CHIKARA Review: Cibernetico Increible

Philadelphia, PA – 10.18.2009

After a hectic night in Easton, CHIKARA returns to Philadelphia, PA for the 6th annual Torneo Cibernetico. This year, the Cibernetico is made up of eight tag teams divided in half and placed on opposite corners. The reigning Campeones de Parejas of The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant) captain both teams. In addition to the giant Cibernetico, stars from Japan will be in action and more tag teams look for the points needed towards a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas. We’ve got a stacked show so let’s get to it

Commentary is provided by: Leonard F. Chikarason, Louden Noxious, Bryce Remsburg, Jimmy Olsen, and Ultramantis Black.

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)

Tonight, we were supposed to see The Throwbacks team up to take on The Badd Boys. Since the Badd Boys were held up at the Canadian border, they are off both of these weekends shows. The Throwbacks will now take on Los Ice Creams, who just so happen to be in town! Los Ice Creams attack the Throwbacks at the bell. The Throwbacks hit stereo hip-tosses. Sugar throws El Hijo at Dasher who hits a polish hammer. Junior gets tripped by Dasher, and Sugar runs up and down his back. Dasher follows with a baseball slide, then the Throwbacks hit the Alley Oop on El Hijo. Dasher hits a charging clothesline on Junior in the corner. He goes for a second on Hijo, but Hijo hops out of the corner with El Asesino. Los Ice Creams bring Dasher back to their corner and isolate him to maximize punishment and silliness. Dasher leapfrogs out of the corner over both of Los Ice Creams and hits a wind up punch on Hijo and throws Junior into the corner. He hits a charging splash in the corner before finally tagging Sugar Dunkerton in. Sugar hits some jabs on both Ice Creams before Junior pokes him in the eyes. Los Ice Creams whip Sugar to the ropes. Sugar stops and biels Junior to the apron. Sugar taunts Hijo, and he charges at Sugar. Sugar moves and he hits Junior. Sugar hits Junior on the corner again, and taunts Hijo into dropkicking Junior off the apron. Sugar whips Hijo off the ropes. Hijo stops and pinches Sugar on the buttocks. Hijo whips Sugar to the corner. Sugar leapfrogs over and dropkciks Hijo in the corner. Dasher comes in and hits a baseball slide on Hijo. Junior comes off the top but Sugar catches him with a punch. Dasher goes to the second rope and Sugar hands Junior to him. The Throwbacks hit the Grand Slam Dunk (the Grand Slam from Dasher followed by an elbow smash from Dasher off the top) for the win in 7:26. This was a very fun opening match that got the Throwbacks over like mad. I can tell you that everyone loved them and people look forward to seeing more of them. **1/2

Ryuichi Kawakami vs. Vin Gerard

Kawakami is a visitor from Big Japan Wrestling, and was originally set to face Eddie Kingston. Unfortunately, Kingston got his nose broken multiple times in the same match when he faced Sami Callihan at CZW the week before. Vin Gerard has been brought in as the replacement. Vin does some trash talking which gets him shoved down. Vin gets up and pokes Kawakami in the chest. Kawakami takes his hand and twists it so that Vin falls to his back. Vin retreats to the corner. Kawakami takes Vin down with a shoulder tackle and a snapmare into a headlock. Kawakami slams Vin down and pins him for two. Kawakami stomps on Vin’s back and catches him off the ropes with a hip toss. Kawakami stomps on Vin’s chest and pins him again for two. Kawakami give Vin a few more stomps before picking him back up. Kawakami looks for a suplex and Vin floats over. Vin chop blocks Kawakami and works on Kawakami’s left leg. Vin wrenches on the right ankle of Kawakami until Kawakami gets the ropes. Kawakami comes up with punches, but Vin takes him down by going to the face. Vin covers Kawakami for two. Vin lands a knee in the small of Kawakami’s back before going back to the legs. Vin mocks Kawakami and pushes him to the corner. He rams his shoulder into the stomach of Kawakami and chops him. Kawakami feels no effect and comes out of the corner. Vin boots him in the stomach, pops up in the corner, and Kawakami knocks him down. Kawakami takes down Vin with a series of shots and pins him for two. Kawakami takes over Vin with an overhead suplex for another two count. Kawakami deadlifts Vin into a side suplex for two. Kawakami looks for a German suplex, but Vin reverses the waist lock. Vin kicks Kawakami’s leg out from under him. Kawakami gets up and gets met with an STO for two. Kawakami gets up and mauls Vin with forearms. Vin sweeps out Kawakami’s leg again and locks on the STF. Kawakami gets the ropes. Vin pulls Kawakami to the center of the ring and reapplies the STF to submit Kawakami in 6:21. This was pretty average, especially when you consider that the match between Kingston and Kawakami would most likely have been much better and much more interesting. As I said in my live report, I felt bad knowing Kawakami came to the States just to have that match. **

Sara Del Ray & La Malcriada vs. Daizee Haze & Bullfight Sora

La Malcriada is a cat and Bullfight Sora is a cow. The Japanese look at their women weirdly. Daizee and Malcriada start off. Daizee knees Malcriada in the gut and hits a forearm on her back. Daizee goes behind and Malcriada fights her off. Daizee applies another, but Malcriada uses the ropes to work out and hits a flying clothesline. Malcriada hits a bronco buster to Daizee in the corner. Sara comes in and Malcriada see-saws Daizee into a boot from Sara. Dars picks up Daizee and lifts her up. Daizee floats out into an armdrag. Sora tags in. Sara goes for an attack, but Sora blocks and rams her horns into Sara’s buttocks. She does it again, and Sara then pummels Sora. Sara picks up Sora by the horns and throws her hard across the ring. Sara takes over Sora with a suplex for a two count. Sara whips Sora to the corner and hits a butt-butt to Sora’s midsection. Sora ducks an attack and tries to drag Sara to the floor. Sara kicks Sora out, and Sara chases Sora on the floor. Sora trips over a chair and Sara attacks her. In the ring, Daizee stomps away at Malcriada, targeting Malcriada’s left leg. Sara brings Sora back in and tosses her onto Daizee. Malcriada and Sara whip Sora and Daizee to the ropes. Sora sends Sara to the floor, and Daizee ducks. Malcriada hits a headscissors on Sora. Sors sends Malcriada to the apron and heads up top. Malcriada comes off with a crossbody, and Sora moves out of the way. Sora charges at Malcriada in the corner, but Malcriada goes up top and lands a tornado DDT on Sora. Malcriada pins Sora for the two count. Malcriada hits the ropes and Daizee catches her with a knee to the kidneys. Sora and Daizee work over Malcriada until she sweeps out Daizee’s legs and tags in Sara after a failed pin attempt. Daizee rolls up Sara for two. Sora stands up top waiting to attack Sara, but Daizee keeps getting in the way. Malcriada and Sara whip Daizee to the ropes which crotches Sora. Sara hits a piledriver on Sora. Sara pins her, but pulls her up at two. Sara kicks her right in the head, but picks her up again at the two count. Sara picks up Sora and nails the Royal Butterfly. Sara goes foe the pin, but picks her up again at two. The referee decides this is enough and calls for the bell at the 7:05 mark. Daizee and Bullfight Sora win via “Castigo Excesivo (Excessive Punishment)” and disqualification. Sara stomps away looking mad. **1/4

Afterwards, both Daizee Haze and Sara Del Ray had words for Leonard F. Chikarason

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Sal Rinauro

Sal needs to come back more so I can hear “Rock Me Amadeus” in CHIKARA more. Sal takes his shirt off, again to the fans dismay. The fans chant “headlock”, regarding him losing to a headlock lost night in a match with Mike Quackenbush. Both men lock up, and Sal gets upset that he can’t match up whatsoever. Sal calls for a test of strength and flexes. Claudio obeys the crowds chants and lifts his arms. However. Sal is too short to reach. Sal throws a dollar on the mat. Referee Bryce Remsburg bends down to pick it up, and Sal gets on Bryce’s shoulders. Sal and Claudio lock up and Claudio gets a wristlock. Sal reverses it but Claudio goes up top and applies and abdominal stretch while Sal is still on Bryce’s shoulders! Sal asks for a test of strength again. Claudio obliges and takes Sal to the corner. Bryce steps out and Claudio leans Sal’s body forward while still locking fingers. Claudio pushes Sal back up top, and Sal slaps Claudio in the face. Claudio grabs Sal by the throat and leans him forward again. Claudio places Sal back up top, and Sal slaps Claudio again. Claudio slaps Sal, and Sal falls off the corner to the mat. Claudio sets up for the Giant Swing and Sal grabs the bottom rope. Claudio slams Sal down the mat and walks the second rope. Claudio misses an elbow drop. Sal takes the advantage and grabs Claudio’s legs for a Giant Swing. Sal can’t budge Claudio whatsoever. Sal hands Bryce a foot hoping it will work. It does not. Claudio blocks an elbow drop, and presses Sal over his head. Sal floats down and tries a dropkick. Claudio catches it, and gives Sal the Giant Swing for 12 rotations. Claudio gives Sal a second Giant Swing. Claudio pins Sal while holding onto his legs. Sal gets the shoulder up, so Claudio gives Sal a third Giant Swing. Sal slaps his chest to tap out, making Claudio the winner in 6:47. This was more fun than the Sal/Quackenbush match from the night before, and the crowd was way more into it. Again, I am not giving this a rating, but this was good comedy wrestling.

Trios Increibles
Ultramantis Black, Chuck Taylor, & STIGMA vs. Crossbones, Icarus, & Colin Delaney

In a pre-match promo, Ryuichi Kawakami presents Chuck Taylor with a bottle of something. Last time he was given a bottle from Japan, it was hair tonic that turned his hair green.

Chuck and Icarus start circling each other. Icarus and Chuck tag in STIGMA and Colin. They stall before tagging in Ultramantis Black and Crossbones. Crossbones lays down for Mantis, but referee Nick Papagorgio refuses to make the count. They get back to their feet. Mantis lands a series of overhand chops on Crossbones. Crossbones body blocks Mantis and then kicks Mantis down with a kick. Crossbones splashes Mantis in the corner, and Mantis slips out to the floor. Chuck tags in and dropkciks Crossbones down. Crossbones leaves and Icarus rolls up Chuck for two. Icarus takes out Chuck with a series of rare Lucha maneuvers. Chuck elbows Icarus in the face, runs up the ropes, and hops over Icarus. Chuck gets bieled to the apron, but rams his elbow into Icarus’ mid-section. Chuck hits Icarus with a springboard dropkick which sends Icarus to the arena floor. Chuck tries a pescado, but Icarus moves and he lands on his legs. STIGMA and Colin come in and trade forearms after a series of evasions. STIGMA turns a clothesline attempt into a suplex. STIGMA chokes Colin with his belt. All the Rudos enter to begin a chain of illegal maneuvers (hair pulling, mouth pulling, biting, etc.) The rudos each take turns hitting moves on each other. Chuck looks for the Sole Food on Icarus, but Icarus hits the Shiranui. Chuck goes to the floor. Vökoder comes out and grabs Mantis’ staff. Leonard F. Chikarason comes out and sends Vökoder to the back. In the ring, STIGMA is beating on Icarus in the corner. The lights go out, and the video with the man in all white that we saw at Young Lions Cup VII, Night 3 comes on the video screen. Mantis backs away to the arena entrance, but TWO MEN in all white appear behind him! Mantis spots them and runs for his life to the back. STIGMA picks up Icarus for the Stigmata, but Icarus rolls forward with a Prawn Hold to score the pin in 6:42. Well this was a lot of fun for the short time it lasted. Obviously it was a big set up for the Eye of Tyr storyline, but that’s just fine. **1/2

The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. The Roughnecks (Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood)

If The Osirian Portal win this match, they get a Campeonatos de Parejas title shot. The Roughnecks just lost their match for Campeonatos last night against The Colony, so they are looking to get back on the path for three more points and a second shot. Brodie and Amasis kick things off. Brodie throws a chair in the ring, and the referee tosses it right back out. Brodie pushes Amasis down into his corner. Brodie pushes Amasis down again, and flexes to the crowd. Amasis ducks a lock-up, and Brodie slaps Amasis in the face. Brodie hits the ropes and Grizzly tags himself in. Grizzly applies a side headlock on Amasis. Amasis shots Grizzly to the ropes, drop downs, leapfrogs, and catches Grizzly with a dropkick. Amasis springboards off the second rope into an armdrag. Amasis does a little fancy foot work before slapping Grizzly. Brodie comes in, as does Ophidian. Ophidian evades an attack and victory rolls Brodie for two. Ophidian hops to the second rope. Brodie blocks a tornado DDT and slaps Ophidian in the face. Ophidian comes off the top and takes Brodie over with a hurricanrana. Ophidian takes over Grizzly with a Japenese armdrag and tags in Grizzly. The Portal hit the wheelbarrow into a shoulderblock in the corner. Amasis fireman carry’s Grizzly, Ophidian lands the double knees, and Amasis hits a splash. Brodie pulls the referee to break the count. Amasis tosses Grizzly in the corner. Grizzly pops up Amasis onto the ropes, and Brodie smacks Amasis in the face from the apron. Brodie tags himself in and beats on Amasis for awhile. The Roughnecks continue their onslaught on Amasis, but they don’t get along very well at all. Amasis ducks an axe handle from Grizzly and hits a running STO. Brodie pulls Amasis away from his corner, but Amasis still tags in Ophidian after rolling through a clothesline. Amasis rolls up Brodie into an armdrag. He hops off the second ropes and wheelbarrows onto Brodie’s shoulders into a headscissors. Ophidian then spins Brodie around by his legs and slams Brodie right onto his head. Ophidian knocks Grizzly off the apron. Ophidian hit a low-headscissros into a DDT. Ophidian looks for an inverted wheelbarrow pin. Brodie blocks, but Amasis’ shoulderblock gives Ophidian the momentum to pin him for two. Amasis pescado’s out, but Grizzly moves. In the ring, Brodie thrusts Ophidian in the throat. Brodie chops Ophidian in the corner, and pulls Grizzly by his head back into the ring. Brodie whips Ophidian into Grizzly who puts his feet up. Brodie hits a superkick on Ophidian, and Grizzly hits a hurricanarana onto Ophidian so his head his the corner. Brodie hits a big half-nelson suplex on Ophidian for two. Ophidian rolls to the floor. The Roughnecks argue and Brodie picks up Grizzly to toss him on the Portal. Grizzly floats down and dives onto the Portal himself. Grizzly tosses Ophidian back in. Brodie hits the Big Boot and the Black Hole Slam on Ophidian. Amasis breaks up Brodie’s pinfall attempt. Grizzly beats on Amasis and calls for the Doomsday Device. Brodie puts Ophidian on his shoulders and Grizzly goes up. Ophidian slips down and ducks both Big Boots. They try again, and Brodie nails Grizzly with the Big Boot! Amasis comes back in. The Portal land a series of chops. They then hit stereo jumping kicks off the ropes. Ophdiian rolls out of the ring and sends Brodie into the barricade with a headscissors. Amasis puts Grizzly in the middle of the ring. Both of the Portal head up top and hit the Osirian Sacrament on Grizzly for the pin in 14:11. The Osirian Portal now have three points and will face The Colony for the Campeones de Parejas in November. This was a great tag team match, and the Portal’s Tecnico turn is for sure working. Brodie continues to impress as the sleeper hit of the entire roster. I very much enjoyed this match. ***1/4

Brodie leaves Grizzly, but decides against it and heads back in the ring. Brodie helps up Grizzly before taking him right back down with a vicious Big Boot. Grizzly laid in the ring, and as of now, this is last we will see of Grizzly in CHIKARA.

Torneo Cibernetico
Mike Quackenbush, Hallowicked, Player Uno, Matt Jackson, Carpenter Ant, Lince Dorado, Cheech Hernandez, & Soldier Ant vs. Fire Ant, Jigsaw, Nick Jackson, Player Dos, K.C. “Cloudy” Day, Frightmare, Green Ant, & Helios

If you think I am going to do a move by move analysis of this match, you’re crazy. I’ll list the eliminations (in order) and other interesting/important notes of the match.

The Rules

Lucha tags are in effect, meaning in addition to physically contacting a wrestling, leaving the ring counts as a legal tag. Each team has a batting order that much be followed. That means that the wrestler in the ring must tag out to the next man in the batting order. Only the next wrestler in the batting order is up on the apron while the remaining teammates on each team wait on the floor. If the batting order is broken, the team can be disqualified. The match is under elimination rules by pin fall, submission, disqualification or count out. There can only be one winner, so if more than one man on a team survives when all members of another team have been eliminated those teammates must wrestle each other to determine the winner.

Eliminations:

– Green Ant is the first one eliminated at 15:58. Hallowicked dove onto his partner Frightmare, and Player Uno followed. Green Ant came in looking to dive, but Matt Jackson came in as he was next in the batting order for Uno’s team. Matt and Green Ant went back and forth with a series of pin attempts, but Matt counted Green Ant’s shoulders down when Green Ant went for La Magistral.
– K.C. “Cloudy” Day gets eliminated at 20:20 after Hallowicked blasts him with the Yakuza Kick. Teammates were flying in and out of the ring (maintaining their team order). Cloudy looked to dive on a group outside, but ate the kick and took the fall.
– Player Uno was eliminated at 25:22 when Player Dos hit him with the frog splash. Nick Jackson was in the ring and hit a superkick. He rolled out, and Dos came in as the next man landing the frog splash. The referee counted three right as Uno kicked out, making this particular pinfall questionable.
– Cheech Hernandez gets eliminated at 32:43. Cheech and Frightmare were going at it, and Cheech had control. After hitting a Superman spear in the corner, Cheech placed Frightmare on his shoulders. Frightmare turned and dropped Cheech on his head with a crucifix bomb. Frightmare followed up with the Kneecolopsy, and that was all she wrote.
– Nick Jackson gets eliminated at 36:53. After hitting the Mad Scientist Bomb on Soldier Ant, Jigsaw tagged in Nick Jackson. Nick went for the 450, but Soldier Ant got the knees up. Soldier Ant tagged in Quackenbush. Quack made short work of Nick, as it took a boot to the face, a palm strike, and the Quackendriver III to eliminate one-half of the Young Bucks.
– Matt Jackson gets eliminated at 39:15. Matt had full control of Player Dos, hitting a Finlay Roll into a moonsault. Matt even hit his signature tumbleweed ace crusher, but even that only got him a two. Matt went up top for another dive. As he came off, Player Dos rolled to his feet. Even though Matt rolled through his dive, Dos caught him in a small package as he got to his feet and pinned him.
– Frightmare is eliminated at 40:16. Frightmare and Carpenter Ant jumped in as the legal men on their team. Carpenter took out Frightmare with a seated Polish hammer. Carpenter Ant then hit a Burning Hammer variation to pin Frightmare.
– Jigsaw is eliminated at 41:59. Helios and Lince came in and Lince took out Helios. Lince went for the Lynxsault. Fire Ant grabbed Lince’s legs and draped him on the second rope. Helios tagged in Jigsaw, who came off the top with a double stomp. Jigsaw looked for the Jig N’ Tonic, but Lince fought out of it. Lince turned a hurricanrana into the CHIKARA Special which forced Jigsaw to tap out.
– Player Dos is eliminated at 43:02. Dos looked to roll-up Lince with a wheelbarrow, but Lince dropped down and pinned Dos instead.
– Helios is eliminated at 46:18. Hallowicked tosses Fire Ant to the floor by his corner. While Helios was looking at Fire Ant, Hallowicked pulled him up to the top rope. Hallowicked landed the Super Fisherman’s Buster to pin Helios, and gain revenge for Helios beating him in a singles match the night before.
– Lince Dorado is eliminated in 47:18. Lince dropped to his knees when Fire Ant tried a wheelbarrow, but this time it didn’t work. Lince instead hit a standing Spanish Fly. Lince looked for the CHIKARA Special, but Fire Ant pushed him back and rolled him up for the pin instead.
– Fire Ant is eliminated in 47:30. Soldier Ant runs in and is sent to the floor. Quackenbush comes in, lands the Quackendriver IV on Fire Ant, and eliminates him. Fire Ant’s entire team has been eliminated, and the remaining members of Soldier Ant’s team must fight until there is only one.
– Hallowicked is eliminated in 48:17. Quackenbush gets sent to the floor, and Carpenter Ant follows with a dive. Soldier Ant blocks a Yakuza Kick from Hallowicked and hits the TKO on him for the pin.
– Mike Quackenbush is eliminated in 48:45. Soldier Ant blocked a palm strike and hit Quack with a TKO. Quackenbush kicked out. Soldier Ant then rolled up Quackenbush with the Skayde Schoolboy Especial to pin him! Soldier Ant and Carpenter Ant are the final two.
– Carpenter Ant wins the 2009 Torneo Cibernetico when he forces Solider Ant to tap out to the a REVERSE CHIKARA Special in 51:20. Soldier Ant applies the CHIKARA Special after some hard back and forth, but Carpenter Ant escapes. Soldier Ant goes for the TKO, and Soldier Ant floats off. Carpenter Ant takes Soldier Ant down to his stomach and locks on the reverse CHIKARA special to win the whole shebang.

Needless to say, this was a great match with a very surprising ending. I was shocked to see Carpenter Ant win and his win leads me to believe that CHIKARA has big things in store for him. What that is, I don’t know, but I am very intrigued. All in all this was a great Lucha spot fest with guys like Frightmare showing off their stuff like never before. ****1/4

In the back, Quackenbush confronts Carpenter Ant:

The 411: This was a one match show, but it’s Cibernetico so what do you expect? The Cibernetico itself was fantastic and worth the purchase of the DVD alone. You get some fun matches in the undercard, like the fabulous team of The Throwbacks who I can not get enough of. Pick this one up folks.
Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]