The World According to Ron: Smackdown & Instant Replay

I don’t have much this week in ways of an opener, since I’m otherwise engaged. I’m preaching this week for the first time in four years at the church where I’m attending in West Virginia, and I am having some trouble coming up with a closer. For those of you who weren’t around for my first trip around the 411 sun, when I started writing here, I was in the ministry. I’m not now, but the pastor is on vacation, and she asked me to help out.

As I write this, the big news, non-political-wise, is that Ryan Shazier has feeling in his legs. If you saw the game between the Steelers and the Bengals on December 4, or if you follow the NFL at all, you know Shazier was one of the Steelers’ leaders on defense when he had an injury to his spine. He was carted off the field in Cincinnati and has had several surgeries to try to restore feeling. He insists he’s going to play again, and while I would love that, I’ll be happy with him walking again.

The big news, political-wise, you may ask? Nope. I’m not talking about politics this week. Before I get in any trouble there, let’s just go to the main event.

AFTER FURTHER REVIEW…

When I first wrote for 411 many, many, many moons ago, national sports talk radio was in its basic infancy. There were some national hosts, like WWE Hall of Famer Pete Rose, but they were all in the evening or weekends. Daytime sports talk was limited to local shows. There was no such thing as a sports talk station or network other than syndication for one or two hosts.

Then, ESPN Radio decided to go from a weekend-only network to seven-day network in 1996 with The Fabulous Sports Babe. The Babe was loud and obnoxious, but she got people’s attention in a good way. The Babe was only on ESPN Radio for three years, but she is an important part of the history of the network. Before there was Dan LeBatard, before there was Colin Cowherd, even before there was Mike and Mike, there was The Fabulous Sports Babe.

I was a fan of the Babe. She would have mock drafts before anyone else thought of it, having NFL and NBA writers from each market talk about the needs of each team before choosing a player. She offered her listeners the chance to be known as The Basketball God by picking a perfect bracket for March Madness (I don’t think anyone even made it past the Thursday of the first week).

However, there was one part of her regular shtick I was never a fan of. When someone would complain about a game from over the weekend in which their favorite team would lose because of a questionable or even flat-out wrong call by the officials, her response was always, “You’re not happy with the officiating, then take it out of their hands. Score More Points!” The Babe apparently never heard of officials making a lousy call that would take points off the boards. Replay officials have done some good work toward negating bad calls (for example, dirt-kicking, name-calling arguments at home plate in baseball have been relegated to the past), but in some cases, they seem to have opened the floor to more arguments (New England Patriots games, anyone?). When you score points, but the officials take them away, you really have no recourse.

Why do I bring up The Fabulous Sports Babe in 2017? Because I can hear her talking to Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable.

If you saw Smackdown, you saw what happened. Gable and Benjamin beat The Usos for the tag team titles, and started celebrating, before another referee came down to the ring to tell the match official the wrong guys were involved in the pin. The second official then points to the big screen, a replay is shown, and the match continued. After a couple more minutes, Jimmy and Jey win the match and remain champions, while Chad and Shelton go back to the locker room, knowing they had the win, but it was taken away. They scored more points, but the officials used replay to take the win away.

If there was no replay, Benjamin and Gable are going to Smackdown this week talking about how the Usos were good champions, and they are looking forward to a rematch to defend their titles.

When did replay become an officiating tool for matches? And, why is it only used in events like this? Why can’t officials use replay to check if there was no illegal interference leading directly to a pin or submission? Why can’t officials use replay to check about usage of foreign objects? Why am I asking questions about officiating in a scripted exhibition? Why am I suddenly talking only in questions? Why am I asking you?

Replay is used to aid officials in football, in baseball, in hockey, in basketball, even in soccer (or, for those of you not in the US and Canada, football). If professional wrestling is supposed to be “sports entertainment,” then why not lean toward the “sports” part now and then and allow replay for questionable calls? Let each wrestler or team have a second away from the ringside area, but yet close enough to get the referee’s attention. This could also allow for a new type of shenanigans. Let’s say, f’rinstance, Sami Zayn is wrestling Shinsuke Nakamura. Nakamura is preparing to hit the Kinshasa, when Kevin Owens grabs his leg, getting his attention. Nakamura looks down at Owens long enough for Zayn to get up and hit the Heluva Kick and get the pin.

But, wait! Kevin Owens is getting tired of having to protect his friend, and he throws the challenge flag. He then tells the referee what happened, who looks at the replay, determines Owens interfered for Zayn, and restarts the match. Nakamura hits the Kinshasa, gets the pin, and Owens comes in the ring afterward, yelling at Zayn that he needs to fight his own battles before beating on him some more. Instant Face Turn for Sami Zayn.

That’s just an example. I don’t want to see a Zayn face turn, really.

There is a lot of talk about the rebirth of the XFL. If that happens, then there will be a replay official at every game. No arguments, it just will happen. So, why not get a head start on replay? Do it, Vince. It will give you a new story-telling tool. After all, isn’t that what you do? You’re not a wrestling promoter, you’re a story teller? Well, this story is waiting to be told.

AFTER FURTHER REAR VIEW…

Question time!

First, there was “Have a Nice Day!: A Tale of Blood and Sweatsocks.” This was followed by “Foley is Good: And the Real World is Faker Than Wrestling,” “The Hardcore Diaries,” and “Countdown to Lockdown: A Hardcore Journal.” Now comes word that Mick Foley is writing another memoir, “Saint Mick: My Journey From Hardcore Legend to Santa’s Jolly Elf.” If (“If?”) When he writes another memoir, what will it be called, and what will it be about? Explain THAT?!?

For the answer, we go to our first two-time winner, Zoidberg!

“Foley’s next memoir is easy: Dick Foley: The transformation from hardcore legend to genital mastermind after wrestling Joey Ryan.
Hard copies only.”

How can anyone compete with that? Well, apparently, everyone else thought the same thing, since Zoidberg had the only entry. Nevertheless, it was very good, and he deserves the laurel.

Next question, anyone?

This week on Smackdown, before a match between Aiden English and Xavier Woods, Rusev switched roles and sang to English about Rusev Day. What will be the next song Rusev sings on television? Explain THAT?!?

A simple, wide-open question for THE GREATEST AUDIENCE IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING TODAY! THANK YOU! YOU’RE GREAT! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

If that’s not a smarmy farewell, I don’t know what is…

#SavetheCrew

Ron