WWF Prime Time Wrestling (3.6.1989) Review

-Originally aired March 6, 1989.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. Heenan is fully decked out in Wrestlemania V merchandise and demands to know the full card for Wrestlemania V. Gorilla screws with him by repeating the matches already announced. Gorilla mentions that the Women’s Title won’t be defended at Wrestlemania and Bobby asks “Who cares?” He’s unfortunately not wrong and the belt was pretty much abandoned around this point.

RED ROOSTER vs. TIM PATTERSON
-Rooster still has the normal hair, way later than I thought he made the change to the rooster comb. Rooster hammerlocks Patterson and takes him down with a drop toehold. He rams Patterson shoulder-first into the turnbuckle and finishes with the chicken wing for the submission.

KING HAKU (with Bobby Heenan) vs. OMAR ATLAS
-From Wrestling Challenge. Chops and kicks by the King, and the crescent kick finishes, no sweat.

UPDATE
-Mean Gene runs down the full card for Wrestlemania V. Good lord, 14 matches? This card looks like it’s going to go over three hours! Can you imagine?

-Gorilla is amazed that Bobby Heenan put his John Henry on the contract. Bobby drilled a giant rock on top of the contract, apparently.

HANDICAP MATCH: BIG JOHN STUDD vs. CHRIS DUFFY & MITCH CAREY
-From Wrestling Challenge. The jobbers try to slingshot Studd into the ring as he’s entering, and Studd reverses it, sending both guys flying over the top to start. Double clothesline sends them back out. Carey gets dumped over the top again while Duffy gets Flair-slammed off the top turnbuckle. Carey goes flying over the top rope one more time and Duffy submits to the bearhug to finish. These jobbers went the extra mile and Studd looked like a million bucks.

-We go to Randy Savage with a million-dollar promo about how the Mega-Powers tag team was formed on the promise that no harm would ever come to Elizabeth. So Hogan completely fucks that up by letting Elizabeth get manhandled and handcuffed by the Twin Towers. AND Hogan promised that he wouldn’t stick his nose in Savage’s singles matches, but what happens when Savage has a match against Akeem? Hogan runs to the ring, beats up both Twin Towers, and does a celebratory pose afterward. And the boiling point was when they were on The Brother Love Show. Savage rolls the footage so we can see Hogan say “I love Elizabeth” and the video cuts off before he says “like a sister.” This is absolutely the best work of Savage’s life, and the buyrate ended up reflecting it. The mind reels at how well this show could have done if Savage had a sign to point to at the end of the promo.

DINO BRAVO (with Frenchy Martin) vs. SAM HOUSTON
-We’re going all the way back to a TV taping in July for this one. Side headlock by Dino. Houston fights back with a hiptoss and whips Dino into the corner. Dino overpowers him on an attempted monkeyflip and clamps on a chinlock. Elbow by Dino only gets two, so he goes back to the chinlock. Sam Houston gets bored enough by this match to make a comeback and dropkicks Dino out to the floor, but Dino heads right back in and hits the side suplex right away for three.

EVENT CENTER
-Jake “The Snake” Roberts talks about rules of gambling, and this one goes shockingly better than the other time he tried that. We get a rebuttal, and Andre’s gonna choke the Snake, so avert your children’s eyes during that match. Demolition is ready for Fuj the Stooge!

HONKY TONK MAN & GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Jimmy Hart) vs. PAUL BROWN & REX FARMER
-Valentine chops Farmer and suplexes him. Honky heads in and dedicates a punch to the face to the Hart Foundation. Elbows by Valentine, and Honky drags him over to force the other jobber to tag in. Lord Alfred Hayes suggests that Honky and Valentine combined are like rock and roll. Hmm, close but no cigar, Alfred. Figure four by Valentine ends it.

THE BROTHER LOVE SHOW
-The long wait is over, as Brother Love has something concealed under a blanket on the set and welcomes a very special guest…The Million Dollar Man. DiBiase recaps pretty much his entire WWF run. He said he was going to buy the WWF Title, he did it, and the WWF changed the rules on him to steal the belt away from him. So just to shove it in the WWF’s collective face, he commissioned his own title belt. And with that, the belt is unveiled and even Vince and Jesse are awestruck by the sight of it. “Are those ALL diamonds?”

-In the studio, Gorilla concedes he’s impressed, but notes a funny detail in the segment, in that DiBiase wouldn’t actually allow Brother Love to touch the belt.

WRESTLEMANIA V REPORT
-We get Hulk’s rebuttal, and again, Hulk is totally fixated on cancer for this promo, and provides proper context for the “I love Elizabeth” comment. Okay, but seriously, count the number of times that Hulk says “cancer.” It comes off creepy. Run-DMC cuts a promo on Mr. Fuji. And Gene reads “a telegram from Roddy Piper.” Interesting detail, everyone remembers this as Piper’s official return to the company. It was actually a one-shot deal at the time, and in fact, at the same time Gene was hyping Piper’s Pit, Piper was negotiating with Jim Herd about a run down south. Piper didn’t really return and stay until the summer.

TWIN TOWERS (with Slick) vs. TWIN JOBBERS
-The introduction is missing and History of WWE doesn’t know who the scrubs either. Rockers promise to do whatever it takes to win at Wrestlemania V, even irritating Akeem.

-Double avalanche by the Towers, and a splash by Akeem finishes. Boss Man doesn’t even wait for the three-count to beat on the other jobber with the nightstick.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Rare appearance by Lord Alfred Hayes on the interview platform, welcoming the Powers of Pain and Mr. Fuji. Fuji explains that he dumped the champions because they stopped listening to him. The Powers of Pain have promised to listen and promised to win.
BAD NEWS BROWN vs. SCOTT CASEY
-From Boston Garden. We’ve seen this one before! Bad News stalls a lot until Casey starts armdragging him around and Bad News declares that this whole match is “bullshit” and teases walking out early. Casey applies a wristlock and stays with the arm, switching from hold to hold to wear it down until Bad News punches him out to the floor. Boston is DONE with this match and unloading the “Boring” chant on them. Bad News misses a corner charge and Casey seems to win the fans back with a piledriver for two.

-We actually take a commercial break for this and return with Bad News ramming Casey into the turnbuckle and headbutting him. Bad News targets the throat, then tangles Casey into the ropes and beats on him. Sleeper applies by Bad News, but Casey reverses it. Bad News rams him into the corner to break, and both guys are hurt. Casey throws punches. Bad News tries a kick to the stomach, but Casey grabs his leg, and Bad News uses his free leg for an enziguiri/ghetto blaster to finish. It picked up steam after a while.

SPECIAL REPORT
-Sensational Sherri holds a spring fashion show.

KOKO B. WARE vs. RAVISHING RICK RUDE
-From Boston Garden, and holy crap, this match is ten months old. Evasive manuevers by Koko to start, and then he fires some punches at Rude. Rude’s back is so broken out in looks like the Constitution spelled out in braille.

-Back from commercial, the camera times a close-up of Rude perfectly and we see him calling Koko a motherfucker. Koko apparently doesn’t take too kindly to it, atomic dropping him. Rude gets out of the way of a charge and Koko goes balls-first into the turnbuckles. Celebratory pose by Rude follows. Rude heads to the top rope and connects with a fistdrop. Celebratory pose by Rude follows. Rear chinlock by Rude. Koko fights out, but Rude knees him down and drops an elbow. Celebratory pose by Rude follows.

-Back to the chinlock, but Koko gets out with an electric chair. He tries to finish with a splash, but Rude raises the knees. Celebratory pose by Rude follows. He heads to the top turnbuckle, but Koko shakes the rope and Rude crotches himself. Rude fights back and dumps Koko over the top, then picks a fight with Frankie in a funny visual before heading back in and finishing with the Rude Awakening. There was a good five minutes contained within this ten minutes.

5.6

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

A few gems hidden in a whole lot of nothing. Savage's promo is truly a masterpiece, though.