The Fink’s Payload 07.25.08: Create-Your-Own Summerslam

It’s summertime!

And just in time for the WWE’s annual Summerslam pay-per-view event we will be taking a closer look this week at some of the potential matchups based on YOUR reader submissions and ideas. What I did this week was broke down the most interesting matchups from the emails that I received and put them into categories (mostly based on championship contention). This way you, the faithful Payload reader, can decide for yourself what you think the best fantasy-booked card would look like from top to bottom. At the end of the column, I’ll tell you which matches I preferred from the ones that were submitted. Ready? Set? Go!

Undercard
#1. Victoria and Natalya Niedhart vs. Michelle McCool and Mickie James: How this match will come about is easy. Original match would be Victoria and Natalya vs. Michelle McCool and Cherry. Victoria and Natalya would injure Cherry either earlier in the night or on the previous edition of Smackdown. Michelle would have to find a replacement partner. She would pick Mickie – by lwcmvp.

#2. Intercontinental Championship and Women’s Championship Intergender Tag-Team Match: Kofi Kingston and Mickie James vs. The Burchills: Okay, we’ve seen this match already, but I feel given the time and with BOTH titles on the line, this match could actually garner some heat unlike their RAW outing. Picking a winner is up in the air, but I’d go with the Burchills to give them some credibility, as well as extend both their feuds. In no way would this be a show stealer, but it would be worth watching, just for the novelty of having two belts on the line – by Wesley Babbit and others.

#3. Women’s Championship: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea Burchill: How to get there – Katie beats Mickie in another non-title match with the stip. that if she wins she gets a title match at Summerslam – by Brett Sullivan.

#4. Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill – by Brett Sullivan.

United States Championship
#5. Shelton Benjamin vs. Big Show: Big Show is awesome and needs little in the way of story to push him into a match; he’s big, and he wants to beat smaller people up. Shelton could use a huge win (literally and figuratively), and since Big Show isn’t doing much, he makes just as good a choice as any (especially since he loses nothing by doing the job, unlike other possible choice Ken Kennedy). As for the lead-up, I’d have Shelton personally selecting his US Title challengers, facing off with the likes of Funaki and Nunzio in squashes, thus retaining his title whilst proclaiming his greatness. Have Big Show make a stand, Shelton back off, and claim Big Show has to earn his shot. Let Show squash the jobbers in a handicap match and BAM, we got a decent enough start to what could be a good feud – by Wesley Babbitt.

#6. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy: To open the show we should see a match that will set the tone for the night. My original idea would have been Miz and Morrison vs. The Hardys for the tag titles, but considering the events of the Great American Bash that match is out the window – by lwcmvp.

#7. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mr. Kennedy: How to get there – Shelton issues an open challenge, Kennedy answers – by Brett Sullivan.

#8. Ladder Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga: Designed as a potential match of the night, I give you four men that can really compete at a high level in this kind of match. The mutual respect/competitive tension between Matt and Jeff along with Jeff’s history with Umaga and Shelton makes for an interesting back story without need for a whole lot of booking to go into this. It can be put in place through a series of qualifying matches, possibly including the Kennedy/MVP feud where they cost each other chances to get into this match. Winner: Shelton. Ha, gotcha, didn’t I? Yes, the Gold Standard gets his first real title reign in a long time and by doing it in a gimmick match that fits his skills, it is both reasonable and potentially spectacular. If Shelton puts on a starring performance, he could realistically make this feel legit. Meanwhile, he can feud with Jeff Hardy over the belt on Smackdown while Umaga treads water until the Undertaker returns. Then Matt Hardy moves over to ECW to launch into a feud with Mark Henry, leading to a title victory and then further a singles feud with John Morrison for the ECW Title – by Kevin McLaughlin.

#9. Ladder Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito – by Billy Broderson.

RAW
#10. Batista vs. Kane: Okay, these two don’t like one another. Kane has been messing with Batista pretty badly, and as long as they keep it up, this match builds itself. The big question is what is in Kane’s bag; if it is his mask, the dude is going to get a HUGE pop. So, what to do? Push Kane as the heel, Big Dave the face, have the match as so. Keep it back and forth, until Batista gets frustrated and starts throwing some heel attitude in. Have Kane get a sudden high impact move and… PULL OUT THE MASK! See, even if this match isn’t great, the mask is huge fan service, and allows the E to pull a swerve; Kane goes face, Batista goes heel. Give Kane the win to push him whilst selling Batista’s frustrations so they move him towards being a major villain. Cause frankly, I don’t think fans will ever hate on Kane – by Wesley Babbitt.

#11. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio: It’s revealed that the bag Kane is carrying around is his old mask. The old, vicious Kane returns after dropping a few more matches. He is reborn and takes out his frustrations on little Rey Rey. A classic big man/little man showdown would look good. Winner: Kane, he doesn’t get pushed toward a title feud right away but in time he could get there. Kane doesn’t need the belt, as long as he’s wrecking shit – by Kevin McLaughlin.

#12. Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston: I really am not all interested in the Paul Burchill/Kofi Kingston feud. However, I think this would be a great match and one that would really grab my attention because of all the highflying that would be involved here. I think that Kofi would go over in this match but it will be a fun match that would be an awesome start to the show – by Billy Broderson.

#13. Last Man Standing or I Quit: JBL vs. John Cena: This is a unique matchup considering they have already had multiple gimmick matches in this feud. Either way, during a feud where there is an attempted murder there are not many places you can go. This would be the blow off of the feud that would see Cena go over and JBL returning to Smackdown – by lwcmvp and others.

#14. John Cena vs. Chris Jericho: Cena wants revenge on JBL but Regal won’t allow it due to JBL beating Cena cleanly (for a street fight) at GAB. Jericho begins mercilessly taunting Cena, setting up the feud. Cena wins by DQ after Cade attacks him. Paul London runs in for the save – by Stephen Straka.

#15. I Quit Match or Street Fight: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels: No need to rehash what’s happening here. We all know where it’s going. You can’t go Hell in the Cell here because those are reserved for title matches, same goes for Iron Man matches. This match needs a gimmick leaving us with Last Man Standing or I Quit. Orton and HHH just fought a Last Man Standing match, so here we get the I Quit, and with these two and their amazing ability to tell a story in the ring, it will work. Winner: Jericho. But there’s a twist. With Cade at ringside, Jericho and his crony wreck Michaels. The ref sends Cade to the back to a big crowd pop. Paul London comes down appearing ready to rescue HBK but in turn drills his former mentor. He gets sent to the back. Michaels keeps fighting back but finally after a half dozen or more chair shots to the head, Michaels collapses a la his dismantling at the hands of Batista at One Night Stand. The ref goes down to see if he will say “I Quit.” Michaels is unresponsive and they call it a no contest. Jericho looks like a mastermind and a beast. Michaels doesn’t give up. THE FEUD MUST CONTINUE! – by Kevin McLaughlin and others.

I just had to include this match as a bonus because it is so damn cool.

#15a. Blindfold Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho: This one would be the tough one. The natural progression of this feud leads to a Blindfold match. Jericho has blinded Shawn. That was the lead in for the James Storm/Chris Harris blindfold cage match and the Rick Martel/Jake Roberts blindfold match. However, this is Summerslam and has a history of good matches. (Hart/Bulldog, Hart/Hart, Hart/Perfect, Guerrero/Mysterio, Angle/Mysterio, etc.) and blindfold matches generally suck. However, if any two superstars can put on a good match, it is HBK and Jericho. The finish could go two different ways. Jericho lifts the blindfold and hits the codebreaker, winning the match or HBK lifts the blindfold and hits the sweet chin music, which would further Jericho’s complaints that HBK is a liar and a cheater – by lwcmvp.

SD!
#16. Big Show vs. Umaga: I believe this feud will start with Umaga coming out and demolishing all the talent that he has been doing forever it seems like. Big Show will challenge him to take on someone his own size. I see Umaga going over in this match, really cementing his place as a main eventer of Smackdown – by Billy Broderson.

#17. Mr. Kennedy vs. MVP: A week or so ago I was watching SummerSlam 2002 and the opener was an up-and-coming Kurt Angle against Rey Mysterio. Two future top champs in the first match of the night. That’s the way I see this one. These two play off each other very well, both are very talented and can really tell a story in the ring. MVP holds a special interview segment where he says he doesn’t need a guest because he’s the only one the fans want to see. Kennedy interrupts, tells him that the fans want MISTAAA KENNEDY! Brawl ensues and we get a good ole fashioned grudge match between two egos. Winner: Kennedy, he needs the win more at this point having not had an actual feud in a much longer time than MVP. The feud can continue with MVP gaining more of an edge after losing and becoming disgruntled. A more intense MVP followed by videos of him training to get back into peak condition would be fantastic for his character – by Kevin McLaughlin and others.

#18. Edge vs. The Undertaker: How to get there – Vickie promises Edge that because he humiliated her on her wedding day, she will cause Edge a lot of pain. Later, ‘Taker’s gong plays to distract Edge and cost him a title shot at Summerslam. The next couple of shows, ‘Taker’s return is teased (including at the next SNME). The following SD, ‘Taker officially returns and is booked in a match with Edge – by Brett Sullivan.

ECW
#19. Six-Man Tag-Team Extreme Rules Match: Mark Henry, Colin Delaney, & Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, & RVD: Henry vs. Dreamer was garbage at GAB, and so will any other match they have. However, Extreme Rules covers for their shortcomings. Still, to give this match some real flair (WOOOOO!) have Henry and crew gang up on our boy Dreamer next ECW. An angered Tommy should issue a challenge, himself and a team of his choosing going toe to toe with Henry’s Crew. Make the big fuss over who his mystery partners will be during ECW and at the PPV. Then, out of nowhere RVD and Sabu appear as his back-up (one night only type deal, most likely). Huge pop, we get a great violence ridden match, and Delaney can eat the pin by Dreamer to help Henry save face. The entire concept is supplying fan service, and this should satisfy both WWECW fans and Original ECW fans alike – by Wesley Babbitt.

#20. ECW Championship: Extreme Rules: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer: I was also considering Mark Henry and Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney but I believe the Extreme Rules would be better. Mark Henry would win – by lwcmvp.

#21. ECW Championship Open Challenge: Mark Henry w/ Tony Atlas vs. Unknown: Similar to the TNA storyline with Awesome Kong, Mark Henry can run roughshod over the fresh-faced, unproven roster of ECW. He lays people out for several weeks, maybe injures Tommy Dreamer. Atlas announces that it can’t be the biggest party of the summer without the World’s Strongest Champion so he puts out an open challenge. If the challenger wins, he gets a title shot on the next ECW show. A week or so prior to SummerSlam, Henry runs into Hornswoggle to which he promptly tosses the midget against the wall and dumps him in a trash can. Finlay comes out and challenges Mark Henry. Winner: Finlay, with help from a returning Hornswoggle, he gets the title shot. In the defense that week, Henry defeats Finlay clean to stay strong and keep his belt. I’ll get to the next feud in a bit – by Kevin McLaughlin.

#22. ECW Championship: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy: How to get there – Matt wins the fatal 4 way (as announced for the July 22nd show) – by Brett Sullivan.

WWE Tag Team Championship
#23. Hawkins and Ryder vs. Miz and Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus vs. The Hardyz: Those Edge Guys have a lot to prove as champions, though I think their win was more story driven than any sort of actual push. Anyways, a reunion of the Hardy Boys is money, no matter how many times they might pull it, and having them as a part of this match would help give the big match rub it so needs. So far, the main story seems focused on Hawkins and Ryder’s feud with Biscuits and Gravy, so they seem a natural pair for a tag match. Miz and Morrison seeking their title back is also an obvious storyline, and since heel vs. heel rarely works, a three way dance is needed. The Hardyz could be added in with little explanation beyond Those Edge Guys attacking them in Matt and Jeff’s one on one match last SD! Therefore, we have three teams out looking for revenge on Edge Jr. and, uh, other Edge Jr. A spot fest by nature, this match should get the crowd going. I’d go ahead and give Jesse & Festus the win; they’ll be capable of feuding with The Rated Rmy and M&M2 for a while afterwards, whilst the WWE gets around to producing a stronger and more robust tag-team division – by Wesley Babbitt.

#24. Ten-Man Battle Royal: Ryder and Hawkins, Miz and Morrison, Hornswoggle and Finlay, Jesse and Festus, and Bam Neely and Chavo: This match takes place after there is so much dilemma for the title holders. It is decided by Vickie Guerrero that there will be a 10 Man battle royal and the only way a team is eliminated is when both partners are thrown over the top rope. The last two teams remaining will then have a match right then to decide the champion. I could see Ryder and Hawkins going over here because they seem to be getting a pretty big push on TV and in the ring – by Billy Broderson.

World Tag Team Championship
#25. DiBiase/Rhodes vs. Cryme Tyme: The Priceless tag team and Cryme Tyme could develop into a very, very good rivalry in the short term at least. A gritty thug team from the streets that couldn’t be more over with the crowd against a new, young, pompous blue blood team, possibly managed by a returning William Regal, could be great. Cryme Tyme messing with DiBiase/Rhodes (who need a name badly) by stealing their sharp clothes, coming out to the ring in their suits. Seeing Shad come down, busting out of the seams in Cody’s pin stripes would be great — by Kevin McLaughlin and everybody else.

WWE Championship
#26. Triple H vs. Umaga: Vickie’s new powerhouse Umaga gets the title shot after he attacks Edge on Smackdown. Triple H wins after an Edge and Kennedy interference. It will lead to a Triple H, Kennedy and Edge vs. Umaga, MVP and JBL match at Unforgiven – by lwcmvp.

#27. Hell in a Cell: Triple H vs. Edge: I think that this match would be a fitting end to this feud and would keep La Familia and the EdgeHeads from being involved which is why their Great American Bash match ended the way it did. Also, Triple H would win this match and as they are raising the cage the lights go out, and standing in the ring with Trips is none other than the Undertaker, who is motioning to his waist for the title – by Billy Broderson and others.

#28. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy: How to get there – 15 man Battle Royal on Smackdown to determine the new #1 contender, final 5 are Edge, Big Show, Jeff Hardy, Umaga and MVP, MVP and Umaga have worked together up to this point All 4 combine to get rid of Big Show, MVP & Umaga double team Hardy as they go to elimninate him Edge sneaks up from behind and tosses them out, but Jeff “skins the cat” and reamins in the match, about 5 mins of Jeff/Edge one on one with close eliminations for both. The gong sounds, Edge gets distracted allowing Jeff to eliminate him. Match is built around the fact that Jeff holds 3 singles career wins against HHH, including their last 2 match-ups (Armageddon and RAW before NOC) – by Brett Sullivan.

#29. Triple H vs. Edge vs. Undertaker: Natural choice. Really, it’s all in place already; Edge wants the strap, Vickie wants Edge’s balls, Taker is the man to do it. Nothing more, nothing less. Let Triple H retain by having the others screw each other over, leading to Taker and Edge’ final big blow off at the next PPV in some huge gimmick match (probably Hell in a Cell) – by Wesley Babbit.

World Championship
#30. CM Punk vs. Batista: Batista gets the win at The Bash after a valiant effort by C.M. Punk. Punk fights the standard little man match, trying to overcome the odds and battle the roided Animal. In the end, Batista snags Punk, hits the bomb and pins him clean. Punk states that he wants his rematch at SummerSlam. We get build of Punk continuing to play the underdog character, talking about how he’s straight edge and how he’s just one of the people. A lot of the garbage we hear from Mysterio every time he opens his mouth. Winner: C.M. Punk along with an awesome heel turn. Punk decides that he’s had enough of this crap. With the ref’s back turned, Punk nails a low blow. A ref bump later, Punk gets a chair and crushes Batista. He gets the pin in pure heelish fashion. We get some allusions in ensuing promos to Batista and other top stars being on roids and how Punk doesn’t need that stuff to win. He takes each of the points he made during his face promos i.e. being straight edge and clean, being one of the people, working his way up the ranks, etc, and turns them against the people. We get the best of Punk with a great heel “I’m better than you,” persona – by Kevin McLaughlin.

#31. CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Batista vs. JBL vs. John Cena: This 5-way title match is made because all these men seem to believe that have some stake to the title. This match is a back and forth slugfest with all competitors getting their finishing moves in. I have Batista pinning JBL to win the Heavyweight Championship and as he is celebrating he turns around… and is greeted by an RKO! Randy Orton just looks over him and you can read his lips saying “keep the title warm for me” – by Billy Broderson.

#32. CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. JBL vs. Batista: How to get there – much like this week on RAW, build is Punk defending his title against one of the 4 on RAW with the other 2 running in and causing a DQ, eventually Regal is brought back to get things under control and books a fatal 4 way for the title at Summerslam – by Brett Sullivan.

#33. CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Batista: Kane interfered at the Bash and it led to a double DQ. Natural progression leads to this match. No matter who wins (Punk or Batista), Kane takes the fall and snaps after the match attacking a plant (a fan, not an actual plant, he’s not Rhino) – by lwcmvp and others.

#34. CM Punk vs. John Cena (Special Guest Referee JBL): Okay, here was the tough one. Punk needs a clean win. Now, I know the WWE would never, ever let him pin Cena, at least not yet. The solution? Let him win, even if it isn’t entirely clean; any pin on Cena is a HUGE push. JBL as referee (a decision he could make for himself after losing a #1 Contender match on RAW against Cena and the gang) would make this possible. Let the men go crazy, have Simply Priceless try to wreck Cena, have Cryme Tyme make the save, have Bradshaw go for a Clothesline from Hell, end up in a GTS. With the ref out, have Cena go for the STFU, have Punk counter with an Anaconda Vice, and…. CENA TAPS! Baw Gawd! Of course, with JBL out, there is no ref to give Punk the win, so the match continues whilst John gets to his feet. More back and forth action, an FU attempt here or there with Punk countering, until JBL finally interferes and Big Boots the Dr. of Thuganomics whilst attempting one last FU. Cena goes down; Punk lifts him, GTS, and the win. Punk gets a pin on Cena, but still not clean. HOWEVER, he still made Cena tap, and that is enough for him to go on to make him look good while extending their rivalry; Cena feels cheated, Punk feels he shouldn’t since he tapped – by Wesley Babbit.

Gosh, that was fun. Now its time to figure out which matches would fit onto the card to make the best use of the WWE’s resources and create a fun, memorable show. Think it would be cool to load the card with multi-man matches and try to fit the entire roster on the show? It just might be possible with these matches to choose from. I decided to take a different route. Take a look at my card in the order that I think the matches would appear:

#25. DiBiase/Rhodes vs. Cryme Tyme
#9. Ladder Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito
#16. Big Show vs. Umaga
#19. Six-Man Tag-Team Extreme Rules Match: Mark Henry, Colin Delaney, & Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, & RVD
#17. Mr. Kennedy vs. MVP
#10. Batista vs. Kane
#15a. Blindfold Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
#34. CM Punk vs. John Cena (Special Guest Referee JBL)
#27. Hell in a Cell: Triple H vs. Edge

Nine matches, not too much for Summerslam but maybe a little bit stacked for a regular pay-per-view. What can I say? If you’re gonna dream, dream big. What do y’all think? I included the numbers so you could post your thoughts in the comments section the same way that you order chinese food at the little restaurant on the corner. That’s right, I’ve seen you at the Number One Food China Eat. You do love your sweet and sour pork, don’t you?

That’s all for this week…

…But just because its summer doesn’t mean you don’t still have homework!

Next week’s homework due Tuesday, July 29th at 11 PM
Triple H currently holds the WWE Championship and is enjoying his twelfth world title reign. Everybody knows that Ric Flair lays claim to an amazing sixteen recognized world championship reigns in his career. To some this seems like a mark that will never be surpasssed, but what if it did? Let’s assume that, at some point in the future, Triple H eventually participates in a match to win his sixteenth world championship… and he wins. How do you think the crowd will react? Will the Flair be present for Triple H’s “moment” like Hank Aaron’s family was for Barry Bonds? I want to know what you think — how will it happen, when will it happen, who will he take title from?

Send your ideas to [email protected]! Don’t forget to create-your-own Summerslam in the comments section below… I want to know what you think!