WWWF All-Star Wrestling (2.28.1976) Review

-Back to this until more Prime Time shows up I guess.

-Originally aired February 28, 1976.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Antonino Rocca. They tout the debut of a new star this week: STAN HANSEN!

LOUIS CERDAN & TONY PARISI (Tag Team Champions) vs. COWBOY BOB & BARON MIKEL SCICLUNA
-Hidden highlight of the ring introductions: the world’s surliest referee just pushes Scicluna out of his way to check the turnbuckles. Cowboy Bob is not Bob Orton, Jr. Just some dude who wore a cowboy hat to the ring.

-Parisi & Scicluna go to the mat and Parisi keeps outshining the Baron, and Baron reacts to it like a cartoon character whose cigar just exploded. Scicluna hits the ropes and runs into a hammerlock, and he finally gets fed up and tags in Cowboy Bob. Champs switch off without tagging. Referee actually catches them and just kind of has a “Fuck it” reaction. Vince comes up with a really complicated way of explaining why they’re not actually breaking the rules, reasoning that they were obviously in position to tag and could have if they wanted to.

-Parisi and Cerdan keep switching on Cowboy Bob and roll him up, and Scicluna is so fed up with this bullshit that he breaks a pinfall attempt. Eventually Cowboy Bob makes a tag without the referee seeing it, and Scicluna blows his stack when he’s made to get out of the ring. This is a weird story to tell, as the referee is just completely screwing one team over and the babyface champions are relentless cheaters.

-Scicluna again gets frustrated and just comes in to beat the crap out of Cerdan, referee be damned, and the referee just gives up on this match completely and lets both teams do whatever they want. Cerdan slams Cowboy Bob into position, and Parisi comes off the top with a sit-down splash for three. Just a bizarre match, as all five guys in the ring including the referee looked bad.

BOBO BRAZIL (US Champion) vs. HANS SCHROEDER
-Bobo works the arm but Hans punches out. Captain Lou heads to ringside and calls Hans over, giving him some kind of advice. Hans applies a bearhug based on Captain Lou’s input. Bobo fights out and chokes Hans while daring Captain Lou to come in and do something about it.

-Nerve hold by Bobo. Hans breaks free and hits the ropes, but Bobo hiptosses him and calls it a night with the coco butt for three. Captain Lou hits the ring and he and Hans attack Bobo post match. Hans gets knocked out to the floor, but Captain Lou has orchestrated an odd plan B and all of the heel jobbers storm the ring at once. Bobo fights them off one by one and then coco butts Captain Lou repeatedly when there’s nobody left.

-Vince McMahon is here with THE GRAND WIZARD, the one thing that will keep me from ever giving up on this show. The Grand Wizard promises that Bugsy McGraw has an explosion waiting inside him. He was intentionally holding Bugsy back, but now his patience has run out and he’s ready to push the button and allow Mr. McGraw to explode. Bugsy cuts a promo, giggling and promising to destroy Bobo Brazil to the best of his ability, and then he demands Vince’s respect for using a big word like “ability.” And that’s really the last coherent thing he says, as the promo kind of goes off the rails and you can see why he was eventually changed to a smiling goofy guy who never talked.

STAN HANSEN (with Freddy Blassie) vs. JOHNNY RIVERA
-Hansen goes right after the neck with elbows and boots. Backbreaker by Hansen. Hard shoulderblock by Hansen gets three. Not sure if he mis-aimed for the lariat or if he just hadn’t settled on that yet.

-Wild scene as we go to Vince and Antonino at the commentary table to discuss the match, and you suddenly see Hansen run into the stands, followed by three security guards running toward him full-speed.

KEVIN SULLIVAN & PAT BARRETT vs. BILLY COLEMAN & FABULOUS FRANK MONTE
-Sullivan bears a passing resemblance to Jack Black at this point.

-Sullivan and Monte slug it out. Sullivan gets the better of it by throwing dropkicks. Everybody tags and Coleman gets his arm worked over. Barrett hits his signature “cannonball,” a jawjack, but instead of going for the pin, he demands that Frank Monte tag in. Monte hangs in there and manages to tag Coleman back in. Barrett ties him up in a standing front facelock and Sullivan comes off the top with a sunset flip for three.

DOMINIC DENUCCI vs. LOUIS CYR
-Cyr takes DeNucci down in headscissors, and that is all that happens for the remainder of this lunar cycle until enough pages fall off the calendar in the movie montage that Cyr finally releases and punches and stomps away at Dominic. Cyr works the leg for a bit, and the bell abruptly sounds for a curfew draw. There you have it, Hamburg, Pennsylvania actually enacted a law that would prevent us from sitting through even one more second of this match.

5.0

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

Neat to see Stan Hansen arriving on the scene, and the Wiz always delivers.