The Happy-Go-Sucky Wrestling Report 03.18.09

Before I start things off this week, I owe an apology to some of you.

Last week, I let some “trolls” get to me on the comment section of this column. Usually I don’t ever let anyone get to me the way I did last week. But last week, I opened a can and my anger poured out. So for those who respect me and appreciate the work I put into this column every week, I apologize that you had to see that.

However, to the trolls whom I went off on, I don’t apologize for a thing. In fact, I’m going to continue to talk about my radio show and giving my opinion! And I’m going to do that right now!

Make sure ya listen up this Saturday at 9pm EST to catch our 2 hour wrestling radio program! We will discuss everything from Wrestlemania, to TNA’s last pay-per-view, and have a live interview with a member of Ohio Valley Wrestling, and live in the studio, the president of New South Wrestling, a local wrestling promotion here in Kentucky! Listen live on the web at www.talk1490.com!

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, CUE BANNER!

News: More details in the death of Andrew “Test” Martin are becoming available.

According to a report by The Tampa Tribune, police officers have stated that they discovered prescription drugs, including painkillers and steroids, in the apartment of Andrew Martin. Police also speculate that Martin was in the middle of a meal when he passed away, as a half eaten pizza and soda were found in near the body.

A toxicology report is pending, but the final report is not expected back for a few weeks.

Obviously it would be wrong of me to debate the good and bad of the death of a young athlete, so I’m not. I was actually rather fond of Test, particularly his early days in the WWF. To this date, storylines he was involved in are still running, particularly the marriage of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. I had high hopes for Test after that angle and had hoped that Test would become one of the top stars in the business. Unfortunately, they dropped him down to the midcard, where he won the IC Title, which I marked out for, then he was relegated to the Hardcore division, the European title, and then that was it. Although I loved the whole “Testicles” gimmick he and Stacy Keibler went through.

Now I’m sure someone’s going to get mad at me for mentioning this, but we were actually in the works of having Test on our radio show in the next couple of weeks. I had been in talks with a guy who booked Test for appearances and such. He just needed to get in contact with Test to make sure he was cool with it. Last week, we had actually been talking about Test, and now, suddenly, he’s gone.

Unfortunately, the news above is the same song and dance we’ve all seen one too many times. Steroids and painkillers, mixed with a dose of caffeine and greasy pizza isn’t exactly the breakfast of champions.

However, before people start pointing their finger and rolling their eyes, here’s a thought to consider. Last year, Test entered a rehab program that was funded by the WWE. That wasn’t such a long time ago. So who’s to say that those drugs and painkillers hadn’t been in his apartment since before his rehab?

I’m not a health nut and I’m defiantly not a doctor, but perhaps Test, who wasn’t actively wrestling anymore, didn’t have the best eating habits and they finally caught up to him.

Sadly, not everyone will see it that way. With 8 weeks before the toxicology reports are released, the national media will cover it and call for an end to pro wrestling again similar to the way they did after the Chris Benoit tragedy. Which is really important since this is the homecoming weeks for wrestling fans all across the country.

News: There is a chance both sets of Tag Titles will be defended at Wrestlemania with The Miz & Morrison taking on Primo and Carlito with both sets on the line.

Happy: What? Wait! I thought a Highlander told me that Vince doesn’t like tag team wrestling! Almost as impressive as the thought of the Intercontinental championship being defended at Wrestlemania, neither of the tag team titles had been defended at Wrestlemania since Wrestlemania 20. (Rob Van Dam & Booker T retained the World Tag Team Titles against Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, The Dudley Boys, and La Resistance while Scotty 2 Hotty and Rikishi defeated the APA, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, and the Bashams to retain the WWE Tag Team Titles). The last time the tag team titles CHANGED HANDS at a Wrestlemania, was at Wrestlemania 17 when Edge & Christian defeated The Dudleys and The Hardy’s in that classic Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.

So needless to say, the idea that both sets of titles will actually be defended and the fact that one set may actually change hands (unless of course there’s a count out or DQ), we might actually see the tag titles change hands on the big show since WCW was still in business. That’s a decent step for tag team wrestling in the WWE. Not a big one, or a good one, but a decent one.

Go Sucky: However, the direction of that step depends on what happens to a set of titles after Wrestlemania. Let’s say Miz & Morrisson, who have to be heavily favored to win the match since the WWE is hyping them as the greatest tag team of the 21st century wins the titles, will they unify the titles and declare Miz & Morrison the tag team champions of both Raw and Smackdown?

Title unification, while probably necessary given the scarce tag team wrestling in the WWE these days, would pretty much keep tag team wrestling from ever making a comeback in the WWE. With fewer and fewer legit tag teams, and now only one set of titles, things are looking bleak. Which is sad given some of the greatest wrestlers today got their starts as tag team wrestlers.

If the WWE needs ideas on how to creatively script tag team wrestling and push stars as singles guys, then they should take a look at past OVW cards. Ohio Valley Wrestling knows how to push tag team wrestling better than any other wrestling company in the country. They form a good tag team, hype them up, then suddenly, one turns on the other and they fight, with one of them eventually heading on to a World Title reign while the other challenges the winner for it. And before you even miss them in the tag title picture, another tag team is on the rise and getting popular.

News: Suicide in the new TNA X Division Champion.

Happy: Since I know that’s Christopher Daniels in that costume, then I can be happy about it. But only because it’s Christopher Daniels. From all accounts I read, this was a great match and the best match of the night by a long shot. If Dixie is really planning on fixing the X-Division, Suicide as the champion is defiantly a good approach.

Go Sucky: I not only have a problem with this, but I have a problem with the Suicide character in general. My reason being, is anyone still actually buying or playing the TNA video game anymore? Isn’t that what this character was supposed to do? Promote the video game and convince people to buy it to play as this new guy?

And just now, he’s in his very first match and wins the X Division title. About 4 or 5 months after the release of the game. The game is already in the frickin’ bargain bin. Now I know that Kaz got injured and this was supposed to be his character but TNA should have completely scrapped this idea when Kaz went down. They took WAY too long to get Suicide in the ring and now he’s just another X-Division gimmick.

News: The WWE is lowering their ticket prices to $20-$25 dollars to counteract the recession.

Happy: That’s good news for us poor wrestling fans who the economy is affecting the most. The WWE had to cut a ton of its roster, a lot of them from backstage, the rest were mostly newer talents because the money just wasn’t there for the WWE. So the WWE was obviously feeling the hurt.

One could assume one reason the WWE lost so much money last year may have been because fans just weren’t spending money on going to the house shows. For just one fan, if you bought two tickets at 40 bucks each, then of course you’ve gotta buy a souvenir, usually a $25 dollar t-shirt, each, then you’ve already spent about $130.

That’s just for two people. Imagine if about 100,000 wrestling fans who wanted to see the house show, but just couldn’t afford the tickets? That’s a LOT of money. If the WWE could get half of that back this year, then hopefully that’s about 3 new talents they could save next year.

Go Sucky: However, this is a pretty big gamble on the part of the WWE. If these lowered prices still don’t bring in fans to the house shows, that’s going to mean a lot of trouble. Especially for old veterans and developmental wrestlers.

If that were to happen, the WWE can’t afford to release it’s new talents. The young members on the roster are already unimpressive and not really a good foundation to re-build the WWE on years down the road.

News: Chris Jericho’s Wrestlemania opponent will be Jimmy Snuka vs. Roddy Piper vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat in a handicap match with Ric Flair in the corner of the Legends and Mickey Rourke in the front row.

Happy: Guys like Snuka, Piper, and Steamboat were very underrated in their careers and they never really got their last hurrah on the big stage. Ric Flair’s retirement match last week moved a lot of us, and apparently moved a lot of WWE legends too.

So now guys like Snuka, Piper, and Steamboat will get to have their last stand in the ring in front of millions. This is a great way of getting these guys the respect they deserve, and a way to get Chris Jericho more heal heat than he’s ever had.

Go Sucky: Kind of a let down eh? I think the internet, including myself, really got everyone’s hopes up for a big match between some popular wrestler like Stone Cold or Hulk Hogan. But honestly, those guys have better (or in Hogan’s case, worse) things to be doing.

However, I don’t think this match will get the respect it should because of those in the ring. Snuka, Piper, and Steamboat haven’t been popular in 20 years and aren’t going to be popular at Wrestlemania. Had Hogan or Stone Cold been involved in this match, you’re looking at a couple hundred extra thousand buys, but instead, I believe a couple hundred thousand people who WERE going to buy it, aren’t anymore.

RAPID FIRE

News: Former WWF Women’s Champion Wendy Richter has declined the WWE’s invitation to be in the WWE Divas Battle Royal.

That’s really disappointing. I would have loved to have seen her and Mae Young duke it out!

News: Former TNA wrestler Johnny Devine was at FCW recently.

Good for Johnny! He had a tryout match a couple weeks of ago so this is pretty encouraging news for him.

News: Traci Brooks & Kaz are planning to get married in January.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a certain 411 writer jumping off a bridge.

News: Chris Benoit is in the new WWE Encyclopedia.

I wonder if they drew a mustache and horns on his photo.

News: Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP for the US Title is scheduled for the 500th episode of Smackdown.

If Shelton loses, and he probably will since a title has to change hands on a historic show, then it looks like Carlito and Primo are about to becoming the longest reigning champions in the WWE and TNA.

And that’s going to do it this week! And I’m proud to say:

Until next week my friends, may your lives be Happy…or Go Sucky!