The Wrestling Sandwich 11.26.11

The conspiracy continues, folks. I just checked the spotlight section after I was done publishing the column and you know what I found? Wrestling spotlight was taken by that damnable podcast, the post of that damnable podcast, a review of a five-year-old PPV, a news report, and now a reminder to join us for the Survivor Series results as if you’d go anywhere else! I will tell you, if you think that everything other than the Sandwich being spotlighted isn’t a conspiracy you probably watch Alex Jones and think he’s a genius. This is a REAL conspiracy! Well, they can keep me off the spotlight because we’re too controversial here but in the end, everybody knows that Kirk and DeMarco carry this place on the weekends! There’s really no doubting that. But, I will shut up and settle for a nice Christmas bonus! Nice meaning at least four digits people, we don’t go cheap on Christmas.

Survivor Series saw possibly one of the greatest return pops in history when The Rock walked out to compete live on PPV. The following night, CM Punk cut another great promo when he discussed how it isn’t a WWE Universe but they are fans, and that this isn’t sports entertainment but instead it is wrestling. The worst part, though, was when he talked about how predictable and boring the product has become and guess what? They had Laurinitis come out and do everything as predictable as possible. The people wanted Ryder and Ziggler for the US title, and they didn’t get it. They wanted Punk/ADR last RAW, they didn’t get it. CM Punk is a refreshing change of pace, but the fact is it is obvious WWE management are out of touch because they allow Punk to say things that are wrong and do nothing to fix it. The fact is, what is over right now would be worked-shoot comments, The Rock, CM Punk, and the whole “Attitude” era style, and the only thing that is getting results ratings and buyrate wise as well. CM Punk hates The Rock for being so aloof to the wrestlers backstage, but frankly put Rock deserves to do as he damn well pleases because nobody right now can draw the same as The Rock. Punk, however, continues to be somebody we can all admire out of the ring and in the ring as a good role model; He speaks his mind, he doesn’t give in to peer pressure, and he bangs a lot of hot women. Can you ask for more?

A few of the comments last week made me laugh, mostly the political ones. You asked about how Obama was the worst President ever and I will post the proof next week because it was too large for this edition. It appears people will do absolutely anything to avoid admitting they made a huge mistake in 2008 at all. With the failure of the super committee, we now risk downgrade yet again by the major agencies depending mainly on if we even bother to adhere to the guaranteed cuts or try and remove the cuts within the next two years. With a proposed spending bill the next decade of $45.1 TRILLION dollars in addition to the already mounting $15 trillion national debt, we’re pretty much toast in the credit department. No other President has allowed such a disgrace and a travesty to occur on his watch, not even Buchanan. The worst thing is that one billion dollars will be spent on the Failed One’s re-election campaign, which is enough to pay the average American yearly salary of $30,000 for 3,333 people and have some left over.

One man’s re-election campaign running on failure and class division or feeding 3,333 people for a year… I know where I’d want the money to go. But enough depressing news, let us move on to the wrestling news and stories of the week!

Top Stories of the Week!

1. Weekly Ratings Roundup

TNA Impact – 1.15 rating, averaging 1.6 million viewers – slightly down from 1.23 last week.
WWE Smackdown – 1.99 rating, averaging 2.9 million viewers – slightly up from 1.95 last week
WWE RAW – 3.24 rating, average of 4.7 million viewers – down from last week

I didn’t notice anybody talking about Impact being up against the Broncos/Jets game which drew record viewing numbers and still pulled a normal rating for their show, but they did point out gleefully in the 411 news post about it being the lowest rating since October 27th which was three weeks ago. Point? How about pointing out what RAW scored three weeks ago? Oh, sorry, we don’t want to mention THAT.

…By the way it was a 2.8!

Impact went down very slightly, and slightly up or down means under 0.1 change. Smackdown rose 0.04 which as we all now know is four-hundredths of a Nielsen point (referencing the decimal debacle in an earlier Sandwich where people forgot how to count decimals) and RAW dropped a full 0.1 and a little extra to settle at 3.24 for the week which is a bit disappointing considering Survivor Series was the night before. The Rock continues to be the main and only reason anybody tunes in to the WWE judging by the buyrates and the ratings.

We just obtained WWE buyrates for the last two PPV’s before Survivor Series, actually, when I was set to publish this article and here we go:

WWE Buyrate News:
Hell in a Cell – 180,000 buys
Vengeance – 142,000 buys

Both shows were down from last year.

Chalk this up in the obvious category. The shows were booked too close together with too high of a price tag, what the hell did you expect? Vengeance actually has a pretty low number, close to the all-time low but not quite there yet. I’d expect Survivor Series to do around 300k or so, maybe 350k although if it goes less than 300k Vince would have to be very concerned.

Nothing new from Australia! Still waiting on that to be resolved.

UK Ratings

TNA Impact – 197,000 viewers (up from estimates)
TNA Bound For Glory – 186,000 viewers (up from estimates)
WWE Smackdown – 124,000 viewers (up from last week)
WWE RAW – 116,000 viewers (down from last week)

Sorry kids, numbers don’t lie. Apparently Smackdown seems to be the preferred show across the pond, and RAW continues its downward descent in the US and in the UK. Impact continues to do extremely well and blame the time, the channel, the paid/free status, the clouds, Dixie Carter, earthquakes, climate “change” or whatever those morons are claiming it is now, and everything else you want but it won’t change facts. In fact the post this came from actually had quite the bias to it and I’ll deal with that in a later section in the news.

Bound For Glory gets 186,000 viewers in the UK, so I’d tend to think in America it probably did better than most people want to think it did. This is what I mean by not having all the facts available to make the proper estimate with TNA. Either way, UK IS TNA for the 30th week this year.

2. TNA Impact Quick Recap

1. TNA Tag Team Championship: Matt Morgan and Crimson retain over Mexican America when both men double choke slam Anarquia and Crimson scores the pinfall. *1/2
2. Thanksgiving Thong Thunder: Velvet Sky, Brooke Tessmacher, and Tara defeat Madison Rayne, Winter, and Angelina Love when Velvet pinned Madison after the double underhook sitout Pedigree she does way better than HHH. FIFTY BILLION *****!!!!
3. Turkey Suit Match: Eric Young defeated Robbie E. when Robbie was caught using a weapon, the match was restarted, and Young pinned Robbie with the piledriver. Robbie T. ended up wearing the turkey suit to save his partner from being stripped of the title. *
4. Elimination Match: Team Storm defeated Team Angle (both men were captains but not participants) ***1/2
Elimination #1: Robert Roode pinned Mr. Anderson after a Bully Ray urunage
Elimination #2: Robert Roode is disqualified for a low blow against AJ Styles
Elimination #3: Christopher Daniels pinned RVD when Angle tossed RVD off the top rope
Elimination #4: Jeff Hardy eliminated Christopher Daniels with the Twist of Fate
Elimination #5: Jeff Hardy eliminated Jeff Jarrett with a roll-up
Elimination #6: AJ Styles eliminates Bully Ray with a superman forearm and the win for his team
SURVIVORS: AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy

Best Booking of the Night: THANKSGIVING THONG THUNDER!

Worst Booking of the Night: Turkey Suit Turmoil – Why not force Robbie E. to wear the suit even if he’s unconscious? Warrior did it with the weasel suit to Heenan!

Honestly, I can say that there were some excellent moments and most of them provided by the sight of the TNA Knockouts performing in lingerie, especially Winter who has some serious hotness going. Velvet and Madison should have worn far less, but overall the match was fun and something I really hope is done around Thanksgiving every year, the storyline being that the girls hate doing it as part of a wrestling division but the ones like Brooke who do model don’t mind doing it at a different job, because they want to be taken seriously here. Makes sense, considering sometimes we do things at home we wouldn’t do at work! If you are a red-blooded male or a red-blooded lesbian female, you probably enjoyed the match. If you aren’t, you’ll probably bitch about the match and frankly get over yourselves because the Knockouts are the top rated segments anyway. Oh and how much time did they get to wrestle? 13 minutes. Women’s wrestling lives in TNA.

Jeff Jarrett’s imitation of Hardy would have been even better if he stumbled around and then acted like he was high while slurring his accent on the mic. I knew when he was wearing that stupid mask and holding his hoodie it was Jarrett doing an imitation and I was right! I think JJ did a good job overall, and making Hardy look good is not easy these days but he’s so easy to hate he knows just how to push the buttons.

Angle and Storm are still a bit away from being cleared for competition, but they got a little physical although nothing totally unsafe for them. Angle is obviously a lot more ready to compete than Storm considering the concussion, but Storm should be ready to go very soon if not this week since he’s been showing he’s got all his faculties about him thus far. Roode and AJ in a 30-minute match next month might steal the whole damn show!

3. 411 Showing Massive Anti-TNA Bias in News Section

A deeply troubling situation is occurring on this site and I thought I’d at least address it here so that hopefully people will do something about it.

Now, I don’t have an issue with people in the news reports and columns bashing TNA as much because it is mostly opinion and analysis and it doesn’t have anything to do with hard news. But when the hard news stories start to be posted with incomplete information or even flat out lies, that’s when the reporting takes a trip to MS-NBC territory.

Earlier this week there was several posts that made me stop and wonder if this just appeared on 411 or a WWE sponsored site. Firstly, we have the TNA South American tour information:

“According to Dave Meltzer, TNA has announced that that their South American tour has been canceled. The Buenos Aires show was announced for Monday had already been canceled, and now the Santiago, Chile show has been canceled. TNA says that the event organizers did not fulfill their contractual obligations to TNA, and have told fans who have tickets to apply for refunds at the point of purchase.”

Obviously, the phrasing is such that indicates TNA can’t sell an event in South America. This same news story fails to mention WWE business in that same region is the only geographical region that went down overall for 2011 in their quarterly reports! WWE AND TNA both are not doing well with that area, not just TNA. But, this is fine compared to the next one that ended up on the site:

“From Ian Hamilton and Pwinsider.com:

TNA:
Bound For Glory drew 186,000 viewers on a three-day tape delay (with no replays, save for the Challenge +1 timeshift channel – something that is really annoying, given that Impact gets a replay!)

As for Impact, looking at the first airings only (3 days after the US):

September 15 – no rating (would mean 114,000 viewers or less)
September 22 – 141,000
September 19 – 137,000 (-4,000 viewers)
October 6 – 184,000 (+47,000)
October 13 – 169,000 (-15,000)
October 20 – 147,000 (-22,000)
October 27 – 191,000 (+44,000)
November 3 – 197,000 (+6,000)

Quite a fluctuation here; Impact fell off a cliff in mid September, leading to them not appearing on Challenge’s top ten for what I think would be the first time since they moved onto the station earlier in 2011. The viewership did recover, before dropping off before Bound For Glory, although the post-BFG stuff with Roode and Storm looks to have helped the show back to some good ratings.”

Do you know what you call the above paragraph ladies and gentlemen? Bullshit.

The obviously anti-TNA comments aside, the entire piece fails to mention the most crucial and important piece of information that results in the ratings being lowered for several weeks. Do you know WHY the show seemed to go off a cliff for September? Well, I guess I have to do that job too:

THEY DROPPED BECAUSE TNA WENT TO A LATE EVENING TIME SLOT IN SEPTEMBER!

The show was moved several times, originally airing on Saturdays. Then it was moved to Tuesday in a late night death slot. Shortly after, it got moved again to Sunday. Currently, it airs between 21:00 and 23:00 hours, which translates to the 9-11 pm EST time slot… but there is one problem. UK is five hours ahead, so therefore it actually airs from 4-6 PM in the evening. Do you know how I found this out?

I did some fucking research!

The listings are available in various online United Kingdom newspapers and websites. That information was obtained from The Guardian for listings scheduled on November 27th, 2011, which would be one day after this column, is published. So what did we learn here tonight?

WWE will always be painted in a more positive light than its competition in the hard news section.

The bias is honestly getting ridiculous as TNA’s competition is not mentioned in the ratings but WWE is always mentioned in the best possible light “despite” competition. The news section is starting to resemble a WWEUNIVERSE.COM chat room more than a responsible news section because people aren’t doing their homework and people more importantly aren’t noticing these incredibly biased reviews… I mean, in a hard news section you post that Impact is falling off a cliff without noting the cause? Great journalism there. I’m an opinion columnist, that’s my opinion, and I hope the news section shapes the hell up because the only time that garbage belongs on the page it should be in a column or news report ONLY. 411 was once named one of the only two wrestling websites worth visiting by ESPN.COM and it is time for the news section to once again reflect the greatness of the era when that label was bestowed upon us by ESPN.

4. Matt Hardy Will…NOT…QUIT DRUGS!

More sad news this week as it turns out our friend and perennial IWC punching bag Matt Hardy started off the news cycle by tweeting himself and his current ring rat naked together on top of one another which led people to wonder exactly what she sees in this guy. Apparently, she’s still thinking because Hardy was kicked out of the rehabilitation program due to relapsing already!

Hardy was acting suspiciously at the center, and the staff gave him a Breathalyzer analysis. He failed it, and blamed it on just brushing his teeth and using mouthwash. Obviously another excuse, and it didn’t work as the staff kicked him out seeing he wasn’t serious. Matt may face imprisonment on a million dollar bond for not complying with the treatment he agreed to with his deal the last time he was in front of a judge.

Predictably, he got arrested as well. When he returned to North Carolina, he was arrested due to his removal from the facility as the court order only allowed him to be released in mandatory rehab that WWE offered to pay for. If he failed rehab, he went back into custody. Violating a court order is the newest charge added to the litany of charges and it appears that he’s headed toward the inside of a jail cell for some time.

So Reby then goes and tweets about how horrible things are. Well sweetheart, when you sleep with a loser this is what ends up happening to you! But that’s all right guys; if she’d date Matt she’ll date anybody.

5. Sin Cara Injured At Survivor Series

As you probably already know Sin Cara has suffered a severe injury to his knee and therefore will be out an estimated 6-9 months which means he’ll miss most of next year as well as the rest of this year. HHH’s first international signing botched an over the top rope move that is considered basic in Lucha Libre and this is not the first time his botching has injured either himself or others.

Frankly, the decision to rush him onto the main roster was a mistake. HHH also should have actually bothered to know the type of guy he was dealing with, but he was in such a hurry to make a big name signing he didn’t realize what he was really doing. After the constant botching, you would think that would be enough to make a quick change. Instead, they pushed him harder and he got suspended for Wellness. He came back to a mild feud with Hunico and after unmasking him, goes down out of action again with an injury. Most people believe at this point his career is finished in WWE but given the fact HHH signed him, you just never know.

The Sandwich predicted that HHH’s on-air role, his signing of Sin Cara, and the Kharma signing would all end badly and so far it looks to be on course for a 100% correct score.

6. Little Jimmy Got R-Truth

Apparently it was R-Truth who got GOT, because he now joins the rising ranks of the Wellness violators in WWE, which explains why he was simply taken out with the Skull Crushing Finale on RAW. R-Truth is in his first violation of the Wellness policy and he’ll be out for thirty days, which means he joins the ranks of others who committed infractions this year such as Mike Chioda, Heath Slater, Evan Bourne, Sin Cara, Andy Leavine, Darren Young, and of course the Jimmy Uso drunk driving incident. I think at this point WWE might want to evaluate exactly why these infractions are occurring and more importantly just how widespread the problem is. R-Truth should know a lot better, being around 40 years old and having competed in the WWE in the past as K-Kwik before being given a chance as a main eventer from time to time, including Survivor Series with The Miz against Rock and Cena.

Now, the real question should be when the test result was discovered and if R-Truth was allowed to work Survivor Series despite failing the test. That would be a rather interesting read.

Smartest Thing of the Week: Drawing Fans On Thanksgiving

TNA knows that their top rated segment each week usually involves the Knockouts and has for some time. Whatever reason it may be, people seem to take a piss break during the male wrestling matches and tune in during the female wrestling matches! So, TNA had to tape another show for Thanksgiving when they knew a lot of people would probably be home and watching unless they had to go in early for Black Friday at work, but most people would be home and looking forward to a decent show. Those people tuning in got beautiful women in lingerie rolling around the wrestling ring. On the surface it looks like they are obviously pulling in men to watch the show, but frankly it is a good business move! Thanksgiving ratings are usually down, so they are trying to minimize the damage by having the show contain talented women who happen to be quite hot. The elimination match also drew in fans because like last year, TNA is focusing on delivering what fans want to see. There was an elimination match last year because people LIKE these style of matches and they did a better job than WWE did too! The teams made sense and the match was very good, and given 19:30 to go with ON FREE TV. That’s just cool and a good move by TNA to make more people want to tune in on Thanksgiving.

Dumbest Thing of the Week: The People Have Spoken But WWE Won’t Listen

Think about what actually happened on RAW when CM Punk and Johnny Ace went back and forth verbally. Punk said that the fans wanted to see a US title match between Ryder and Ziggler and a title rematch between himself and Alberto Del Rio. The fans chanted, cheered, and indicated total satisfaction with the ideas. Then, Ace comes out and instead decides to job out Ryder when he could have won the US title from Ziggler, and put Punk and Ziggler in the ring in a match for no titles. While the Punk/Ziggler match was very good, the fans wanted to see the matches Punk laid out in the beginning of the show. The problem is nobody seems to be very good at listening to what the fans want, and McMahon showed on the conference call he still has no clue what was so special about the Money In The Bank show. They asked for ice cream bars, they asked for specific matches, they demanded Ryder get a US title shot and so far the people haven’t gotten what they want. Why do you think the ratings and buyrates are dropping, geniuses?

OLD SCHOOL WRESTLER OF THE WEEK

Mr. Fuji

Just about everybody who watched wrestling in the 1980’s and early 1990’s knows who Mr. Fuji is. One of the most interesting and diabolical managers, he was also a good performer in the ring and former multi-time tag team champion as well. With the trademark tuxedo and bowler hat, Mr. Fuji would often assault the opponents of his men with a brown or black cane repeatedly on the outside of the ring to help give them and advantage. Fuji was also known for his salt throwing technique right in the eyes, and sometimes would even step in the ring out of retirement for one or two matches alongside his stable. Let us take a look at the career of the devious one himself, Mr. Fuji!

Henry Fujiwara debuted in his home state of Hawaii on December 15, 1965 as Mr. Fujiwara, which is his real name. Along with Curtis Iaukea, he captured the NWA Hawaii Tag Titles as his first championship and would move on to the NWA Pacific Wrestling held in Don Owen’s territory of Portland, Oregon with a shortening of his name to Mr. Fuji.

After winning championships such as the NWA Pacific Northwest Wrestling Heavyweight Championship, NWA Pacific Northwest Tag Championship four times with two partners, NWA San Francisco US Title, NWA Southeastern Tag Team Championship among others, Mr. Fuji headed to the WWWF as a heel and joined up with Professor Toru Tanaka as a tag team. Known as “The Devious One” for his ring psychology and Tanaka backing it up with his pure strength and brutality, Fuji would often use the salt in the eyes technique to take people down and out for the pin. The duo defeated Chief Jay Strongbow and Sonny King for their first title of WWWF Tag Team Champions on June 27, 1972. The two would also end up fighting with Bruno Sammartino and Pedro Morales for the gold, and Fuji would lose a match against WWWF Champion Pedro Morales due to a count-out. Their reign of eleven months continues as the third-longest tag title reign in the WWWF history books and dropped the gold to Tony Garea and the gigantic Haystacks Calhoun on May 30, 1973.

September 11, 1973 was the date the two would regain the WWWF Tag Titles, going on to feud with Garea and his new partner Dean Ho. The two never regained the gold against them, and left the WWWF shortly thereafter to various territories for competition. On September 19, 1975 the team defeated Tony Garea and Dean Ho of all people in a tag team tournament held by NWA Georgia to take home the NWA Georgia tag team championships. In a month, they would lose the belts to Bob Backlund and Jerry Brisco before going to even more territories before returning in 1977 to the WWWF with Classy Freddie Blassie as their manager.

For the third time, Tanaka and Fuji became tag champions by defeating Larry Zbyzsko and Tony Garea in the finals of a tag team tournament and dropped the belts against Dino Bravo and Dominic DeNucci on March 14, 1978 on the television show Championship Wrestling before leaving the territory again. This time they would win various belts around 1979 to 1981, and also stopped teaming together to persue singles careers. Fuji would end up becoming a champion in the World Wrestling Council, NWA New Zealand, and Maple Leaf Wrestling.

Fuji returned to the WWF in 1981, this time teaming up with a brand new partner in Mr. Saito and picked up Captain Lou Albano as their manager. Once again Tony Garea would end up a victim of Fuji, as he and Rick Martel would lose the belts to the two on October 17, 1981. The Strongbows would challenge and defeat them for the gold in the summer of 1982 before regaining them again shortly, and then lost on October 30. Saito left the WWF and Fuji continued to compete as a singles competitor although he wouldn’t find any significant success in the ring after the tag team days were over.

In 1985, Fuji retired from the actual in-ring competition to become a manager, where he would get his greatest fame. Fuji would use the salt throwing against the opponents of his men, such as his first client George “The Animal” Steele, before Steele turned face and left Fuji. Don Muraco was the second man Fuji would recruit, and Muraco as we all know would go on to become the Intercontinental Champion and also starred in several comedy segments such as Fuji Vice (and yes, later in the column I’m posting Fuji Vice!) to show Muraco’s talents off. Ricky Steamboat competed with both Fuji and Muraco, pinning Fuji on several occasions and Fuji would pick up Jim Neidhart’s contract for a brief period before selling that one off to Jimmy Hart.

Fuji’s most famous tag team came when he purchased the contracts of Demolition in 1987 from Johnny V. and brought Killer Khan and Sika of the Wild Samoans back to the WWF under his tutelage. Demolition rather handily became the tag team champions at WrestleMania IV thanks to the interference of Mr. Fuji and became the longest reigning tag team champions thus far, but mid-way through the title reign Fuji dropped Demolition in favor of the Powers of Pain. This turned out to be a massive mistake as Demolition beat the hell out of the Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji as well during WrestleMania V with the tag titles on the line in a 3-on-2-handicap match, Fuji losing to Ax. For a brief time, the Powers of Pain were split up before selling the contracts to Slick and Bobby Heenan for The Warlord and The Barbarian, respectively. Now, Fuji brought in the Orient Express in its original incarnation of Pat Tanaka and Akio Sato. The Express feuded with the Rockers and also Demolition’s business with the Legion of Doom before Fuji reunited with Demolition briefly, and when Demolition was out of the WWF the Orient Express took on the Legion of Doom to little success. Fuji also brought The Berserker to the WWF that didn’t do very much for him either.

In November 1992, Fuji became the manager of the newcomer Yokozuna and managed him to victory at the 1993 Royal Rumble, which earned Yokozuna a title shot against Bret Hart. In the famous WrestleMania IX showdown Yokozuna beat the Hitman thanks to Fuji’s cheating with the salt, and Fuji now managed the WWF Champion but in as long as it took me to type that out, Hulk Hogan came to the ring and Yokozuna challenged him for the belt right then and there, which Hogan accepted and won just as fast. Later, Hogan would lose to Yokozuna at King of the Ring 1993 before departing for a break and then WCW. It was while managing Yokozuna that Fuji would wear a ceremonial kimono and shave his head bald while carrying the Japanese flag, changing his famous look completely. Fuji also brought Crush back into the fold when he turned on Randy Savage, although that didn’t ultimately help Crush very much.

When Yokozuna fired Jim Cornette and became a fan favorite during March 1996, Fuji came with him to do battle against Camp Cornette at WrestleMania XII, but left the company shortly thereafter for a well deserved retirement. In 1997 he actually sued the makers of the WCW vs. nWo World Tour over the character “Master Fuji” which was actually based more on Yoshiaki Fujiwara, but The Devious One ended up winning a decent settlement anyway. Fuji would go on to manage a training dojo for several years in Tennessee but would close up shop in 2001.

Mr. Fuji would be inducted into the Hall of Fame on March 31, 2007 by Don Muraco and was seen in a wheelchair, although that was due to nine knee surgeries at the time and Fuji reportedly can still walk on his own. During the Miz and Morrison tag team days, they would often use their Dirt Sheet segment to highlight the great Mr. Fuji and his evil laugh, and throw salt in the eyes of a victim before playing Fuji’s laugh to the audience. Supposedly, Mr. Fuji visited the Palace of Wisdom and he also was featured in WWE Magazine with some various film reviews.

Perhaps the time will come soon when Mr. Fuji will return to the WWE for a one-off appearance during an Old School show or special occasion, and I’d advise everybody in attendance to purchase a pair of goggles or other eye protection for when that occurs. After all, Mr. Fuji was very diabolical and as you can see in the below footage, also a gifted actor in Fuji Vice!

Take 5

Wrestler To Watch: CM Punk

Once again, CM Punk has made it to the top of the mountain in WWE by defeating Alberto Del Rio by submission at Survivor Series and now is poised to potentially become a big deal at WrestleMania depending on how things work. Although we won’t get to see Punk take on The Rock which would be a good match and epic promo work, we do get the satisfaction of knowing that Punk is helping the WWE see the proper path to take. Punk has surpassed Cena as the top merchandise seller in the company, and all indications are that the fresh new “change” Punk espouses so often is exactly what is needed in the WWE to revive the interest and buzz that the company had around Money in the Bank. The question is whether or not they will put enough trust in Punk to allow him to change things up and make the WWE Championship fun again as he says he will. The funny thing? His booking of RAW with Punk vs. ADR for the belt and Ryder vs. Ziggler for the US title was the right thing to do and pointed out as such yet they still wouldn’t do it. And as Punk himself would say he isn’t our SPORTS ENTERTAINER this week, he is our WRESTLER to watch!

Promo of the Week: Hogan Screws Up, Oh Brother!

This was before the Hogan/McMahon match nobody wanted to see at WrestleMania and well; during the promo Hogan loses his train of thought and, well, really starts screwing up. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens to even the best of us and this was the Hogan OOPS! moment and notice how quickly Hogan tries to turn things around to get McMahon in the ring rather than continue the promo. So anybody out there quick to jump on anybody for making a mistake has to remember that even somebody considered one of the more charismatic guys in wrestling can screw up from time to time, it happens! When it happens week after week that’s a different story but for now, let us see if Hogan can find the words to tell McMahon he was the right… uh, the right… well, let me tell you SOMETHING WHEN I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY BROTHER!

Babe To Watch: Angelina Love

I could count the number of really good female wrestlers on one hand, and most of them would end up belonging under contract to TNA. Angelina Love is one of those girls who just seems to have everything a company could want in that she is very hot, athletic, charismatic, and flexible enough to play different roles and gimmicks as called for. The multi-time Knockouts champion also formed perhaps the greatest female faction ever with The Beautiful People alongside my favorite Knockout Velvet Sky and is an accomplished champion in TNA, having left WWE developmental because they pretty much wanted her to be a generic interchangeable diva. Angelina is her own woman and as you can see, just too beautiful to be a “diva” so she had to become a Knockout!

Match of the Week To Watch: TNA Thanksgiving Thong Thunder!

…What did you expect me to use after I saw this for the week? Just watch and enjoy!

Mystery Section to Watch: 1,000 Ways To Die, 1 Epic Death!

SpikeTV often runs a show known as 1,000 Ways To Die in mini-marathons that I catch now and again because the show focuses on the 1,000 craziest, weirdest, freakiest possible ways to die that ever actually happened. I’ve become a fan of the show watching some of the most bizarre deaths possible, many of which people probably wouldn’t believe even happened if it wasn’t for police reports, testimony, and so on. If you are going to go, you might as well go big time and that’s what happened to a man in California several years ago when he literally was killed when a meteor flew through his chest! Check it out for yourself and be grateful that this particular situation is as extremely rare as it is.

The Good, The Bad, and The… WTF?

The Good

”
Remember folks! Only a $100 and Larry will fire this clown for good…

Posted By: Guest#4218 (Guest) on November 18, 2011 at 11:37 PM

Fire wes kirk!!

Posted By: Guest#8360 (Guest) on November 18, 2011 at 11:37 PM

I do not think these internet dweebs could pool enough pennies to buy a happy meal if they were even old enough too.

Posted By: guest 187 (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 06:50 AM”

They can’t. That’s why they’ve been trying this for the last five months and still can’t find the money to do it, which makes me laugh at how effective their campaign is against my article which is just one person writing and still I’m beating all of them.

“PRetty good coloumn this week Wes, loved the Move of the Week continuation and your iMpact review was balanced and insightful
It would be nice if you every buy a WWE ppv to see your own report on a WWE ppv, for comparison purposes

Posted By: Chaos Theory (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 03:46 AM”

I don’t know if I can put myself through that, Chaos. I’ve tried but in the end they say water boarding is torture, and if that’s torture what the hell do they call watching Mark Henry and Big Show wrestle? I -might- buy the Royal Rumble, and if so I’ll give a review. I feel so dirty even saying that.

”
“The Sandwich has yet to endorse anybody for the 2012 race although I wish Donald Trump were in it, and five words why I’d vote for him as the CEO of the country: Net Worth: Seven Billion Dollars.”

First of all, Forbes lists his net worth as under $3 billion so I’m not sure where you’re getting that number from. Secondly, didn’t he inherit his dad’s business/wealth (although he’s obviously done a much better job with it than Vince) and lead more than one casino into bankruptcy?

Anyway, back to wrestling: I think TNA’s booking makes sense if you look at it as a reset of the company. They wanted Roode as the heel champion but booked themselves into a bit of a corner with Angle holding the belt and just decided to get everyone in the position they wanted them in as quickly as possible so they could do the angles they wanted. Roode as a heel has instantly become the best thing on Impact.

Posted By: Howard (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 05:38 AM”

Hey Howard, thank you for writing!

Donald Trump did not actually “inherit” anywhere near what people think he did. If you read his “Art of the Deal” book that chronicles how he became a big player in the real estate market, you’ll see he began his career as a real estate mogul with $200,000 and turned it into billions. The number I gave you is from Politico in April of this year at this link. Trump is paid $1.5 million per appearance at The Learning Annex and he is paid to license his name and image to properties he does not own. The fact of the matter is that when you have money in properties the actual value fluctuates depending on who is appraising and what the market is like at the time. So, in reality, nobody really knows the value of his empire on any given day because it constantly changes. Every businessman has failures as well as successes, the thing about Trump is that he did fail a few times and then came back richer than before several times which is the true measure of character.

Absolutely agree with you on the TNA part. Roode always struck me as a good heel and he’s been able to handle working the mic with guys such as Ric Flair so there is no doubt the man has a future in the wrestling business on the main event level. I cannot wait to see the eventual Storm/Roode feud when Angle/Storm is resolved.

“I love that Joker in denile that said WWE sells out everywhere. Hey buddy I took my little couson to a SD show that was so empty they moved the people on the hard camera side over to fill in the seats. And then WWE piped in the crowd noise because I watched that episode with my cousin that week.

As Wes put it Henry doesnt draw seeing Cena and Punk after the taping draw. The WWE roster is currently boring with people forcing themselves to like someone as bori g of a character as Daniel Bryan and as goofy looking as Sheamus.

TNA is far from perfect but at least I know their characters. I literally forget someone as generic as Trent Berreta or Justin Gabriel een exist. (Yes I looked them up because I couldn’t think of more then 10 people that stands out in the WWE)

TNA does characters well even if a bit over the top like suicide or Eric Young or bad in the ring like Mexican America I at least know their gimmick know what theyre about.

Posted By: Guest#0435 (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 12:41 AM”

It is a proven fact that they do tarp off sections on the shows and they do pipe in crowd noise during NXT and Superstars since most of the people who work on those shows never get a good reaction to begin with. There was a news piece about this out a month or so ago about Smackdown being tarped off and sales disappointing the WWE, in fact they cancelled multiple house shows Smackdown was supposed to run due to low-ticket sales in the US. TNA might not have been sold out in Argentina, but when you can’t even pack people into a show with John Cena headlining it might be time to re-think things.

The roster is indeed boring and I can’t think of a worse way for Bryan to be booked than the way he is right now as “just another guy” who is getting his ass handed to him constantly. So much for the talented submission specialist, right? TNA does indeed do a good job of establishing gimmicks so everybody is about something and they stand out in your mind. I hate Robbie E but I remember him and know what he’s about, but who the hell is Trent Barretta? What is he all about?

The one thing I like most about TNA is the fact their wrestlers LOOK and ACT the part, rather than go to the ring to deliver an interview in a $2,500 suit with a variation on the same heel shtick as everybody else. Also they don’t require their wrestlers to get permission to have a tattoo or a haircut, which WWE does! Independent contractors my ass.

“At this point why is survivor Series even a big $ PPV when WWE has half ed ass the card for the last 6 years. there are no stakes for the survivor series matches just random faces taking on random heels. Seriously why is Barrett the team leader when Orton and Rhodes are feuding? Who the hell are feuding in that match besides Orton and Rhodes and Christian and Sheamus

Why is Morrison who lost to everyone all year the top contender to the Us title? What is the story line now thinking of it?

Why would Cena choose Rock as his partner? He cool with all the faces outside of spiking the buy rate there is zero reason rock and Cena should team up.

How about WWE doing the this is your life skit again? Hey TNA get kiled for doing shit like this where is the outrage over that 25 minute abortion

Speaking of abortion why is Cole still feuding with JR? It is bad enough he is an annoying commentator the worst kind of annoying yet WWE has pushed Cole harder than 80% of the roster all year and no one says a thing. yet TNA is the bad guy for having Sting vs Hogan which the Philly crowd loved. Remember mania when the crowd shitted on Cole v Lawler even with Austin as referee. How do you bore a crowd with fcuking Stone Cold Steve Austin in the mix.

All this crap from the Company that been around for like 60 years and people have the nerve to bitch about 9 year old TNA?

Rant over

Posted By: WWE sucks (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 12:50 AM”

And this is exactly the truth, right here. You make a lot of valid points, which is why WWE Creative would never hire you or I to actually do the job they can’t.

“Good column. I’d like to see your solution to the problems you have with WWE though; I know fantasy booking can be lame but what would you do with WWE to put them on the same level as TNA for you?

Posted By: mr_wishart (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 08:29 AM”

You asked a hell of a question. There’s a lot that needs to be done with WWE to make it exciting and interesting again, but it is possible. I’d START with the following five things:

1. Repeal of the draconian policies not allowing people to be an individual – this means no more “clearing” haircuts and tattoos with the front office, wear the clothes and the colors you want, craft your own promos with or without help from other wrestlers and trainers, and use the moves you are comfortable with and can pull off safely. Everybody in the damn company has at least two moves everybody else uses right now, we need to spice up the moves!

2. Return the usage of blood, but not in every match. Make blood feuds actually matter, cages actually bust people open, weapons leave somebody in a pile of their own blood, etc. When you’ve seen people thrown into cages for 20 years and they bled like a faucet and today they hit it ten times and don’t bleed at all, it looks fake. And that’s just bad for business if you are trying to put over two people as hating one another yet they fight and nobody is bruised and/or bloodied.

3. Fire a good 25% of the roster that isn’t performing up to par so more time can be spent building the careers of those who achieve. Every year the bottom 5 to 10 percent of wrestlers in terms of performance should be released so they can make way for people who will be successful, and if they improve enough they can be hired back.

4. Cut PPV prices by 50% for an entire year, including WrestleMania. Drop the PPV number to 10 with two free specials on USA LIVE the months there are no PPV events. After a year passes if the economy is still terrible keep the prices down otherwise raise it slightly to 75% of the original price. Drop ticket prices internationally by 25% as well.

5. Kill off WWE Studios, bring WWE magazine to digital form online, release classic wrestling themes from the past on iTunes with the current stars, put out a Best of WCW/ECW Wrestling Music CD every year using the themes they now own, add more guest appearances of past talent and surprises to the live broadcasts, etc.

Honestly that would just be the beginning. There’s a lot of work to be done but that’s how it begins.

“Just a correction in regards to you saying “the UK and Northern Ireland”. Adding NI as a separate entity is wrong, I’m afraid. No big deal, because it can get confusing.

The UK’s full name is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

So you could either go with a simple ‘UK’ or the more long-winded ‘Great Britain and Northern Ireland’ and be spot on. As is, you’re saying ‘The United Kingdom [of Great Britain and Northern Ireland] and Northern Ireland’.

Posted By: Guest#3914 (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 05:25 AM”

Thank you very much for the correction, I’ve unfortunately never been to the U.K but it is refreshing to finally get a clarification on that. I guess this was one of my oops moments this week!

“Phil Brooks was on Opie and Anthony on Friday and I called in to ask him when the WWE plans to stop sucking ass and put on LEGIT wrestling (you know, for more than 2 minutes an hour). The screener liked my question and put me on hold.

20 minutes later he “had to leave”. I swear someone must’ve gave him a heads up on my question and he just wanted to dodge it.

The funny thing is, they’re mailing me a FREE copy of WWE ’12 on PS3 and some other stuff (punk autograph, …).

Helloooooo eBay! (LOL)

Posted By: Spencer Mallard (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 04:36 PM”

I’d get some big time money for that sucker, Spence. And when you do, remember to spend it on SHOPTNA.COM because it is BLACK NOVEMBER and you can save up to 80% on all items on sale right now. I’m probably going to get a few things myself before the month runs out because of the massive bargain. Four DVD’s and any size t-shirt for $20 bucks? I’d like to see WWE do that to help customers out during horrible economic times, but I won’t hold my breath.

“Wes,

I’ve finally figured out the blind hatred so many in the comment section have for you. I see many of the same names from other columns, posting comments that are the reverse of what they “claim” you do in this fine column.

They’ve been so brainwashed by Vince McMahon that they take a personal affront to any criticism of WWE, while being utterly and completely inconsistent by constantly trashing TNA.

It’s very Freudian actually:

They hate you because you represent the inverse of what they hate about themselves.

They know they are mindless sheep, following the WWE pied piper in Vince McMahon…but rather than acknowledging that you are an individual with a free mind, they jealously attack you and project onto you what they actually are:

Which is a bunch of mindless drones who must support WWE at any cost.

And for those of you criticizing the TNA business model, comparing it to Eric Bischoff’s mistakes in WCW:

TNA is not WCW. TNA’s business model has not been geared towards generating PPV buys since they left Fox Sports. TNA’s primary income stream stems from Spike TV and their multitude of international television contracts.

So I’m going to try and use small words so maybe you’ll finally understand: TNA is not “giving away” anything on Impact because Impact is where TNA makes it’s money.

Maybe if any of you could step away from the perpetual stream of shit Vince McMahon heaps upon you, you might realize that PPV is a dying platform (free streams, anybody, anybody?) and to make that the focal revenue stream of a company represents thinking best suited to the last century…you know, the last time WWE was watchable.

Posted By: WWE IS SHIT…BUT FRAME IS OK (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 04:48 PM”

I’ve figured that out from the first column my friend. I even showed percentages that proved both WWE and TNA only convert a single digit percentage of their viewership to PPV purchases when breaking down viewers vs. buyrates of each show. People are stupid, and they do not learn. People may hate me, but if I had a voice in the matter I’d recommend WWE cut their PPV’s down to 10-12 at most and cut the price as I said earlier by half! Right now they are just trying to milk every buck they can out of the hardcore fans.

“Another great column, Wes!

Unfortunately, many of those in your comment section apparently refuse to keep an open mind, but I’m happy to give credit when it’s due.

I’ve really enjoyed your last 2 columns and have always appreciated finally having a voice at 411 that doesn’t have such reactionary hatred for TNA, while viewing every move by WWE through rose-colored glasses.

Keep it up and you won’t hear any complaints from me.

Posted By: Ronnie (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 04:32 PM”

Another nice comment Ronnie, it amazes me how easily we can go from fighting each other weekly to finding common ground. I will admit that on occasion I’ll let my bias for TNA cover up a few problems but I’m quite possibly the only one on the staff who will. I’ve said that I will not give WWE a free pass, and if they publish untruths on national television with the Did You Know? segments I’ll investigate it and post the reality. Some people believe everything they see, sadly. I’m enjoying the fact that two new main eventers were made in TNA from homegrown talent thanks to the booking of Angle/Roode that none of us saw coming. Unpredictability can be a very good thing!

The Bad

“And remember folks, the WWE REQUESTED this particular paid package so they would get more money”

REALLY WES? Can you provide even the slightest shred of actual, hard evidence to back up this statement? Actual documentary FACT, online or elsewhere? Were you privy to the discussions and contract arrangements?

And I don’t want any “these are the facts” or “it’s widely acknowledged” BS. You’ve made a statement of “fact”, so let’s see your working.

As for this:

“Unfortunately, they probably forgot that The Great One is much better on the mic than he is in the ring but that’s not my problem! “

No, Wes. Your problem is you put out ridiculous, trollbaity statements like that to provoke a response, thinking that a gimmick like this somehow overcomes your obvious weakness as a writer.

Posted By: Santana (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 08:37 AM”

Hey Chico, nice to see you are enjoying retirement!

So you want to see a statement of fact? Here you are: Sky Sports Renews WWE Agreement from Sky Sports itself. The fact is, WWE and Sky agreed to all the terms as stated on the site, because WWE wanted the money rather than the exposure.

Perhaps you didn’t watch The Rock actually wrestle, but although the man can put somebody over and sell like nobody’s business he wasn’t well known for working a comprehensive wrestling match. The reason people like you will not have a column reflects in the ignorance you have calling me a weak writer and then failing to produce any shred of proof Rock can work a five-star match with a good to decent opponent in the ring like many great wrestlers can. I think most people agree Rock’s biggest strength is his promo skills, so see you later Chico! Say hi to Rick Martel for me.

“During 2000, The Monday Night Wars drew twelve and a half million wrestling fans on average. Currently, RAW brings in about 4.1 million fans.” – Wes Kirk

RAW averaged around 7 million viewers in 2000 and Nitro averaged around 3 million. So your “12.5 million” figure is wrong. But even assuming the combined number of viewers for RAW and Nitro was 12.5 million in 2000, it wasn’t 12.5 million UNIQUE viewers. There was quite a bit of overlap as fans often switched channels between the two shows. By that logic, you could argue that 8-10 million people watch RAW every week because for ratings purposes, it’s actually two shows (RAW 1 from 9-10 and RAW 2 from 10-11) which each draw around 4-5 million viewers.

Posted By: Mark Miller (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 07:37 PM”

First of all, the twelve and a half million viewers came from World Wrestling Insanity’s excellent read “World Wrestling Insanity: The Decline And Fall Of A Family Empire” by James Guttman.

When you take a look at the ratings in 2000, you also have to keep in mind that the number of viewers is different now than it was before. RAW during the first four months of the year was pulling in over 6.0 on a regular basis and Nitro was pulling in around 4.0 as well before starting to decline. Back then, 1 Nielsen point was roughly equivalent to one million households. So if you had a 1.0, you had 1 million viewers. There is no denying that RAW has dropped from 2000-2011, if you believe it does not check out the Factor edition last week and if you still don’t believe me, there are multiple sites with the ratings and averages of the entire year. Do them yourself. Overlap was only counted, as always, by people who had Nielsen sets and were able to be tracked. Nobody really knows what the ACTUAL television numbers are because if you don’t have a set, you can’t be sure that it is truly accurate. In truth, there were only a few months that twelve and a half million viewers was the norm after taking a look back at the classic ratings and ten to eleven million is closer. However, for a few months in the year 2000 it was actually the average.

RAW is also not two shows, considering it is the same company putting on the same performers with the same music and the same name. TVbythenumbers lists it as WWE Entertainment rather than WWE RAW or RAW is War or what have you. Ultimately, the name of the show shouldn’t mean it gets counted as two different shows since it is obviously the exact same audience at 10:00 as it was at 9:59! Yes, people change the channels but to claim RAW is actually two shows drawing ten million viewers is misleading and massively inaccurate. Apples and oranges, Mark.

“It was the wrestlemania 4 battle royal bad news won, not 2 kirk.

Posted By: Guest#5480 (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 05:10 AM”

I hope since I actually made a mistake I don’t get people calling me incompetent and then starting a petition to get me thrown off 411! Oh wait, they already tried that! How’s that petition working out, guys?

“In reference to TNA being more successful than WWE in the UK: I live in England, no wrestling fans I know like TNA anymore, not since Hogan and Bischoff started. At the same time virtually no one I know has Sky Sports, the channel that WWE broadcasts on, where as nearly everyone has Challenge, the channel that TNA is on. So basically what I am saying is that while more people watch TNA it doesn’t necessarily mean they think it is any better than the WWE, it is just easier to see. Ten years ago when Smackdown was on Sky One I’ll bet that it had much better viewing figures because again it was much more available.

You can still say that TNA are smart for airing on a channel with a more accessible viewership, but then Sky Sports is a more respectable channel than Challenge, which aside from TNA only plays repeats of wacky game shows from the 90s. So swings and roundabouts.

Posted By: James Wright (Registered) on November 19, 2011 at 10:24 AM”

You can thank WWE for choosing the option that gave them the paid channel instead of the free channel, James. Because of that TNA took the free channel knowing it would be on a better timeslot and get more viewers that way. Mistakes like this have been popping up rather often with WWE lately. The fact is TNA is getting a foothold, people are watching, and the numbers have remained steady throughout even with a change in the viewing time.

And really, to everybody who has such an issue with the UK ratings this post made sums it up:

“More people watch Impact than Raw in the UK…period.

You can make up any excuse that you want.

The bottom line is:

MORE PEOPLE WATCH IMPACT THAN WATCH RAW IN THE UK.

Are you fucking mental or something?

Posted By: Guest#2619 (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 04:58 PM”

Excuses, excuses. When I was a kid I stayed up till 1 am to watch Saturday Nights Main Event, because I enjoyed it that much, and prior to that when I was really young I had it watched and taped so I could watch it the next morning by a family member. Bottom line: If it is good, people will go out of their way to see it.

The WTF

“‘TNA continues to be the top watched pro wrestling program in ten years in the U.K and has defeated RAW and Smackdown almost every week this year’

To quote Mel Gibson, will somebody shoot this prick? Week after week reality flies over his head at an altitude of 30,000 feet yet he continues to humiliate himself in the most shameful fashion. Whatever. Let me share a little story with you Kirkbag, in the hope that finally the penny drops through the fog of delusion which clouds your tiny mind. I’ve just relocated to a new apartment but due to the geographic position of the property it’s not possible to get Sky satellite coverage, therefore sadly I’ve dumped my subscription until I can get a cable service installed. That means I don’t get access to WWE programming. PERIOD. If I want to watch wrestling the ONLY OPTION is TNA. This is catastrophic for me since TNA, despite being TOTALLY FREE, is fucking unwatchable, so at the moment I’m not watching any wrestling. If you can’t get it through your thick head that the majority of casual fans with no access to any other wrestling product will watch Impact simply because it’s on and it’s free, then you need to get back to soldering your silly little motherboards on Monday morning because it’s over for you dummy…every one of your comments is either incorrect or a lie.

Posted By: The Boss (Guest) on November 19, 2011 at 04:26 PM”

So you begin the comment by first wishing somebody kills me with a gun. Yes, great way to start a debate with somebody by handing him or her the entire thing. I guess there really is only one response to your wonderful hate-filled comment my friend…

Nobody knew what the word used last week meant, so nobody gets mentioned!

Need to find out about some obscure wrestler from the 1970’s or learn the secret to how wrestlers throw a good worked punch? Just Ask 411 Wrestling and Sforcina will be glad to help and possibly beat you senseless too.

Steve Cook brings us the originally titled News From Cook’s Corner for your pleasure. Caution: Best read while stoned and/or drunk.

Our Canadian neighbors with the superior dollar grant us The Wrestling News Experience by Stephen Randle. Bastards.

Greg DeMarco teams up along with yours truly to bring the hits on weekends with his contribution of The Wrestling 5&1 and you have to admit, DeMarco and I rule the weekend.

And that is that for the week! See you Saturday and as always try to learn something new everyday because you just never know when you might need that extra bit of knowledge. God knows most of you do!