411’s WWE RAW Report 05.24.04

This is Dave Gagnon. This is WWE Raw, May 24th 2004.

Yeah, I’m now the official go-to guy when PK can’t do the RAW live coverage. I’m the B-Team of the 411’s Live Raw Coverage! I hope you’ll enjoy the live coverage tonight!

Video recap of last week’s battle royale. Gee, I wonder if HHH will be pissed about what happened.

Backstage, HHH is with Evolution. He complains to Bischoff. Bischoff tells him that a match against Shawn Michaels is scheduled for Bad Blood. HHH then turns to Evolution and blames them for what happened last week. He wants to see unity in Evolution tonight. He also asks Batista to stay around.

We are live from Rockford, IL. Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Screw the intros! And we start with a match…

1st match: Ric Flair vs Edge
We see Edge’s disturbing purple thong he wore two weeks ago in a pre-match video. Feeling out process to start until Flair chops Edge. Edge comes back with right hands. Baaaack body drop by Edge. He then clotheslines Flair out of the ring. He bodyslams him on the floor. Flair comes back in the ring and begs for mercy but Edge wants none of that. Edge counters an atomic drop and clotheslines Flair. Orton distracts him and Flair uses the thumb to the eye to get the upper hand. Slow offense by Naitch. Kneedrop on Edge, which he sells like a shot in the head. Technical difficulties at home…we come back with Orton interfering. Shelton Benjamins runs in for the save. Edge spears Flair for the win.

There’s a RAW diva search. A lucky lady will have the chance to be the next RAW Diva and win 250 000$ It could be you. Good luck to all the sluts.

Recap of Lita/Kane silliness.

Backstage, Grisham is with Lita and Matt Hardy. Lita thought about it and she loves Matt again. They kiss. Awww. She goes in her locker room to get her stuff but Kane is here. This is “I know what you did last summer” good. Lita tells her that she thought that it was over and Kane is all like “Oh yeah. It’s over. But judging by my tone, you know that this is not over”.

Lita leaves with Matt. Hey Lita, it’s time to dump Matt. Kane is the no.1 contender now.

Tonight: A retard pair up with a very entertaining character. Oh, and they will face Eugene and William Regal.

Outside, HHH and Batista jumps on “HBK” but it’s actually Steven Richards. After realizing his match, HHH stomps him a couple of times. Hahahaha.

2nd match: La Rйsistance vs The Superheroes
These teams fought like 12 times on Heat. La Rйsistance is coming to Montreal next week! Lawler is wrong: they will get booed because Quebecers hate Grenier. Anyway, La Rez dominate Hurricane for a while until he comes back with an enziguri. Lukewarm tag to Rosey. He cleans house with a double clothesline. Hurricane goes to the top and hits a crossbody for two. He goes for the shining wizards but Grenier ducks. Conways gives Hurricane a cheapshot which gives the chance to Grenier to use the most dangerous move in the business: the rollup. They win with that.

Outside, HBK jumps on HHH and they brawl. The refs breaks up the brawl. For now.

Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel time. Great reaction for Jericho. He gloats about putting Christian on the shelf after their brutal steel cage match a couple of weeks ago. Tonight, his guest is the man that Stephen Randle is jealous of: The Living Legend Randy Orton. Jericho is impressed with the list of legends that Orton killed: Austin, HBK, Slaughter, Race and Foley. But he wants to know why Orton is so scared of Benjamin. Orton calls Jericho a big mouth. Jericho: A big mouth. Wow. What are you gonna call me next? A big poo poo head?. Orton slaps him but Jericho comes back with a running enziguri. Batista runs in for the double team but Benjamin is there to even the odds. Can you say “tag team match”? Well, I hope so. It’s really easy to say.

Match is joined in progress. Orton and Jericho start. Mat wrestling to start. Bow and arrow by Y2J. Jericho dominates until he tags Shelton. Orton decides to tag Batista. Batista is too powerful for Shelton and takes him down with a huge clothesline. NOW Orton wants in and jumps on Benjamin. Big “Randy Sucks” chant. After being dominated for a while, Shelton tags Jericho. Jericho is a house of fire. He goes for the walls, Batista tries to clothesline him but Jericho hits a springboard drop kick. He goes for the lionsault, Orton ducks, Jericho lands on his feet. He locks up the walls of Jericho, Batista interferes and gets thrown to the outside. Jericho goes to the top and hit a crossbody and both members of Evolution. COMMERCIAL BREAK. Trish Stratus (looking fabulous tonight) joins the commentary team. She isn’t very talkative though. Orton works on the arm of Jericho while Trish refuses to give an update on Christian’s condition. Batista tags in and work on the bad arm. He is about to tap out but he fights out of it. Batista comes back with his hard hitting offense. Orton joins the fun and locks the shoulder arm scissors. Jericho fights back with chops but Orton counters with an armbar takedown. Orton gives the double finger to Shelton! How can you not love this guy? Batista locks the code red armbar. Yeah yeah, a Craig Pittman reference, how about that? Jericho kicks out and comes back with the flash back on Orton. Hot tag to Benjamin. He is all over Batista. Dragon whip for two. Batista comes back with a spinebuster. A couple of nearfalls later, Orton’s RKO on Jericho is blocked, leading to a modified powerslam by Benjamin for the pin.

After the match, Trish trashtalks Jericho. Tyson Tomko attacks from behind and powerbombs Jericho through the announcers table.

During the break, Jericho left on a stretcher.

Kane comes out to cut a promo. He envies Benoit. He wants the world title. His life of nightmare will be over when he’ll become champion. He adds that what he wants, he always gets. Like Lita, I guess. And he leaves. That was…hum…to the point.

Backstage, HBK wants to know if he’ll get his kind of match at Bad Blood. Before Bischoff can give an answer, HHH jumps on both of them. They brawl all over Bischoff’s office. The referees and agents once again try to break up the brawl.

4th match: Victoria vs Molly Holly, Non-Title Match
The TATU song is gone for Victoria and replaced with 90ish dance music. Awful dance moves by Victoria. I don’t know if it was supposed to be sexy or anything. Shinead Holly is a brunette tonight, for those keeping score at home. Gail Kim inteferes early. Holly dominates for a while. She almost gets pinned after a lazy cover. Victoria comes back with a back body drop and a bodyslam. She hit the widow’s peak for the pin. Gail Kim attacks after the match but she also falls to the widow’s peak.

SmackDown! Rebound
In the role of Shawn Michaels: Eddie Guerrero
In the role of Owen Hart: Bradshaw

The only thing missing is “Tell me a lie” and we’re all set.

And speaking of Owen Hart, it’s too bad that WWE doesn’t acknowledge the anniversary of his untimely death. It’s not surprising but still…a little mention by JR would have been nice.

Backstage, Bischoff has a pep talk for the RAW roster. He asks the wrestlers to jump on HHH and HBK if they fight again. And if they don’t…he will fire every single one of them.

We then see a recap of the magical segment with Eugene and The Rock. Can’t wait to have it it in the eventual “From The Vault: Eugene” DVD. Thank God I didn’t see the spoiler before the show.

Backstage, Grisham is with Eugene and Regal. Eugene is really excited. Johnny Nitro interrupts. We learn that Regal is still not cleared to wrestle. Regal doesn’t want to see Eugene wrestle all alone. Regal knows how to act, which helps greatly this angle. Nitro gives Eugene three minutes to find a partner.

5th match: Eugene and Mystery Partner vs Coach/Garrisson Cade
Coach is da man. Just saying. Good pop for Eugene. Just when we thought that it was all over for our friend Eugene, CHRIS BENOIT comes out to be his partner. Great pop for the Crippler. What an odd team. Benoit starts with Cade. He tags Eugene. Criss cross by Eugene! Eugene points at something in the sky, Cade looks up and gets nailed on the forehead. Eugene tags Benoit. The World Heavyweight Champion is too much for Cade, duh. Coach tags in. Well, good luck with that. Hard chops by Benoit, followed by the three german suplexes and the diving headbutt from the top. Benoit tags Eugene and tells him to go to the top. Eugene hits the diving headbutt for the pin. The great thing about Eugene is, for a while, you actually forget that he isn’t actually a retard. Great job by WWE.

Backstage, another HHH/HBK scuffle.

HHH comes out and wants Shawn Michaels right now. HBK is game and jumps in the ring. They brawl and Evolution join the party to make this 4 on 1. HBK tries to fight them off but the odds are against him. Benoit and Edge runs out for the save. La Resistance and The Hurricane try to break up the brawl. Eric Bischoff comes out and ask the troops to help him. A-Train (welcome to RAW!), Tomko, Palumbo (welcome to RAW too!), Venis, Rhyno, Rosey, you name it, they’re all here. The heat is very dissapointing considering that everybody is involved. Bischoff is sick of this. He confirms what we knew all along: it’s hell in a cell for HBK and HHH. Maybe this will become a Bad Blood tradition. More fighting to end the show.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I won’t be doing the TNA reports anymore for a variety of reasons. Thanks to everybody who read me during these last three months.

This has been fun. I’ll be back this saturday with Le Samedi Noir on 411Black. PK will be back next week for the live coverage of RAW. I hope you enjoyed my work tonight.

Have a great evening.

Gags