The Furious Flashbacks – SMW Volunteer Slam 1992

The Furious Flashbacks – SMW Volunteer Slam

It’s finally here! SMW’s first major show and its first major disappointment.

This is the show that Jim Cornette spends MONTHS hyping relentlessly. Every week on SMW’s TV show it seemed there were dozens of references to this show. They really did the hard sell, WWE style, in order to bring in the fans for this first major SMW show.

May 22nd 1992.

We’re in the Knoxville Civic Coliseum in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hosts are Les Thatcher & Phil Raney. No idea why they dumped Caudle & Mantell for the big show. Dutch Mantell is backstage doing interviews. And so is Mark Astin who’ll be interviewing babyfaces.

1st Round match – Dixie Dynomite v Dirty White Boy w/Ron Wright

DYN-O-MIIIIIITE! For those who don’t get the reference Dirty White Boy is a song by the band Foreigner. He even comes out to it, which makes him seem like a big shot because he has a professional sounding entrance. Slick trick from Jim Cornette there. The start of this match is so boring it’s CLIPPED. That’s new. Dixie brings the babyface basics and we clip again. Wow, this must have been dull. Dixie mainly works at a headlock. DWB comes back with a sloppy clothesline. He positions the ref so he can punch Dixie in the throat. This has so far not been an ideal opening 10 minutes of a big show. You’d think Dixie would be hitting more high flying stuff to get the crowd all riled up. Instead it’s DWB who up’s the pace with a swinging neckbreaker. DWB rather stupidly tries to pull the mask off, which gets him nowhere. Thatcher calls DWB “Tony”, which would be his real name. Nothing like hiring professionals eh? DWB with another lousy clothesline. He was always a little rough around the edges but clotheslines are not hard. The crowd has been taken out of this one by DWB’s rather methodical offence. Its not had any focus either, which makes it doubly dull. Dixie comes back with more babyface basics and a superkick. DWB falls under the bottom rope to save the pin. Dixie misses a follow up dropkick and you sense the end is nigh. Bucksnort Blaster finishes immediately. *1/2. Rather plodding opener that didn’t push the buttons you’d hope for and doesn’t exactly set the night off in the right manner.

BACKSTAGE Mantell has Buddy Landell for an interview. Landell seems less high than usual, which could well be a bonus.

1st Round match – Brian Lee v Buddy Landell

More clipping as we start this one. I’ve never seen so much long blonde hair in a match involving two men. There are peroxide companies that are kept in business by these men. Landell gets the fans into this one by nefarious cheating. His chops aren’t really in Flair’s league but his eye raking is terrific. Landell tries to pay homage to Flair with bumping but he’s really nowhere near as good. If Flair was wrestling Lee he’d be selling all over the place and taking huge back bumps. Lee has to break out his patented stuff like a powerslam to bump Landell for him. Bombs Away misses and that sets up the Figure Four only for Lee to catch Landell in a roll up for the win. That was really short in clipped form. I sense Landell displeased someone in Smoky. Perhaps everyone. After all he had some issues with drugs and booze that got him shitcanned everywhere else he went.

BACKSTAGE Tim Horner gets interviewed. Get a shorter interviewer. This guy towers over the talent. Horner says he’ll do his best and hopes he can get by Paul Orndorff. Never. Not a chance.

1st Round – Tim Horner v Paul Orndorff

Orndorff is probably the favourite for this thing. Horner is the plucky underdog. Orndorff does the WWF technical standing counters that Hogan loved so much but Horner has counters for that shit, which is awesome. As if to say that “same shit, different day” predictable routine isn’t going to get the job done. Horner elbows Orndorff out of the ring and the ref stops Horner from diving. BOOO! Some old-timer shouts abuse at Orndorff. IT’S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMN IT! I love the audience SMW drew. They do some near misses and Horner hits a crossbody for 2. We clip ahead to Orndorff laying the boots in. He then boots him out of the ring and won’t let him back in. When he realises Horner won’t get counted out he drags Horner back in and jabs him in the neck. Orndorff specifically works the neck, which suggests he’s setting for the piledriver but that’s illegal so he can’t use it. Horner rallies but gets cut back down. Too early for a comeback, Timmy. Orndorff argues a near fall and nearly gets rolled up for the loss. Of course besides these little minor things Orndorff is totally in control and outclassing Horner in every department. He’s stronger, he’s more experienced and he dominates the ring. All Horner has is a little crowd support and lot of hope. We’re 15 minutes into the match here and the limit is 20 minutes. Bad news for Orndorff using up so much energy against a lesser opponent and even worse news if he can’t put him away soon. Sensing a sudden desperation in Orndorff’s approach Horner is able to get an opening. He catches Paul with a knee and a suplex gets 2. 3 minutes left. Horner gets overly ambitious and runs into a back elbow. Orndorff beats him up but Horner catches him twice in roll up’s. Almost an upset. Horner with a sleeper and there are 2 minutes left. Orndorff gets the ropes but he’s really tired after the sleeper and buys time by throwing Horner outside. 1 minute left. Desperation time. Orndorff throws Horner back in and despite him being in the ropes Orndorff gets the pin. And Horner CAN’T kick out because his leg is tied in the rope. ***. Never quite hit the higher gear but certainly the best of the opening round.

1st Round – Jimmy Golden v Robert Gibson

Thatcher points out how both guys are more experienced and successful in tag teams. Raney claims that Golden has looked the same since 1974. Gibson has a little more fire but that allows Golden an opening and he clips the knee. This becomes the storyline for the match as Gibson can’t get anywhere because he can’t stand and Golden works the body part. The ring post comes into play but Gibson’s selling is a little inconsistent in its intensity. Golden gets a half crab and uses the ropes for leverage. We clip ahead with Golden using the ring post again until Gibson kicks him in the head with his good leg. Gibson hobbles around ringside to sell how bad his knee is. Golden grabs the leg again but Gibson clips him with the Enzuigiri. Gibson hits a bulldog out of nowhere on the next exchange for the win. Well that was brief. Like Lee-Landell this was too clipped to rate.

Here’s the semi-final line up;

Dirty White Boy v Brian Lee
Paul Orndorff v Robert Gibson

Lee had the easiest first round match and now faces a guy he’s in a feud with, coincidentally. While Orndorff had the longest match Gibson is carrying a bad wheel into round two.

SF – Brian Lee v Dirty White Boy w/Ron Wright

Lee starts fast and beats on DWB like he owes him money. WHERE’S MAH MONEY, BITCH? WHERE’S MAH FUCKIN’ MONEY? Lee makes the mistake of going after Ron Wright. But he’s just a poor old crippled man in a wheelchair! DWB is able to jump Lee because of the babyface dumbness. DWB bites the forehead until Lee is opened up. Or rather he gets in the way so the crowd can’t see Lee blading, which is quite a handy trick. DWB then spends about 3 minutes punching the forehead to try and draw more blood. It’s bloody certainly but not crimson mask territory. DWB with a powerslam and more abuse for the forehead. Lee is selling blood loss with wild swings. Ron Wright wants this match called but surely DWB should just be going for more pins. Crowd starts getting behind Lee who’s drawing sympathy for the beating and bleeding. Lee suddenly starts no selling and we get a WWE-style slugfest. Both guys went there eventually. One as a plumber, one as a fake then a biker. DWB eventually wins out because of Lee’s bleeding but he misses a diving headbutt off the middle rope and knocks himself out. Lee hooks a leg and gets the win to advance to the finals. **. Nice blood, not much else.

POST MATCH DWB works Lee over with a chair.

BACKSTAGE DWB calls the last match the biggest fluke to ever hit this planet. He says Lee could never beat him again. He says he’ll make sure that Lee doesn’t win the title tonight.

SF – Paul Orndorff v Robert Gibson

We clip right away to see Orndorff going after the knee injury. My guess is they wanted that to be the focus and it wasn’t early in the match. Orndorff is systematic and dismantles the knee until the fans yelling at him cause sufficient distraction for Gibson to get a few shots in. They run a lot of smart reversals where Gibson doesn’t use the knee much, which is good. Gibson counters into a bulldog but Orndorff is in the ropes. Gibson thinks he’s won allowing Orndorff to clip the knee and pull the tights to make the finals.

BACKSTAGE the tag champs, Heavenly Bodies and Jim Cornette, berate the Party Patrol (The Rich Brothers) for thinking they can compete with the Bodies. Cornette reminds all the “big, fat, ugly cornfed women” to not touch the Bodies while they’re out there.

SMW tag titles – Heavenly Bodies (c) w/Jim Cornette v Party Patrol (Johnny/Davey Rich)

This was supposed to be the Fantastics but Jackie Fulton injured his knee and fucked that plan up. The Bodies won the belts on TV instead setting up this routine defence. Cornette introduces his team and reminds the men in attendance to control their women who are grabbing at his tag team. We clip right from the off. The Rich’s get a few dropkicks in to start and thus begins the babyface basics. The Bodies bail and walk out with the belts. Cornette does a great sell on the Bodies nearly getting counted out. Like a count out is bad for the champs! Dr Tom tries for a time out. Lane blames Davey for a closed fist, which never happened. Poor Davey gets a ticking off from referee Mark Curtis. Bodies have superior teaming and Lane kicks Davey from the apron allowing Dr Tom to lay him out. Davey gets beaten up for ages with the Bodies doing an effective job of cutting the ring off. Cornette sneaks in a tennis racket shot to the neck. Davey takes some really silly bumps. Not quite Mr Perfect style but along those lines. Which is weird for a babyface if you ask me. The Bodies deserve better. He works in the 360 flip bump. Dr Tom misses with a back elbow off the top and Davey has a chance to hot tag. He gets it and Johnny comes in to clean house. Shame he’s too heavy to do a good dropkick. They fuck something up that looked like a powerslam and Johnny is really too weak to be in this level of match. Cornette trips Johnny up and Lane legdrops the back of his head for 2. Davey lays Cornette out drawing a huge pop. Meanwhile Dr Tom has an International Object, which he puts on his boot and superkicks Johnny with it. The pin from Lane allows Pritchard to remove the offending object. The champs retain. **1/2. Formula stuff but the Bodies might as well of been wrestling themselves because the Party Patrol suck.

BACKSTAGE the Bodies get another promo. Cornette calls the fans hicks and offers the Rich’s a re-match because they’re not playing. This isn’t cartoon wrestling. If you want something you got to fight for it.

SMW title – Paul Orndorff v Brian Lee

Bullet Bob Armstrong comes out here to award the belt to Orndorff because Lee has lost a lot of blood and has a shoulder injury. Orndorff celebrates with the belt but Lee comes out and says Paul has to beat him regardless of doctor’s orders. Orndorff gleefully takes the challenge and pounds the injured Lee. Outside and Orndorff uses a chair to try and open Lee up again. The second bladejob from Lee is even better than the first one. He grabs Orndorff in a headlock but Orndorff suplexes out. Orndorff is tired from his two earlier matches too so when they clash heads that’s enough to knock both guys down. Ref gets bumped by an errant Orndorff elbow. Orndorff takes advantage of the lawless land to go for the piledriver but Lee backdrops out. DWB runs out here but Lee knocks him off the apron. Foreign object in but Lee sees it coming and blocks it. Bullet Bob has taken over as the referee. Bob sees the foreign object and calls Lee the champion on DQ. DQ? DQ? Fucking bullshit. *.

POST MATCH The assorted heels attack Lee and Bullet Bob has to defend him. Wrestlers pile out here in a messy brawl thus denying even the raising of the title belt.

BACKSTAGE Paul Orndorff shouts about what a rip off this tournament was. He says there’s a conspiracy against him. He warns Bullet Bob he’ll piledrive him the next time he sticks his nose is Mr Wonderful’s business. Orndorff wants that belt.

ELSEWHERE A bloody Brian Lee says this should be the happiest day of his life but Dirty White Boy and Paul Orndorff went and pissed him off. He threatens vengeance for his blood loss.

The 411: A disappointingly average overhyped big show for SMW. A few good matches can’t cover a bad clip job and a lame end to the tournament. Results like that render weeks of booking and clips shows irreverent too, which makes the lead in shows to this one all the more frustrating.
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]