The SD! Highlight Reel 10.28.05

The SD! Highlight Reel
October 28, 2005 A.D.
Taped from: San Francisco, CA
Hosts: Michael Cole, Tazz & Friends

Welcome friends. I apologise for the lack of recent reporting; in short, my course load is whooping up on me something fierce, but I’m going to fight like the dickens to set the tomes of Soviet dissident literature and Roman history aside to bring you this humble article.

And we kick off with highlights of SmackDown! getting shut down at WWE Homecoming! The Power is Back !

Who does Eric Bischoff think he is, keeping a wrestling god from wrestling on RAW? By golly, somebody’s going to pay …. and his name is Edge. JBL and Mysterio unite against the invading RAW heathen and take the fight to Monday nights … but will RAW alter the home turf yet again tonight? Find out!

The Peep Show

Christian has something he’s wanted to say since Monday night, but Rey Mysterio hits the ring before he can even get it out of his mouth!

Yes, he took the fight to RAW this past Monday, but don’t anyone think he’s satisfied with the nominal success he and JBL enjoyed earlier this week …. He won’t be satisfied til he’s wrestling at Taboo Tuesday! RAW disrespected SD! and for that, he’s going to make “those two monkeys” Edge & Masters pay.

Christian notes that the above is real tough talk, considering the RAW stars are halfway across the globe in the Continent of Oceana. If the SD! fans want a real contender against RAW, they should vote for …

Matt Hardy!! This issue is ”so personal” for him … Edge wants to criticise the net? No, those are the people that brought Matt Hardy back to the dance, and they’ll be the folks that vote him to face E & M at TT ….

Bob Holly! Hardcore’s not convinced that Matt is really capable of the job .. and the doesn’t care about the internet either … he cares about the people …. RIGHT HERE IN SAN FRANCISCO, CA!

Christian interrupts Holly’s cheap pop tactics and gets shouted down .. boooo!

Bob promises a “hardcore beating” should he be elected ….

JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD!! Michael Cole doesn’t agree with a lot that JBL does, but man, he was impressed with the pride and conniving ingenuity Layfield exhibited this past Monday evening on RAW. JBL’s distraught at all the cheap talk by the peeps in the ring … Matt Hardy, all he does is whine …. Christian? Well I have a talk show too! … Holly? Who cares? The SmackDown! team wouldn’t be complete without ….. A WRESTLING GOD!

Christian: “no, no! you’re a wrestling FRAUD! I hate keep getting interrupted on my show, so …

TEDDY LONG! He’s out to give each of these five gentlemen a reason for the fans to vote for them and here’s how … a quintuple threat match …… RIGHT NOW!@

Match #1: Quintuple Threat Match: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. ‘Hardcore’ Bob Holly vs. ‘Captain Charisma’ Christian

Lots of brawling to start as JBL gets pinwheeled out of the ring; Hardy with a whip to Christian and Mysterio with a leap over neckbreaker! Hardy breaks up the pin, only to slam Christian into the SW corner, as he and Mysterio commence the double team anew ….. Poetry in Motion by Mysterio! Cover by Matt … save by Rey! Meanwhile, Hardcore and JBL brawl on the outside, with Layfield chucking Bob into the steel steps!

Rey gets the ten punch on Christian on the corner as Cole puts over SD!’s recent Friday Night ratings, and JBL’s in the ring! Powerbomb on Re …… no! Mysterio hurricanranas out over the top rope! Big back body drop by Holly on Charisma now, with numerous cheaps resounding across Christian’s chest and throughout the arena. Hardy comes into the fray now, dropping an elbow on Holly for a deuce.

Hardcore fights back with some punches ……. SIDE EFFECT! Layfield’s back in …. Punches by Hardy in the corner … no, JBL dumps Hardy! JBL now labels Holly with myriad chops and slaps in the NE corner, but here come Mysterio and Hardy! Holly turns around and slaps them both down with a double clothesline! Scorpion Death Drop by Christian and he goes up top …….

FIVE MAN SUPERPLEX – POWER BOMB STACK!@!11! Somebody’s been watching TNA lately! Christian served as the apex of our little pyramid here, with Layfield and Holly as the bases and all five men are OUT!

JBL is up first, booting Mysterio, who had gotten to his knees, …… ALABAMA SLAM by Holly to Layfield! Quintuple KO, referee Charles Robinson gets to 7 ….. Hardy lays across Christian …… 1 ….. 2 ……… 2.65!! Christian dumps Hardy and attempts to unpretty Mysterio …. No, seated hurricanrana by Rey! 619 to Christian!! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL ! on Holly!! Rey up top and he’s gunning for Layfield . cross-body .. caught!! LAST CALL@!! Here comes Matt Hardy though === TWIST OF FA ……. Countered by Layfield ….. again .. success!@! But Christian UNPRETTIES Hardy!! Rey comes flying back in now … over shoots Christian with the moonsault…….. and comes back with a STANDING DRAGONRANA@!! 1 ……… 2 ……………. 3!!!

Backstage Booker T has been summoned to the office of General Manager Theodore R. Long. Sharmell thinks perhaps Teddy just wants to congratulate him on winning the United States Championship, but somehow he doesn’t quite think so.

Inside, Teddy informs Book that his wife played an integral role in winning the championship … Sharmell is aghast, but Teddy wishes to show him the video tape. Sharmell pitches an absolute FIT, but Booker tells her to calm down, as Teddy is due the respect of his office …….

The resulting highlight package features Sharmell’s indiscretions of recent weeks, as applied to her CHEATING on behalf of Gentleman T, and …… the cat just vacated the bag.

“That doesn’t mean anything! The camera … the angles ….. “

Long tries to speak legitimately, but Sharmell favours the polemical discourse, so Booker T steps up and promises to give Chris Benoit a re-match …. Sharmell says he CANNOT do that, this Title is as much mine as it is yours. “No Sharmel, you … are gonna apologise.”

Elsewhere Rowdy Roddy Piper runs into Cowboy Bob Orton. Bob states that it was the greatest feeling in the world for him when his boy Randy RKO’d him a couple weeks back at Homecoming. Piper shoots back that the only reason Bob was even allowed in the arena back in the day is because of …. ME. He then implies that Bob ain’t too quick in the ole’ brain, and claims that evolution has been working in reverse for the Clan Orton. Randy is none too happy, and reminds Rod what happened the last time he was in the ring with a Legend ….. he went up in smoke and down in ash.

Within the Parking Garage Simon Dean is informed that possession of personal motorized vehicles will incur a fine. Dean has one such vehicle, and refuses to pay! The “traffic cop” talks smack with Dean while a couple of his buddies tie a rope to the back of Dean’s scooter, and he busts his face while trying to ride away!

The “cop” and his buddies are members of the new “Juniors” division.

Palmer Cannon stands centre-ring, and on behalf of both “the Network” and WWE SmackDown!, presents us with the division that will change Friday nights … the Juniors!

Match #2: Singles Contest: Short Sleeve Samson vs. Pitbull Patterson

Patterson brings a bucket of confetti to the ring, but gets assailed by Samson on the floor, and Samson’s GOING FOR THE HARDWARE …… a second bucket. He threatens Patterson with it, while revealing it to be filled with ….. water! Samson tries to come back, but Patterson throws a bucket atop his head and slaps him around a bit.

Patterson tosses Samson into the ring and we officially start. Shoulder thrusts by Patterson give way to a provisional nut stomp that referee Nick Patrick prevents, though Patterson runs around Patrick and …… connects on the third try!

Palmer Cannon gets on the mic and says that the Network “commissioned numerous focus groups” in advance of forming this new division …… roll up by Samson! 1 …… 2 ………. 2.67! Patterson comes back tough lariat and is GOING UP TOP …… Samson punches him in the gut on the way down, and hits a dropkick! Boot by Patterson to Samson’s face, IW attempt is reversed though, and Patterson crawls underneath Patrick’s legs …. Samson attempts a dropkick, but hits Patrick’s package instead!

Samson now does a running frog splash off Patrick’s back, and Nick counts 1, 2, 3 despite the immutable pain.

Palmer Cannon predicts a “ratings boom.”

Backstage Sharmell attempts to persuade Booker T from giving Benoit his rematch. No dice.

Booker strides on out to the ring and grabs himself a mic. He didn’t win the Championship last week fairly, and he just can’t feel right about that. Thus, he and his wife Sharmell will publicly apologise to the Rabid Wolverine himself.

Chris Benoit walks solemnly to the ring, as Sharmell appears disheveled by the entire proceeding. Chris wants to say something, but Booker cuts him off, saying he really needs to apologise. He considers Chris a close friend, and doesn’t want to see this go down this way. Chris seems touched, but Booker tells him to hold off because *looking directly at his wife* “SHE HAS SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO SAY.”

Chris says he doesn’t need an apology, but Booker retorts that he knew Chris would say that, and this is something really important to him. Sharmell gives a fru-fru insincere apology …. No, correction … she apologises for putting herself on the line for her husband. She apologises for making her husband more of a man. She apologises for helping her husband actually win. She apologises for making her husband a Champion. And most of all she apologises for marrying someone who has no respect for her! SLAPPPP!!!!! And she is OUTTA HERE!!!

Wait, one more thing ….. she deeply and sincerely apologises for ……. THIS!

BOOKER CLOCKS BENOIT with the Title!@!!! Booker mounts Benoit now, and he goes HOG WILD with the punches, busting Chris Benoit wide open. Sharmell cheers Book on, as he NAILS Benoit with a Superkick, sending him flying toward the announce table!

Booker and Sharmell are quite pleased with their work as they leave via the rampway.

Match #3: Eight Man Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Match for the Tag Team Championship of the World: LoD2005 (c) vs. The Mexicools (Super Crazy & Psychosis w/ Cruiserweight Champion of the WWE Juventud Guerrera) vs. William Regal & Paul Burchill vs. M.N.M. (Joey Mercury & Johnny Nitro w/ Melina Perez)

Nitro and Heidenreich start out, Nitro giving John some punches and a boot, though Heidenreich catches it and delivers one of his own. IW to Nitro, who kicks Heidenreich in the face and gets a tag now to Mercury. Heidenreich throws them both down to the canvas and tags in Animal, who lands a couple punches to Mercury before Nitro can come in for the save …. Double suplex by Animal! Animal now works over Mercury, though Psychosis blind tags in and beats down Mercury before Super Crazy flies in for the Moonsault!!

M.N.M. recoups on the floor, though Psychosis takes the fight right to them via a Corkscrew plancha! Back in now, and Psychosis covers for a two on Mercury; tag now to Nitro, who receives a dropkick by Psychosis; tag to Super Crazy who covers for a deuce before Animal can break up the count. Shoulder block by Nitro, though Super Crazy comes back with another dropkick and evades the resultant Nitro charge, launching him in the air with his feet! Regal tags in for Nitro now, as Burchill gets a quick tag and lands a FISHERMAN BRAINBUSTER on Super Crazy!! 1 ……. 2 …… save by Mercury!

Regal tags in for Burchill now and just regales Super Crazy with numerous punches before landing a Butterfly Suplex and tagging Burchill back in. Burchill kicks him across the ring and nails an impressive short-arm lariat for 2. IW to Crazy and Burchill hits a Back Body Drop, cover …. Broken up by Animal. Paul cinches in a rear choke on Crazy and clotheslines him down when it appeared Crazy might fight out. Facelock by Burchill …… no, Super Crazy jawbreakers out! Heidenreich blind tags his way in and takes on all comers! Punches and clotheslines all around! Sidewalk Slam to Burchill! 1 …..2 ……….. 2.42! LoD wants the Doomsday Device on Burchill ………… and those new tag team guys “James & Chad” toss Heidenreich off the top rope! Blind Tag by Mercury to Burchill …….. SNAPSHOT!@! 1 ……. 2 …………. 3!!!#!! New Tag Team Champions!!

Backstage the FBI talk up Theodore R. Long, claiming to be an “unbeatable” tag team. Long says, okay, ya’ll can be a tag team …. If you wanna face Bobby Lashley!

Long seems pleased ….. only to find the BOOGEYMAN hiding in his office. He left his heart in San Francisco apparently, though he claims to be the reflection in the mirror that Teddy will always see. Do you have the heart to stop the ever-ticking clock? He’s the boogeyman, and he’s coming to get ….. YOU!!

Elsewhere Eddie Guerrero tells Dave that if he scratches his back, then he’ll take one on the back for him. Dave reminds Eddie that this is where he originally won the WWE Championship, and he has a special surprise for him ….. Eddie reluctantly closes his eyes, only to find ….. A SWANK GREEN LOWRIDER IMPALA!! Dave declares that “Latino Heat is back,” but Eddie will only drive out to the ring in it if Dave promises to ride with him. Dave takes shotgun, and it’s on like Donkey Kong now!

Match #4: Six Man MAIN EVENT Tag Team Contest: Eddie Guerrero, Heavyweight Champion of the World Dave Batista, and ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper vs. ‘The Legend Killer’ Randy Orton, ‘Cowboy’ Bob Orton, and ‘Mr.’ Ken Kennedy

‘KEN KENNEDY FOR PRESIDENT’ sign, ahaha

Piper looks like a man deranged and tosses his belt at Cowboy Bob.

Crowd chants “Rowdy,” though Kennedy and Guerrero start this one off, with Guerrero landing a couple choice chops to Kennedy’s mid-section. Scoop Slam by Guerrero and he nails the Slingshot Splash. Eddie tags in the Animal now, and Kennedy doesn’t look like he wants any of that, so he tags in the younger Orton. Randy clubs Dave in the back, though Dave comes back with rapid punches, and these two young gentleman are wearing nearly identical clothing, with perfectly identical colour patterns. Dave tackles Randy, and looks for the Demon Spawn Bomb, so Mr. RKO immediately bails.

Back in, and Dave tags to Guerrero, who falls prey to an Orton powerslam … IW to Guerrero, though he comes off the ropes and hits Orton with a tilt-a-whirl hurricanrana, and tags in Piper. Piper manhandles Orton with classic gut-punching in the SW corner and punches him a couple times in the head for good measure before dropping a right knee to Randy’s temple. IW to Piper, though, as Cowboy Bob knees Roddy in the back and Orton tags in Bob. Bob punches Piper flat in the grille, as Roddy attempts to tag in Guerrero, but instead gets nut stomped. Tag now to Kennedy who mounts Roddy with some punches and then a harsh choke .. cover, gets 2, and Kennedy cinches in a neck twisting rear chinlock. Piper fights back to his vertical base and punches out, though Kennedy gets a quick tag to Orton the Younger before RRP can get the hot tag. Reverse facelock by Orton keeps Piper immobilized, as Randy clubs him on the back a few times before tagging in ole Pappy, Orton the Elder. Bob locks in a reverse face lock of his own, just to show Randy how it’s done and attempts to cheapshot Dave & Eddie, who completely no-sell!

They just sort of look at each other like “well, okay,” and HIT THE RING! Dave heads straight to R. Orton and GOES TO TOWN, whilst Eddie forces Kennedy to endure the TRES AMIGOS! MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSSTA!!@! to both Randy and Kennedy! Eddie’s feeling froggy …… AND HITS THE SPLASH ON KENNEDY! Bob now slinks up the ropes, only to find a trio of doom facing him in the ring …… and Piper locks in the DREADED SLEEPER HOLD ……Orton looks gone …. Arm raise I … nothing! Arm raise II ……. Nothing! Arm raise III ……… IT’S OVER, IT’S ALL OVER@!! Piper wins it for the good guys! Good night everybody!