The Smackdown Breakdown 11.04.04

WWE Smackdown — 11/4/04

From St. Louis, Mo.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

We have some roster spots to fill, so Al Snow introduces his Tough Enough finalists to Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle. Kurt reenacts the lineup scene from “Heartbreak Ridge” only not as funny. He then channels Hopper in “Blue Velvet.” Don’t look at me! **Inhale** DON’T LOOK AT ME!!! Kurt challenges the guys to do squat thrusts for a “prize.” It doesn’t go so well so we get a recap from last week.. When we come back, Chris Nawrocki wins the squat thrust challenge. As a result, he gets the prize of wrestling Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Nawrocki.

Angle takes him down and pins him easily. O

Angle asks if anyone else wants to go. UFC Fighter Daniel Puder raises his hand.

Kurt Angle vs. Daniel Puder.

They do some Greco-Roman stuff, and Angle takes him down for the pin. O

Angle says that none of them are tough enough. He tells them to get out of the ring.

Josh Matthews asks Orlando Jordan what makes him think he can beat Booker T this week after losing last week. John Bradshaw Layfield intervenes and slaps Josh in the face. Josh says he’s sick of taking abuse from them and walks out of the interview.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan (w/JBL).

Booker nails the thrust kick early, but OJ goes to the eyes. OJ shoulderblocks him down but takes a crosschop. Jordan corners Booker and chokes him with a boot. Booker slips over him off a corner whip and delivers a sidekick. A side slam gets two for Booker. Booker spinebusters OJ down, so Bradshaw jumps in, drawing the DQ. 1/2*

After the match, OJ and Bradshaw doubleteam Booker. JBL levels him with the Clothesline from Hell.

Bubba Ray and D-Von ponder what Spike could be thinking. Spike’s brilliant idea is to lure Big Show to the ring and have his brothers put Show through a table.

General Manager Theodore Long is reprimanding Josh Matthews for being unprofessional when Booker T storms in and demands a match with both Jordan and Layfield. Matthews offers to be Booker’s partner.

Back in the ring, Spike Dudley calls out the Big Show. Show saunters out for a staredown (Spike was standing on a table). Spike spits on him, and the Dudleyz deliver a 3-D. The Duds set up the tables, but it backfires as Show chokeslams Bubba and D-Von through them. Spike hightails it to the back.

Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak worry that the Dudleyz didn’t get the job done. Angle has a better idea, though. He offers the fourth spot on his Survivor Series team to Carlito Caribbean Cool. Carlito thinks…das kuhl.

The Raw Rebound is Eric Bischoff making the stipulation that the winning team will get complete control of Raw for the month following Survivor Series. Jericho, Benoit and Orton destroy Flair and Batista.

Rob Van Dam is chillin’ until Rey Mysterio comes in and harshes his mellow by reminding him they have a tag match.

Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio vs. Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak.

Jindrak makes fun of Rey for being so small. Rey makes him pay with a springboard headscissors and a broncobuster. Van Dam comes in with a split-legged moonsault. Luther Reigns distracts the ref, so RVD and Rey get double legdrops. RVD body presses Jindrak for two. Luther tags in but takes the spinkick from Van Dam. Reigns slaps on a chinlock to waste time. RVD comes back with a kick and tags to Rey. Rey sets up for the 619, but Jindrak breaks it up behind the ref’s back. We come back from commercial to Reigns holding Rey in another chinlock. He picks him up and delivers a Full Nelson driver. Rey takes the Hennig bump off an Irish Whip. That seems to be a popular bump in the WWE these days. Jindrak drops some elbows and rips off Rick Rude. Mysterio battles out of a chinlock, but Reigns makes sure he won’t get the tag. Reigns goes nuts on the faces and casually tags back out. Jindrak counters a springboard into a tilt-o-whirl slam. Nice. Reigns comes back in with a bearhug. Rey bites his way out and puts Reigns down with a Tornado DDT. Rey makes the hot tag to RVD. Van Dam hits the thrust kick on Jindrak. Rey baits Reigns out of the ring. RVD hits Rolling Thunder! Rey gets the 619, setting up the Five-Star Frogsplash for the win! Dragged a little during the long sequence when Reigns and Jindrak were on offense. **1/4

After the match, Carlito Cool and Jesus wander out. Carlito spits in the face of Rob Van Dam (who I could have sworn wanted to be cool). Carltio, Jesus, Jindrak and Reigns beatdown Rey and RVD until Eddy Guerrero makes the save.

Recap of Undertaker signing on to meet Heidenreich at Survivor Series.

Teddy Long calls Eddy Guerrero to his office and tells him they have a little problem. Long takes Rey Mysterio off Eddy’s team and puts him in a Cruiserweight Four-Way with Spike Dudley, Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero.

Recap of Dawn Marie being all slutty, causing a catfight between her and Torrie…er…Jackie. Wow, that was like some sort of conditioned response..

Arm-wrestling Contest: Dawn Marie vs. MISS JACKIE~!

Dawn just headbutts Jackie, tosses the table aside and attacks her. O

Charlie Haas limps out on crutches to talk some sense into them. Suddenly, Heidenreich runs down and beats Charlie with his own crutch. Jackie tries to make the save, but Heidenreich just pushes her down. Heidenreich gives Charlie a big beating and leaves him laying. Dawn crawls over and squeals like Nancy Kerrigan.

Recap of TE4 stuff from tonight. Go to WWE.com to cast your vote. Torrie Wilson comes out and tells them that next week they’ll have an even more tiring time as they take the “Torrie Wilson Sex Test.” I’d like to feel her Bell Curves.

Next week: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show!

John Bradshaw Layfield & Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T. & Josh Matthews.

They point out that Josh is actually a trained wrestler. I thought they might skip that for a while. Booker nails Bradshaw with a forearm but ducks his head on a backdrop attempt. Bradshaw clubs him with a forearm. Booker charges into a boot, and Bradshaw bowls him over with a shoulderblock. Jordan tags in but takes a spinkick. Matthews tags in and comes off the top with a bodypress. It doesn’t even get a count. Matthews spies Bradshaw getting back in the ring and dropkicks him out. That only serves to piss off Bradshaw, so Matthews runs over and tags Booker. Booker spinebusters OJ, but Bradshaw comes back in with a shoulder block. Booker stumbles into Matthews and Referee Nick Patrick rules it a tag. Bradshaw whips Booker into the ring steps, taking him out. Matthews hops on Bradshaw’s back, but Bradshaw slams him on the outside. Josh has to go it alone against OJ and Bradshaw. OJ gets his Muhammed Ali jabs, but Booker hangs him on the top rope. Josh gets the HOT TAG to Booker T. Bradshaw goes for the Clothesline from Hell, but Booker counters to a BOOK END! Another one takes OJ out! Booker clotheslines Bradshaw out and finishes OJ with the Axe Kick. Fun. **

Final Thoughts: A show designed to sell the PPV more than deliver any real entertainment of its own. Only two matches were of any consequence, and they were pretty good. Not sure what the point of the Dudleyz segment was other than to remind us that they’re still around (for now). The Tough Enough segment dragged on longer than necessary. At least they have diverse personalities, though. Everything else was missable.

J.D. Dunn