YouTubular: Saba Simba

In just about every YouTubular column so far someone has asked, ney demanded, for Saba Simba. And I don’t think it’s been the same deranged wacko over and over again like with the Young Stallions.

Tony Atlas portrayed Saba Simba after returning to WWE after several years away. Simba was supposed to be a warrior of the Ugandan tribe, but the gimmick came off as more racist than a tribute to African tribal courage and nobility. Also, Atlas’ previous stint and persona in WWE was never revealed until Roddy Piper on commentary during a match howled at Atlas playing a supposed African warrior and pretty much killed the gimmick; not that it wasn’t on life support anyway.

Saba Simba vs. The Barbarian
Video Length: 5:25
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This is like Spike TV’s “Deadliest Warrior” realized. Bobby Heenan is still managing Barbarian at this point, so WWE hasn’t given up on him yet. Sean Mooney on commentary tries to reference the “Chattanooga Choo-Choo” to the Chatanooga arena, but Lord Alfred Hayes has no idea what he’s talking about. In the thread for this match someone stated that Mooney and Hayes is the commentary team you hear in hell. You should be thankful to watch wrestling in hell.

They lock up and grapple to start. To show how over both men are, the crowd chants “weasel.” They club each other and Simba whips Barbarian to the far corner, and by that I mean he walks him ever so gently over to it by holding his hand. Ah, I think they’re in love. Barbie reverses a whip and gets a shoulder tackle in the corner. Simba is whipped back to the other corner, but moves on a charge and Barbie posts his shoulder. Simba goes for a cross body and is caught for a backbreaker. Barbie chokes Atlas on the ropes and rakes the eyes. Barbarian works the bearhug. Simba reverses to one of his own, but Barbarian elbows out. He goes for a backdrop, but Simba catches his head and just kinds of shakes it. Even Mooney points out how screwed up that was. Barbie goes down off of a savat kick and Simba drops an elbow and a jumping headbutt. Simba gets the punch count in the corner. Barbarian brings him out for an inverted atomic drop. Barbarian finishes with a flying clothesline. That might just be the match you do watch in hell. ¼*

Saba Simba vs. Bob Bradley
Video Length: 5:06
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This is a cut and paste from the Battle Kat entry. Deal with it. Simba gets some hip tosses and a body slam. Bradley reverses a whip, but Simba moves on the charge and Bradley goes all Marty Jannetty by flipping upside down and backwards on the miss. Bradley falls to the outside and Simba drags him back in over the ropes by the back of the neck. Simba clotheslines Bradley out of the ring. Simba slingshots him back in from the apron. Simba works a standing chinlock, because he’s too lazy to get on the mat. Bradley breaks with a jaw jacker. Bradley makes with the Mongolian chops. He gets a handspring back elbow and chokes Simba on the ropes. Simba ducks a clothesline and Bradley walks into a Samoan drop for the loss. ¼*

Greg Valentine vs. Saba Simba
Video Length: 51 seconds
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Lord Alfred Hayes hosts this short clip that details the Hammer’s face turn. While in a match with Simba, Valentine had him held for a guitar shot by Jimmy Hart. Simba moved and Hart blasted Valentine. While this looks accidental, Hayes calls it “blatant and hostile.” Anyway, Valentine vs. Earthquake is inked for Wrestlemania VII.

Easter Eggs! And with this column we can’t have matches of Atlas in his prime battling legends. Oh no, we have to have recent matches of a broken down, old Atlas getting winded walking to the ring.

Tony Atlas vs. Jumbo Baretta
Video Length: 8:01
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This is from July 2008 in Ultimate Championship Wrestling. It looks like they’re wrestling in someone’s garage. The commentary is intentionally hysterical. My favorite line being a reference to Atlas’ trunks as “Rex Kwon Do pants.” Baretta flexes to intimidate Atlas, who doesn’t seem that impressed. Imagine the love child of King Kong Bundy and D-Lo Brown. Atlas poses back. Baretta jumps Tony from behind and works him over in the corner. Atlas reverses a whip and gets possibly the worst hip toss in recorded history. He gets a better hip toss and a clothesline. Baretta bails. He returns to take an armbar and breaks by pulling on Atlas’ pants. They grapple in the corner with Atlas taking charge. Baretta complains that Atlas is pulling his hair, considering that he’s bald. They get back at it with Baretta getting rocked off of a shoulder block. Baretta backs Tony into the corner and works him over. Atlas takes a knee lift and a leg drop. Baretta works a chinlock. Atlas powers out, but is kicked down. Baretta chokes Atlas with a leg across the throat. In a funny spot, Baretta rocks himself with headbutts on Atlas. Atlas approaches from behind and is mule kicked. Baretta chokes Atlas on the ropes. He blocks a shot to the turnbuckle and takes Jumbo on a tour of the ring, turnbuckle to turnbuckle. Atlas comes off the second rope with…something and wins. DUD.

Tony Atlas vs. Jack Hammer
Video Length: 5:52
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Hammer is managed by The Rev. Diamond Mike and has Amanda Storm with him. This is for World Wide Wrestling Alliance from the summer of 2006. Atlas works an arm wringer. Hammer backs Atlas into the corner and rakes his eyes. We cut to Hammer lying on Atlas in another corner. The ref admonishes Hammer for cheating and Storm chokes Atlas out on the ropes. Hammer goes back to work, but Atlas no sells several shots into the turnbuckle. Atlas does the same trip around the ring he did with Baretta above. Hammer bails. We cut to Hammer getting a sliding shot on a seated Atlas back in the ring. Hammer chokes Atlas on the ropes. The ref pulls him off, allowing more punishment from Storm. Hammer headbutts Atlas and hurts himself. It’s déjà vu all over again. Atlas gets his own head butt and Hammer bails again. They brawl on the floor until both are counted out. The match seemed edited in the right places, but still sucked. DUD. Atlas gets a microphone after the match and talks about what a real American hero is to him. Apparently this was the same week NFL player Pat Tillman was killed in military action.

The 411: There is no denying the fact that Tony Atlas is one of the greatest physical specimens all time in wrestling and certainly deserving of a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame if for no other reason that helping to blaze trails for African-Americans in the sport right up there with Rocky Johnson and Ernie Ladd. However, I would same he might be a prime example of Chris Jericho’s recent rants on superstars who attempt to keep going past their prime. Atlas had certainly lost a step by the time he was playing Saba Simba and the terrible gimmick didn’t help. From the recent matches we can see that Atlas was slumming and doing good just to do so. It’s great that he’s in a role as a manager for WWE now, because being an active in ring wrestler for him needs to as finished as the Simba character.

Final Score:  4.0   [ Poor ]