Why I Love/Hate Wrestling 12.30.07: Fantasy Booking (Vol. 4)

I must warn you that I have had the good fortune to be stricken with mono and anemia and a simple cold. That’s had made for an exhausting holiday which is why I wasn’t able to bring you my glorious writing last week. I will only be delivering half of the PPV this week, with the PPV culminating next week. But, hey, what can you do? Sit back and enjoy the writing!

Professional Wrestling Infinity Presents Retribution 12.23.07

As usual JBL and Dave Prazak are your announcers. We open the show with a recap of last week. We have a cruiserweight battle royal, Steen and KOW vs. Joe and The Briscoes, as well as tons of other stuff.

Inhumane Darkness and Kane vs. The Saints and Chris Jericho in an Eight Man Hardcore Elimination War

Big brawl to start. They scatter throughout the arena. CM Punk and Austin Aries battle in the ring as Steele and Rave brawl outside the ring. Kane and Cabana brawl in the crowd and Jericho and Raven fight on the entrance ramp. Raven and Jericho battle dangerously close to the edge of the ramp where a table is conveniently placed. Jericho charges Raven and Raven catches him in a drop toe hold and Jericho goes face first through the table. Punk and Aries duke it out and Aries hits a German suplex. Outside the ring Rave just piledrove Cabana onto the steel steps. Cabana is busted open now. Kane just clotheslined Steele over the barrier. Jericho is being pulled up now by Raven and they are back up on the ramp. Jericho powerbombs Raven on the ramp, holds on, then powerbombs him off the ramp onto another table. He jumps down and pins him and Raven is the first eliminated at 4:31.

Rave and Cabana both have chairs and are hitting each other. Kane big boots Steele and helps out Rave by big booting Cabana’s chair into his face. Rave lays down both the chairs and Hits the Greetings from Ghana on Cabana and pins him at 6:05.

Rave and Kane are double teaming Steele now as Jericho is helping CM Punk with Aries. Punk and Jericho go for a double suplex but Aries counters and hits them both with a DDT. Kane chokeslams Steele through the announce table outside the ring as Rave pulls out a ladder and another table. Kane puts Steele on table and Rave goes off the top and hits a frog splash through the table and that finishes off Steele at 8:42.

Two on three now as the heels have the upper hand. Kane brawls with Jericho now and he clotheslines him outside the ring. Jericho dropkicks Kane in the knees and Kane is stumbling so he hits a Codebreaker. He grabs a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and tosses it into the ring. He also grabs a trash can and puts it into the ring. Kane staggering up now and Jericho rolls him into the ring. Back in the ring, Rave and Aries double team Punk and hit a double suplex. Then Rave locks on the Heel Hook and Aries locks on an armbar. Jericho quickly breaks it up with the trash can and puts two head shaped dents in the trash can. Kane up to his feet and Jericho turns around right into a chokeslam. He kicks him in the groin, though, and grabs the wire bat and busts Kane open. Kane is gushing now and his vision is impaired. He chokeslams Aries by mistake and then gets tossed out of the ring by Jericho. Punk holds Rave down as Jericho pins Aries at 13:27.

Kane is outside the ring and still bleeding. Jericho launches himself over the top rope and crossbodies Kane. Punk and Rave are fighting in the ring and Punk has Rave up for the GTS but Rave elbows out of it and hits a reverse DDT. Rave then locks on the Heel Hook again on Punk. Y2J tries to get in the ring and save his teammate, but Kane holds onto his leg as Punk taps out at the 15:40 mark.

Kane and Jericho brawling on the outside while Rave takes a rest in the ring. Jericho hits a diving clothesline on Kane. Jericho grabs a table from under the ring but right when he comes up with it Rave hits an Asai Moonsault onto Jericho. Kane up and grabs the ladder and sets it up. Rave grabs Jericho and rolls him onto the table and Kane up top, splashes him and that is all at 18:13. ***1/2

The Briscoes are in the back getting ready for the match and telling each other to MAN UP. Tremendous. The Kings of Wrestling enter and have a staredown with The Briscoes and tell them they will see them in the ring.

Amazing Kong vs. Trish Stratus

Mickie James is not with Trish thanks to the beatdown she suffered at the hands of Kong last week. Trish starts fast as she rushes Kong and goes for a clothesline, but Kong is still up. Trish runs and goes for a running DDT but Kong stops her and throws her off with Trish landing on her face. Stomps by Kong now and she hits and elbow drop. And another, followed by a leg drop. She pins but only gets two. Kong Irish whips Trish and Trish comes off the ropes and goes for a crossbody but Kong counters and hits a spinout slam. A pin only gets two. She Irish whips Trish into the turnbuckle. Kong with a head of steam and she rushes Trish, but Trish rolls out of the way. Trish sets Kong up on the top turnbuckle and looks like she is going for a belly to belly but Kong pushes her off. She land on her feet and runs and hits a Stratusphere on Kong. She picks up Kong and goes for a Stratusfaction but Kong counters and throws her into the corner. German Suplex by Kong and she is now on the top rope and goes for a splash, but Trish rolls out of the way. Trish hits the Chick kick and Kong stumbles out of the ring. Trish follows her out and tries to throw her back in the ring, but Kong clotheslines her. Kong up on the apron now and she runs, leaps, and misses a Splash again. Trish rolls in the ring and Kong gets counted out at 7:42.**3/4

We see James Mitchell and Abyss in the back. Mitchell cuts a sinisterly awesome promo. Not only will Umaga not get up by the ten count, he will not get up at all.

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) vs. Age of the Fall (Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black)

Crowd is hyped for this match as Sabin and Jacobs start it off. They lock up, and Sabin Irish whips Jacobs across the ring. Quick hurricanrana from Sabin after Jacobs bounces off the ropes, and Sabin and Shelley both play to the crowd. The referee tells Shelley to get back in the ring, and while his back is turned, Jacobs low blows Sabin. Jacobs Irish whips Sabin into the corner, and tags in Black. Black lifts Sabin up for a powerbomb, and Jimmy Jacobs hits his Contra Code while Black powerbombs him to the mat. Pin by Black One…Two… broken up by Shelley. Black goes to work on a groggy Sabin, locking him in a side headlock. Sabin backs Black into the ropes and Irish whips him to the other side. Black attempts to hit a shoulder block on Sabin. Both competitors don’t give an inch. Sabin off the ropes now, and he attempts a shoulder block as well, and they both stand still. Sabin and Black run off opposite ropes and both try to hit a clothesline, knocking both men down. The referee’s count gets up to seven, and both men get up, trading punches with each other. Sabin gains the upper hand and lifts him up in a fireman’s carry. Black elbows out, and hits a dropsault to the back of the head. He flips Sabin over and hits a Standing Shooting Star Press. Cover only gets two. Irish whip into a neutral corner, and Black lifts him up onto the turnbuckle, looking for a Superplex. Sabin counters and Black gets a Tornado DDT for his troubles. Referee’s count up to five when Sabin gets up and makes the hot tag to Shelley. Shelley comes in with clotheslines and hard punches to Black and Jacobs, who entered illegally. He throws Jacobs out of the ring and hits the Shellshock on Black. He tags Sabin back in who hits a Top rope Leg Drop. Cover is broken up at two by Jacobs. Shelley tagged in again as he knocks Jacobs out of the ring with a Superkick. Spinning Sole Kick by Sabin, Superkick by Shelley, and Enziguri/Superkick combo from the two of them. Pin by Shelley as Sabin taunts to the crowd. The Motor City Machine Guns win by pinfall at the 21:03 mark.****

We see Ric Flair laid out, bloody, in the back.

“M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross comes to the ring and says he knows that Christopher Daniels took out Ric Flair and he will win this match for Flair. He said that they took Ric Flair to a local medical facility because he was having head troubles. Christopher Daniels comes out and insists that he didn’t do it. Cross doesn’t believe it and he knows Daniels has a reputation for lying. Daniels is basically like WTF Whatev. As he is walking down to the ring Cross hits a suicide dive. He rolls him into the ring and the match starts now…

Matt Cross vs. Christopher Daniels
The match is fast paced as Cross levels Daniels with a spinning heel kick. To the top rope now and Cross hits Daniels with a SHOOTING STAR DDT~! He doesn’t pin him, though, and spend some time showboating. He goes up top, brags some more, and goes for a Shooting Star Press but Daniels rolls out of the way. He pins Cross but kicks out at two. Daniels hits a running leg drop, followed by a running elbow drop, followed by a standing moonsault. He picks him up now and flings him off the ropes and has him up for a DVD but Cross counters it into an Edge-O-Matic. Lionsault connects by Matt Cross and he pins but gets two. Cross picks him up and Irish whips him into the corner, follows, but Daniels gets a boot up. Daniels up top now and gets a double axe handle on Cross. Daniels picks up Cross but Cross gets some quick kicks to the legs of Daniels followed by a roundhouse. Cross on the top turnbuckle but Daniels crotches him and hits a DVD for two. BME now by Daniels but it still gets two. Daniels goes for the Angel’s Wings but Cross counters it into a bridging pin, but Daniels kicks out at two and three quarters. Daniels is mad now and in the ref’s face and Cross goes to hit Daniels, but Daniels ducks and Cross inadvertently hits the ref. Daniels goes for a chair and A bloodied and battered Ric Flair comes down to the ring on crutches with his head bandaged up. Daniels turns his attention to Flair and starts walking towards him. As soon as Daniels gets there, Ric Flair levels him with his crutch. He wails on him with it, then takes of his bandages and lets out a glorious “Wooo!” It was all a trick devised by Flair! Cross drags Daniels to the ring and Hits a Shooting Star Leg Drop for the win at 7:52. ***1/4

Final Thoughts
Here is the first half of the PPV, Retribution. Now I know you all make think this a cope out, and, while I feel you pain, I need some sleep. Don’t worry, I will be back next week with Abyss vs. Umaga in a Last Man Standing Match, RVD vs. Roderick Strong, The Briscoes vs. Kings of Wrestling for the PWI Tag Titles, and Kevin Steen vs. Samoa Joe for the PWI World Heavyweight Title. Until then, stay classy, 411Mania readers.

BTW, this is my 50th article ever written for 411Mania, so go me! Now if I can only make it to 100 without being fired I think I will be able pat myself on the back.