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411’s Instant Analysis 05.04.12: WWE SmackDown
It’s finals week at the University of Texas, I’m graduating in a little over a week, moving to Los Angeles in two, and I have one final episode of Shenanigans to put out (an hour long finale). In other words, I’m busy as hell. I’ve relinquished the Contentious Ten for a few weeks until I’m settled into my new apartment in L.A., and am not yet sure if I’ll get to this every week either. That said, I did it this week, so here we go.
Here are my policies for this column:
-I do not watch or rate recaps or video packages (unless it’s an impending debut or return).
-My ratings reflect full segments and are not indicative of star ratings for matches.
-I tend to watch with a positive outlook.
-There will be no TNA bashing here.
SEGMENT ONE: Sheamus Loves to Fight
I feel like the WWE likes having Irish gimmicks who love to fight. That’s exactly the point Sheamus drove home in the opening segment. Then he went on to steal Bryan’s catchphrase. Good segment that made the champ look strong in victory but we didn’t exactly learn anything new.
After that promo, Bryan came out and we got a rematch between the two that allowed Bryan to look absolutely tenacious against the Great White. The arm work looked convincing (as always when Bryan targets a limb). As always, I want Bryan’s TV matches to go longer, but I’m now getting on the “I want Sheamus’ matches to go longer” bandwagon as well. He’s been very impressive in the ring over the past year, quietly improving, and he’s finally at a point where he can shine. It’s a shame they ended the match the way they did, but they didn’t punk Bryan out (no pun intended) because he has a WWE Championship match at the next PPV. It’s also very clever heel booking to transition to Alberto Del Rio as challenger as both he and Bryan work over Sheamus’s arm. It gives him no time to recover and a larger obstacle in the path of the protagonist leads to a greater triumph.
Match Result: Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan by disqualification
Match Length: Three minutes
Rating: 7.5 out of 10
SEGMENT TWO: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Hunico & Camacho
I feel like Hunico has been so underdeveloped on WWE television that I have virtually no reason to care about him. That’s twice as true for Camacho. That being said, he’s actually pretty decent in the ring now that he’s allowed to wrestle like himself and not like Sin Cara. This was a pretty fun match actually. Nothing to go out of your way to watch, but it was a solid first match for the champs since winning the titles. They got a good showing, and their opponents didn’t look weak. That being said, we knew who was winning because Epico and Primo (with Abraham Washington and the lovely Rosa Mendes) were watching from the ramp.
Match Result: R-Truth pinned Camacho
Match Length: Four minutes
Rating: 6.0 out of 10
SEGMENT THREE: Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger
I really feel bad for Dolph Ziggler. He’s got “total package” all over him, but he’s stuck in a midcard feud that is doing nothing for his career. The problem here is that everyone in the equation (Brodus, Swagger, Ziggler, and Vickie) all have the potential to be successful in a main event angle (although Brodus is a stretch). This match was basically nothing but Ziggler trying to help Swagger get the victory over Clay. After Clay threw Ziggler around a little too much, Swagger bailed on the match because he wasn’t able to use the numbers game to his advantage. It’s a simple and effective story, and it’s not like the match was sloppy or anything like that, but it was just too short for anyone to care.
Match Result: Brodus Clay beat Jack Swagger by countout
Match Length: Two minutes
Rating: 3.0 out of 10
SEGMENT FOUR: Backstage with Eve, Danny, and Al
Bryan and Del Rio argued over Del Rio’s involvement at the start of the show, and naturally Del Rio was lobbying for only himself to Eve. Bryan tried to take control and demand a rematch with Sheamus, but then Eve was all “oh, I make the decisions around here, not you. And I’m taller than you” (it was in her body language, not her words) and Bryan backed off. Eve’s actually excelling in this role she’s playing and this little nugget was surprisingly enjoyable.
Rating: 6.0 out of 10
SEGMENT FIVE: Damien Sandow’s In-Ring Debut/Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman
Before the match even started, I loved two things. First off is Sandow’s entrance music. Second? Derrick freaking Bateman! The man that should have won NXT Season 4 (mostly because the stakes there were a tag title opportunity with their pro, and Bateman had great chemistry with Bryan).
Sandow then made a great little heel move in the ring in which he basically just put himself above everyone else and said we don’t deserve to see him wrestle. That is totally in character based on the promos we’ve gotten and I thought it was a great booking decision. Hopefully it doesn’t drag on and happen every week for the next two months, but for the first impression I loved it.
As for the match itself, it didn’t happen. We got a “Bate and switch” (see what I did there??), and Ryback came out to destroy Bateman. Not exactly how I wanted Bateman’s first singles match on SmackDown to go, but it’s a step up for Ryback’s squashes: from non-contracted jobbers to contracted ones. And much like that progression would suggest, Bateman had the best showing out of all of Ryback’s victims – he got off a couple forearms at the start of the match. Hopefully Bateman is brought back to make a name for himself. Anyways, these two segments count as one and worked well enough for me. It did nothing but progress careers of YOUNG superstars, which I will always support.
Match Result: Ryback pinned Derrick Bateman
Match Length: One minute
Rating: 6.0 out of 10
SEGMENT SIX: Kane & Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show & Randy Orton
Cody Rhodes was in there with three former World Champions and in no way did he look out of place. I just want to point that out. As for the match itself, Randy made the start of the match look great as he took it to Cody. When we came back from commercial, we had an absolutely hungry Rhodes dominating Show. Down the stretch, we were treated to a fun ending sequence. I liked this match more than I probably should have, but everyone looked good. Show and Kane proved that when they want to be, they’re two of the best big men of all time, Cody is toward the top of the list of guys who deserve to be elevated to the main event level, and Randy Orton is always on his game these days.
Match Result: The Big Show pinned Cody Rhodes
Match Length: Eleven minutes shown
Rating: 8.0 out of 10
SEGMENT SEVEN: Layla vs. Natalya
Anytime Layla is on my screen, I’m tempted to give the segment an automatic 10 just because she’s so unfairly good-looking, but I’ll be objective. First of all, Layla’s in-ring work has gotten SO crisp in the past year and a half. It was a big blow to the division when she got injured. So naturally a match with Natalya is going to be good. The only problem is that it was only two minutes – not exactly enough time to tell the story they seemed to want (Layla’s rusty and therefore outmatched, but she prevails). That, and the Layout was hit way too abruptly. The end came out of nowhere which I guess helped to sell the flukey nature of her reign thus far, but whatever. I’ve accepted that the WWE doesn’t utilize what they have in their woman’s division.
Match Result: Layla pinned Natalya
Match Length: Two minutes
Rating: 5.0 out of 10
SEGMENT EIGHT: Teddy Oils Up Cesaro
I see what they were going for, and the way Teddy sold the situation actually made me laugh slightly, but I didn’t need this segment. Short though, so not a huge detriment to the show.
Rating: 3.0 out of 10
SEGMENT NINE: AJ Apologizes to Kaitlyn
DAMN! AJ’s gonna knock a tooth out of Kaitlyn’s mouth if she’s keeps slapping her so hard! I haven’t loved a psycho Diva this much since crazy Mickie James and Victoria before that.
Rating: 8.0 out of 10
SEGMENT TEN: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: Take Two
I’m never going to complain about this match-up, even if it’s the second time in a night. Sheamus came out as the fighting champion, but his injury caught up with him quickly and Bryan was on him like an attack dog. Bryan has really found a style that negates the size problem that he faces against Sheamus and in the WWE in general. He was able to control the champ for several minutes. Why wasn’t he allowed to wrestle like this when he was the World Heavyweight Champion? He got to shine, but they booked him against Henry and Show so much that it would have been unrealistic. Sheamus was great in his selling here. Big props to Bryan for his yelling “hit me!” at the wounded Celtic warrior. I would have never guessed that Sheamus would have been booked to have a “lucky” win against Bryan, but it doesn’t hurt Sheamus any and gives Bryan some needed credibility. This was a fantastic main event and easily the best part of the show in my opinion. That Brogue Kick spot that ended the match was sick.
Match Result: Sheamus pinned Daniel Bryan
Match Length: Ten minutes shown
Rating: 9.0 out of 10
Segment of the Night: The main event (Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan) Trash Segment of the Night: Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger Final Analysis: For the record, that trash segment was only so bad because I feel that all of the men in that angle deserve better than really short throwaway matches that do nothing for all involved. The Bryan/Sheamus stuff delivered big time as we’ve come to expect from both of those men on a consistent basis, and it’s almost a shame that Del Rio came back when he did because I wouldn’t mind one more big PPV encounter between them before moving on from the feud. That being said, if tonight’s the last we get of the feud for a while, it was a great way to go out. We also got the bit with Sandow tonight which was fun, our Ryback squash of an actually contracted jobber for once, and DAMN did AJ slap the face off of Kaitlyn’s face! Verdict: 8.1 411 RATINGS SCALE: |
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