411’s TNA Impact Report 09.17.09

FOLLOW US
@Robbymac82
@411Wrestling
@411Boxing
@411MoviesTV
@411Games
@411mma
@411mania

-So I’m stepping in for Lansdell who has been the hardest working man in the business the past few weeks and needed a break. I’m a last second fill in, and haven’t really seen much of TNA the past month so I’m kind of flying blind. Just bear with me folks.

-Taped from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL

-Hosted by Mike Tenay & Taz

-We open with shots of Mick Foley arriving at the arena with his sons, and Kevin Nash arriving alone as they prepare for tonight’s Legends Title match.

TNA Knockout’s Tag Team Championship Tournament Semifinals: Tara & Christy Hemme vs. The Beautiful People
I assume this is Angelina’s final appearance with the company before her release. Lansdell informs me I’m obligated to say DAT AZZ SQUARED, and give some love to the cameraman for what may be the final time. Velvet provides a distraction allowing Angelina to attack Tara from behind at the outset. Tara comes right back on offense, and yanks her hair over the back before tagging in Christy. Christy hits a couple kicks for two, but runs into a drop toehold from Angelina sending her into the buckle. Tag to Velvet who fires Christy across the ring by her hair a couple times for a two count. Tag to Angelina who delivers a low dropkick for a two count. Christy ducks a clothesline, and then hits a facebuster which puts both ladies down. Tag to Velvet is followed by a tag to Tara who comes in with a snap suplex, and a standing moonsault for two. Tag to Christy who heads to the second rope and delivers the FFG. Angelina makes the save, and she gets dumped to the floor. Madison runs out and gets on the apron with hair spray and looks to spray Velvet. Velvet moves and she sprays Christy instead. That allows Velvet to roll her up for the three count at 4:03. Madison shows off the paper bag with an I’m sorry message on the back, and the BP decide she’s okay in their book. I guess this sets up Madison to take Angelina’s place at the pay per view.
Winners: The Beautiful People (Velvet pins Hemme-Rollup ½*)

-Lauren is with D’Angelo DeNiro who wants his thoughts on the problems with Suicide. DeNiro says he has extended the opportunity to enlighten Suicide. He says everyone deals with darkness these days, and says that Suicide has created his own personal hell. Pope is gonna reach down and resurrect him only to pimp slap him straight back to hell. DeNiro says tonight Suicide will pay the ultimate price, and will pay for his transgressions against the Pope.

“The Pope” D’Angelo DeNiro vs. Suicide
Suicide attacks immediately, and we have a big brawl that quickly moves to the floor. Suicide slingshots inside with a legdrop for two, but DeNiro is right back with a clothesline. DeNiro delivers a bodyslam, and then a pimp slap. Suicide goes for the Suicide Solution, but DeNiro is able to counter. DeNiro chokes out Suicide, and locks in a half camel clutch. Suicide tries to elbow out, and then delivers a dropkick sending DeNiro into the corner. Another dropkick from Suicide is followed by a rolling slam. Suicide goes for a top rope splash, but hits the knees of DeNiro. DDE connects from there, and that finishes at 3:38. Pretty good action, but so limited on time it was hard to get anything going.
Winner: “The Pope” D’Angelo DeNiro (Pinfall-DDE **)

-Lauren catches up with World Elite, but Kiyoshi takes over the interview. Eric Young says what they did last week was out of love for a brother who lost his way. He says Hernandez drove Homicide to do what he did last week. He says greed, envy, and jealousy took over for Hernandez, and Homicide did what any normal person would do. Tonight Hernandez faces Kiyoshi and Bashir. EY says he’s obligated to face Hernandez at No Surrender, but he would never fight his own brother, and since he considers Hernandez a brother he’ll see him there. What does that even mean? Homicide asks Hernandez what changed? He says it used to be about familia, but now World Elite is the familia.

-Rhino is in the ring, and says he’s not one for ego. He says he’s not the one to play politics, and by not playing politics people move ahead of you. He says he’s watched people move ahead of him, and he didn’t say a word. He says TNA decided to give Rhino a push by exploiting his personal demons. He says everybody moved ahead, and then TNA gives him Jesse Neal. He says he liked Jesse’s story and wanted to train him, and then TNA decided to exploit it. He trained him, and then Jesse embarrassed him in the ring forcing Rhyno to kick his ass. He says that brings us to the savior Bobby Lashley. Rhino says this isn’t MMA this is TNA, and he says he’ll take a steel chair, wrap it around his head, and watch him bleed. He says he saw Dixie Carter sitting with Bobby a few weeks back, and asks when was the last time Dixie ever talked to him. He says at the end of the interview Dixie threw in casually Rhino would be his opponent, but he wants her to get straight that his name is The War Machine Rhino and to get it straight toots. D-Von interrupts this trainwreck, and says to him this doesn’t sound like a guy who’s mad or angry, but a guy who’s crying like a little bitch. The clever crowd chants “Whino” at him. D-Von says he had to calm Brother Ray down in the back who wanted to come out, and he said he’d handle this. He says Jesse Neal has nothing to do with politics. He took advantage of the kid, and then says he remembers a kid coming to ECW and how Team 3D took him under their wing. He says the difference is when Rhino messed up 3D didn’t kick his ass, but told him his mistakes, and let him know how to correct them. D-Von says he’s not here to fight, but he wants to put this all behind them. He says when this is all said and done they have a history, and they have what it takes to make TNA the best company in the history of wrestling. D-Von offers a handshake, but Rhino doesn’t want any part of that. He says they’ll make TNA the best, and it will start with him kicking D-Von’s ass. Rhino attacks, and sets up for the gore, but Brother Ray is in to make the save before officials come out to break up the brawl.

2 on 1 Handicap Match: Sheik Abdul Bashir & Kiyoshi vs. Hernandez
The heels attack Hernandez as soon as he rolls inside, but he casusally pushes them aside. Hernandez delivers a backdrop to Bashir, and then whips both men into the corner. Double avalanche to both men, followed by a hiptoss of both guys. Sheik gets tossed to the floor, but comes back in with a missile dropkick. Bashir fires Hernandez into the top buckle, and then delivers a swinging neckbreaker. Kiyoshi is back in and goes to the for the moonsault which misses. Bashir heads to the top, but gets slammed off by SuperMex. Shoulderblocks connect to both men, and the Border Toss connects to Kiyoshi for the win at 2:27. Total domination for Hernandez here. Homicide walks out to have words, but it’s a sucker attack as Young comes in with a chair and blasts Hernandez with it. Homicide places the briefcase across the throat, and Young blasts the briefcase with a chair. Sick spot which Hernandez sells to perfection foaming at the mouth.
Winner: Hernandez (Pins Kiyoshi-Border Toss ¼*)

-Lauren is with ODB, and she says no man is gonna win the TNA Knockout Title. She says she’s not gonna let Cody make a mockery of the title they helped create. Too late dear.

Lumberjack Match: Alissa Flash vs. Cody Deaner
Lumberjacks are basically…the entire female roster. Oddly enough Kong is one of the lumberjacks, but for some reason Saeed isn’t there with her. Must be getting ready for the big tag match. Flash dumps Cody over the top as he was jawing with Tara, and then Kong attacks him allowing all the ladies to put the boots to him. The girls continue the assault with a double suplex on the ramp, and then then fire him into the ringpost. They throw him back inside, and that allows Alissa to cover for the win at 1:24. Kong attacks Tara after the bell as the rest of the girls continue the assault on Cody. He escapes, but walks into a flask attack from ODB.
Winner: Alissa Flash (Pinfall-Menstrual Attack DUD)

-Lauren catches up with Kevin Nash in his locker room. She asks if this is a bad night for the open casting call, but Nash is ignoring her questions about tonight’s match with Foley as he continues to scout women. Nash starts to put the moves on Lauren, and gives her glass of wine to loosen her up. He tells her she could jump to the front of the line in a heartbeat. She starts to fall for him, but a big one stops by with her cans hanging out (actually blurred out) and he says any man can get with a 10, but it takes a true swordsman to get with a woman like that.

-JB talks to Foley who is all fired up, and says Nash can worry about his plus size models but he’s focused on taking the title tonight.

TNA Legends Championship: Kevin Nash © vs. Mick Foley
Nash pushes Foley to the corner on the lockup and attacks with a series of right hands. Nash hammers Foley down with an elbow, but Foley comes fighting back with a series of rights of his own. Kneelift connects by Foley, and is followed by more punches in the corner. Foley hits the running knee in the corner, and pulls out Mr. Socko for the mandible claw. Nash avoids it sending Foley to the floor, and then kicks Foley away when he attempts to pull him out. Nash comes out on his own and fires Foley into the ringsteps before taking the sock away and choking Mick with it. Nash rams Foley into the guardrail, and then to the ring apron. Back to the ringsteps goes Foley, before they head back inside. Nash connects with a series of back elbows in the corner, and Foley is now busted open. Nash chokes Foley on the second rope, but Abyss’s music hits and here comes the monster with a barbed wire baseball bat. Abyss chases Nash off with the baseball bat, and that draws the DQ at 4:07. Nash is more than pleased with that decision, and mocks Abyss as he heads to the back. Abyss tries to explain himself to Foley, but he’ll have none of it and takes his bat away.
Winner: STILL TNA Legends Champion: Kevin Nash (Disqualification-Abysserference *)

-Lauren catches up with Brother Ray and Robert Roode. Ray says this is an extremely important match. He says Beer Money and 3D have set the standard for modern day pro wrestling, and even though they’ve had their battles its all about mutual respect. He tells Roode whoever wins the match gets the advantage in the cage, and they want that advantage. Ray says for 15 years D-Von’s always had his back, but tonight they’ll work with each other. Roode answers with a “Testify”

-Lauren talks to a distraught Abyss who says he was just trying to help. He wants to go find Mick, but Lauren implores him to give him time. Abyss goes into a breakdown at the mere thought of Mick being mad at him.

Scott Steiner & Brutus Magnus (w. Booker T, Doug Williams and Big Rob) vs. Robert Roode & Brother Ray (w. Brother D-Von & James Storm)
Roode and Steiner start things off, and Steiner grabs a single leg takedown. Steiner hits a shoulderblock, but then runs into a back elbow from Roode. Kneedrop connects by Roode for two, but Steiner is right back with a forearm and tags in Magnus. Magnus runs into a clothesline, and Roode tags in Bubba. Bubba delivers a pair of chops, and then hits a Rock Bottom for two. Steiner provides a distraction which allows Magnus to hit a suplex for two. Tag to Steiner who chokes out Bubba on the second rope, and then delivers a Steinerline. Magnus tags back in after some Steiner pushups, and rams Bubba into the top rope before quickly tagging back out. T-Bone suplex by Steiner picks up a two count, but Bubba is back with a Bubba Bomb. Double tags, as Roode is in with the hot tag taking out Magnus. Backdrop for Magnus is followed by a clotheslines for both heels from Roode. Spinebuster to Magnus gets two when Steiner makes the save, but he’s chased outside by Bubba. That turns into a big brawl between all the teams on the floor, and Roode hits a bridging fisherman’s suplex. The ref is tied up with the brawl, and Doug Williams is able to break up the pin with a shot with the IWGP Title belt. The ref turns around to see Magnus on top, and that gets the three at 5:00. Meh, like most matches on this show, not enough time to get anything going.
Winners: Scott Steiner & Brutus Magnus (Pinfall-Williams Interference *)

-Bobby Lashley lets us know he’s gonna knock Rhino’s ass out.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament-Semifinals: Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs. Taylor Wilde & Sarita
Again I am informed by Lansdell that I too am contractually obligated to inform you that Kong kills bitches dead. Kong starts with Taylor who attacks with a series of kicks, but runs into a sideslam. Kong tags in Saeed, and slams her on top of Taylor for two. Taylor is able to get away and tag Sarita, but Saeed hits a sideslam for two. Sarita ends up in the heel corner where Saeed tags in Kong. Kong hits an avalanche in the corner, and then locks in a sleeper. He throws her away, and tags in Saeed who hits a snap mare and grabs a bow and arrow. Saeed hits a snap suplex for a two count, and delivers a bodyslam. Sarita tries to kick her away, and then is able to roll through for the hot tag to Taylor. Wilde hits a hurracanrana, and then a second with a pin combo for two when Kong makes the save. Sarita comes in and delivers a low drop kick to Kong, but then a second charge gets her kicked to the floor. Saeed hits a back heel trip, but Taylor is right back with a bridging German Suplex and that picks up the pin at 4:32. That will set up Taylor Wilde and Sarita against Velvet Sky and Angelina Love Madison Rayne at the pay per view. Afterward Kong shoots Saeed an evil look, so I assume the break up is imminent.
Winners; Taylor Wilde & Sarita (Wilde pins Saeed-Bridging German Suplex **)

-JB catches up with Kurt Angle for his thoughts on the upcoming World Title match at No Surrender. Angle says in order to be the best man in the business you have to beat the top guy, and he’s the top guy. He says being the champ is one thing, but being the best is another. Love him or hate him he takes pride in what he does, and he will not and cannot be defeated at No Surrender.

-Lauren catches up with AJ and Sting. She asks what happens when they are opponents at No Surrender. Sting says they all want to be the best. He says he’s been a teacher to AJ, but he’s not going to just allow AJ to win the match. AJ says he has more respect for Sting than he’ll ever know, and this Sunday they’re both competitors. AJ says the will to be the best is in their blood, and this Sunday it’s his time.

Samoa Joe vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan
Kurt Angle joins the commentary team for this one. Joe attacks before the bell, and delivers a running back elbow in the corner which is followed with a kick. Joe chokes out Morgan on the second rope, and delivers a series of right hands. Joe charges into a big boot from Morgan who follows with his rapid fire elbows. Sidewalk release slam from Morgan connects, and he then chokes out Joe on the top rope. Morgan then drops down on Joe who is draped over the top and covers for a two count. Morgan calls out to Angle, and sets up for the Hellavator. Joe counters and delivers a series of kicks and a back suplex. Morgan no-sells it and hops right back up delivering a choke slam. Morgan calls for the carbon footprint, but Joe bails to the floor and then pulls Morgan out with him. Morgan throws Joe into the apron, and then delivers a headbutt. He charges at Joe who moves and Morgan goes crashing into Angle at the announce table. That leads to a big ass brawl drawing the DQ at 3:49. Daniels runs out to make the save and chases Joe to the back as officials pull Angle off of Morgan. This was a borderline squash until the DQ. Joe got virtually no offense in.
Winner: “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan (Disqualification-Angleference *)

-Back from break as the pull apart brawl between Angle and Morgan continues. Security and Officials try to separate them to no avail. Finally Angle is able to slam Morgan through a table as we’re out for the evening.