijah Burke versus the Dudley Boyz & Rhino (with Spike Dudley)
Let’s face it, it’s not ECW like the Dudleyz and Rhino remember and Miz, Morrison and Burke think their version is better. A match ensues and we’ll add plunder & Spike Dudley to make it a winner. Joey Styles makes his triumphant return to the booth to call this match.

The Golden Boy versus the Conscious: Kurt Angle (with Karen Angle) versus the Undertaker (with Kane)
The Undertaker, with his classic mind games, goads Kurt into a match to prove if he’s learnt anything since the last time he walked through the valley in the shadow of death. Kane’s in there to scare off Karen plus just generally scowl.

Vince Russo Presents the Unlikely Partnership Tag Team Match O’Doom*: Jeff Jarrett & Sting versus Randy Orton & Shawn Michaels
* = Well, maybe not.
Because I have no idea what to do with these guys and I don’t want to copy anybody else’s idea, uhhhh, here’s a tag match!

Two issues for me. One – putting together the line-up so nobody backstage walks out because of their card position and Two – who wins? The only thing I know is with the way I built this, Edge & Christian pretty much have to go on last, because that’s where it all started.
Even if it didn’t happen like this, I know it would result in…MANY BUYS~!

ONE GOOD: The card is built on ‘dream’ encounters, which is fantastic. HHH vs. Joe is a helluva clash of styles, Edge/Christian are ready-made to draw fans in due to their history, and the ECW “battle of the ages” match is quite nice. Even the random tag match you threw in there makes sense if you use it to create two feuds (is Jarrett another ‘legend’ for Randy to kill?) in the future.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: What’s this “MANY BUYS” thing with the tilde and the exclamation point? Is that, like, one of the other writers’ catchphrases or something? Is it Larry’s? Why are you using it? Are you secretly Larry with a fake email account? I must insist that you provide me with evidence that you are not, in fact, Larry the guy who does the 411 stuff.

Opinion #4: David W. Crossan
“D-Generation Retaliation”

After months of fighting the Voodoo Kin Mafia make up and are “brothers” again. Over the next several weeks they start their antics up again talking about how they made DX and this and that. After about a month or so of this happening, on a live show, they are standing in the ring cutting a promo about DX and the WWE when all of a sudden from behind HHH & Shawn Michaels jump the railing and beat them with a sledgehammer and steel chair injuring them. The entire TNA locker rooms comes running out and chases them off. The next following Monday on Raw Michaels and HHH are in the ring laughing about how they went down to the “dump in the south” and shut the mouths of a couple of “washed up punks.” As they are cutting their Promo Samoa Joe and Sting jump the railing and retaliate for what happened on their show and are ran off by the WWE guys. The following Impact airs and Jim Cornette is in the ring with Joe and Sting, and he proceeds to ask them why they stooped to the level of the WWE and interfered in the show. Joe says “it’s simple Jimmy, they came down here and stuck their nose in our business, they think we are some second rate show then I offer a challenge for them to prove it. Let’s do a joint Pay-Per-view and see who the real top roster is. I know that won’t happen because Vince McMahon is scared of us, that’s right he is scared.” Sting then says “I only have one thing to add to that, HHH, Michaels and anyone else who thinks they are better then me. Man UP and fight us cause it’s Showtime Woo!” Vince is so upset at everything that is going on and since no one calls him chicken he decides to except their challenge and will have Dixie Carter on Raw next week to work out the details. Dixie comes to Raw the following week and her and McMahon work out a contract. they will hold a four hour special pay-per-view in December replacing the WWE and TNA pay-per-views for the month. Both companies will pick 8 singles wrestlers from their companies and battle one on one. Also there will be a tag team match between each brand to make it a best out of nine series. Over the next couple of weeks both rosters keep showing up on all the shows and the matches all get signed official.

The Matches end up like this.
Match 1: X-champion Curry Man vs. IC Champion Chris Jericho.
Match # 2: WWE Champ Beth Phoenix vs. TNA Champ Awesome Kong
Match #3: Batista vs. Tomko
Match #4: Londrick vs. MCMG
Match #5: Punk vs. Angle
Match # 6: Edge vs. Christian
Match #7: Orton vs. A.J. Styles
Match # 8: HHH vs. Joe
Match # 9: Sting vs. Michaels

(behind the scene)
Vince remembers business was best when he had some competition and decided to help out TNA get some exposure on the condition that WWE wins 5-4 at the end of the pay-per-view. Dixie accepts the loss for exposure and the matches on the pay-per-view are wrestled without any limits. The two Rosters are allowed to go full steam ahead with no limitations on the move sets. I know this will never happen but these are matches that would be great to see and both companies benefit. This could be the highest grossing pay-per-view- ever if done right. Plus both companies splitting the production cost and all they could make a killing. Oh yeah, Vince also keeps Russo out of the booking. And if you had to choose a 5-4 final which matches would TNA win. I mean they have to lose the last match to make sure all matches take place so what about the other 8.

ONE GOOD: Everybody loves the Sting vs. Michaels match, don’t they? I, for one, am completely sold on taking those guys in another direction. You’ll see later. What results would I pick, if I had to make it 5-4 at the end? I’d go with Y2J, Kong, Batista, MCMG, Angle, Edge, Styles (in your upset ‘o the night), HHH, and Michaels.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: You used the Voodoo Kin Mafia to start the whole thing. Mind you, I’m a huge DX fan, but… even I hate those guys.

Opinion #5: Michael Ornelas
“The Game Plays TNA”

At the Vengeance, Night of Champions PPV, Vince McMahon screws HHH when Cena has in in the STFU in the main event for the WWE title in a very similar fashion that he screwed Bret Hart, because as SOON as the hold is even attempted, the bell rings. The next day, WWE.com states that HHH has been let go, and they wish him luck with his future endeavors. At the start of Raw, Vince McMahon struts out and reveals that his daughter and HHH really are married, but that Triple H (who he calls by his real name, Paul, throughout the whole segment) was caught having an affair with an old girlfriend of his (and for the sake of everyone reading, we’ll just say it’s not Chyna) and for disrespecting and embarrassing his daughter like that, he was screwed and fired. McMahon then welcomes his new champion, John Cena to the ring (finally playing more of a heel) who says “while I may not agree with everything you do, I’m a strong supporter of loyalty and chivalry, and because of what that despicable man did to your daughter, I wanted to do the right thing and help you drive HHH out of the WWE.” Triple H’s music then plays on the Titantron, and while the whole crowd goes wild, they eventually realize that it’s a ruse by Vince and boo him and the new champ mercilessly.

HHH doesn’t have a no-compete clause due to the nature of his release and actually appears at Slammiversary the following Sunday, going by Hunter H. Helmsley. He shows up after the main event to a massive ovation and signs his TNA contract in front of everyone and puts on a TNA shirt. The entire TNA roster comes out to welcome him except for Sting, A.J. Styles, and still TNA World Champion, Samoa Joe. HHH and Kevin Nash embrace, and even Kurt Angle welcomes HHH, stating that he knows how hard marriage is from experience. The next week on Impact, Joe opens the show, in the ring with Sting and A.J., challenging Angle, Nash, and HHH to a match against the three of them at Victory Road. Joe says while his situation was unfortunate, he screwed himself over by breaking his marriage vows and cheating on his wife, “even if she is a spoiled bitch”. HHH comes out with Nash, shaking hands with everyone and accepting the match only to be leveled by Joe with the TNA title. Nash then gets taken out by Styles and Sting and out runs Kurt Angle with a chair but the three escape before any shots connect.

HHH, Nash, and Angle get the win at the PPV, but it was via disqualification. This leads to HHH vs. Samoa Joe at Hard Justice for the TNA Championship with special guest referee, Kurt Angle, which was determined when Kurt beat A.J. in a one-on-one match on the previous Impact for that position as ref. The match is very back and forth, with no real domination because as soon as someone gets momentum, the other completely stops it. The end comes when Triple H has Samoa Joe in for a Pedigree, but Joe reverses it into a Muscle Busta (he lifts up from the Pedigree, has him set like an Alabama Slam, runs to the corner, sets him up and hits the move in the middle of the ring). Angle is distracted by Sting and Styles on the outside and Joe gets up and gets in Angle’s face. He turns around straight into a Pedigree and HHH wins the title. Joe is pissed at Sting and Styles and leaves wrestling indefinitely.

On the next Impact, HHH says he’s going to shock the world with his title reign. After a lot of speculation of what he meant by that, HHH shows up the following Sunday at Summerslam with the TNA title along with Kurt, Nash, the Dudley Boyz, Booker T, and Christian Cage. They come out during the main event (Cena vs. Undertaker in a Buried Alive match for the WWE Championship) (Edge won the World Heavyweight title at One Night Stand in an Extreme Rules match) and help John Cena bury the Undertaker. The show ends with the Dudley Boyz, Christian, HHH, Booker T, Nash, Angle, Cena, and Vince McMahon all celebrating in the ring. The next night on RAW, the same guys start the show, admitting that from the start, they all were planted in TNA by Vince so that they could defect when the time was right and kill TNA before it ever saw the glory that it may have seen some day. The next week TNA realizes that none of those guys are going to show up to work again and fire them. Impact is really weak over the next few months, but they start developing the home-grown talent, not to mention Jeff Jarrett returning to the ring out of necessity.

By Unforgiven, WWE has phased TNA out (with the exception of HHH still carrying the belt around) and they are back to having WWE storylines. The PPV is headlined by Christian vs. Edge for the WHC and Cena, HHH, and Nash vs. Jeff Hardy, Y2J, and HBK, but every match on the card sees interference by Styles, Sting, Rhino, Scott Steiner (the only two who remained loyal to TNA), Lethal, Curry Man, or the MCMGs. This eventually leads to Samoa Joe’s return, at No Mercy, where he costs John Cena the WWE Championship to Jeff Hardy. On Impact, Samoa Joe calls out Triple H who actually appears via satellite, and he wants to invoke his rematch clause at the Survivor Series. After some hesitation, he agrees, and Survivor Series is set up as follows:

Samoa Joe vs. HHH (TNA Championship)
Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk (Ladder match for the WWE Championship, MitB cashed in)
Christian, Booker T, John Cena, Nash, & Angle vs. A.J., Sting, Steiner, Christopher Daniels (no longer Curry Man), & Jay Lethal
Batista vs. Edge vs. Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker (returning that night) (World Heavyweight Championship)
Y2J & HBK vs. JBL & Umaga
MCMGs vs. Dudley Boyz
Rhino vs. Kane (ECW Championship).

The SS match, the MCMG/Dudleyz match, and the Rhino/Kane bout are for ownership of the individuals who defected to WWE’s contracts. Sting’s team wins back Christian, Booker, Nash, and Angle for TNA. The MCMGs lose to the Dudleyz, so they stay in the WWE and go to ECW. Rhino wins the ECW Championship and actually decides to have WWE buy out his TNA contract and he stays in ECW. Samoa Joe wins back the TNA Championship cleanly and brings it back to TNA.

In the end, the companies can stay independent from one another, the only people who actually end up jumping ship are Rhino and the Dudleyz, but they’re not doing anything in TNA and could really help the new ECW. TNA gets massive exposure to the wrestling world. Joe gets a huge win, mostly everyone’s back in TNA, AND the WWE can have other storylines going on so it’s just one angle that doesn’t dominate every hour of WWE programming like the Invasion did.

ONE GOOD: Heel John Cena. Aside from the fact that you turn him in a similar way to the Rock’s turn at SS ’98, I’ve wanted this for a long time. Plus you manage to fit in a nice Cena vs. ‘Taker feud as well. At this point, Cena would almost have to be the heel for that feud to work because ‘Taker is so well respected and it’s so cool to hate Cena.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: You copied opinion #1 with the “planting superstars in TNA” and the “McMahon planned it all along” crap. Why would you think you could just steal his idea like that? Absolutely atrocious! Hey… stop crying. I was only kidding. I know you didn’t know he wrote that idea when you wrote your idea. I’m not that stupid. It’s all good!

Opinion #6: CyberVenom
“It’s All Fun and War Games Until Somebody Gets Hurt”

This is an idea by myself and my buddy BigStevieCool.
The original plan was to write every RAW, ECW, Impact,
SmackDown!, and PPV up till Survivor Series. Although
we still plan on writing the whole thing out, though,
I’ll give you the basics.

The beginning happens at the last WWE PPV, Backlash.
Randy Orton wins his match, along with MVP retaining
his US title. Chavito cheats to win the ECW title
back. Then comes the main event: Undertaker vs. Edge.

The match is pretty basic. That is, until two masked
me, dressed head to toe in black enter the ring. One
hits Edge with a Muscle Buster, the other on Taker
with an Angle Slam. The two leave as Taker barely gets
his arm over Edge. The refs stand confused as what to
do, and make the three count. The Pay Per View ends in
confusion.

The WWE stands paranoid on RAW and ECW, as Vince
announces an investigation. TNA makes no mention of
anything. Smackdown opens with Vince claiming to have
read internet fans’ opinions and demands that TNA
responds to the charges brought onto them. TNA’s
answer is: We’ll answer you at Sacrifice.

At Sacrifice, Samoa Joe retains his title against
Scott Stiener and Kurt Angle and grabs the mic, making
the attack official: TNA are better wrestlers than any
federation in any country, and now’s the time to prove
it.

The first half of the feud would have TNA and WWE
wrestling on each shows as friendly rivalries, where
wrestlers could show on both shows. Halfway through,
Vince announces that he has owned part of TNA all
along, which begins to seperate the two. The PPV’s are
in this order:

1. Backlash (April 27)
2. Sacrifice (May 11)
3. Judgement Day (May 18)
4. One Night Stand (June 1) (This would have the first
official WWE vs. TNA match; Undertaker injured by TNA
wrestlers)
5. Slammiversary (June 8) (The return of Ron Killings
for TNA and Bobby Lashley for WWE)
6. Night of Champions (June 29) (CM Punk cashes in the
Money in the Bank to face Samoa Joe; TNA and WWE
decide to merge PPV’s until Cyber Sunday)
7. Victory Road (July 20)
8. Summerslam (Aug. 10) (Undertaker returns)
9. Unforgiven (Sept. 7) (Lashley turns on WWE, joins
TNA. Killings turns on TNA, joins WWE)
10. Bound 4 Glory (Oct. 5) (Stone Cold Steve Austin
stuns Shark Boy)
11. Cyber Sunday: WWE vs. TNA (Oct. 26) (Fans vote the
main event to be CM Punk vs. Samoa Joe for the TNA
World Title)
12. Genesis (Nov. 9) (Ultimate X won by Jay Lethal for
the X Division Title. Other participants are Petey
Williams, Chris Sabin, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, Shelton
Benjamin, Carlito, and John Morrison)
13. Survivor Series (Nov. 23)
Matches include:
Randy Orton vs. Sting
Abyss vs. Kane
Christian vs. Edge
and the Main Event: War Games!

Raw Champion, John Cena
IC Champion, Umaga
Smackdown Champion, Undertaker
ECW Champion, CM Punk
TNA turncoat, Ron Killings

vs.

TNA Champion, Samoa Joe
TNA Tag Champions, Team 3D
X Division Chamion, Kurt Angle (More on that later)
WWE turncoat, Bobby Lashley

This is about the point we had written, except for
ideas for feuds and storylines, along with the Genesis
and Survivor Series PPVs. I present you, now, the
ideas, along with where they would ultimately lead,
based on wrestler:

1. MVP, as US Champ, would face the Undertaker on
Smackdown. Throughout the night, he would mention how
he’s not afraid of the Deadman, but he doesn’t feel
like the match will happen. Undertaker and MVP stand
face to face in the ring, when MVP grabs a mic and
vehemently refuses to wrestle. Vicki and Teddy come
out with a contract saying that MVP HAS to wrestle,
since he has the highest contract in the WWE. Just
then, Jim Cornette’s visage appears on the Titantron,
where he announces that TNA has bought out Porter’s
contract and that he’s now TNA’s MVP. The US Title is
therefore vacated.

2. About halfway through the story, it’s revealed that
Vince McMahon owns part of TNA, which irritates Kurt
Angle, who was trying to leave WWE by going to TNA.
Rightfully pissed, he and Vince have a Street Fight on
Raw. More on Kurt later.

3. Dustin Runnels is confused as what to do about Cody
Rhodes. On TNA shows and PPV’s, he’s Black Reign. On
WWE TV and PPV’s, he’s Goldust. Cody tries to talk
sense into Dustin. Sometimes they feud, sometimes they
team.

4. Booker T and William Regal feud over who was the
best King.

5. Team 3D win the TNA Tag Titles and return to ECW,
where Tommy Dreamer turns on them.

6. Team 3D would face the Hardyz in a Ladder match.
Afterward, the reunited Edge and Christian would come
out and say that there was another team involved in
their battles! Team 3D would then face the Hardyz and
Edge and Christian in a Ladder Match, where they would
win. This would cause Edge to turn on Christian and
start the feud that would last till Suvivor Series.

7. Smackdown’s number 1 announcer, Funaki would
interview another number 1: Curry Man!

8. Johnny Devine gets jealous of TNA’s purchase of
MVP’s contract and tries to do the same with
WWE….except WWE doesn’t want him.

9. LAX and Chavo team for awhile before Homicide and
Hernandez find even better kindred spirits: Cryme
Tyme!

10. Abyss will return and destroy WWE’s “Big Men” on
Impact, while Kane does the same with TNA’s “Big Men”
on ECW, leading to a clash at Survivor Series.

11. DX fully reunites as HBK, HHH, BJ James, and Kip
James reteam. Eventually, HHH and HBK find the James
gang to be over the hill and turn on them, leading to
a feud up to Survivor Series.

12. Jay Lethal wins the X Division Title at Genesis in
an Ultimate X Match. The next night, on Raw, Eric
Bischoff comes to the ring and says that he has the
perfect way to end the TNA/WWE war: War Games at
Survivor Series! On Impact, Cornette says that TNA
will go ahead and announce their first competitor for
the match! The man who won Ultimate X, Jay Lethal!
Tonight is a celebration for Jay, who seems to be
overwhelmed by the whole thing. Everytime he gets on
the mic, he seems occupied and tells everyone that he
doesn’t think he can do this. At Survivor Series,
before the Main Event, he walks up to Kurt Angle and
says “Look, we, as TNA, need this win. And the only
way that we have a chance is with you in that match.
I’m sure Jim Cornette and boys in the back will agree
with me when I do this. Kurt, I hand this title to
you.”

13. Randy Orton sees TNA as just a bunch of new
legends to kill. This brings out Sting. Orton says he
didn’t respect Sting when he was a kid, and he doesn’t
respect him for not knowing when to quit. This leads
to a match at Survivor Series.

14. Awesome Kong defeats Colin Delaney on ECW. She
also defeats Beth Phoenix at Survivor Series.

15. Charlie Haas loses a mask vs. mask match to Curry
Man.

16. Santino is the first WWE wrestler to step into a
TNA ring, where he declares a one man war on TNA. He
is then beaten in the ring.

17. Batista and Tomko feud. Briefly.

That’s it for storylines. Here’s some of the PPV
matches we wanted to see, but didn’t have a placement
for:
1. Angle vs. HBK
2. Angle/Joe vs. Taker/Edge
3. Jay Lethal vs. Ken Kennedy
4. Nash vs. Orton
5. Rave vs. Burke vs. Shelley vs. Miz
6. Rhino vs. JBL
7. Samoa Joe vs. John Cena
8. Samoa Joe vs. HHH
9. Elix Skipper vs. Shelton Benjamin
10. Sting vs. HBK
11. AJ Styles vs. HBK
12. AJ Styles vs. CM Punk
13. Petey Williams vs. HBK
14. Petey Williams vs. John Morrison

Overall, the feeling we want to have is that there
isn’t any “Good” or “Bad” Federation in this war. Of
course, WWE would “win” in the end, but TNA would come
off as a stronger federation.

ONE GOOD: There’s so much good stuff here, but maybe it’s because you literally wrote the book on this feud. I think my favorite thing standing out here is the possibility of another TLC match between the Dudleys, Hardyz, and E&C. The teams obviously won’t last, nor should they, but one more match would bring back good memories of when tag teams mattered.

ONE NOT-SO-GOOD: My least favorite thing, by far, is the War Games concept. Maybe I just don’t like the idea of two rings, I don’t know. I might catch a lot of negative comments for this but I just am not a fan of the gimmick. That’s all I have to say.

Whew! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who sent in their ideas these past two weeks. The first time that I tried to post this column, it was too long! TOO LONG! Incredible! I wouldn’t be able to fill up this space without you. Next week… a shorter column, one guy’s submission that have been sitting in my inbox for two weeks because it is so detailed my head was spinning, my thoughts on WWE vs. TNA, and a new question for everyone!

See you then! Until then, send your comments to [email protected]!