WWF Superstars of Wrestling (1.31.1987) Review

-Originally aired January 31, 1987.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino, and Jesse Ventura.

TITO SANTANA & PEDRO MORALES vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Slick)
-Santana and Morales attack before the bell, an offensive show of disrespect that appalls Jesse Ventura. Morales punches and claps because he’s proud of himself for punching. Tito tags in and dropkicks Volkoff. Sheik offers a sinister boot from the apron to turn the tide. He tags in and gutwrenches Tito. Melee breaks out and Slick gets involved, drawing the DQ, and Tito slams him down to put a period on the match. Match was fine but the finish was absolutely out of nowhere.

-After the bell, Butch Reed hustles to ringside to check on his manager, and he looks to be ready for a fight with Tito.

UPDATE
-Ricky Steamboat’s own issues with speech therapy have led him to care about the issues of speech-impaired children. Steamboat is with a class of kids who say “I love you” to end the segment.

-Wrestlemania III…March 29!

-A commercial for WWF action figures, from LJN! Gene Okerlund was one hell of a pitchman. He sells these figures with the same conviction that he talked you into buying a pay-per-view.

-Slick writhes in the locker room while Butch Reed promises a natural ass-kicking for Tito.

THE KING (with Bobby Heenan) vs. RAY VANCE
-They’re still experimenting with just announcing him as “The King” but this week, Vince is actually the first one to crack and call him Harley Race.

-JYD, sporting some dashing mutton chops and no beard, vows that The King will never make him bow. Race makes this one quick, finishing Vance in about a minute with a cradle suplex.

-Gene Okerlund is here, and Madison Square Garden had better get ready for the six-man elimination tag team match. Ricky Steamboat and Rowdy Roddy Piper are here, their partner JYD is “walking the dog.” Steamboat’s attention to detail is flawless, as he plays up still working on pronouncing his words clearly as he cuts his entire promo. Savage, Adonis, and Harley Race had better leave Savage’s broad at home and show up ready for a fight.

-Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart are at an Elvis memorabilia store. Honky’s not impressed with any of the Sun Records catalog and promises that all his gold records will be released by Honky Records.

ROUGEAU BROTHERS vs. AL NAVARRO & TIGER CHUNG LEE
-Jacques monkey flips Navarro as Howard Finkel drops in to hype Tuesday night’s big card at Walt Whitman High School’s gymnasium. Great-looking elbow by Jacques, but Chunger breaks the attempted pin. Raymond goes in for the kill with a sleeper as we listen in on Dino Bravo doing guest commentary with the French team. Le Bombe De Rougeau gets the duke.

-Mean Gene hypes the house show in East Rutherford on February 9. This is the third house show for this TV market that we’ve hyped in this hour. Jake Roberts is here and Mean Gene is confused about why Jake signed a match against Kamala. Jake says he’s willing to fight on “either side of the fence.”

-Paul Roma vows that he’s going to get a victory on Steve Lombardi! And then the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing promptly collapses from the weight of all the money being printed from this feud.

ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. JACK KRUGER
-We have to be nearing the end for Kruger as a wrestler because he transitions to World’s Loudest Referee by Wrestlemania III.

-Adonis dumps him out to the floor, then whips him right back in and finishes right away with Good Night Irene.

PIPER’S PIT
-Piper has the trophies from the two previous segments out there, and he doesn’t know why Jesse Ventura is making such a big damn deal out of the two trophy ceremonies, so he invites Jesse over here to ask why Jesse is stirring up dookie over all of these.

-So ONE MORE TIME, Jesse recaps the whole fishy story about the reinstatement hearing. It’s been two months and we still don’t know why Andre got reinstated. Jesse did some digging, and he found out something big…but he won’t say what. He taunts Piper about the fact that he knows and Piper doesn’t, and Piper gets fed up with Jesse’s cuteness, challenging him to a fight on the spot.

-Jesse shifts gears, talking about what a farce the trophy ceremonies were, because Andre went undefeated for 15 years, and Hulk has held a title for three years by ducking people. So Jesse makes a suggestion to Piper. If Piper can get Hulk Hogan to agree to be on Piper’s Pit next week, Jesse will bring Andre the Giant out there. TO BE CONTINUED…

-Outback Jack is at the airport, preparing to come to America, but he’s confounded by sliding doors. He’s sophisticated enough to know what the World Wrestling Federation is and sign a contract, but he can’t handle a door.

HAKU vs. GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Johnny V)
-It’s Danny Davis in there. Haku chops and slams Valentine as Brutus Beefcake drops in to watch his partner in action. Valentine takes over with a clothesline as Tama shows up to keep an eye on things. Haku throws Valentine out to the floor, but throws him out on the wrong side. So when Haku suplexes him back in, Beefcake hooks the ankle and Haku collapses, with Valentine on top for a two-count. Tama is so annoyed that he trips Valentine from the floor a moment later, and Danny Davis immediately sounds the bell and gives the win to Valentine.

-Wrestlemania III…March 29…And this time we get Vince’s deep, throaty announcement of “Bigger…better…BAAAAAADDDDDDDERRRRR.”

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. JERRY ALLEN
-DDT. That was quick.

-The Killer Bees ate a lot of extra honey today, so they’re buzzing with excitement about their next match at MSG.

-Roddy Piper walks into Hulk Hogan’s locker room, and Roddy is really funny, playing this up as a screw-up on his own part and telling Hulk that, uh, well, he kinda, sorta, promised that Hulk would be his guest on the Pit next week. Hogan agrees to show up and Piper is visibly elated because he can stick it in Jesse’s face that he held up his end of the bargain. By the way, I’ve said this before, but after Piper’s face turn, I really liked the detail that he and Hogan still really couldn’t stand each other.

7.5

The final score: review Good

The 411

This episode is incredible in that it makes you truly think you’d be an idiot if you missed next week.