The Name on the Marquee: WWF Superstars of Wrestling Challenge (01.23.88)

WWF SUPERSTARS OF WRESTLING – JANUARY 23, 1988

-We’re in Huntsville, AL.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, & Jesse Ventura.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (with Elizabeth) vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
-Savage wrings the arm until Horowitz backs him into the ropes. Savage is able to keep control with a shoulderblock and a backdrop. In comes Peggy Sue to warn Elizabeth that if she comes too close to the Honky Tonk Man, she’ll get her hair ripped out.

-Back to the ring, a knee to the back sends Horowitz to the floor, and Savage does his thing from the top turnbuckle. Continuity from Jesse Ventura as he calls out Bruno for being a hypocrite, putting over Randy Savage now after physically attacking him back in 1986. You rock, Jesse.

-Savage is just toying with Horowitz at this point, but finally decides he’s had enough fun and finishes with the flying elbow.

UPDATE WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-Craig DeGeorge recaps the kidnapping of Matilda and the suspension of the Islanders, a suspension so harsh that it lasted one week and the Islanders were on TV during that time. Matilda is currently recuperating in an animal hospital. Bobby Heenan laughs his ass off about her physical condition. The British Bulldogs are close to tears as they describe Matilda’s current condition: She’s lost a lot of weight and she gets scared whenever people come near her.

-Craig DeGeorge gives us a “Get Well, Matilda” address to mail cards and letters to the dog. In reality, they were doing this to beef up merchandise sales; fans who sent cards to Matilda were added to the WWF catalog mailing list. This marketing strategy makes no sense to me, because if you sit down and write a get-well letter to a dog that you saw on the picture box, how much disposable income could you possibly have?

ONE MAN GANG & “The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Slick) vs. W.D. WELLINGTON & RICKY HUNTER
-Wellington commits jobber plagiarism by patting himself on the back during his intro, mere minutes after we saw Barry Horowitz in action. Jesse Ventura calls the Get Well Matilda campaign stupid right there in front of the boss and Vince valiantly defends it and reads the address again.

-Reed & Hunter go nowhere on the lock-up. Don Muraco drops in and threatens the Gang by reminding him what happens to people, the bigger they are.

-Back in the ring, Reed rams Hunter into the Gang’s boot. Gang comes in and gives him a hard slam. Elbow by the Gang and he tosses Hunter into Wellington just so he can have the fun of beating up a fresh man. Backbreaker by the Gang. Reed comes back in and connects with a high knee. Reed hits his own backbreaker. The Gang returns to finish Wellington off with the gourdbuster.

-Craig DeGeorge tells New Haven, CT about the upcoming card on February 9. Rick Rude vs. Koko B. Ware! Hillbilly Jim vs. Dino Bravo! Sensational Sherri defends the Ladies’ Title against Rockin’ Robin. In the main event, Randy Savage & Strike Force step into the cage with Honky Tonk Man & Hart Foundation!

-A plain, black screen that says nothing more than “Wrestlemania IV: March 27, 1988.” This is totally lost in the days of 12 pay-per-views a year, but when there weren’t any matches to hype yet, they’d show you a graphic like that, and dammit, that was enough.

BILLY JACK HAYNES & KEN PATERA vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE & JOE MIRTO
-Attempted retconning by Vince McMahon, who tells us that Ken Patera needs the cast due to an attack from Demolition. That’s why it’s called the Weasel Whacker, right?

-Haynes shoulderblocks Sharpe and hiptosses him. Side headlock by Billy until Sharpe backs him into a corner and punches free. Vince talks about the big special on February 5 and confirms that, in fact, Ted DiBiase & Virgil will be at ringside in Andre’s corner.

-Back to the ring, Patera works the arm of Mirto and Haynes adds some headlockery to the proceedings. Patera hammers him with the cast until Mirto goes to the eyes and chokes him. Patera reverses an Irish whip and along comes Demolition to warn everybody that ’88 is their year. Agreed.

-Back to the ring, Haynes clamps on the full nelson and Mirto submits immediately as Patera knocks Sharpe out of the ring.

-Craig DeGeorge announces more matches for the big card on February 9. Your “WTF?” bout of the show: Paul Roma vs. Johnny V. Craig talks to Frenchy Martin, who warns “Mister Hillbilly” that as long as the odor in the ring doesn’t overwhelm Dino Bravo, he’s assured a victory. Rick Rude steps in to tell us that he doesn’t like Koko B. Ware’s greasy hair or his funky cologne, so he’s going to take him down, and he plans on partying with the ladies in New Haven afterward.

DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS & HART FOUNDATION (with Jimmy Hart) vs. SAM HOUSTON, REX KING, & VAN VAN HORNE
-Jesse Ventua demands that Vince & Bruno own up to all the snide comments they made when Danny Davis announced he was going to become a wrestler and give him credit for continuing to wrestle AND win.

-Sam and the jobbers go nuts on Davis, taking turns working the arm until Davis gets a lucky clothesline on King. Anvil rams him upside-down into the corner and Bret takes advantage of the situation. Backbreaker by Bret; piledriver follows. Davis comes back in and hammers King. Bodyslam by Davis, but an elbow misses, and Houston comes back in to wail on his nemesis. He knocks the Foundation off the apron for good measure. That’s a mistake because that puts Bret in prime position to trip him up when he bounces off the ropes. Jobbers complain to the referee, and the Foundation sneaks in and kills Houston with the Hart Attack. Davis dives on top of Houston and gets the three-count. Vince theorizes that Danny Davis is trying to humble Sam Houston. Eww.

-Meanwhile, the WWF Magazine says that Brutus Beefcake needs to humble Greg Valentine. Eww. We go to Saturday Night’s Main Event, where Brutus Beefcake chased Valentine from the ring clear back to the locker room, then cut Jimmy Hart’s hair.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-Craig’s guests are Andre the Giant & “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. Andre pledges that he will not keep the belt for himself after he wins it on February 5.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. STEVE LOMBARDI
-Lombardi interrupts a “Hoooo” with right hands. That just pisses off Duggan and he clotheslines Lombardi. He rams Lombardi from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. Irish whip and a slam by Duggan. Three-point stance finishes.

-Bad News Brown assures us that there’s no more good news.

-We look at the Get Well Matilda address one more time.

KING HARLEY RACE, HERCULES, & RAVISHING RICK RUDE (with Bobby Heenan) vs. SCOTT CASEY, LEAPING LANNY POFFO, & JERRY ALLEN
-Lanny’s poem is a recap of the events of the Slammy Awards, while Jesse reads some amusing quotes from Rick Rude’s interview in WWF Magazine.

-Rude hammers Casey and shoulderblocks him. Race comes in with a suplex. Allen tags in and runs into a kneelift. Rude offers a suplex. Hercules slams him across the ring. Here comes the Leapster and he gets caught in the wrong corner. Series of forearms by Rude. Vince announces that there will be two additional matches on the February 5 special. They’re both title matches, but we don’t know more than that right now. Damn, guess we’ll have to watch next week, huh?

-Hercules finishes off Allen with a torture rack.

-Craig DeGeorge has words with Randy Savage & Strike Force. God, Tito & Rick just got worse and worse with promos with each passing week that they were together. I never saw two men affected like that just from being paired up.

WWF WRESTLING CHALLENGE – JANUARY 24, 1988

-Coming to you from Nashville, TN. We’re told in one breath tells us that it’s the country music capital of the world, and concerts by Def Leppard and Yes will be held at the Auditorium in the coming weeks.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

HONKY TONK MAN (Intercontinental Champion, with Jimmy Hart & Peggy Sue) vs. JERRY ALLEN
-A cluster of fans have the new WWF “Outshout the Mouth of the South” megaphones and scream angrily at Jimmy. Bobby immediately gets a great line, saying the fans are angry because they tried to fill the megaphones with Coke and couldn’t figure out why their pants got wet. Gorilla reacts predictably.

-Honky works the arm. Allen reverses, and Honky gets away by going for the eyes. Elizabeth responds to Peggy Sue’s accusations, assuring her that she’s not interested in honking Honky’s honker.

-Honky rams Allen into the turnbuckle as Gorilla assures us that February 5 will be a happening. Bobby promises that the Indianapolis 500 won’t be a big deal on that night. Hey, that’s true, I read that on the night of that special, there were absolutely no fans in attendance at the Speedway. Just goes to show what a huge draw the WWF was at that point.

-Back to the ring, Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, and Roll to get a big win over “ring veteran” Jerry Allen. Honky knows his audience and knows that Nashville supports him more than any other city in the world. He thanks them very much.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-We recap…you guessed it…the kidnapping of Matilda. We go to the British Bulldogs; they have a sad. Hey, did you know there’s an address where you can send get well cards to Matilda? Because apparently there is.

STRIKE FORCE (Tag Team Champions) vs. DAVE WAGNER & TIGER CHUNG LEE
-Lee backs Tito into a corner. They trade arm wringers, but Chunger manages to shoulderblock Tito down. Tito fights back with a backdrop and a dropkick. Armdrag by Tito and the Force double-teams Lee. In comes Demolition, who accuses Strike Force of running from them.

-Back to the ring, where Martel gets flying headscissors on Lee. Lee dazes him with forearms and tags in Wagner. Wagner rams Martel into the turnbuckle, but misses a charge. Martel follows with a monkeyflip. Tito tags in and gets trapped in the wrong corner.Lee & Wagner tee off on him until Tito comes back with a hard punch. Martel tags back in and cleans house with dropkicks and slams. He tosses Lee over the top rope and Tito KOs Wagner with the flying forearm to win.

-Gene Okerlund tells us about the formally-renamed Royal Rumble. Jim Duggan congratulates his alma mater, SMU, on their perfect season, and talks about his big strategy for the Rumble. He’ll look at his opponents and hit them. Thanks, Jim.

-Oliver Humperdink & Bam-Bam Bigelow promise that 1988 will be the year of Bam-Bam.

“Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil) vs. DAVE STOUDIMIERE
-Heenan wonders why Dave Stoudimiere doesn’t change his name to something less-stupid-sounding, like Stan Stoudimiere. Whatever his name, he dropkicks DiBiase & Virgil into each other at the bell. DiBiase’s pissed and absolutely mauls him. He tosses him to the floor, then yells at Virgil for dropping the money when he got bumped.

-Out on the floor, he slams Stoudimiere and tosses him back inside. Elbow from the second rope by DiBiase, followed by a powerslam. Another slam and the backward falling elbow finishes.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Don Muraco about the Royal Rumble. They talk about the luck of the draw. Don Muraco talks about the undefined “prize money” for the winner. See, that kind of bothered me about the Rumble before they began doing the Wrestlemania title shot thing. There was never a clearly-explained prize. I mean, obviously it was money, but…what kind of money? And just for the winner? Were there any bonuses for being able to last for a while. How about a bonus for each guy you eliminate? Any shot at that kind of cash?

-Bad News tells us that no good news is coming. So I’ve heard.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. DUSTY WOLF
-The combatants trade punches until Wolf backs away. He catches Beefcake with a forearm and Irish whips him. Beefcake fights back with an elbow and a suplex. We go to Jimmy Hart, holding a “Ban the Barber” picket sign, I guess because “Ban the DDT” worked out so well for him.

-Beefcake sends Wolf from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, then finishes with the sleeper. Let’s cut some hair.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-Outlaw Ron Bass comes out to remind us that he’s still here. He tells “the little fillies” out there that riding the Outlaw is like riding a bull hard. He uses the bullwhip to choke Craig out for good measure.

-Fans offer their predictions for the big title match on February 5.

ISLANDERS (with Bobby Heenan) vs. BRADY BOONE & ERIC COOPER
-Tama chops Boone down, but gets caught with a shoulderblock. Tama comes right back with a faceplant. Here’s Haku and Boone goes for a desperate sleeper. Haku’s fresh, so he rams him into the corner. Boone & Cooper attempt some double-teaming, but Haku clothesline them both down. Cooper tries to charge and gets caught with a foot to the jaw. Tama comes off the top rope with a splash to finish.

-More fan predictions about February 5. You can tell when this taping was done because the fans keep referring to Andre attacking Hogan “the other night.”

“The Rock” DON MURACO vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE
-Sharpe shoulderblocks the Rock and celebrates. A “Rock” chant goes up, but Sharpe shoulderblocks and celebrates again. Muraco finally shows some life with a Hiptoss and a slam. Clothesline sends Sharpe out of the ring. Forearms and a front facelock by Muraco. Sharpe tries to fight back with a punch, but Muraco catches him with a punch of his own. Dropkick by The Rock, and then another and another. Muraco wraps things up with a piledriver.

DINO BRAVO (with Frenchy Martin) vs. W.D. WELLINGTON
Bravo outmuscles Wellington. Wellington tries to work the arm and gets knocked down as Gorilla reminds us that the current record-holder for the bench press is Ted Arcidi, but it could be Dino after the Royal Rumble. Frenchy Martin drops in and says French things.

-Back to the ring, Dino puts the boots to Wellington and finishes with a side suplex.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Slick. Slick discusses the value of the luck of the draw for the Rumble. He brings in the One Man Gang, and in a moment packed with foresight, he calls the Gang “an honorary homes” because he shakes hands the correct way, not the weird Caucasian way.

-End of the show. See you at the Rumble, and at Game Show Utopia.

The 411: Some pretty competitive squash matches this week. The shows still seem freakishly hard-focused on the Matilda saga above all else, but a few other angles got some good airtime this week, so we're good.
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]