Why I Love/Hate Wrestling 10.07.07: No Mercy 2007

Welcome one and all to the No Mercy edition of why I Love/Hate Wrestling. I’m gonna take a look at the card and place each match under “Why I Love Wrestling,” or “Why I Hate Wrestling.” Plus, you get my predictions! How sweet is that?

Why I Love Wrestling

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay
I was definitely on the rocks about putting this on the “Love” part of my column. Because if you think about it, it is nothing more than the Finlay/Kane match with Rey stepping in as Kane. But, then again, this may be a diamond in the rough. In my year end review, I gave Finlay top honors as comeback wrestler of the year. And what a year he has had. It has been filled with ups and downs. He has been a stable of awesome wrestling on Smackdown and has even been able to drag Batista to a good match. Rey has made his comeback from his knee injury and has also been featured heavily on Smackdown. He won his comeback match against Chavo and beat him down in an “I Quit” match. He won the number one contender tournament and was part of the triple threat match for the World Heavyweight title. So how does one go about rewarding such hard work? Filler. However, based on the talents involved, I think this match has a great chance of success and could equal a great, entertaining match and possible an interesting feud.
Winner: Rey Mysterio via 619

Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix
Man, I’m gonna get some negative feedback on this one. In terms of wrestling, there isn’t really any chance this will be great, but in terms of the current state of women’s wrestling, this could be just what it needs. Since the loss of wrestlers like Trish, Lita, and Stacy, the women’s division looked grim. But, in time, it has started to make a comeback. The WWE roster actually has a few girls that can actually wrestle. Don’t believe me? Here, take a look.

Beth Phoenix: The Glamazon has proven that she can wrestle and has a physique like a less manly Chyna. She is a solid performer and looks to be able to help the division.
Candice Michelle: She has improved wonders since she started and she could very well be on her way to being the next big women’s wrestler.
Mickie James: The hottest person on the planet, plus she can wrestle. ‘Nuff said.
Victoria: Time and time again she has proven to be one of the most capable women’s wrestler out there, and don’t expect to see her stray to far away from the belt.
Melina: Melina has been able to put on decent matches and gets good heat for a female wrestler.
Jillian Hall: I have heard she can wrestle and it looks like she has been trying to get noticed, so we will see what happens.

Overall, not to shabby. And while the roster seems to be filled with tons of nameless female wrestlers, I believe there is enough hope in the list above to see the women’s division get back on its feet. Back to the match at hand. While it will not be the best women’s match ever, I believe that it will be good enough and start to bring credibility back to the division. Of course, I could be horribly, horribly wrong but let’s not be pessimistic here.
Winner: Beth Phoenix via Glamazon shenanigans

WWE Title Match
Nobody knows how this match will go down, but here is how I imagine it. It will involve two, if not three, of the following superstars: Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and HHH. If it is a triple threat match, it could turn out to be really good. Not Wrestlemania XX good, but still a fun, exciting match. It is unfortunate that Cena had to get injured, but it leaves room for more superstars to step up. This is an interest match and hopefully something of the sort happens.
Winner: Chris Jericho via Walls of Jericho

Why I Hate Wrestling

Triple H vs. Umaga
Once upon a time, Umaga was a wrecking ball. He trampled over all of his opponents, ranging from the legendary Ric Flair to Jeff Hardy. He put on a Match of the Year candidate with the one and only John Cena in a Last Man Standing match, and was the focus of the most heavily promoted storyline going into Wrestlemania 23. The WWE finally appreciated his work and he is a two time IC Champ. However, he made some bad decisions along his way and now he has to pay the price. Enter Triple H. I attacked this problem in last week’s column and it is sure to continue on to the PPV. Triple H has been mowing through everyone that WWE has tried to build up, and with Umaga’s latest punishment, I believe a firm squashing is just what Vince McMahon ordered. And while Umaga may deserve to feel some punishment, I still think it is sad about how much he is going to be slaughtered and how much it is going to take to bring his reputation back up. The match does have a chance to be entertaining if they allow Umaga to get some offense and maybe a near fall, but we all know that that is highly unlikely.
Winner: Triple H via banging the boss’s daughter

CM Punk vs. Big Daddy V
Had this been anyone else besides V, I would surely have put it in the “Love” category. CM Punk is one of the best things going here. The ECW Title tournament was looking good and the final two came down to Burke and Dreamer. I would have enjoyed either one of those matches a million times more than this, but we got a swerve and V came down to the ring. At that moment every CM Punk fan, and wrestling fan in general, died a little inside. V is essentially Abdullah the Butcher, but without the fork. And Abdullah is bad with the fork, so now imagine how bad V is. He has been repackaged several times, ranging from King *shudder* Mabel to the World’s Largest Love Machine, and none of them have been very successful. V gets hardly any reaction aside from a few “oohs” and “awes” when he decimated three jobbers at one time, but he can’t wrestle worth crap. At least when he was in a rivalry with Boogeyman it was killing two bird with one stone by having both of the worst wrestlers in one feud, but now they have to bring Punk into it. Punk is in his hometown, but that hasn’t stopped WWE before. I believe CM Punk will do everything he can to make the match watchable, but I don’t know if he is on the level to do so yet.
Winner: CM Punk via my pleading with the wrestling god (not JBL)

Batista vs. Khali
Oh man, this will be bad. Aside from the surprisingly entertaining Triple Treat Match involving Kane, this feud had been down the crapper. Huh, so I guess Kane isn’t to bad after all. The previous matches have been slow, generic, and overall hard to watch. Both of these men need people to carry them to good matches, and unless you somehow throw Shawn Michaels and Undertaker into the match, I don’t believe there is any hope. The Prison adds a little to the match in the fact that it will at least be a spectacle. Other than that, I don’t see how this match will even be entertaining. There are so many other options for Batista to face, such as Finlay, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, or even Undertaker. But, alas, most of those people aren’t on the card, but expect possibly one of them to show up later in the night. So, there is a slim chance that this match might turn out to be entertaining, but don’t bank on it.
Winner: Batista via whatever the hell you do in the Punjabi Prison match

Where the hell are the good wrestlers?
This is just a quick little tidbit, but here are the people that WWE is leaving off the card:

The entire tag division (Hardy & MVP vs. Brothers of Destruction was taken off the card)
Jeff Hardy
Carlito
Ken Kennedy
Elijah Burke
Cruiserweights
And various other wrestlers more talented than half the wrestlers on the card.

So that is pretty great; all the good wrestlers are not even going to be on the card. That’s WWE for you.

Alright everybody, time for me to wrap things up. in case you missed it, here is my quick predictions: Rey, Punk, Beth Phoenix, Batista, HHH, and Chris Jericho. The PPV should be mediocre at best, with a few gems shining through. But, I have been wrong before. Be sure to tune into No Mercy and also tune into the various other great articles here. Wow, that was a pretty sweet segue, huh? Anyway, stay classy, 411Mania readers.