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Didn’t I just do this last night?

-Jericho and Adamle talk backstage, there is some issues from last week and Jericho is NOT happy about Cyber Sunday. Adamle reminds Jericho that he is only champion because Adamle put him in the scramble match. Tonight Jericho and Batista will wrestle, not each other, and they will pick each other’s opponents. Jericho threatens to call Shane and Stephanie, but Adamle says that they turn off their phones during the show. Jericho promises to get to them another way. He then walks past Noble and Mickie texting, which he doesn’t approve of.

-Cole and Lawler welcome us to the show.

~DEAR SHANE AND STEPH…~
Jericho comes to the ring to talk to Shane and Stephanie about Cyber Sunday. He is not happy that the WWE Universe gets to pick the referee for his match. The choices are all flawed. Orton could cost him the title, he doesn’t even have to explain why HBK doesn’t work due to their history, and then there is Austin. He has bragged for 7-years that he beat him and the Rock in the same night, and he expects a stunner in retaliation just because Austin can. He begs Shane and Steph to overrule Adamle’s decision as soon as possible. His title run shouldn’t end to an unbiased official or due to the decisions of a bunch on hypocrites and their cell phones. He thinks that it is unfair that they are basically giving Batista the title due to the stipulations.

HBK makes his way to the ring and says that nothing would thrill him more than to come out here and tell Jericho if he gets voted in that he would put all differences aside and call the match down the middle. He would like to say that it is better that he win, so that he can challenge and beat Jericho for the title. He would like to say that, but he can’t because if he gets voted in as the referee he will do everything he can to make Cyber Sunday hell for Jericho. He won’t beg for voted, but he will do what others want to. So he attacks Jericho, but he manages to escape. Jericho then says Batista’s opponent tonight is HBK.

-Rey will face Kane at Cyber Sunday and the fans will vote for the match: Falls Count Anywhere, No Holds Barred or 2 of 3 Falls Match.

-Johnny Knoxville is here.

Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry and Kane

Matt and Henry to begin. Matt runs wild to begin, but Henry gets a slam to stop that. Misses an elbow drop, 2nd rope elbow by Matt and then another. To the 2nd rope again, and a tornado DDT connects for 2. TOF countered by Henry, Kane distracts Matt and Henry drops him with a clothesline. Tag to Kane and he beats down Matt in the corner. Tag back to Henry, he lays the boots to Matt and then delivers clubbing shots to the neck. Henry applies the neck crank now, and then kicks to the back. Back to the neck crank, Matt to his feet and then eats a big boot. A tag to Kane and he covers for 2. Kane applies the chinlock, Matt works to his feet and escapes but is whipped to the corner. A boot to Kane, Matt charges him and takes a right to the face. Kane snags up Matt, but he escapes and gets a DDT. Both men are down, tag to Rey and he flies in with the seated senton. Double stomp to Kane gets 1. Tilt a whirl into an inverted DDT for 2. Rey dropkicks Henry, boot to Kane and then gets a RANA. 619 lands. Matt dives onto Henry, caught by Rey doves onto them and wipes them out. Matt and Henry brawl to the back, Rey flies in and eats a big boot and Kane pins him.

Winners: Mark Henry and Kane @ 6:00 via pin

-Kane lays the boots to Rey after the match, GOOZLE and Rey escapes and kicks Kane to the floor.

-Todd talks with Batista. He knows that Jericho is not stupid and he respects HBK, but will take him out if he has too.

-JBL makes his way to the ring and grabs the mic. Everywhere he goes people discuss the economy, and the basic fundamentals of banks failing. Will people lose their homes, 401K and such. They ask like he will help them, and he says there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the bail out plan. It ensures the fact that he keeps all of his money, but he is also making bank. Congress know the poor will always be here, but the rich need to be taken care of at all extremes. He is a real American, and as he says that, HAAS HOGAN COMES TO THE RING! HOLY SHIT I LOVE LIFE!

JBL vs. HAAS HOGAN

HAASAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD! A boot by JBL and to the corner they go. Rights by JBL, and then he slams HAAS HOGAN to the corner. To another and HAAS HOGAN HAAS’S UP~! YOU! Rights by HAAS HOGAN, off the ropes and the BIG BOOT! Misses the leg drop, clothesline from hell and that is all.

Winner: JBL @ 1:00 via pin

-I don’t care that he lost, HAAS HOGAN is all that is right with life.

-Todd is with Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius from Jackass. They show photos they did of them mocking Khali. Knoxville says he has nothing to do with that, but they are enjoying the show. They want to see midgets.

-We get a video package for John Cena.

~THE LEGEND KILLER SPEAKS…~
Orton is out and complains that no one had kind words for him when he got hurt. He broke his collarbone and finished his match. Apparently he is no John Cena, thankfully. As for Cyber Sunday, do NOT vote for him because he doesn’t want to risk injury so close to his return. And it doesn’t matter who he faces, because he will become champion again, and we have so say in the matter.

-Batista walks.

-Jericho announces that this will be a lumberjack match. All of the heels now come out to the ring.

LUMBERJACK MATCH: Batista vs. HBK

J.I.P. with Batista shooting HBK off the ropes and delivering a shoulder block. HBK escapes a slam, and then Batista goes for the figure four but HBK escapes to the floor. He gets beat down, tossed back in and then after escaping a Batista bomb, HBK gets the figure four on Batista. Batista rolls it, HBK releases and then tries the shin breaker, Batista stops that and shoots him off the ropes, and a neck breaker by HBK takes Batista down. To the corner and chops by HBK, a whip, reversal and then the corner clothesline by Batista. A powerslam follows and Batista covers for 2. A body scissors and chinlock by Batista follows, but HBK escapes and delivers forearms to Batista. Off the ropes and Batista manages a backdrop and then covers for 2. The side back breaker from Batista follows and he then covers for 2. Back to the body scissor and chinlock goes Batista. HBK works for the ropes, and finally gets them. Batista lays the boots to the back of HBK, to the corner and a whip by Batista, he stops oddly and then HBK gets a boot that drops Batista. HBK tries a slam, but his back gives out and Batista kills him with a clothesline for 2. Off the ropes, knee lift by HBK and then after counters and a skin the cat by HBK, Batista gets a Boss Man Slam for 2. Batista sets for the spear, but then clotheslines HBK to the floor. Mark Henry gets the bear hug and then rolls HBK back in and Batista covers for 2. We head to a commercial @ 9:00.

Back from commercial @ 12:00 and Batista has a bear hug and then slams HBK to the corner. Jericho watches the match from backstage. Batista sent to the floor, Orton misses the concussion kick, and Batista is back in the ring unharmed. HBK gets the flying forearm, KIP UP, and he goes up top. Unfortunately for him JBL tosses him off of the top rope and BOTH men are down! The ref counts, they get to their feet and a spinebuster by Batista. Batista bomb try, HBK counters and they topple to the floor. The lumberjacks SWARM them and HBK and Batista fight for their lives. They make it back into the ring, but they follow and we’ll get a no contest.

Winner: No Contest @ 15:00

-HBK and Batista fight off the goof troop and survive to fight another day. Batista and HBK stare down and Batista extends the hand, and they shake. Chris Jericho does NOT APPROVE!

-I am so sick of the “WWE Universe” deal, they are driving it into the ground.

-Santino and Beth come to the ring. We see short videos for Piper, Goldust and Honky. Santino busts out the HONKAMETER! Honky reached 64 weeks, Santino is at 9 weeks. He says in one year he will be weeks away from beating the record. As for Cyber Sunday, if you text the racist term Honky, he will face him. Or you can vote for the ladies, Goldust and his good friend Rodney the Piper. Santino then mentions the Jackass guys, and invites Knoxville into the ring. He promises no mustard on his privates. Ok. Santino went to his website and asks why he would make fun of Khali. Knoxville says he was just asking about Khali’s dick, and then calls Beth a man. Beth slaps him and then drops him while trying to give him a body slam. Oops. Hornswoggle is out and gives Knoxville a tadpole splash.

-Chris Pontius comes into the ring and looks to help Knoxville, and BIG FAT NAKED GUY comes to the ring, rips off his gear and dances. He has some old Billy Gunn tights on. Pontius then strips and does his wacky dance. AND NOW THE BOOGEYMAN COMES TO THE RING! BOOGEYMAN DANCE! He clotheslines Pontius and then spits worms into his mouth. Knoxville asks for some water and grabs the mic. He says it wasn’t that bad and pimps the Jackass website. AND HERE COMES KHALI. Knoxville laughs, Khali laughs with him and then as Knoxville insinuates that Khali has a tiny dick, he gets a soothing head massage followed by the tree slam.

-Miz and Morrison say that they are more gangasta than Cryme Tyme. They rap, Jillian screeches along with them.

Cryme Tyme (JTG and Shad) and Kelly Kelly vs. The Miz, John Morrison and Jillian Hall

Hall and Kelly to begin, rights and forearms by Hall, off the ropes and a boot by Kelly. Kelly does her slow ass lucha spot and then gets a clothesline for 2. A head scissors follows, and then Miz and JTG are tagged in. Knees, a snap mare and then rolling neck snap by JTG all connect. As Hall screams, Miz gets a stroke variation on JTG. Double team slingshot/catapult deal by Miz and Morrison gets 2. Morrison lays the boots to JTG, a neck breaker follows and he covers for 3. Morrison works the chinlock, JTG escapes and then gets an uppercut to Morrison. Rolls and gets the tag. Shad is a house of fire and just beats the shit out of Morrison for 2. Everyone is in now, the ladies roll to the floor and JTG hits Morrison with the Mighty Ducks Mask, and the STGHETTO by Shad finishes it.

Winners: Cryme Tyme (JTG and Shad) and Kelly Kelly @ 4:00 via pin

-We get highlights of the Big Show destroying the Undertaker at No Mercy.

-Cyber Sunday hype.

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