wrestling / TV Reports
Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 4.06.15
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As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.
MONDAY NIGHT RAW 4.06.15
OFFICIAL RESULTS
~ Randy Orton defeated Kane @ 6:50 via DQ [*½]
~ Non-Title Match: Champion Seth Rollins defeated Neville @ 11:45 via pin [**½]
~ Open Challenge US Champion John Cena defeated Stardust @ 13:10 via pin [***]
~ Naomi and Paige defeated The Bellas @ 4:59 via pin [*]
~ Ryback defeated Luke Harper @ 2:42 via pin [NR]
~ Lucha Dragons defeated New Day @ 2:56 via pin [NR]
~ Roman Reigns defeated Big Show @ 10:37 via pin [*½]
~ Sheamus defeated Mark Henry @ 2:34 via pin [NR]
~ Miz defeated Mizdow @ 5:00 via pin [**]
~ #1 Contender’s Match: Randy Orton defeated Reigns and Ryback @ 5:14 via pin [**]
* Triple H and Stephanie are “on vacation” this week.
* JBL and Booker T are back, but Saxton is replacing Cole.
Authority People Talk…: Rollins, J&J, Kane and Show are in the ring to kick off the show. Rollins praised the Authority for their accomplishments at Mania; HHH defeated Sting, Show become the most dominant giant in the history of wrestling, Kane… Kane was there! This led to Randy Orton appearing, reminding us all that he defeated Rollins at Mania and deserved a title shot. He mocked Kane as well, and asked him to make a decision (and then joked that he may have to call mommy Steph and daddy HHH first). Kane denied him, but then announced a triple threat between Reigns, Ryback and Orton; the winner gets the Extreme Rules title shot. But first, Reigns, Ryback and Orton all have to compete in singles matches. The good news is that Rollins came off like a complete dick and I liked the Kane gag; the bad news is that it was every opening promo the show always does.
Kane vs. Randy Orton: This got ate up by the commercial, so it was about three minutes of actual match time. It was bland, with Kane mostly in control. In the end he got disqualified for using a chair on Orton, which is a way is fine because in theory the Authority just wants to beat down Orton before he gets to the triple threat to make sure he doesn’t win. Although I have to say, Reigns and Ryback are also not easy opponents. If I was Kane I would have booked Heath Slater, Zack Ryder and Hornswoggle in the triple threat match; but apparently that wasn’t best for business.
* Tonight the Ryback faces Luke Harper, while Roman Reigns faces Big Show; and then they compete in the triple threat against Orton. Also, Miz faces Mizdow tonight.
* The announcers discuss AJ’s retirement, and are surprisingly nice about it.
* Brad Maddox is here to kiss Kane’s ass, and then Rollins arrives to yell at Kane for not pulling his weight. Kane said Rollins won the MITB dude to his help, and now he’s champion due to that. He then defended finding a valuable challenger for Rollins, because of the whole best for business bullshit. They argued, Rollins wants Kane to quit his job, and threatened to tattle on him. This felt like it lasted just as long as the opening promo; they argued like a pair of little kids. Kane then booked Rollins in a match NEXT.
* The first 30-minutes of this show in some way involved Kane. In 2015. Let that marinate.
* We get highlights of Lesnar’s rampage from last week. Best thing on the show.
Non-Title Match: Champion Seth Rollins vs. Neville: Neville got a bigger into this week, and they used the “man that gravity forgot” line. Rollins acted like he wasn’t impressed, and completely mocked him and told him he could sit out the match. Neville, clearly a European WWE talent judging by the lack of first name, laid in a kick, which I believe, is British for “fuck off”. Neville had a good debut last week, and got NXT chants tonight. You can make him tonight by having this match go two segments, have it go back and forth with tons of athletic action and end with him getting screwed or just losing to the champion; he doesn’t have to win, he just has to take Rollins to the limit. For the most part, Rollins led (not saying by choice) a rather boring match. Neville got a flash or two of hope, the goofs got involved, Rollins then hit the buckle bomb and the curb stomp for the win. The only thing worse than the booking of that match was the over the top and fake commentary; trying to fake surprise that Neville had a chance when he was never booked to have a chance. The hot start for Neville was fine, but his comebacks were crafted half assed and while this did a little bit for him, they missed the chance to really get a new guy over. They had a chance here to sell Rollins as completely over confident, leading to a great showing of what Neville really had to bring to the table; they decided to play it lazy here and it helped no one, and I feel actually hurt Neville. I firmly believe that Neville didn’t need to win, he just needed a very good showing, and they dropped the ball here on doing that. I mean look at the level of talent we have here, why couldn’t they just go, “Hey guys, Seth wins clean in 12-minutes with the curb stomp, go do some cool shit and make the crowd happy.”
Cena’s Open Challenge: Champion John Cena vs. Stardust: Cena arrived, gave his Americana speech and then recapped the challenge he’s running. He went too long, because it was the top of the hour and we need more talking. I feel that they did a good job of booking a competitive, back and forth match between the two. I never bought into any of the near falls (the outcome was never in doubt, partly due to opponent, partly because they already made the Cena vs. Rusev rematch), but the crowd seemed to like the match and I feel that these matches need to be competitive. Not only for the sake of the title, but also it’s good to see a guy like Cody in longer matches to remind people that he’s more than the gimmick and 2-minute matches. I like the fighting champion gimmick, and feel that it can go a long way to repairing the secondary titles. Cena survived the Cross Rhodes, and then hit the springboard stunner and the AA to put Stardust away. Neville needed a match more like this, more back and forth to give a chance to show what he can do. And don’t say you can’t do that; Stardust has been booked like a goof and got in a ton on Cena, so a “rookie” can get in offense on an overconfident champion.
The Bella Twins vs. Paige and Naomi: With AJ gone, sliding Naomi in (after her win last week) makes perfect sense. They got the heat on Paige early and worked her over, Naomi then got the hot tag and ran wild, sloppily and got a near fall off of the rear view. We had miscommunication between Brie and Nikki again, and Naomi hit the head scissors driver for the pin. It wasn’t good, but Naomi got another win, setting herself up for a title match.
* The Prime Time Players made fun of the New Day and the Ascension. This was also not good.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper: They had a short, but physical outing. Harper had control, but then posted himself allowing Ryback to hit shell shocked for the win. That’s fantastic for Ryback, but does no favors to Harper who they just tried to sell as a bad ass for putting out Ambrose last week.
* The New Day had promo time, and they are hurt and disappointed by the chants of the fans. You see, they clap so they don’t snap. They are turning heel, and no one cares.
New Day (Big E and Woods) vs. Lucha Dragons: New Day worked as obvious heels here to play off of the chants, while the tag team champions watched on from backstage. Very short heat on Cara, Kalisto got the hot tag and got to do some fun stuff. Kofi got involved and New Day almost scored the win, and Woods seemed happy that they cheated. Kalisto his the salida del sol, and then a dive, allowing Cara to hit the swanton for the win. The right team won, and New Day embracing the chants and going heel could work. The actual works was sloppy though, and Kalisto nearly hurt himself on that dive.
Big Show vs. Roman Reigns: I get that the idea here is that Big Show is in the Authority, and that they want to either work over or take out Reigns prior to the match, since he’s a main nemesis of Rollins. But I have issues here. First of all, they did the poor man’s Reigns vs. Lesnar here. When you’ve seen the original, you don’t want the discount dollar version. Secondly, why in the hell is the Big Show kept so strong in 2015? That one still makes no sense at all when you’re reportedly booking a new big star. Finally, if management really likes Reigns and sees big things in him, WHY is he constantly working Big Show on live events and a match like this? Should we not have him in there with guys that can work and help him grow as a performer? If he’s the next big thing that is completely fine, but give him the chance and the tools to succeed. I think that’s a valid concern. Anyway, Show dominated, Reigns came back and hit Superman punches and a spear for the win. It was slow, and uninspired considering that we saw the much superior version of this match at Mania. Also, it feels like they are making Reigns Cena 2.0; beat down, comeback out of nowhere, overcome all odds for the win. Don’t make Reigns another Cena, make him his own man. It’s 2015, the man should have ran through Show with ease. This was not very good.
* The divas (Natalya, Summer, Alicia and Cameron) came and kissed Kane’s ass and said he was doing a good job. He knew it was bullshit, and that they wanted something. They suggest a battle royal to crown the #1 contender for the divas title. Yup, that makes sense, do a battle royal with people that are almost never on TV for a title shot none of them deserve because Naomi has two wins on the champion, But hey, sure, why not.
* The WWE App says that Barrett is using his rematch clause at Extreme Rules, and will challenge Daniel Bryan for the IC Title.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry: Sheamus cut a promo, he’s a warrior in a world of insects, a real man, and wants to destroy all of the false heroes, all the little fellas. Mark Henry’s music interrupted. Sheamus tried to bail and called Henry a has been, which was a mistake and the match started because Henry started to kick his ass. They had some back and forth, Sheamus hit a chop block and then the brogue kick for the quick and clean win. It wasn’t great by any means, but it’s pretty much exactly what it should have been as they look to set up Sheamus vs. Ziggler to play off of the return of Sheamus and the injury angle with Ziggler, which should set up Sheamus as the top challenger to Daniel Bryan and the IC Title.
* They announce Ziggler and Bryan vs. Sheamus and Barrett for Smackdown this week. We’ll see if it happens this time.
* We had a promo from Bray Wyatt, discussing fear and claiming to be the new face of fear. He’s the new face of losing to Taker at Mania. Seriously he just gave another monologue about fear and change and he loses all the time when it matters, thusly nothing ever changes. They fed him that Ambrose feud, it did nothing much for him and then lost in a below average match to Taker at Mania. I would have kept him off TV for a while and then put the Wyatt Family back together, that “break up that wasn’t a break up because they were too lazy to write one” has been bad for all involved.
* THE BIG GUY discusses his big opportunity in tonight’s triple threat match
Miz vs. Mizdow: Miz won with a cradle and pulling the tights. They had the definition of a basic TV match. The crowd was into Mizdow early, but they are fading as the matches go longer. This match existed, and this feud will continue.
* Orton discusses tonight’s main event, saying that the Authority is making him jump through hoops. He has no issues with Ryback or Reigns, but will mow them down to get to Rollins and beat him for the title.
#1 Contender’s Match: Randy Orton vs. Ryback vs. Roman Reigns: They worked for two-minutes, and then the Authority came out to watch. Ryback took control, and looked to hit shell shock but Reigns speared him and everyone was down. The Authority went to ringside, Reigns hit his big dive but then Show knocked him out as he tried to attack Rollins. Orton then attacked Rollins, but J&J ran in and beat him down. Ryback cleaned house, ate an RKO and that was all. They did some fine stuff, and then it broke down in a deliberate attempt to protect Reigns (especially) and to a degree Ryback. The right guy won.
* Rollins then hit a curb stomp on Orton and stood tall.
* End scene.
* Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
