wrestling / Video Reviews
Dark Pegasus Video Review: Ring of Honor — Buffalo Stampede
Loading...Feedforward, from Johnny Sorrow:
I figured you should be doing Enter the Dragon soon. Don’t know
if you already wrote the review, but here’s my thoughts anyway.The card looks great with matches like Jimmy Yang vs. Roderick
Strong, Joe and Lethal vs. Rave and Shelley, Corino and Cabana
vs. Homicide and Low-Ki and the best wrestler in the world today
Brian Danielson defending the heavyweight title against former
champ Austin Aries. Sounds pretty great huh? Without a doubt
it is the worst ROH dvd I’ve seen. And it has nothing to do
with the wrestling.First suspect, directing and camera work. There is a reason
wrestling is shot the way that it is. You take the fixed camera
shot and add in mobile shots to sweeten stuff. Irritatingly,
this dvd follows the exact opposite plan. Probably at least
partially due to the fixed camera having fucked-up colour, all
greens and reds, but it looks cheap indy fan cam when 90% of the
shots are hand-helds. Also, never never never switch shots in
the middle of a move. It fucks up your whole perspective. It
also doesn’t help that the hand-held guy, for the first half of
the show, never stands fucking still. So I have to keep
adjusting my brain to the new positioning. Its extremely hacky
and takes you out of the matches.Second suspect, what a horrible crowd. Generally, ROH fans are
the most self-important Super-Smarks on the planet. The dueling
chants, the ‘holy shit’ and ‘this is awesome’ chants, Green
Lantern guy. They’re sad losers. However, this show has a
jackass that ruins an entire tag match by screaming at the top
of lungs incredibly unfunny and unoriginal Alex Shelley gay
jokes. And this idiot is fucking loud. And a sad loser that
lives in his mom’s basement. Shut the fuck up and watch the
match. You are not part of the entertainment.Third suspect, booking Danielson as the humble appreciative
champion. Pound for pound, Danielson is the best wrestler in
the world today. He is also a tremendous arrogant no nonsense
stiff mother-fucker. He is not soft-spoken isn’t this swell
this belt represents wrestling freedom guy. Thankfully, by
match time, he is back to his ‘I have till five ref’ ass-kicking
ways. But that opening interview? Ick.Fourth suspect, and a common complaint about ROH dvds, the
commentary is brutal. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it
again, Gabe (or Jimmy Bowers) is deadlier than mustard gas with
a microphone in his hand. Fucking murderous. But the two
snarky douches on this dvd are just as bad. There jokes are
awful, as are their Prince Nana impressions. Call the match
fuckos. You are not interesting.One of these elements I could deal with. Two I could stand.
But all four together make this dvd a chore to sit through. And
ROH should be embarrassed to ruin the work that the actual
wrestlers did. Are the matches good? I really don’t fucking
know. I was so frustrated by the other things (especially the
first one) that I couldn’t even get into them. This dvd sucks.
I have nothing much to add other than to say you eventually get numb to the crowd or occasionally find the chants amusing. All in all, I’d rather have people chanting than sitting on their hands, but there are occasions when one guy will make himself the focal point, and no one likes that.
I have mixed feelings toward Dave Prazak. On the one hand, his self-referential style totally fits in with ROH. On the other hand, it also keeps you from getting emotionally involved sometimes, the way a Jim Ross can do when he’s on. I actually think Gabe/Bower/Pike/Lovey is much better at that, but he sounds like Officer Barbrady.
Ring of Honor — Buffalo Stampede
by J.D. Dunn
Andrews is the ROH school’s top graduate. He grabs a wristlock but doesn’t seem to know what to do after that, so Whitmer just fires off an elbow. That triggers a slugfest that Davey actually wins, so Lacey screams at BJ to get up. BJ headbutts Andrews and slaps him around. Andrews’ timing is off on a snap suplex, and he winds up landing right on his head. That’s what we call a “learning experience.” Andrews blocks a charge and clotheslines Whitmer down. A springboard missile dropkick gets two, but Andrews gets caught coming off the top, and Whitmer gives him an Exploder. Lacey demands that Whitmer haul him up instead of taking the win, though, and it nearly costs Whitmer the match as he gets speared. Whitmer hits another Exploder and a lariat, but Lacey still wants him to deliver more punishment, so Whitmer hits the Wrist-Clutch Exploder for the win at 7:59. Andrews few moves looked good, but this was an extended squash. *1/4
HEY! Keenan looks a lot like Kevin Thorn, but his tights don’t match. Castagnoli totally embarrasses Keenan by casually countering everything he comes up with. Keenan blocks a tope, though. Claudio comes back with forearm uppercuts and a 32-count delayed suplex. Keenan gets a few more token shots in, but Claudio finishes him with the Ricolabomb at 5:07. Average squash made fun by Claudio’s personality. *3/4
This was the first match in Jimmy’s descent into madness. Lacey tells Jimmy to leave the “huss” behind, prompting a “Just one huss” chant from the crowd. One guy is desperately trying to start a “she’s a crackwhore” chant, but it doesn’t take. It doesn’t really apply either as ROH gals don’t have the “moonlighting stripper” feel that the ECW women had. Jimmy gets outwrestled early and bails. He tries again but crotches himself on the post. Oops. Lethal snapmares him over and hits his hanging dropkick. Jimmy avoids a tope attempt and snaps Lethal’s neck on the top rope. Jimmy takes over for a bit before Lethal hits his springboard bulldog for two. Jimmy stays on top, but he keeps looking to Lacey for encouragement, so he can’t finish Lethal off. Jacobs hits the spear and a senton, but they only get two. Lacey doesn’t offer much advice, so Lethal is able to counter the Contra Code and finish with the Dragon Suplex at 10:58. Solid win for Lethal and a great character-building match for Jacobs that shows his new relationship with Lacey. **1/4
This would be Joe’s rematch for the Pure Title that he lost back at “Dragon Gate Invasion.” Nigel goads Joe into attacking wildly, and Joe instinctively uses two quick ropebreaks inside of a minute. Nigel uses a little trickery, putting Joe’s hand on the bottom rope behind the ref’s back, making Joe use his final ropebreak. Joe blocks the Artful Dodger and kicks Nigel in the face. Nigel misses a corner charge as Joe simply walks away from him. Joe puts Nigel in a headscissors, forcing him to use a break. A powerslam gets two, and Joe hits a running kick. Nigel uses up his final ropebreaks getting out of an STF and the Boston Crab. Joe fires away with strikes and hits a senton. Nigel rolls to the floor to get away, but Joe grabs him and sets him up for the Olé Kick. He tries again, but Nigel avoids his charge, and Joe gets his leg trapped in the railing. The ref continues to count and reaches 19 before Joe is able to free himself and get back in. Nigel’s premature celebration is pretty funny. Joe sets up for the Muscle Buster, but Nigel flips out of it and sets up for the Tower of London (rope-assisted Stunner), but Joe slips out of that and grabs the COQUINA CLUTCH! Joe falls back with it, but Nigel is able to push him back on his shoulders and grab the ropes (legally) to get the pin at 10:55. As good, if not better, than their first match. Nigel really looks like a total douchebag here by forcing Joe to use his ropebreaks on little ticky-tack things and winning with a cheap pin. ***1/4
Where to begin? Okay, Shelley recruited Aries, Strong & Evans to join him in the Generation Next stable in order to steal the spots of veterans instead of competing with each other. Things went along okay before Aries kicked Shelley out of the group and won the ROH Title. Shelley tried to get everyone in ROH to forgive him, but they weren’t having it, so Shelley joined an even worse group – The Embassy. Now, the two sides hate each other. Aries and Strong hit stereo planchas onto Shelley and Rave, leaving Evans in there against Abyss. Jack tries to avoid him but gets overpowered. The Embassy crawls back in and keeps Aries and Strong at bay while Shelley gives Jack that facepounder into a wooden chair. Aries and Strong involve a ladder, ramming it into Abyss. Strong bounds off the ladder and hits Abyss with a forearm. Aries is less lucky. Shelley charges and gets backdropped on the ladder. The brawl spills out into the crowd, and Shelley DDTs Strong on a chair. Aries chases Nana around the ring but gets stopped by Abyss. Evans desperately tries to mount offense against Abyss, but it ain’t happening. We get a picture-in-picture so we can see what’s happening in the ring and at the back of the building. Jack gets javelined into the wall like Rey Mysterio. Finally, Aries and Strong both have to jump Abyss in front of the batting cage (which is a great way to show just how powerful Abyss is). They put him on a table, and Jack comes off the top of the nearby batting cages with a 630-splash. Evans and Abyss are basically out of it, leaving Aries and Strong against Shelley and Rave. Strong hits Shelley with a uranage backbreaker and then Rock Bottoms Rave on an opened chair. Crazy! GenNext sets up tables at ringside, and Strong prepares to toss Rave through them with a Splash Mountain, but Shelley breaks it up with the superkick and gives Strong a Shellshock through the tables. Nana gets a buttalanche in on Rave, but Jade runs in and gives Nana a low blow. Aries comes back with the Finlay Roll to Rave on the ladder, but Nana distracts Aries long enough for Rave to move out of the way of the 450-splash. Nana and Rave put Aries under the ladder and cover for the win at 17:53. Wild match with lots of brawling and spots, but with a brain too. The Embassy gets yet another win on their way to the showdown at “Steel Cage Warfare.” ***1/2
You can tell this is a token defense because normally Mamaluke and Rinauro would be dead inside five minutes. Rinauro and Homicide do a brief sequence before the Rottweilers isolate Mamaluke. Homicide steals the Italian flag and mocks Mamaluke with it. Homicide schoolboy rolls Mamaluke for two, but Mamaluke reverses to a triangle choke. The champs do a little double-teaming, and Mamaluke steals Homicide’s bandana and mocks him right back. Is Tony on crack? Homicide comes back with an Ace Crusher on Sal and tags Reyes. The Rottweilers do a little double-teaming of their own. Rinauro is just getting killed in there, which is fine by me. Rinauro comes back with a series of nearfall rollups before running into an Exploder from Homicide. Rinauro blocks the Top-Rope Ace Crusher and hits a rana. HOT TAG TO MAMALUKE! Mamaluke unleashes the armdrags and headscissors. He hits Homicide with a backdrop and a frogsplash for two. Rinauro recovers and hits Reyes with a missile dropkick and a springboard Pelé. Homicide hops back in and hits Rinauro with the piledriver, tossing him over to Reyes for the German Suplex. Mamaluke makes the save and takes Homicide out with a tope. That leaves Reyes to choke Rinauro out with the Dragon Sleeper, but Mamaluke makes the save. Homicide returns and clotheslines Mamaluke to the floor. That leaves Rinauro to surprise Reyes with a springboard crossbody at 19:43. This was just a token defense to get the champs out there and get them a win, and the crowd sensed it. As a result, the match didn’t have a lot of heat (just like the champs) even if the work was pretty good. **3/4
Cabana mocks Low Ki’s stance, causing him to break character and crack up a bit. Colt backs Ki into the corner and backs away. Ki busts out his handstand into a kick. Cabana doesn’t like that, but a fan advises him not to stoop to Ki’s level. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Ki starts biting behind the ref’s back. Cabana grabs a headlock, but Ki punches him in the nuts and grabs a chinlock. Suddenly, the crowd goes completely silent as they’re just rapt with Colt’s mat acumen. Kind of cool. Colt makes a wish with Ki’s legs. Ki tries a vertical splash but misses, and he winds up right back in that hamstring stretch position. He tries to reverse, but his legs are too short, and he gets frustrated. Colt cartwheels over him but gets tossed onto the ring ropes. Ki grabs a headscissors and uses the ropes to his advantage. He segues to a bodyscissors. Cabana fires back with elbows and a bodyslam. The buttalanche sets up a lariat. Ki crotches him on the top, stretches Cabana across the top, and delivers a Ghetto Stomp to his back. He comes off the top but right into an atomic drop by Cabana. HELICOPTER TOSS! Cabana crawls into a cover, but Homicide interrupts and calls Colt a “wigger” and “Punk’s bitch.” Ki uses the distraction to dropkick Cabana and finish with the Ghetto Stomp at 20:36. Not a lot of heat on the match because the real feud was Cabana vs. Homicide, but both guys did good work, and it demonstrated the different philosophies between the two wrestlers. ***
Relatively low-key intro for Corino tonight. They both charge, and Corino gets a quick lariat and Northern Lights Suplex for two. Danielson rolls to the floor. Bet you didn’t expect that. I sure didn’t. Hey, is that 411’s Mike Campbell in the front row? Why, I believe it is. Back in, they exchange forearms, with Danielson winning that battle. The awkward “you’re gonna get your fucking head kicked in” chant emerges. Corino starts jawing with the fans, which is never a good idea. Danielson works in that back handstand into a spin and dropkick to counter a wristlock. Sweeeet. Back in, Corino grabs an STF, but Dragon is near the ropes. Corino wins a test of strength, but Danielson forces up and backdrop him over for two. Danielson starts slapping him around, which pisses off Corino and draws him into a slugfest. Danielson wins that and puts Corino in a Dragon Sleeper with his hands tied behind his back. They fight near the corner, and Corino hits a superplex. Danielson roars back with uppercuts, but Corino counters to a DDT. They slap it out, and Danielson works in the backflip into a spinkick. Danielson gets two off the Earthquake buttsplash. Corino takes Danielson up for the Ace Crusher, but Danielson shoves him off and hits a missile dropkick. Funny moment as Danielson tries to rock back into a Mexican Surfboard, but Corino is JUST TOO FAT! Hey, Danielson said it. The snap suplex sets up the swandive headbutt, but Corino avoids and locks in the Cobra Stretch. Danielson makes the ropes and gets two off a German Suplex. Corino reverses a whip and hits the STO for two. Danielson counters another swing to Cattle Mutilation. Corino squirms around and makes the ropes. Danielson hits his own superplex and hits the swandive headbutt this time. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Danielson floats over into Cattle Mutilation and then rolls him on to his shoulders for two. Corino blocks the Regalplex and goes for the Northern Lights Bomb. Danielson reverses to a rollup but can’t reverse a second attempt, and Corino gets the Northern Lights Bomb! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Corino calls for the Old School Expulsion, but Danielson is out of it. He goes for it anyway, but Danielson reverses to the Regalplex for two and forces Corino to tap to the CFCW at 24:15. Obviously not on the level of most Danielson classics, and Corino seemed either winded or not entirely into it for whatever reason. Still, the collective talent was enough to put on a match that’s well above average. ***1/4
The 411: Solid show, but not what you'd call a blowaway. The Danielson defense is hardly a classic, but it's worth a watch just for the mix of styles. The big draw of the show is the Embassy vs. GenNext matchup that furthers the feud toward "Steel Cage Warfare." Worth a look, but nothing to go out of your way for. Mild thumbs up. |
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| Final Score: 6.5 [ Average ] legend |
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