The Main Event (2.3.1989) Review

-Originally wrote this in 2012…

-Instead of the usual cold open promos, we get a clip montage narrated by Vince McMahon, at peak chainsaw voice, recapping the entire saga. Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage are the best of friends…Big Bossman and Slick blinded Hulk and beat him senseless with a nightstick on “The Brother Love Show”…They did much the same at the Survivor Series…Then they went after Elizabeth at Saturday Night’s Main Event and that drew the ire of Randy Savage…Akeem and Bossman exacted their revenge on Savage a few weeks later…and that brings us to tonight’s match, which the graphic clearly identifies as “Super Clash,” and that has to be a well-thought-out middle finger to the AWA.

-Originally aired live on February 3, 1989.

-We’re in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura. Vince and Jesse use a variety of poker metaphors to make their predictions about tonight’s main event.

-Gene Okerlund talks to the Twin Towers. Gene refers to the Towers’ recent actions as “terrorist attacks” in the weirdest moment ever. Akeem talks about the Law of the Jungle and Big Bossman talks about the Law of the Land. Bossman’s massive pit stains make me think that a 10-minute side headlock would be the perfect strategy for winning this.

-We take a look at a music video highlighting the entire history of the friendship between Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. They’re not just friends; they’re mega-friends.

-Gene Okerlund talks to the Mega Powers and says he suspects that the game plan tonight is to demolish and tear down the Twin Towers. They should have repackaged Slick as a conspiracy theorist and cut a bunch of promos about how Hulk Hogan can’t melt the Big Boss Man. Hulk Hogan says that they have love on their side. Randy Savage says that the pain tore him apart when he saw Elizabeth being manhandled and handcuffed by the Twin Towers.

MEGA POWERS (with Elizabeth) vs. TWIN TOWERS (with Slick)
-Savage and Bossman start, but Bossman insists on starting with Hogan, so Hogan gamely steps in. Hogan throws punches and the crowd pops like it’s the finish. He atomic drops Bossman over the top and onto the floor. Back in, Bossman clubbers, but Hogan retaliates and Bossman goes to the floor for a breather. Savage won’t allow it, attacking him with an axehandle on the floor. Crowd is jacked for this, counting along with the referee even though Bossman is on his feet and clearly heading back into the ring.

-Akeem tags in and gets pinballed in the Mega corner. Axehandle by Savage off the top, but Akeem won’t go off his feet. Hogan makes a rare voyage off the second rope, but Akeem fights back and still won’t go down. Savage accidentally distracts the referee and allows the Towers to take control. Hogan manages to backdrop Bossman onto the floor and they brawl out there. Slick trips Hogan up on the way back in and takes a kick to the face from Savage for his trouble.

-Spinebuster by Bossman gets two. Akeem steps back in and pounds away some more, but he ducks out of harm’s way and finally tags Savage into the match. Bodypress off the top gets two when Bossman makes the save. Slick trips up Savage, too. Akeem lobs him over the top rope and onto the floor. That works so well that Akeem does it again. And this time Savage lands full-weight on top of Elizabeth and knocks her the fuck out. Elizabeth takes a great bump for someone who never took any, by the way. Hogan goes to the floor and checks on Savage. Savage gets up just in time to see Hogan checking on Elizabeth, which rubs him the wrong way.

-Before he can do anything, the Towers drag Savage into the ring and double-team him. Hulk seems lost about what to do, but then Savage gets a second wind and easily fights off both Towers, so, figuring everything is going to be okay with Randy, Hogan carries Elizabeth down the aisle to a stretcher and runs back to the medical station…Honestly, once she was on that stretcher, that should have been that.

-But Hulk STAYS WITH HER, crying and screaming for Jesus as he rushes Elizabeth back to the first aid station. He stays by her side and continues weeping openly, holding her hand, checking her breathing, asking the doctor if she’ll be okay, and muttering “Randy didn’t mean it”…

-Back from commercial, Towers are wailing on Savage. We go back to the first aid station, where Hulk mumbles “Thank God you’re okay” to Elizabeth, and then looks right at the cameraman and says “Tizzime…gimme a countdown or something.” (Note from 2019 Adam: And WWE Network edits this out! Come on, it’s been 30 years, no one’s going to think the company sucks now if you leave in a 30-year-old blooper.) Elizabeth regains consciousness and asks Hulk what happened, and after getting the briefing, she tells Hogan to go back to the ring. Hulk runs for a few moments, and then, thinking he’s off-camera, casually walks. Turn on him, Macho.

-Hogan finally makes it back to the ring. Towers go for a double-splash, but in a rare use of physics for a spot, the impact of two 400-pounders hitting the ropes is too much, and Akeem falls out of the ring before he can hit his part of the splash, and Bossman is so thrown off by it that he misses. Huh. I liked that.

-Another note from 2019 Adam: I swear to God, for the longest time, I didn’t realize that was a botch. The timing on it was perfect because it was leading to a hot tag anyway, and Boss Man goes through with his part of the spot. If it was me in that situation and my partner fell out of the ring I would have turned around and looked at him. It really did not register with me that this was a mistake for a while because it was such a perfect moment the way it played out. Okay, back to the review.

-Savage is so worked up that he’s able to toss Bossman over the top rope after all he’s been through. Hogan sticks his arm out for the tag. Savage tags…and slaps him. Hogan is so stunned that he misses Bossman sneaking up from behind for an attack. Savage starts to leave, enraging the fans, then returns, much to their relief…Turns out he only came back because he forgot his belt, which is pretty funny. Savage is outta there.

-Meanwhile, the Towers keep up the assault, but Hogan hulks up as usual; boot and legdrop and the wrong fucking guy wins the match. Post-match, Hogan handcuffs Bossman and Slick together and heads back to the first aid station. Before covering the rest…Hulk would not have lost one ounce of heat if he had lost, it would have made Savage look like an even bigger prick, and it would have given Hulk two instantly credible challengers after Wrestlemania V.

-Hogan makes it back to the first aid station, where Savage is yelling at Elizabeth for not making him top priority. The Mega Powers argue about Elizabeth. Savage tells Hogan that he has “jealous eyes” and offers to put the belt on the line and face him man to man. To really make the point, Savage knocks him out with the belt. Elizabeth gets up from the stretcher to check on Hulk, and Savage is so upset that he grabs Elizabeth by the arm and throws her across the room. Brutus Beefcake makes the save and Savage takes a few shots at him. Terry Garvin and Pat Patterson take time out from teaching their self-defense courses to come in the room and check on Hulk, and Savage finally retreats. 1 for 1 for an unspectacular but hot match, wrapped in a great angle.

-Gene Okerlund tries to get an interview with Hulk Hogan, but he’s in no condition to speak right now.

HERCULES vs. “Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil)
-Hercules screws up his chain-swinging bit, which is a bad omen. For no particular reason, I’d like to say I loved DiBiase’s green tuxedo.

-Hercules kicks the shit out of DiBiase and Virgil to start. Press slam by Hercules, and he keeps working over both guys. DiBiase snapmares him out to the floor and takes control out there. Back inside, a series of fistdrops by DiBiase gets two. Backbreaker gets another two. Crowd is nowhere near as dead as you’d expect after the last match, so kudos to both men involved here.

-Hercules, looking uncannily like Eugene tonight, makes his comeback with turnbuckle shots and a powerslam. DiBiase fights back while Virgil wraps the chain around a turnbuckle. DiBiase tries to send Hercules facefirst into it, but Hercules reverses and DiBiase goes into the chain…for two. Crowd cannot believe that wasn’t the finish.

-Hercules tries to finish with the backbreaker, but the referee is preoccupied with removing the chain from the turnbuckle. That allows Virgil to interfere, DiBiase rolls up with a handful of tights, and DiBiase gets three, proving conclusively that Hercules should have settled for being his lowly slave. 1 for 2. The wrong guy wins again, but it bothered me here more than it did in the last match for some reason.

-Back at the first aid station, Hogan goes off the deep end and storms out, screaming “Randy! Randy!”

-Jake “The Snake” Roberts is YOUR Mountain Dew Slam of the Night.

-The show closes with Hogan stomping from dressing room to dressing room, looking for Randy Savage, and shoving everybody who tries to get in his way.

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

The significant stuff from the show is in a million different compilations, so take a pass on this one.