411’s WWE Raw Report 11.28.05

Cue Raw intro, cue pyros, cue Joey Styles welcoming us to Raw.

Eric Bischoff is in the center of the ring looking pissed off.

Eric: In just a moment I am going to – I’m gonna call every wrestler – who is under contract to Raw – who is back in that locker room – to come down to this ring because I am going to give them a piece of my mind. (BOOS) Because last night at Survivor Series – all of the Raw superstars – they let you people down. But more importantly they let me down. Which is why the first thing I did when I got to the building was put a big ass sign in all of the locker rooms and put everyone on notice that failures like last night at Survivor Series will not be tolerated! So with that in mind – with that in mind – I am ordering every one of the Raw superstars on the roster to get down to this ring and face the music.

(Nobody comes)

Eric: Is there some kind of audio problem? Get down here right now! Fine, you don’t want to come to me – I’m gonna come to you! I’m gonna fire the first person I see.

**NO CHANCE THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE GOT!**

Here is Vince McMahon. Looks like he is a face again? Vince walks like only Vince can walk, baby!

Vince: Uhh…did you say that you are going to fire the first person that you see? By the way, I’m Vince McMahon – I’m the Chairman of the board of the WWE, how you doing? And Eric – I don’t really want you to fire me you see, I love my job. I love this business. You see Eric – you’re not gonna fire me. You’re not gonna fire anybody! See Eric – the reason that these Raw superstars aren’t coming down here to your beckon call is because I told them they didn’t have to. Eric this isn’t about them – this is about you. Now you told me at Survivor Series that you had three goals you were going to accomplish. Number one you said that Team Raw was going to beat Team Smackdown and that didn’t happen did it, Eric? And then you said that you, Eric Bischoff, was going to single-handedly defeat Teddy Long of Smackdown. And that didn’t happen either did it? And what was that third goal – you said that Kurt Angle was going to defeat John Cena for the WWE Title. And that didn’t happen either Eric! You set these goals for yourself and then you fail to reach these goals so some people could construe that – that quite frankly – you’re a failure. Don’t get me wrong you’ve had a little bit of success here and there. You had a little run at WCW until you ran that into the ground. Then again you’ve had some success here on Raw – is that what’s gonna happen now Eric?

Eric: I think my record speaks for itself.

Vince: SHUT UP! Your record sucks! See Eric there’s an expression that perception is reality – perhaps you’ve heard me say that before. Let me say that again – perception is reality. So therefore if these people perceive you to be a failure then they’re gonna perceive Monday Night Raw as a failure. And if they perceive Monday Night Raw as a failure then they’re gonna perceive Vincent Kennedy McMahon as a failure. I may be a lot of things, Eric – but a failure is not among them. So therefore, I’m giving you a simple ultimatum. And that is set a goal – I don’t care what it is – set a goal and achieve it. That’s fair enough, right? For a change – set a goal and accomplish it. And if you don’t I could very well be looking for a new General Manager on Raw.

Eric: With all due respect – you and I both know that it’s not as easy as it sounds. Despite all my so-called deficiencies. The fact is that sine 2002 I’ve held this show together. Look at Smackdown – the GM spot there has been a revolving door. I’ve been doing a pretty good job. I just think – well honestly – I’d ask you to reconsider. I really don’t think you’ll have that easy of a time finding someone to replace me.

Vince: Would you repeat that last line?

Eric: I don’t think you could find anybody that could possibly replace me.

Vince: Really?

Eric: I’m sure.

(Vince looks to the back)

**HERE COMES THE MOOOOONEY**

Here is Shane F’n McMahon!! Woohooo!! Shane O’Mac ladies and gents. Shane shares a hug with his daddy.

Shane on the mic: You know Eric – I’ve never really liked you. And I’m actually looking forward to seeing you go. But as far as it goes to answer your question – who else could replace you? Well, you’re looking at him. I was born to do this job.

Bischoff hits the road while Shane and Vince do a little dirty dancing in the center of the ring.

Shawn Michaels will go one-on-one with Carlito….NEXT!

Ad Break

We’re back as Joey and King say that it wasn’t Eric’s night last night and possibly not tonight as well.

**Oh…ohhhhh….Shaaaaaaawn**

Here is The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. And now they are experiencing technical difficulties so that sucks. Ahhhh…we’re back alive and well.

**I Spit In The Face of People Who Don’t Want To Be Cool**

And here is his opponent, Carlito.

Carlito on a WWE.com Exclusive says that he should have been the captain last night. If he had been they would have won.

Match 1: Carlito vs. Shawn Michaels

Carlito spits in the face of Shawn. Shawn nails Carlito with a right. Carlito returns the favor. On the outside now as Carlito chokes out Shawn with his shirt. Back in the ring – knife-edge by Shawn. And another. Shawn goes for another, but Carlito moves out of the way and lands a very innovative backbreaker. Wow, that was sweet. Carlito stomping on HBK. Side headlock rolled into a front face lock by Carlito. Shawn fights his way to his feet and counters the hold, but Carlito gets him back in the side headlock. Carlito off the ropes and drops Shawn with a shoulderblock. Carlito off the ropes and Shawn lands a side hip toss. Another side headlock takeover for Carlito. Shawn sends Carlito into the ropes, Carlito slides back, waistlock switch by Michaels – goes for a rollup but Carlito holds on and sends HBK to the outside. HBK holds on like only HBK can do and pulls himself back up on the apron, but Carlito knocks him to the floor. Carlito flies through the ropes and sends HBK sprawling. Back in the ring now – Carlito covers Shawn for a two count. Carlito stomping and pounding away on Michaels with left feet and hands. Carlito showing a lot more intensity. Carlito with a knife-edge chop as Michaels lies in the corner. Reversed by Michaels into a knife-edge of his own. Carlito reverses again and lands one of his own. And another reverse and another knife-edge. Carlito reverses again and nails left hands now. Michaels reverses a whip, Carlito hops up on the top rope and comes off with a cross body for two. Both men exchanging knife-edge chops now. Michaels off the ropes – FLYING BURRITO! KIP UP! But his knee buckled, and he is rolling to the outside. Baseball slide by Carlito sends Michaels sprawling on the outside again.

Ad Break (6:26)

Ad Break Ends (9:55)

We’re back live as Carlito is working over that left knee with a single-leg boston crab. Carlito with a roll-up gets a two count. HBK really selling that left leg as Carlito and him exchange knife-edges. Carlito whips HBK into the buckle and meets the boot of Michaels. HBK up to the top rope, but Carlito ends that by dropping him on his jewels. Carlito now climbing up after HBK. Carlito going for a belly to back off the top, but HBK fights him off and Carlito hits the mat. Shawn ascends the turnbuckle. Elbow drop – GOT IT! HBK struggling to capitalize on the elbow drop from the top rope, though. Shawn calling for the Sweet Chin Music. 1…2….3….4…..5…..6….he goes for it, but he can’t get the leg up high enough. DDT by Carlito! 1….2….NO! Carlito goes for the vertical suplex, but Shawn slides off the back and comes up short on the Sweet Chin Music again. Carlito goes for the reverse DDT, but Shawn escapes. Carlito messes around with the ref for a little while and walks into the….SWEET CHIN MUSIC! That’s all.

WINNER: Shawn Michaels (13:38)

Bischoff is back in his office. Kurt Angle walks in and says last night at Survivor Series was the biggest screw job in WWE history. Angle mentions Daiviri was the assigned referee, and not a Smackdown referee. Daiviri talks his nonsense. Kurt says “that’s right.” What the Boogeyman did to Bischoff last night is nothing compared to what Kurt will do to Eric if he doesn’t get what he wants.

Ad Break

We’re back as they show us how the Big Show was eliminated last night. Two clotheslines from hell, an RKO, a 619, and a drop of the dime later and Big Show was gone. Tomorrow night it’s David vs. Goliath as Rey Mysterio takes on Big Show on the Smackdown special.

Joey says that the Last Man Standing Match will be burned into our memories forever. They show us highlights from that very match.

Bischoff in his office again and is very stressed out. Maria walks in and asks if he’s ok. Eric says he’s been better.

Maria: I just wanted to ask you if you think you’re gonna get fired tonight.

Eric: What did you just ask me?

Maria: Are you going to get fired tonight?

Eric: Why would you – who told you to come in here and ask me that?

Maria: Shane McMahon – he thought it would be a good idea to come in here and ask you.

Eric: Let me tell you something – I’m still the General Manager of Raw so you know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna send you out to that ring to have a match with Kurt Angle.

Maria: But I’m an interviewer – not a wrestler.

Eric: Congratulations – tonight you’re a wrestler. Because Vince McMahon wanted me to set a goal for myself. My goal is to never hear you ask another question again. Especially a stupid question. Now get out of my face and into that ring! Or you’re fired!

Ad Break

We’re back and Maria is in the ring awaiting her opponent.

**Heeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa**

That’s Daiviri’s music for those who don’t speak Arabic. Daiviri starts to badmouth Maria and Chad Patton pushes him out of the way. Haha – Daiviri wants to referee this match.

Daiviri: I referee all of Kurt Angle’s matches!

Chad Patton lands a stiff right to the face of Daiviri, and that sends Daiviri out of here. Nope – guess not, Daiviri attacks Chad Patton from behind and stomps away on him. Camel Clutch on Patton! We just got a nice shot of Maria’s ass.

**Angle’s music hits**

They’re still censoring the “YOU SUCK” chants. Angle grabs the mic.

Angle: Cut the music. Maria – listen – don’t be afraid. I’m not gonna hurt you. This is Eric Bischoff’s idea. This is a stupid idea. I’m a gentleman – I don’t wrestle women. So don’t be afraid. All I want you to do is give me a hug, and we’ll call it a day. Just come out here. I’m a gentleman. You’ve got my word.

Maria gives Kurt a hug. ANGLE SLAM!! Ankle lock! Here is John Cena!! Shoulder block and clothesline sends Angle to the outside. Chris Masters is here! Master Lock on Cena! Angle kicks away at Cena while Masters holds him in the Master Lock.

Eric on the mic: Hold on Kurt. You’ve got to save a little bit for later on. I’m gonna give you what you want. And Masters I’m gonna give you what you want too. Mr. McMahon wants me to have a goal, huh? My goal is to see Cena tap out and lose the WWE championship. So let’s make it official. Tonight – live on Raw it will be Cena defending the WWE Championship against Kurt Angle……..and Chris Masters in a No DQ, no count out, triple threat, submission match!

Angle and Masters are pleased so they celebrate by having Angle give Cena an Angle Slam.

Ad Break

We’re back live and we re-live the Angle/Maria/Masters/Cena/Bischoff/Daiviri situation.

**Trish Stratus’ music hits**

Trish Stratus is here with Mickie James.

**Be Yourself…..**

And their tag team partner from New York City, Ashley. God, she is hot.

**Let Me Show You What Love Is….**

From Milwaukee, Wisconsin – Candice Michelle. Candice has a nice, new outfit.

**I Ain’t The Lady To Mess With**

Her tag team partner, Victoria. And guess who’s back – from Boise, Idaho, Torrie Wilson. I haven’t watched for a couple weeks so maybe she was back before this.

Match 2: Trish Stratus, Mickie James, and Ashley vs. Victoria, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson

Torrie starts with Mickie. Torrie slaps Mickie and uses a waistlock to send her to the apron. Mickie sends Torrie faces into the turnbuckle. Mickie off the ropes and lands a cross body block – cover gets 2. Tag to Ashley. Ashley to the top lands a double sledge on Torrie. Huge clothesline by Torrie out of nowhere. Torrie tags in Candice. Wishbone by Candice and Torrie. Candice to the top with some sort of head scissors, but Ashley breaks free and shoves Torrie to the floor. Tag to Victoria. Victoria with a snap suplex gets a two count. Victoria locks on a front chin lock. Ashley fights out with some elbows, but Victoria clubs her from behind. Standing body slam by Victoria again. Victoria on the outside – goes for a slingshot somersault but misses. Ashley goes to tag Trish, but Mickie tags herself in. Mickie with some jabs on Victoria. Mickie off the ropes – flying body press again. Spinning heel kick by Mickie gets two as Candice makes the save. Mickie sends her to the outside, but Victoria nails a clothesline on Mickie. Victoria whips Mickie into the turnbuckle but she gets an elbow. Head scissors by James in the corner. Stratus-faction by Mickie James. Torrie Wilson comes into the ring, but Trish stops her from breaking up the count. Cover and count – that’s all!

WINNER: Mickie James, Trish Stratus, and Ashley (4:16)

Mickie gets Trish’s belt and holds it up to the crowd. Trish is a little dismayed! Mickie finally gives up the belt.

Big Show and Kane will defend the tag titles against Snitsky and Tomko. And of course we have the Triple Threat Submission Match for the WWE Title.

Ad Break

Bischoff is on the phone and says “I’m not interested in your opinion.” Knock on the door and it’s Shane O’Mac. Eric says he will accomplish his goal tonight when Cena taps out. Shane says we’re talking about John Cena here, not Maria. Eric says that Shane is nothing more than a card-carrying member of the lucky sperm club. Shane grabs him and shoves him up against the wall. He says – “don’t you ever disrespect me!”

Angle getting a shoulder rub from Daiviri in the back.

Angle: No count out, no disqualification, submission only. Cena doesn’t have a chance in hell at winning this match. Especially with my own personal referee calling it right down the middle. As soon as I put on a hammer lock what are you gonna do?

Daiviri: I’m gonna ring that bell.

Masters walks in and says that if Daiviri screws Cena, Daiviri screws him. Masters says he went to Vince McMahon, and Daviri can take off that referee shirt because he has the night off. Tonight they have a “fresh, impartial referee for my first WWE title match.”

Ad Break

We’re back and we get a video montage of the WWE Survivor Series tour in Europe.

We’re back live as Shelton Benjamin is in the ring.

And his opponent, Trevor Murdoch.

Match 3: Shelton Benjamin vs. Trevor Murdoch

Shelton beats Trevor to the punch and lands a right before the bell rings. Murdoch to the outside. Shelton climbs to the top and lands a flying clothesline to the outside. Stinger Splash attempt is thwarted and Murdoch pulls him off the top and begins to stomp on Shelton. Cover gets 1.5. Murdoch with a standing press slam. To the middle rope, jumps off, catches Shelton’s foot, goes for an elbow drop, but Shelton moves out of the way. Clothesline by Shelton. Back body drop by Sleton. Spinning side kick by Shelton. Cover gets 2. Flying clothesline by Shelton is missed. Face first maneuver by Murdoch. Cover gets 2. Shelton back in control. Shelton off the top with a sunset flip, but he couldn’t hold on. Murdoch slaps away on Shelton’s back. Shelton fighting back now with some rights. Whip by Shelton into the buckle. Stinger Splash on Murdoch. Roll-up out of nowhere by Murdoch, grabs the tights, and that’s all she wrote.

WINNER: Trevor Murdoch (3:08)

Triple H walks in the back. He has demanded a microphone.

Ad Break

We’re back and Triple H is already making his way down to the ring.

HHH on the mic: It’s been brought to my attention that some of you think I’m not a compassionate man, but you’re wrong. I’m a regular humanitarian. Look at last night for example. When they took Ric Flair out of Joe Louis Arena, I personally made sure that they took Ric to the finest hospital in Detroit. I put him in his own private suite. I made sure he had a nice giant plasma screen TV on that wall. And I made damn sure that they had the USA Network because I didn’t want Ric to miss one single moment of Raw. That’s the kind of guy I am. Now Ric – I know you’re sitting in your hospital bed and you’re watching me right now and I just have to say one thing to you Ric – stay down. Stay down. I know somewhere in the back of your mind I can come back from this. I can be the Nature Boy again – but Ric you can’t. Come to terms with the fact that Ric Flair is gone. And Ric quite honestly I don’t see what you’re upset about. You couldn’t’ have written a better exit from this business if you tried. Look at it like this – you got to go out on top. You got to go out going two back-to-back pay per views with the greatest wrestler alive today. And Ric – you know as well as I do there is no shame in you losing to the best. So Ric, when they let you out of that hospital – go home. Live out what’s left of the rest of your life and don’t come back here. Because Ric – you are not wanted anymore. You have a problem with that? You disagree with what I’ve done to the Nature Boy? Is that it? The problem is you know I’m right – you know it’s what needed to be done. The only reason you’re mad is because none of you would ever have the guts to do anything about it. That’s what separates people like me from people like you. You will sit on your ass and talk about it while people like me do something about it. And sure – you can sit out there in that crowd. You can hide behind the anonymity of the mob. And you can run me down. But the fact is – there is not a man alive that will look me in the eye and tell me to my face. So if anybody….

**WEEEEELLLL…..WELL It’s The Big Show**

Big Show makes his way to the ring. Oh hell yes!

Big Show on mic: I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve let a lot of the things that you’ve done slide. But after what you did to Ric Flair, I’m here to tell you to your face, eye to eye, man to man – Hunter you’re a piece of shit. You think you’re a tough guy. See I don’t need a sledgehammer to put someone out of their misery. I can do it with my own bare hands. I told you a few weeks ago that your time was coming. Your time is here now. Question is – do you have the guts to fight me now?!

Trips backs off and tries to get Show to calm down.

HHH: You know what the problem is….

Show knocks the microphone out of Triple H’s hands. Triple H heads out of the ring and back up the ramp. I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of a Big Show/Triple H confrontation tonight.

Ad Break

Match 4: Kane and Big Show vs. Tyson Tomko and Snitsky

We’re back as Kane is pounding on Tomko. Tomko sends Kane into a big Snitsky boot. Cover gets 1. Tomko tags in Snitsky. Snitsky with the irish whip, ducks his head, and Kane sends him straight into the mat. Tag to my new favorite wrestler, Big Show. Clothesline by Show on Snitksy. And again on Tomko. Side slam on Tomko. Cover gets 2 as Snitsky makes the save. Kane on the top rope and he comes off with a big Kane-line. Kane sends Snitsky to the outside. Tomko into the corner. Show whips Kane into Tomko who lands a clothesline. Chokeslam by Show on Tomko. That’s all.

WINNERS: Kane and Big Show (2:06)

Cena, Angle, and Masters is NEXT!

Ad Break

Kurt Angle is already in the ring. Chris Masters comes out to his regular entrance. He really needs to shorten that up a bit.

And fainlly…….the CHAMP IS HERE!!!

Match 5: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Masters

Cena goes after Angle before the bell. And there it is. Angle and Masters take control over Cena as they pound away on him two-on-one. Elbow drop by Masters. Double suplex by Angle and Masters on Cena. Angle double crosses Masters and gives him a boot. Cena is up and pounding back and forth with Angle. Down goes Angle. Angle back up and Cena lands a clothesline. Elbow by Cena on Masters sends him to the floor. F U attempt by Cena is reversed into an ANKLE LOCK! But Masters is back in and he has the Master Lock on Angle. Cena is rolling to the outside, and Masters has it locked on in the center of the ring! Angle is fading. John Cena finally comes back in to save his title. Cena pounding away on Masters, but Masters lands a swift kick to the knee of Cena. Vertical suplex by Masters on Cena as he lets Cena’s blood rush to his head. I think I am hearing a “Cena Sucks” chant. Masters locks in the Master Lock on Cena now! Cena is fading down on two knees now. Angle in the ring and he nails Masters from behind. Angle unloading with haymakers on Masters now. Angle backs Masters into the corner. Whip by Angle is reversed by Masters. Angle goes in chest first, backs up, and into the Master Lock. No – Angle slides out and he has now locked on the Angle Lock! Cena up to the top rope and he comes off with a double axehandle on Kurt Angle to break up the ankle lock. Flying shoulder block by Cena. Two quick clotheslines. Belly to back sit down powerbomb by Cena! You Can’t See Me – Masters breaks it up with a massive clothesline! The straps are off for Angle as he heads to the outside. Angle brings a chair into the ring. Angle going for a shot to Cena, but Cena got the foot up and it nails Angle! Huge shot to the leg by Cena on Masters with the chair. And again! STF by CENA!! Masters taps!

WINNER: John Cena (7:15)

Vince and Shane in the back. Vince says: “Next week, time to take out the trash.”