The Furious Flashbacks – ROH Glory By Honor V

The Furious Flashbacks – ROH Glory By Honor V

I hate to say good-bye. Yet we have to say farewell. For we shall meet again. That I can foretell

Hello and welcome. To kick things off here I’d like to start by saying this will, in all likelihood, be my final wrestling review. I started writing them back in 2001 when I was off work with glandular fever and couldn’t really do a fat lot other than type away at my PC. It got to be quite addictive and over the years I’ve had a great time reviewing and writing about wrestling in general. Including a stint as the live Raw recapper for 411, where I’d routinely be up until 4.30am to write it. My output has drastically been reduced over the last 6 months or so. I stopped writing things that required deadlines, like the weekly Furious on Film News, which I stopped writing in August. The idea behind that being I had less time to contribute a regular column so I figured no regular column = time to write irregular ones. But now I’m facing another drop off in time that’ll be available to me. I’m getting married in May and my mind is on that and my relationship more often than it is on my writing. I felt a few of my articles of late haven’t really measured up to the standards I find to be acceptable. The lack of comments from readers seem to reflect that. Well, it’s either that or they’re not interested in what I’m writing about.

However I don’t think I can ever call it a ‘retirement’ as I don’t like to say “never” so maybe you’ll get more reviews from me later when time is on my side. At present I don’t even own any wrestling tapes/DVD’s that I haven’t already reviewed. GBH5 is the last DVD I have unviewed. I’d like to thank a few people for making my writing ‘career’ possible while I still have the floor. Tony Cottam, the scholar and gent, who let me write for SmashWrestling back in the day. Without him I’d have found it difficult to get my columns out there. Not only that I consider him a good friend and I’m glad I had the opportunity to know him. Also Bernard Rage who housed my much requested archive at FuriousRage.com for several years. He’s a good guy and we may have something interesting lined up by the time this posts. Or maybe not! You never can tell. I’d also like to thank Larry Csonka for hiring me to write at 411 in April 2005. I’ve since contributed some 230 video reviews to 411’s archive. My thanks go out to him not only as a great boss but also as a stand-up guy who’s listened to my drunken ramblings or more than one occasion. Also I’d like to thank the Movie zone guys especially Chad Webb and George Sirois who feel like family. Maybe not brothers but cousins who come over all the time. And also thanks to you, the reader for reading what I’ve been writing the last 10 years or so. For you I will try to contribute something where ever possible. I hope to still find time for the odd Series Link, roundtable contribution and Fact or Fiction.

During the course of this review I expect there may be a few tangents and strange comments. My apologies in advance for this.

VIDEO RECAPS. We get footage of Bryan Danielson wrestling to 60 minute draws two nights in a row but in the second one against Colt Cabana he separates his shoulder and STILL goes 50 minutes afterwards. Now that, ladies and gents, is one tough motherfucker right there. He’s now retired the Pure title so it can’t be resurrected. Elsewhere the Briscoes have an issue with Homicide, which has gotten so serious that Homicide has called upon his old partner Samoa Joe to help him out! Jim Cornette joins us to say that ROH is debuting at the Manhattan Centre in New York. He doesn’t care for Homicide either and he’s determined to make Homicide’s homecoming miserable.

Another recap shows KENTA threatening to come for Danielson’s belt and Joe saving Homicide from a beating off the Briscoes. Cornette announces that Bruno Sammartino will be there too. ROH really needed a TV show, shame no one gets HDNet. Cornette talks about all the title matches that are on the show. Delirious hassles Cornette for a big match so Cornette books him against Adam Pearce to teach him a lesson. Danielson talks about how he was told he’d need surgery and his doctor told him he couldn’t wrestle. “Pain is temporary, pride is forever”. The whole video recap thing does a fine job of building up the already impressive card.

On the DVD you also get “The Victory of Love”, a music video by Jimmy Jacobs where he sings about Lacey.

15TH SEPTEMBER 2006. We’re in East Windsor, Connecticut. Glory By Honor V. Night One.

BACKSTAGE The Briscoes talk about beating down KENTA, Marufuji, Homicide and Samoa Joe. Not all at the same time though.

VENUE NOTE – Due to a “permit issue” they’re outside in a tent, which makes for an interesting setting. I wonder if being in Connecticut had anything to do with that? Yanno, WWE’s backyard and all. I seem to remember Vince McMahon and his associates not being above that in the past. After all you don’t get to number one by being nice to everyone else.

RHETT TITUS/PELLE PRIMEAU v RING CREW EXPRESS (Dunn & Marcos)

I like that Dunn & Marcos are back to open the show. They have a good shtick and the crowd dig them…LIKE A HURRICANE! I also like that the rookies from the ROH training school wear basic red tights to show they haven’t earned their status just yet. The rookies get an absolute beating and the Stage Dive finishes in short order. SQUASH.

POST MATCH the Kings of Wrestling arrive through the crowd. Hero has a mic. He tells us the KOW are the best team in wrestling today so they’re out here to prove it.

KINGS OF WRESTLING v RING CREW EXPRESS

Just to show how unprepared they were for this show there’s grass around on the floor outside the ring. It’s literally just wrestling outside with a tent to cover shit up. This is as much of a mismatch as the opener but at least Dunn & Marcos get some of their spots in between the KOW tag team abuse. Claudio getting both the RCE and spinning around with them hanging off his shoulders is awesome. Marcos takes the KRS-1 for the loss. SQUASH.

BACKSTAGE Christopher Daniels cuts a promo on Nigel McGuinness speculating as to which Nigel he’s about to face. But whichever Nigel he faces, the jerk or the fighter, he’s still the better man. He wants to remind the ROH fans who he really is tonight. Nigel gets to retort saying both those characters are Nigel McGuinness but Daniels has to be aware that Nigel has improved drastically and he intends to take Marufuji’s belt tomorrow night.

JIMMY JACOBS w/Lacey v RICKY REYES v JACK EVANS v COLT CABANA

Lacey gets HATE on the way out here. Dollar bills thrown at her, “crack whore” chant plus various other abuse. Who says wrestling fans are misogynists? She’s pretty much the focus here with the feud between Jacobs & Cabana. The latter made out with the former’s girlfriend. Jack Evans makes fun of Lacey by gesturing that she call him. Colt has to one up that and gives Lacey a playful slap on the rump. This is clearly about the angle rather than the match but that’s not always a bad thing. The thing about ROH doing an ‘angle’ match is they’ll usually do something interesting outside of the angle too. Evans has learned a few new moves and uses the ropes to stay on his feet off a dropkick while flipping onto the apron. TASTY! Jacobs is running the angle so he’s all EMO. Colt drags him out of that malaise by showcasing a few sexual poses. Jimmy’s dedication to this character is impressive though. He’s making himself look like a complete tool, which is a good place for a heel to be. You know that eventually his anger will get focused and he’ll be able to get his hands on the babyface. It’s like the traditional heel/face structure in reverse! The babyface seduced the heel’s girlfriend. Wrestling sure did get fucked up in the last 10 years or so. Lacey tries to get Colt & Jacobs to work as a team, which does not make Jacobs happy. Especially when Colt just uses it as an excuse to make Jacobs look like an idiot. Mostly by encouraging Jacobs to hit a move on Reyes then moving them both out of the way so Jacobs just eats canvas. Despite the fun Colt & Jacobs are having it’s Evans who pops the crowd like crazy with his high impact craziness. Including a Flying Space Tiger Drop. Reyes grabs him in the dragon sleeper but Colt breaks it up with the quebrada! That was very cool. Colt “accidentally” lariats Jacobs. Sadly the tent is too low for Evans to hit his usual finish but he does pop off an impressive somersault legdrop for the win. **1/2. Basically it came down to Colt & Jacobs. But neither one of them needed a win so Evans gets to go over instead. He’s impressed me the last couple of times I’ve seen him. It’s as if he’s learned when to hit a high spot. And his offence is so off the charts that his normal moves look incredible. I’d like to see him get a shot at the WWE although he literally has no moves he could use there.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS v NIGEL MCGUINNESS

Since Daniels started competing for TNA he’s really been relegated to the midcards in ROH. Which I can totally understand. TNA has a habit of changing its mind about when and where other companies can use their talent. At time of writing no TNA talent is allowed to work ROH shows. Two great wrestlers here but there doesn’t seem to be any kind of a plan. Just the basics of a match. Perhaps they didn’t want them to steal the show? Nigel works the arm, which is the norm for him. Nigel has trouble with the headstand because the tent is in the way, which gives Daniels an opening to slap him off. TENT PSYCHOLOGY! I actually like that one better than Evans altering his finisher. Daniels works the neck. This makes as much sense as Nigel working the arm as he has finishers that effect that body part. Daniels busts out the Arabian press into the neck crank. Jared points out Nigel’s “good ring position” although he was just lying there. All he did was put his arm out. Daniels put him in his ring position to set up the Arabian press. Nigel gets caught with a forearm uppercut and retorts with MANY of his own. He is European. “Look out for the lariat” screams some helpful fan. REBOUND LARIAT! That gets 2. Nigel now has the hang of the tent and uses it to help him do the headstand and mule kicks Daniels for 2. Daniels switches to one arm for the iconoclasm selling the arm injury. Nigel goes for the rebound again but Daniels counters into his Octopus hold. Nigel won’t quit so Daniels goes for the BME and can’t do it because the tent is in the way. TENT PSYCHOLOGY! Daniels goes for the Arabian press but Nigel knows that from last time and blocks into the TOWER OF LONDON for the win. ***. I like that Nigel out-does Daniels. It’s nice to see ROH promoting wrestlers from within and having them beat guys from outside who they can realistically beat. I also like that he doesn’t really go heel or face here.

BACKSTAGE Samoa Joe talks about Roderick Strong and his previous win was a fluke. Morishima is here and he says hi.

DAVEY RICHARDS v AUSTIN ARIES

Aries has his ribs taped to prevent his floating rib from floating away. Both tiny, tiny men here…with thick legs that kick hard. Redje arrives and we go off on a lengthy discussion about dangerous wrestling moves and whether Dr Tom Pritchard could invent the Coronary Bypass to prevent the Hart Attack. Also where Dr Death got his doctorate from? This leads to a discussion about how a cowboy gimmick could take Davey to the next level. Davey “Brokeback” Richards! He’d have to do more backbreakers. Could lead to feud with Roderick Strong. BACKBREAKER FROM RICHARDS! And they’re already in a tent. This shit writes itself! Meanwhile in the match there’s lots of kicking. I like that so it’s ok but it’s kinda repetitive to type up. I like how Aries can do the slingshot hilo because of his magical tape. The commentators speculate about what Austin Aries is thinking. I’m thinking he’s thinking about how great Alec Baldwin was in Glengarry Glen Ross so he channels that into his performance. We trade from kicks to forearms to slap to forearms to kicks. They’re just beating each other up. Davey does the handspring head kick, although earlier Aries was able to counter it. This time he just stands there looking like a mug. Prazak with a confusing “that’s all the dropkick” call. Pace picks up significantly. Davey is angry. DAVEY SMASH! Stretch Muffler. What the heck is a muffler anyway? Redje suggests it’s the back of the knee. BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Aries hits the finish out of nowhere…for 2! Davey gets kicked square in the face and BRAINBUSTERED for the loss. Hmm, maybe Davey thought the first brainbuster was the finish. **3/4. Certainly suffered from some flaws (like Aries countering a move then forgetting it) but was INTENSE. I enjoyed it.

INTERMISSION GMC interviews Colt & Jacobs. Lacey says it’s all about “wins”. Erm, you both lost. “GMC, you are the man. Like your tie” – Colt. Colt takes Lacey off on a date while Jacobs looks on miserably.

SHANE HAGADORN v DELIRIOUS

Hagadorn’s trophy is the same size as the ones handed out to the losers in the opening events in Japan. Hagadorn plays his part well here just playing up to Delirious’ antics and hiding behind the ref. “I don’t know what you’re saying” – Hagadorn. Delirious’ offence is mostly shouting and tripping Hagadorn up. Then laughing at him. PANIC ATTACK!! Ouch. COBRA STRETCH! It’s over. *. Another squash. Hagadorn played his role fine until we got into the wrestling part.

RODERICK STRONG v SAMOA JOE

THERE WAS A FIREFIIIIIGHT!!! Roderick loves Boondock Saints. Joe is the one guy who went to TNA who still had this huge fan support afterwards. Joe is a simple man. He just wants to beat something up. Much like Davey-Aries this match has predictably high amounts of striking. In this case the chops of Strong vs Joe’s…everything. But like Davey-Aries the strikes are very good and I like that anyway so there’s no complaints. Joe’s kicks are nothing short of evil here. You just wouldn’t want to take one of those. Worked or not. Which is the difference between Joe and the WWE’s version; Umaga. Both look scary but Joe’s execution of moves looks nasty and painful. Umaga’s moves, buttalanche aside, doesn’t. Strong comes back with striking of his own, also entertaining, until Joe stops that with the STJOE! PELE KICK! Joe’s athleticism is SCARY. Strong is a little sweaty so Joe offers him a FACEWASH! Joe stops off to think about mayonnaise for a while. He looks deep in thought there. Strong can’t seem to get off a big move because Joe blocks anything that looks like a suplex or backbreaker and he’s real heavy so he can do that. STRIKING, STRIKING, BACKBREAKER!!! Holy shit! Joe barely even jumped there. Strong used his freaky retard strength! The moths by the lights are really bugging me. Outdoor shows, eh? Redje suggests they like wrestling but moths only enjoy lights. That’s it! Strong with a tope but his advantage doesn’t last long as Joe slaps him about and gets the STF. Joe hits a powerslam and stops off to wonder if he could put mayonnaise on a hot dog. Yeah, that’d work. Strong can’t really get the Stronghold so he opts for charging instead and Joe sweeps the legs. Strong knees the face and barely gets the Tiger Driver for 2. Not between the legs because Joe is too heavy. Would have looked AWESOME. Up top and Joe ISLAND DRIVERS HIM OFF THE TOP!!! OH…SHIT, SON! ****. That finish was perfect. Strong is unfortunately dead but what a finish.

JAY & MARK BRISCOE v KENTA/NAOMICHI MARUFUJI

The Briscoes have been pissing KENTA off for a while now so it’s on! Morishima & Yone are ringside. Crowd dig both NOAH guys and give them a big reception. Marufuji brings a lot of flips and everyone else seems welcome to let him be the star because he’s GHC champion. Marufuji steps on Mark’s face and all the ref can manage is “get off the ropes”. How about the dude’s face? So far the match has been very steady. Nothing to get excited about and not the same atmosphere you’d have with a lot of other top Japanese talent coming in. Or even the Dragon Gate guys. It’s also very strange to see the Briscoes pacing themselves. KENTA gets bieled. Hey, he was six feet off of Biel. Marufuji amuses the crowd by attacking the knee into the Mutalock into the Oriental Crossbow. The Briscoes come back with the SIX POINT STANCE! U-S-AAAA! KENTA breaks out the awesome with a slingshot stomp that misses and then a little back kick to the temple. We sit here pondering the Briscoes ethnicity. Their real name is Pugh. So what, Dutch-Irish? Their mother was from Wales. Jay misses his third crossbody on KENTA having hit two and you know he gets kicked for daring to try that shit three times. Mark slingshot stomps him. Oh, THAT’LL LEARN YA! Splash Mountain/neckbreaker on KENTA gets 2. Splashbreaker? NECK MOUNTAIN! There’s some lovely countering in this combined with some nice teaming. Crowd thinks it’s awesome. Yeah, I’ll go along with that. Jay runs in with a press DVD. Shiranui! BUSAIKU KNEE KICK! Everyone down! KENTA dumps Jay on the head with a tiger suplex. OWWW! KICK SANDWICHES!!! That was a conchairto with kicks! GO TO SREEEEEEEEEPP! You know that’ll do it. ****. Not quite as good as some other Japanese guest matches (I have everything else ‘special’ clocked higher) but a great way to end night one. After all night two has all the marquee match up’s.

POST MATCH the NOAH contingent spill in to celebrate.

Memories…

I asked one of my readers to throw together some generic questions so I could head out leaving my thoughts behind. So here are some questions pitched to me about what I done learned in the past ten years.

What’s your favourite match, ever?

Mitsuhara Misawa v Toshiaki Kawada from June 1994. It really is the best match, ever. If I was forced to watch just two wrestlers battling each other for all eternity it’d be these two. And I probably wouldn’t get bored. Previous to that it was Shawn Michaels v Bret Hart Ironman match from Wrestlemania 12. But as much as I love the psychology, battle almost, in that match it isn’t a patch on Misawa v Kawada.

Desert Island Discs – you can only take five wrestling shows with you, which five?

Wrestlemania X7, the ECW DVD that the WWE released (which I lent to Fanboy a couple of years ago and never got back!), Misawa ***** Bouts (not sure that’s available anywhere as a commercial release but it has the aforementioned best match ever on it), the WWE’s Eddy Guerrero DVD and the 2004 TPI.

What was your favourite company to review?

WCW. Regardless of quality I felt WCW provided me with the most interesting things to talk about. Not always in the ring, frequently backstage politics were far more entertaining than their angles, but they just pissed so much talent and money away it was unbelievable to watch. I also hate the company but I guess you can’t have everything from life.

What was your least favourite company to review?

I found Dragon Gate next to impossible. I couldn’t tell the wrestlers apart and every match had a dozen other guys jumping into it. It was hugely entertaining but so hard to review that I don’t think I’ve read regular Dragon Gate reviews from anyone. Not a surprise. There were also times when I was recapping Raw at 3.30am when I wished the company would just go bankrupt so I didn’t have to do the recaps anymore. Not always…but some weeks.

Who are your favourite current wrestlers?

Super Dragon, Samoa Joe, Bryan Danielson, KENTA. I like the hard hitting guys very much. In the WWE there really is no one to touch Shawn Michaels…even today. He fucking retired over 10 years ago! And here he is still superkicking his way into the Hall of Fame. Is he the greatest in ring competitor of all time? Certainly, I think, in North America.

Who do you dislike watching?

Randy Orton. I don’t get the popularity. I just find him boring. Batista is incredibly frustrating too because he kind of understands wrestling (after all being mentored by Ric Flair & Triple H you’re bound to learn something) but can’t quite execute a match right. Triple H is pretty hard to watch because of how great he used to be when he was 100% healthy. Kane is pretty bad nowadays. Not that I was ever a fan.

Who are your favourite wrestlers of all time?

Ok, top 10 in descending order…

10. Kenta Kobashi/Roddy Piper. Two totally different guys but I couldn’t choose. Obviously Kobashi for the wrestling aspect and Piper for his character work. Piper was just so loud and obnoxious and he managed to encapsulate just how much I hated Hulk Hogan. Something no one else could quite get over. And I really hated Hulk Hogan. Not like the smart marks who came along later and said Hogan sucks. When I first saw Hogan on TV I laughed at him because I thought he looked fucking ridiculous. I only ever cheered him ONCE at Wrestlemania against the Rock. Got caught up in the moment for about 15 minutes or so. Sorry, Dwayne. I blame Canada for that one.

9. Mick Foley. If only he hadn’t kept coming back. If he’d retired when he did in 2000 with that Hell in a Cell he’d have been at least two places higher. But he keeps coming back. I used to be as big a mark for Cactus Jack as for anyone in my life in wrestling. From WCW in the early 90’s through to his flirtation with Mankind. He was insane. Everyone else caught on after the Hell in a Cell in 1998. Great promo guy. One of the best.

8. The Rock. How I wished I’d supported him more during his career. Looking back he was just gold 99% of the time. A larger than life star who was bigger than the sport. Now he’s making movies and seems happy doing that. I make a point of watching all of them…which is more than can be said for other wrestlers who’ve done movies.

7. Toshiaki Kawada. This guy is one of the all-time great wrestling jerks. How he was never a massive crossover star I’ll never know. Hell, Shinzaki and Omori worked for the WWE! Kawada would have been a smash there or even more so in WCW pre-politics. So many of my favourites today seem to take cues from him. Even the best jerks in Japan can’t hit his level. Not even Ohtani!

6. Jushin Liger. The shotei is one of my favourite strikes because of Liger. And heel Liger is even better! Amazing talent and even more amazing that he seems to have lost nothing over the years. Hell, he’s 44 now but he peaked like 20 years ago and hasn’t come down yet. I doubt there’s anyone else in wrestling who has his longevity combined with the sheer skill level.

5. Randy Savage. He’s a total goof but the indecipherable promos and his excellent work in Spider-Man make up for that. Bonesaw is ready!

4. Raven. I was just a total mark for Raven. Mainly for the promos but his character was amazing. I marked for him in ECW. Marked for him in WCW and then in WWE. I got the chance to meet him and tell him so. I have a photo!

3. Bret Hart. I think Bret is the wrestler most responsible for getting me into wrestling as an adult. As a kid I was sort of interested. But I didn’t like the idea of everyone being all muscle and just rolling around. It didn’t appeal so much. But Bret was like a rock star out there with his leather jacket and his hair. And rock music was something I could relate to. So Bret became my favourite based on that and the stories he told in the ring. If I were a wrestler I’d want to look like that, wrestle like that and be a star on my own terms. That’s Bret. Sure, he whinged a little too much from 1997 onwards but he’s still one my favourites.

2. Mitsuhara Misawa. Although he’s faded a bit as his career has gone on Misawa was the God of 90’s Puro. From his early work with Tsuruta through to his later work with Kobashi. It was all gold.

1. Eddy Guerrero. It always used to be Bret until he retired but Eddy was close even then and I think he had my greatest ever markout moment when he beat Lesnar for the title. I was literally jumping out of my seat for joy when the three count went down. I’ve never felt that for any other wrestler.

What’s the greatest entrance music of all time?

Easy.

I have this on my phone. I know, I know. But it is awesome. My second favourite would be Jushin Liger’s “Ikari no Jushin”.

During the video Liger gives Misawa a shotei. I’m surprised the entire world didn’t implode with the awesomeness.

Anyway, let’s get on with the review and back to Ring of Honor.

16TH SEPTEMBER 2006. We’re in New York City. Glory By Honor V. Night Two.

OUTSIDE Bryan Danielson points out MSG and says legends are made in New York City. He walks down the road to the Manhattan Centre. He says KENTA will have to kill him because this belt is his legacy.

VENUE NOTE – I really dig the inside of the Manhattan Centre. The architecture is tremendous.

DAVEY RICHARDS v JACK EVANS

Davey gets served. Two contrasting styles here and Jack’s comes off best to start with as he busts out rope assisted avoiding, the dropsault where he lands on his feet and then bouncing off the top to land on his feet again. He tries a pose and because his moves aren’t hard hitting Davey just kicks him off the apron. Davey starts throwing Evans around and he accidentally breaks the corner off the timekeepers table. Oh no! Where will the timekeeper lean now? “Brokeback” Richards with the backbreaker. Living the gimmick, love it. Space Flying Tiger Drop!! That gets a holy shit chant. 630 SPLASH….gets knees! That’s a form of a backbreaker. Running powerslam…gets 2. Redje mishears “will Jack Evans” as Wheeljack Evans, which would also be a great gimmick. Davey gets pissed off and breaks out Kawada kicks then throws Evans into the air and kicks him on the way down. STRETCH MUFFLER! Evans taps out. **3/4. I wanted it to be longer! And I don’t think Evans should tap unless something truly sickening is applied due to his flexibility. Evans will probably need to get that muffler checked out after that stretch. Redje suggests the theme from the TV show Rawhide as more appropriate entrance music for Davey “Brokeback” Richards and his new cowboy gimmick.

BACKSTAGE Nigel talks about how short life is and how this be one of his most important nights of his career.

PROMO TIME – Bruno Sammartino. He says most of the crowd weren’t alive when he retired in 1981. He talks about how he didn’t agree with where wrestling was going when he left it but he’s seen some great talent here tonight. He shook hands with Yone on the way out who I’ve also shaken hands with, so there’s only one link in the chain there.

POST PROMO Joe and Morishima bump into each other. OH, IT’S FUCKING ON!!! Morishima feels slighted so we have a huge pull apart in the ring. Chris Daniels plays peacemaker to keep us from giving that shit away for free. Market it! Damn, one of the bigger irritations of stopping my reviewing run here is that its unlikely I’ll get to see Morishima’s ROH run. And I do like the guy. Yone too. Somebody push Yone!

ADAM PEARCE v DELIRIOUS

Pearce attacks ahead of the bell for HEEL HEAT. Delirious gets a few cheeky roll up’s before hiding under the ring. Delirious runs around and cannonballs him. Peace presses him over the top onto the lovely carpet in the Manhattan Centre. This match has limitations. There are only so many places they can go with both men’s moveset/gimmicks. NEVERENDING STORY…! FIFTY CLOTHESLINES! Delirious gets revved up! NEVERENDING STORY PART TWO! PANIC ATTACK! Shane Hagadorn runs out here and nails Delirious with knucks! What? BOO! Pearce with the piledriver for the win. **. Hagadorn looks life a gnome. Passable but the interference feels out of place for the company it’s in. Pearce calls him “my personal man servant”. Crowd responds by chanting “you’re a homo”.

JIMMY JACOBS w/Lacey v CHRISTOPHER DANIELS v COLT CABANA

So, Lacey’s Angels are desperate for wins so they keep getting booked in the same matches? Isn’t that cheating? Here, if they’re not retarded, they just double team Daniels. Bit of a throwaway for Daniels after last night’s match with Nigel. Jimmy is crying. Perhaps because the stink of Lacey is getting in his eyes. Colt runs a comedy spot where he grabs Lacey’s tits then falls under her skirt. HAHA. Lacey is still shrieking about her chaps teaming up. Jacobs gets pissy and goes after Colt but Lacey orders him to knock it off. Colt continues with the antics from yesterday where he makes Jacobs miss. Jacobs is off to mope in the corner. Jacobs accidentally spearing Colt gets a pop. Because of the heel miscue or because they’re happy for little Jimmy? Daniels has little trouble with Jacobs one on one and hits the BME for 2. Colt saves. Colt decides to wake the crowd up with an Asai moonsault. Colt wants the finish but Jacobs nut shots and CONTRA CODES Colt for the win. Crowd pop that big time considering the heel won. *1/2. Not a good match but the storyline is fun.

POST MATCH Jacobs is all “hey, I won” and bounces around celebrating in a genuinely entertaining moment but Lacey is all pissed about him kicking Colt south of the border. Sometimes when you win, you actually lose. And when you lose, you actually win. And when you tie, you actually win or lose.

PROMO TIME – Jim Cornette w/Briscoes. He immediately runs down Homicide and Low-Ki and New York. He goes on to say you’re either with him or against him. Most of the fans side with Homicide so Cornette refers to them as “pricks” and runs down New York some more. On the upside he says he promised Homicide a title shot so he’s getting that, here in New York, on December 23rd at Final Battle IF he wins tonight. Cornette suggests Homicide go back to “whatever island he came from” and wants the South to rise again. He actually mentioned the Confederacy.

JAY & MARK BRISCOE v SAMOA JOE/HOMICIDE w/Julius Smokes

Plenty of HEAT on this one. Faces clear the ring out; TOPE/TOPE CON HILO!! Homicide lands in the front row. Smokes sneaks in a nice cheap shot and actually gets a high five off JOE for it. Tree of woe dropkick. YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT! – Julius Smokes. A healthy appreciation for Friday is essential as a manager. Jay goes low to get some heat on Homicide and then goes NUTS by slamming the back of Homicide’s head into the rail repeatedly. The Grudge Match elements aren’t really coming through often enough in the early going. The pace slowed a great deal after the double dive opening. Homicide almost goes lucha with a forward roll before tagging out. “Joe’s gonna kill ya”. Mark takes the fight to him but Joe then kicks him in the face. Ooooh. That’ll leave a mark. FACE WASH! Smokes is running the whole Rottweiler thing. SPINNING PIMP SLAP!!! Joe rules all! Homicide in and he gets a DDT off the top on Mark but can’t pin because Jay is still in there so he connects with a flying knee on him too. By the time he’s finished Mark is already back up; suicide dive! Jay with the YAKUZA KICK on Joe. Homicide in; ACE CRUSHER. Joe murders Mark with a lariat and everyone is down. HEAD DROP BACKDROP DRIVER/LARIAT COMBO and Mark has to save. Doomsday is blocked with Joe pulling Mark out of the ring and killing him with the OLE OLE KICK. Jay Driller is blocked into the COP KILL…BLOCKED. Homicide rolls through – COP KILLAAAAAAHHH! Homicide gets the pin and the title shot on December 23rd. ***1/4. Mired with a poor middle section but finished hot.

POST MATCH Cornette says Homicide won his title shot but it’s a long time until then and Homicide will have to walk through hell to get to Christmas time.

INTERMISSION – GMC has Lacey and Cabana who’s still holding his balls. Lacey has issues with the low blow and demands that Jimmy apologise then kicks everyone out so she can massage Cabana.

ELSEWHERE Bruno Sammartino talks to champ Bryan Danielson and tells him he’s a role model and a great wrestler. Marufuji is there too and Sammartino talks about what a great title belt it is and how nice he’s happy to be with them both.

ROH tag titles – GENERATION NEXT (c) v KINGS OF WRESTLING

Considering they’re hated heels the KOW are pretty over for their crowd entrance. Aries’ ribs remain taped up. Is it the same tape as the day before? That was effective tape and got the desired results. KOW gets chopped so switch places and get chopped some more. They both duck, CHOP FIVE! Haha, Aries hurt his hand but Strong didn’t. Why is Claudio wearing a tie? Not a bright approach. Strong’s chopping antics allow a heel chop miscue. Aries starts exposing himself as stupid by hitting hilo’s and splashes. You’ve got bad ribs, jackass! Another splash follows and sooner or later he’ll do some damage he can’t walk away from. Claudio screws something up but covers for it as an injury and Hero runs in to dump Aries on the ropes. Was that deliberate? Looked smooth! Now Aries’ stupidity works against him as KOW work over his ribs like a pair of motherfuckers. They do a lot of cutesy elaborate stuff, which is designed to look interesting rather than effective. Like they’re trying to do the Strong-Evans-Aries tag team stuff but all the effective moves were used already. Still they do a decent job of keeping Aries isolated and provoking Strong in occasionally. Anyway, Strong gets the hot tag and suplexes Claudio onto Hero. Aries throws himself back in with the heat-seeking missile between 1 and 2. Strong adds in a corkscrew hilo for good measure. Hero gets his team back on top and Claudio hits the Alpamare Waterslide for 2. Gen Next do some fine kicking of Hero’s face. Aries running Hero into Strong’s flying kick is superb. Blockbuster/chop combo and Aries is back in, which is probably a mistake given the state of his ribs. BRIEFCASE TO THE RIBS! Double team Hero’s Welcome on Strong. KOW have cleared the ring. But you need to pin someone really. Idiots. Aries crawls back in there and starts throwing forearms. Hero prevents the brainbuster and KOW hit the KRS-1 for the win and the titles! ***. Kings of Wrestling/Aries idiocy aside at least it made sense. But they could have booked a better match for the big belt change. I was really quite disappointed with how average this was.

VIA TAPE BJ Whitmer talks about how Jimmy Jacobs broke his ankle and put him on the shelf.

GHC title – NAOMICHI MARUFUJI (C) v NIGEL MCGUINNESS

First time the GHC title has been defended outside of Japan. The lighting is pretty cool but the laser show in NOAH is something else. Marufuji is considered somewhat fortunate to be the champion in the first place because he’s so small. I’m a bigger KENTA fan, frankly. I think NOAH should have gone with him for the big title because he has the tools to be more convincing against the bigger competitors. Marufuji just never seems to have reached the higher level, although he is a champion. Nigel pulls a hammy so Marufuji kicks at it like a jerk. Figure Four…on the correct leg! Kudos for that, young sir. Nigel comes back to work the arm. Fairly bland and uninspiring title contest thus far. Nigel is persistent with his work on the arm. Marufuji reverses an Irish whip with his bad arm, which is really quite frustrating. Why bother with all the limb work if you don’t go anywhere with it? Both guys hit lariats for near falls. Headstand and Marufuji is sufficiently confused to take a mule kick for 2. To the apron and Marufuji hits a SHIRANUI OFF THE APRON! Ok, that takes this to a different level. Nigel is a slow getting up. My….hurts. Back up top and Nigel shoves Marufuji onto the ropes for the diving lariat for 2. Crowd sure buy into a near fall! Chaps, do you really think the GHC title is switching in New York? TOWER OF LONDON. NO SOLD. SHIRANUI! Double down. Shiranui is a little convoluted for that kind of selling, surely. REBOUND LARIAT…for 2. TOWER OF LONDON ONTO THE APRON! STRIKING DUEL! Marufuji takes it with SUPERKICKS! That gets 2. Headstand…SUPERKICK! COAST TO COAST! Nigel is fucked. To the ropes – SUPER SHIRANUI and Marufuji retains. ***1/2. Things SURE picked up down the stretch. Incredibly hot for the last 5 minutes or so.

POST MATCH. Marufuji is happy. “Haha, hair spiky, now flat”. Ok, I made that up.

ROH title – BRYAN DANIELSON (c) v KENTA w/Davey Richards

Danielson is all business. IT’S BUSINESS, IT’S BUSINESS TIME! The crowd know about Danielson’s injury so he is MEGA-OVER. As he hands the belt over there’s a feeling he’s waving it goodbye. DUELLING CHANTS! KENTA with an early slap to the face. If Danielson wasn’t revved up before that’ll do it. Danielson decides to take the arm home as a souvenir. KENTA lays in a kick and Danielson bails to sell the shoulder. He knows what the story is about. Danielson has to use any tools to keep KENTA off including kicks, slaps and headbutts. Danielson takes another kick to the shoulder. DAYUM! Danielson has to go defensive with a headlock. KENTA kicks the shoulder again…three times! “OW, GODDAMN IT”. KENTA has been ruthless and the crowd is sensing that Danielson needs their help. The glare off Danielson’s white legs is incredible. I’m being blinded here. KENTA works the shoulder area like a little bastard. KENTA does the slingshot back kick like a jerk so Danielson tackles him! Oh, it’s on BUT KENTA GETS A CROSS ARMBREAKER and Danielson has to get the ropes. KENTA slaps Danielson SO hard. It slapped the taste out of my mouth, and I’m only watching it. Danielson comes firing back with the Cravatplex. He has to take a few shortcuts and chokes KENTA on a pinfall cover before raking the eyes on the rope. Danielson can’t get the surfboard because his arm hurts so he stomps the shit out of KENTA’s knees instead. A more manageable Figure Four follows. Danielson uses the ropes for leverage. KENTA pointing it out is hilarious. Danielson refuses to break when KENTA gets the ropes and the crowd shouts “I got til five referee”. KENTA kicks the shoulder repeatedly to exact his revenge and follows with a springboard dropkick. Because Danielson’s arm is weak is allows KENTA to hit the butterfly suplex into a cross armbreaker! Danielson needs the ropes again. ROLLING MAPLE LEAF! Danielson lifts a page from Lance Storm’s book. Now KENTA needs the ropes. Danielson counters the GTS into the Rolling Elbow. To the ropes and Danielson hits the superplex. CROSSFACE CHICKENWING! KENTA needs the ropes to survive. The ropes have been key in this one. Swan Dive GETS FEET TO THE FACE! KENTA springboards and Danielson dropkicks him out of the air. Danielson is forcing to go southpaw because his right arm is hanging limp. He opts for headbutts instead, which are sick. They trade on suplexes. ROLING FOREARM. NO SOLD. ROLLING LARIAT! They bail outside and Danielson gets a backdrop there. KENTA falls into the front row and INSANE DANIELSON HITS A FUCKING DIVE OFF THE TOP INTO THE 3RD ROW! That’s Gary Busey levels of insanity right there. Back inside Danielson hits the missile dropkick and nips up with one arm. Danielson makes the mistake of going for the rolling elbow and it’s blocked into the FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Danielson is forced into the ropes again. Danielson dives off the top into an Ace Crusher! FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! “TAP OUT” – KENTA. Danielson gets the ropes out of desperation. KENTA starts swinging and gets caught in the REGALPLEX! Crowd is psyched! Up top and Danielson has KENTA for the BACK SUPERPLEX! Surely he hurt himself there. Pin gets 2. CATTLE MUTILATION! Danielson surely can’t hold onto it for long and KENTA gets the ropes. Back up top and KENTA jumps up there but gets dumped off. KENTA CATCHES HIM…GO TO SREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP! ONE-TWO-TH-ROPES! Ring positioning! KENTA goes back to work on the shoulder and BUSAIKU’S him in the shoulder. Danielson sees the Busaiku coming and counters into the ROLLING PRAWN HOLD…FOR 2! KENTA wants the GTS again but Danielson counters into the crucifix for 2. ELBOW STRIKES! KENTA CAN’T MOVE. HE’S BASICALLY FUCKED UP. HE’S BACK UP! HE’S STANDING. CATTLE MUTILATION…ROLLED THROUGH FOR 2. TIGER SUPLEX FOR 2! He still had the arms. He still has them! CATTLE MUTILATION! MORE ELBOWS. CATTLE MUTILATION. KENTA TAPS! DANIELSON RETAINS! What a finish! ****1/2. What a finish! Superb stuff with the shoulder and the finish is great!

The 411: And with that, I’m outta here! You’re sure to hear from me again, but don’t go expecting any tape reviews anytime soon. Much love, AF.
Final Score:  9.0   [  Amazing ]