wrestling / Columns

The MeeThinks Friday SHOOT INTERVIEW: 05.21.10

May 21, 2010 | Posted by John Meehan

Howdy, all — and welcome back to the penultimate edition of your regularly scheduled week-end dose of intrawebz ‘rasslin optimism.

As promised — this week’s column is the MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks exclusive SHOOT INTERVIEW! Since next week will be my official retirement column from 411wrestling.com, I’ve decided to go out in a blaze of glory by dishing the dirt on this site, these people, and this crazy industry that so many of us love (or is that “tolerate in spite of ourselves?”) so very well.

We’re talking wrestling, writing, faith, fellowships, future plans and more. You posed questions? I’mma’ give it to you straight! No pleasantries. No gimmicks. And no filter.

So buckle up, ‘cuz you’re in for one hell of a ride (and other assorted cliches).

Sound like a plan?

Rock & Roll.

ACTUAL WRESTLING QUESTIONS

What’s the best match you’ve ever seen live?

From a pure workrate perspective? That’d have to be the triple threat at WrestleMania XX, bar none.

For the sake of a “spectacle?” Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam 2005. The actual match was practically a cartoon, but the arena was molten to see the Legend go toe-to-toe with the Icon.

And as for overall sentimentality? I’d have to say Ric Flair versus Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 24. Sure, we all know how that “retirement” stipulation ended up — but on that night, there wasn’t a fan in attendance who couldn’t help but believe that we’d been witness to professional wrestling history.

who do you think will be raws new gm? when danielson mentioned JRs name on NXT I wondered if it would be him. DiBiase was the best guest host (in my opinion) so it could well be him. What do you think?

I seriously doubt that Jim Ross will be back on WWE programming in any real, extended onscreen capacity. Why, you ask? Vince McMahon doesn’t believe that good “OLD” (key word: “old”) JR is particularly marketable to the NEW, younger demographic. Even though Jim Ross is a WWE broadcasting icon, it’s tough to envision him hamming it up as a regular onscreen character — particularly in light of his age and recent health issues.

since farooq was the leader of the nation why was he never in line for the wwe championship while rock was intercontential champ

If I had to guess? I’d say it’s because Rocky was younger, more charismatic, and — most importantly — homegrown.

WWF/E has a strong tradition of pushing original talent over imported guys. True, there have been *plenty* of exceptions (dating all the way back to Hulk Hogan and beyond) — but Vince’s general mindset seems to be “hey, if I’m making a star from scratch, then I’m making him out of one of *my* guys.”

Ron Simmons was already a former champion (and more than a few years past his in-ring prime) by the time he debuted with the WWF. As such, the decision was made to invest more time and effort into the newer, fresher Rocky Maivia with the ultimate hope that The Rock had more upside in the long haul.

Seeing that RAW is short on main event babyfaces, why hasn’t Mark Henry ever get a run at the top? Years ago I remember he was in a title match at one of the Rumbles.Was he ever slated a reign or just to be considered a threat?

Mark Henry is a journeyman, plain and simple. He’s not particularly athletic (though he has had his moments, particularly when he was at his slimmest). And he’s hit or miss behind the microphone, to boot. Not exactly a recipe for main-event success, ya’ know.

So why does he remain employed YEARS after his guaranteed contract ran out? Mark Henry is naturally big, and thus he’s a safe bet when other not-so-naturally big guys continue to get busted for steroids. On top of that, beating a big guy like Henry (no matter how poorly he’s booked) automatically looks like an impressive feat regardless of who does it. Heck, the guy received a WrestleMania payday against THE UNDERTAKER, for cryin’ out loud.

(Of course, Giant Gonzalez did too — for much the same reason, as a matter of fact).

I use to wonder why the Machineguns were never tag champs.Then I assumed that if their were X-Division Tag Titles they probably would be champs.My question is when the X Division was at its peak was their ever an idea for X Division Tag Titles?

I’d heard rumors of starting up a separate set of title belts for an X Division Tag Team division — but rumors are just that, and it’s hard to believe them until they actually materialize on the screen.

Best rumor I’ve ever read during my time on the fringes of the internet wrestling community?

“Perry SATURN and Val VEN[U]S will be forming a tag team called ‘The New Heavenly Bodies,’ and Trish STRATUS will manage them.”

I’d say “you can’t make this stuff up, folks” — but obviously, somebody both can and did.

We’re around the same age since you graduated college in ’05…do you miss the early 90s rasslin days as much as I do?

Not really, no. I miss being a kid, sure — but the early 90s wrestling landscape was pretty downright laughable at times. Between the cartoonish WWF and the directionless WCW mainstream promotions, there wasn’t really all that much to attract the attention of an older fan. Don’t get Mee wrong — that stuff was *gold* when I was 8 years old or so. But aside from the Bret Harts, the Shawn Michaelsziz, and the Mr. Perfects of the world? There was a whole lotta’ WrestleCrap to be had in the early 90s.

The action figures, however, were PIMPIN!

Who’s your favorite female wrestler/Diva? (And I’m not talking about based on her talent…at least, not her in-ring talent)

All time? Miss Elizabeth.

Still living? Leticia Cline.

Why did Rellik fail in TNA?

Rellik failed because the gimmick was an overblown cartoon. Pairing him alongside fellow charicatures like Judas Mesias and Black Reign certainly didn’t help matters — but the simple truth of things is that the gimmick was just way too over-the-top to be taken seriously as anything more than an undercard “monster” sideshow.

Do you think the WWE has tarnished Bryan Danielson legacy? I honestly can’t see a huge enough payoff that will counter the gimmick they gave him.

I wouldn’t worry so much — as I think Bryan Danielson is going to end up just fine.

His NXT debut match (vs. Chris Jericho) made him the talk of the show from the getgo, and even while he was unable to “win” the whole kit and caboodle — his exit promo from the same program seems to have whetted fans appetites all the more to see what this quote-unquote “rookie” can do, if given the chance. So as far as the WWE Universe is concerned, the onscreen name change might be just enough a springboard that Danielson needs to get back to his winning ways.

Mr MeeHan, thank you for everything that you have dedicated to this column. I wish you nothing but good luck. My question is that as a long-time viewer of wrestling, who would you think make into a “Top 10 Wrestlers: 2011-2021”, just by the wrestlers now?

Wow — great question! And thanks 🙂

Who’d be my “top ten of the next ten,” eh? Based solely on who I *think* will do well (and not who I *want to see* do well)? In no particular order, I’d probably say: Chris Jericho, CM Punk, The Miz, Jack Swagger, Randy Orton, John Cena, John Morrison, Samoa Joe (in WWE), Kurt Angle, and — hmm — Matt Morgan, maybe?

Okay, maybe that last one is a total shot in the dark.

I was recently @ a house show,indy show actually,and a wrestler came in pretty much out of nowhere to save the face. Hit his finisher on the heel chased off the heels stable.And he uses those smoke bomb things to disappear.A few of the fans knew who hewas

A) Not a question.
B) Not a complete thought.
C) All of the above.

Sorry man, wish I could help you.

SITE-RELATED QUESTIONS

What’s your favorite column on 411wrestling? (And if you say your own, I’ll drive down to DC to give you a bodyslam, then climb a tree and hit the Macho Man elbow drop on you. OHHHHH YEAHHHHH DIG IT?!)

Week in and week out, I find myself getting a real kick out of the Small-for-All News Report. Lansdell is probably my all-around favorite columnist simply because he knows his shit, but Jeff knows his role and plays it to perfection, which is really tough to beat. JP Prag is/was always another personal favorite, as was Ryan Byers’ old iMPACT! recaps (simply because you could almost smell his seething frustration with every word on the page).

But yeah, the Small-for-All is probably a personal favorite among favorites. While other columns (this one included) can occasionally get self-indulgent, distracted, or just too damned wordy — Small’s work is typically on the money, mainly because he (more than most) seems always to remember that professional wrestling is inherently silly — and thus it’s fun to laugh at ourselves while watching along the way.

What do you think about old 411Mania writer Scotsman?

– and –

Any thoughts on Chris Hyatte?

When he was “on,” Chris Hyatte was among the very best in the first wave of internet wrestling columnists. Even if he did occassionally fall victim to his own hype and self-important douchebaggery (spoiler: this is something of a trend amongst internet columnists — present company included), the guy had a ton of swagger and a writing style that was as engaging as it was entertaining.

(Again, when he was “on,” that is).

I’m probably going to catch some flack for this — but guys like Hyatte, The Scotsman, Rick Scaia, Eric S., and Scott Keith were pretty much the standard bearers when it came to showing folks how it was done in this burgeoning new medium known as the “Internet Wrestling Community.” Chances are, most of the writers you see here today were inspired either directly by these guys or the folks who followed closely in their footsteps.

Did you really secretly feel betrayed by Ash?

Haha. Nah, Nick’s a good kid. No hard feelings there.

Is Csonka the HHH of 411wrestling?

I think this is a pretty apt metaphor — yeah. Both for the negative misconceptions that surround the guy and for the less-publicized (but equally important) positives that he brings.

Point blank: Larry works his ass off for the site, and finds himself at the front and center of its efforts on many an occassion. When columnists flake out, Larry picks up the slack. When there are spots to be filled, Larry is the man who makes it happen. And when there are fingers to be pointed at the broader state of the 411wrestling coverage (for better or worse) — Larry Csonka is typically the guy on the receiving end of the criticism (for better or worse).

Does he get more exposure than some newer columnists? Well yeah — but that’s because he’s earned it over many years’ worth of quality writing, and he has proven that he can bring the hits. Likewise, his dedication to the site is such that he won’t be found on the short list of guys likely to leave 411 high and dry when we’re in a pinch for a major article — and as such, his stuff tends to sift its way towards the top of the pages accordingly.

Like Triple H, Larry is a company man through and through. He’s got a ton of clout around these parts since he’s the de-facto “go-to” guy, of course, and thus he’s bound to draw some criticism — but there’s really no denying the fact that the man brings nothing short of his total commitment and his absolute best.

Who’s beard is better? Grizzly Adams, Mike Knox, or yours?

Mike Knox for the win.

Sadly, my beard has been reduced to more of a permanent stubble. My youngest brother, however, has been known to rock a pretty fantastic mountain man look from time to time:

Watch your back, Knox

You better have something nice to say about Jeff Small considering he held up your gay Trodgor sign at a WWE Supershow in 2006!

Jeff Small makes Ghandi look like a child pornographer.

Incidentally, I’m pretty sure Jeff Small posted a good number of the anonymous questions you see here before you — and that’s a SHOOT, brother!

Bring back Kayfabesbook!

Maybe next week.

(Then again — maybe not?)

Meehan, a quote from your thesis: ‘To illustrate just how unsuccessful WWE was in marketing these new performers as worthy of competing in their main-event level, one should observe that the company’s May 2003 Judgment Day event – WWE’s first

Fun fact: Formspring limits the number of characters users can submit when asking a question. Sorry man! Shoot Mee an e-mail and I’ll try to field your question next week.

(Obligatory p.s. — my undergraduate thesis is a full five years out of date. While the research that went into the thing was certainly valid and applicable at the time of its writing — there are a lot of things that have changed in the time since its publication.)

My spelling mistakes and punctuation errors, however, remain inexcusable.

What do you think about disgraced 411 columnist Bradford Riley?

Couldn’t tell you — never met the guy.

Whatever happened to Matt Nute? He had a great column with “The Finish Line”, and he just seemed to dissapear for 411 without as much as a farewell column and other writers seem to ignore the subject

I’m not one to ignore a subject — but in truth, a good number of us in the “411 family” have never actually met one another face-to-face, and thus it can become kind of difficult to keep tabs on people after they’ve mosied on down the proverbial trail.

Rule of thumb: if a writer “disappears without a trace and without a warning,” chance are good that they flaked out without giving the site proper notice, and thus we were forced to scramble, cover for them, and pick up the slack at the last minute. Suffice to say, throwing a full-blown retirement party in a dude’s honor is probably not at the top of our priority list.

Timmy Tomko wished better for all of us. Do you see?

Ahhh — so *this* is where all the trolls come to hang out when the 411 forums go down, eh?

(On second thought, let’s not go to the 411 forums. It is a silly place).

NON-SEQUITIRS AND THE LIKE

Have you ever met Mickey Mouse?

Lol. This is what I get for asking readers to pose “shoot” questions.

But yes, I’ve met Mickey. Still no sign of Scrooge McDuck, however.

I’ve been searching through hell and high water for one but is there a sort of nutrition guide for aspiring wrestlers?

“Wrestler” diets should look a lot like those of other elite athletes: namely, you wanna’ build muscle like it’s your job, so we’re talking high protein, lots of carbs, minimal sugars, and low fat.

True, plenty of professional athletes get by on Big Macs and controlled substances — but in my limited “athletic” experience (as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a distance runner) — keeping a healthy diet can really go a long way towards putting your body in peak physical performance condition.

Basically, if you wanna’ maintain lean muscle, you’re going to need to consume 1/2 gram of protein for every pound in your body. So if you’re a 200 pound guy — try to eat no less than 100 grams of lean protein per day (at the very least). If you’re looking to get jacked? You’ll want to push that protein intake up to a full 1-to-1 ratio: so that means one gram of protein for every pound in your body.

In either case: you might consider skipping the typical 3 meals a day schedule in favor of the more flexible *6* meals a day option (Kurt Angle writes about this extensively in his “It’s True, It’s True” biography). Start with a big breakfast and taper off as the day wears on. This allows you to kickstart your metabolism early and sustain it with regular, smaller meals throughout the day, and it is a great counterpart to a regular workout regimen (which is an absolute must — we’re talking at least two extended workouts a day, i.e. one cardio & one weights, etc.).

As for what foods are actually worth eating? A general rule of thumb that I’ve discovered (again, this is coming from a guy who’s talking about marathon training — but much of the underlying principles are the same): processed stuff is death — so try to limit yourself to no more than 200 calories of “junk food” a day. This goes for sugary drinks too (sodas etc.) — and so you’re gonna’ end up drinking a boatload of water. Superfoods include eggs (raw if you can stomach ’em, but cooked work almost as well), fresh fruit (smoothies are a great option), chicken (avoid the sodium-heavy sauces, however), pasta (whole wheat is best), peanuts (unsalted), spinach (loaded with vitamins and iron), and salmon (omega 3 for the WIN!). And get to know lemons and extra virgin olive oil — they will quickly become your go-to “seasoning” and your new best friend.

Finally, in a pinch: build your “snack” food staples around bagels, granola, and Clif Bars (I’ve tried a number of energy foods — and Clif is the best in terms of all-around taste and nutrition, by far).

Good luck!

Can God create a boulder so heavy he can’t lift it?

Better question: can God create a waffle so hot that even He couldn’t eat it?

“Better question: can God create a waffle so hot that even He couldn’t eat it?” Yes, and then he’d eat it anyway!

You don’t really understand how “ask a question” works, do you?

If God knows everything, controls everything, and has perfect judgment, then isn’t it meaningless – if not an insult to God – to pray for God to change things?

Yup.

That’s why it’s usually the sounder course of action that one prays to *comprehend* God’s will, not to change it.

(Matthew 26:42)

FUTURE ENDEAVORS

Why are you retiring?

Long story short(ish):

I’ve been offered a teaching fellowship that will require a ton of my time and attention, and thus I will no longer have the kind of schedule that allows for regular weekly rants on this wild and wonderful pseudo-sport that I know and love so well.

Basically, I’ll be teaching, writing, and researching like it’s my job (ha!) — and something had to give. On the bright side? They’re giving me a substantial raise (huzzah!) and I’ll have scads of time to dedicate to my “professional” writing endeavors.

Do you still plan to have a career as a comedy writer?

Here’s hoping!

Starting in June, my “future endeavors” will afford me a boatload of free time and a surprising influx of cash. That, in turn, should allow me a great deal of newfound time, energy, and resources to dedicate towards a second career as a writer. As for the progress thus far? I’ve traded scripts and revisions with represented writers and writers assistants on both coasts. Along the way, I’ve already begun networking with some incredibly talented folks currently writing for E!, The CW, TMZ, and Universal pictures. And in three weeks, I’m meeting with a kickass drama writer from L.A. who’s pitched to two networks so far this year alone.

Is it a long shot? No question. But if you never try, then you’ll never know — so there’s certainly no harm in giving it a go. In the immortal words of Will Hoge — “keep on dreamin’ even if it breaks your heart.”

What’s your favorite stuff to write?

It’s kind of a cop out, but I really like writing material that showcases my “voice.” Some might disagree, but I like to think that my writing style is conversational with a smidge of self-deprecating entitlement — and that’s pretty much the type of humor I find to be the most engaged and entertaining (think Conan O’Brien).

So yeah, that’s about it.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

Next week is the grandaddy of them all. Thanks again for reading, and hope you enjoyed our little shoot interview. Be sure to tune in next Friday for some actual wrestling news and the final MeeThinks, and always stay positive.

– Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1-800-799-SAFE.

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