The Smackdown Breakdown 10.07.05

WWE Smackdown — 10/7/05

From Austin, Texas.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

We open with the chaos surrounding Smackdown’s attempt to have a match on Raw.

Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon join us to announce that the six-man is still on for tonight. Cannon grabs the mic and says that he’s proud of what Smackdown did to Raw. Teddy challenges Bischoff to start something at No Mercy. Randy Orton and Bob Orton Jr. interrupt. Randy has a new nWo takeoff shirt. Randy takes credit for embarrassing Raw. He tells Randy and Palmer to get out of his ring. Palmer calls Randy the future and tells him to take as long as he likes to say whatever he wants. Randy tells Taker to watch as he makes an example of another legend. Roddy Piper interrupts them and beats them up with a baton.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

Sharmell introduces her man. Jockeying to start. OJ shoves Booker to the corner and gives him a stiff shot to take the early advantage. An elbow gets two. OJ stops to pose allowing Booker to chop his way back. OJ pokes him in the eyes and gets two off a running elbow. Booker makes the big comeback with a shoulderblock. Booker slips over OJ’s shoulder but takes a clothesline that spins him inside-out. Booker gets a reverse kick to quell the momentum. Orlando is about to suplex Booker from the apron, but Sharmell reaches in and trips him up again, putting Booker on top for the win at 3:53. 3/4*

Well-dressed Ken Kennedy comes out to play guest commentator for the next match.

Hardcore Holly vs. Sylvan

Sylvan just has the one name now. This is like “America’s Top Model” only not as crazy and violent. Sylvan is sporting a black eye from Holly’s right hand. That’s a bold statement, but I think he can pull it off. Sylvan attacks from behind, but Holly’s tougher ‘n shoe leather. Kennedy references Sparky Plugg. Tazz and Kennedy go off on a riff where they come up with nicknames for Michael Cole. Kennedy and Holly get into an argument that ends when Holly shoves Kennedy on his ass. Back in the ring, Holly signals for the Alabama Slam, but Kennedy distracts him and hits him in the head with the microphone. Sylvan finishes with a brain buster at 2:53. 1/2*

Roddy Piper, who is still on drugs apparently, goes off on Bob Orton Jr..

The Legion of Doom (w/Christy Hemme) vs. William Regal & Paul Burchill.

I think Christy has finally found her niche. She’s like Sunny without the mic skills. Get her an LOD outfit, dammit. Burchill tries a front facelock on Animal, but Animal tosses him through the air. Regal tries the same tack with about the same success. Burchill snaps Animal’s neck off the top rope. The Englishmen take turns working over Animal’s arm until he backdrops Burchill and gets the tag to Heidenreich. The LOD cleans house and is about to finish Burchill with the Doomsday Device when MNM run down and break it up for the DQ at 2:22. MNM gives Christy the Snapshot to send a message. 1/2*

Eddy Guerrero comes out wearing a “Batista Unleashed” T-Shirt. He says he’s honored to be wrestling against a man he admires. We see a clip of a big staredown between Raw and Smackdown to illustrate Eddy is on Batista’s side. Eddy promises they’ll be friends even after their match. Batista comes out wearing a matching shirt. Eddy pumps up the crowd for the champ. Batista shows a clip of Eddy “accidentally” hitting him with a chair last week. He even hands him a chair in case Eddy wants to do it again. Eddy is shocked, SHOCKED I SAY, to hear that Batista thinks he did that on purpose. Eddy says he thought Batista was his soul mate. Batista says he learned to grow eyes in the back of his head from dealing with Triple H. Wow, character depth? He warns Eddy not to screw him, or he’ll get hurt. Eddy promises his friend a little taste.

The Raw Rebond: Someone’s going to get fired for all those Stunners. Who? Why Stone Cold’s good buddy Jim Ross, of course. Plus, HHH turned on Ric Flair in an angle that gets trotted out every year for HHH or Flair. This time it makes sense, though, thanks to all those times Flair tagged with Hunter’s mortal nemesis Shawn Michaels.

Handicap Match: Randy Orton & Bob Orton Jr. vs. Roddy Piper.

Piper takes off the kilt but thankfully keeps the shirt on. He goes right after Randy and pokes him in the eyes. Bob keeps him busy while Randy gets a blind tag and jumps Roddy from behind. Randy dismantles the Scotsman and lets Daddy come in to get him some. The Undertaker bell rings, though, distracting Bob Jr. long enough for Roddy to roll him up in a surprise small package for the win. The druids roll down an extra large casket with Randy and Dad inside. Randy and Bob are so freaked that they don’t see the Undertaker appear behind them. Taker scares them all the way to the back. Did Randy piss someone off backstage? I cannot imagine a worse way to build up this feud. You always, always keep the heel strong going into the big match no matter who’s going over. That way, the suspense is how the babyface is going to overcome these odds, or if he doesn’t, it shows how awesome this heel is giving him momentum for his next feud. 1/4*

Bobby Lashley vs. Eddie Craven.

E-mail is running about 50/50 on whether Lashley is more like Monty Brown or Ahmed Johnson. Now that I look at him, though, he reminds me more of Tony Atlas. Simon Dean rides out on the “Dean Machine.” He complains about Lashley “taking away his strength advantage” at No Mercy by breaking his hand. Dean offers to do squats during the match. Lashley is distracted at first, but he catches Craven in a Fireman’s Carry and matches Dean squat-for-squat while still carrying Craven. Lashley delivers a double-underhook belly-to-belly suplex and finishes with the Dominator at 1:27. 1/4*

So we have:

World Title: Batista vs. Eddy Guerrero
U.S. Title, Fatal-Fourway: Chris Benoit vs. Booker T vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Christian
Handicap Casket Match: Randy Orton & Bob Orton Jr vs. the Undertaker
Intergender Six-Person: LOD w/Christy vs. MNM w/Melina
Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly
Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean
Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

I think Nunzio vs. Juvi is also on there, but I didn’t see it advertised.

Six-Man Tag: Batista, Chris Benoit & Rey Mysterio vs. Eddy Guerrero, John Bradshaw Layfield & Christian (w/Jillian Hall).

We JIP to Christian and Benoit jockeying for position. Benoit shoulderblocks him down and knocks him down with a chop. A snap suplex sets up the Crippler Crossface, but Christian makes the ropes. Benoit calls for Eddy to get in. Eddy and Benoit actually do some wrestling. Eddy gets a nice roll into a headscissors. Too bad the draft broke up the Smackdown Six. Batista tags in drawing a big pop for Batista vs. Guerrero. Eddy gets a quick single leg, but Batista kicks him away. Eddy grabs a go-behind waistlock, but Batista forces out of it and press slams Eddy to Eddy’s corner. Eddy tags JBL, which doesn’t set well with Bradshaw. Batista tags in Rey Mysterio, who gets pounded immediately following his entry. He dropkicks Bradshaw’s knee and gets a modified version of the throwback. Eddy distracts Rey long enough for JBL to knock him off the apron. We come back from break to Christian hitting a press gut buster on Mysterio and holding him I an abdominal stretch. Bradshaw tags back in and hits a swinging neckbreaker. A floatover suplex gets two. Eddy doesn’t want to tag in very badly, so JBL tags him in anyway. Eddy goes nuts on Rey but falls victim to a bulldog. Batista gets the hot tag and spears the hell out of Batista. Bradshaw boots him on a charge and goes for the Clothesline from Hell, but Eddy yanks the ropes down, saving Batista. Batista catches Christian coming off the top rope and finishes him with a spinebuster. Eddy celebrates with the winning team. After the match, JBL and Christian attack Eddy, but Batista makes the save. **1/4

Final Thoughts: Smackdown is just kind of there right now. I actually do like the Guerrero/Batista feud, but I hold absolutely no hope of Eddy winning, so I’m not really excited for the match. Orton will likely move into the challenger spot for Survivor Series, but he’s looked so foolish the last month that it will be interesting to see how the fans react to him. At least some of the young guys have added some energy to the roster.

See you Sunday.

J.D. Dunn